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In a message dated 10/1/2007 7:17:13 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
luvbullbreeds@... writes:

I *thought* I had a grasp of
the concept until it came to my attention that this is more than just
about learning it's is a part of all interactions with children. This
boggles my mind.



____________________________________

Karen, I think you might be mixing what I see as 2 forms of unschooling. One
kind is Radical Unschooling, which is a way of life, of living with your
children, including educational style. The other one, is based more in
educational style i.e.; no curriculum, total freedom for the child to follow their
interests, joy-driven learning. I'm becoming more and more radical as time
passes, and it's freeing and soothing to me and to the kids. I don't know how
"far" I'll go (I guess you could say), but with each change, my children and I
respond better to one another, it's more fulfilling than ever before and we are
enjoying one another more. It's not at ALL the child-king situation that I
see you being concerned about. Or Lord of the Flies-esque. If so, we'd all be
loosing our minds and not be as happy as these families are and I am. Rather,
this is a different type of hands-on parenting. It's just a matter of
equality - we and our children are not the same. We are different, with different
needs and wants and tastes. But we are still equal, and children can be an
equal part of the family - it's almost like...in proportion to the whole family,
I see it kind of like this: A new baby plays a strong role in the family,
but not on decision making things. Babies of course can't chose their clothes,
the carpet we buy or the color of the car or whatever we are doing, but as
they age, they can and do. No reason NOT to allow that to happen! And as they
age, they way they bring their ideas into the family, makes for more and more
equality in more and more areas of the house...

Ugh, I'm not sure I'm explaining this well. I'm trying to show the process
of how I see RU happening from birth on. When coming to it later on, it's
choppy sometimes and can be a difficult transition. It may appear as you are
describing it, but I can assure you, it isn't like that at all. I'm not cow-towing
to my children - and neither are they, to me.

I apologize if this made no sense. I'm fighting a cold and the baby got up
during this letter writing and I had a few more interruptions, lol, and I'm
tired. But I wanted a chance to try and be better understood.

Warmly,
Karen PS



************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karen Swanay

Thank you Karen! That really is all I'm trying to get. It's radically
different from how life looks to me at least from a wide angle view. Here
my kids (11 and 9) do help decide what's for dinner. They pick out their
own clothes (within reason) and they collaborated with us on the new
furniture we bought. BUT we made the final decision. What I've been
reading *looks like* kids get the final say no matter what and that is both
different and to my mind irresponsible. And no, not just on this list.
Other places too. I've been doing a pretty hefty amount of reading. One
site mentioned her daughter (age 4) has been eating only ice cream for 6
months because that's all she's wanted! The writer was joyous about this.
It's these kinds of things that have me befuddled. If this is what is meant
by the philosophy well, I can't abdicate parenting. That's negligence. If
it's more a matter of treating kids like they have a brain in their heads
and can be a part of life then that's totally different and how I've been
raising mine all along. HOWEVER, I still insist they move their bodies, try
to eat well, and clean their rooms and bathroom. They are a part of the
family, not reigning over it.

But I thank you for your honest attempt at an explaination. That was very
kind of you. I hope you get to feeling better soon! =)

Karen


On 10/1/07, Kidgie@... <Kidgie@...> wrote:
>
>
> In a message dated 10/1/2007 7:17:13 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
> luvbullbreeds@... <luvbullbreeds%40gmail.com> writes:
>
> I *thought* I had a grasp of
> the concept until it came to my attention that this is more than just
> about learning it's is a part of all interactions with children. This
> boggles my mind.
>
> ____________________________________
>
> Karen, I think you might be mixing what I see as 2 forms of unschooling.
> One
> kind is Radical Unschooling, which is a way of life, of living with your
> children, including educational style. The other one, is based more in
> educational style i.e.; no curriculum, total freedom for the child to
> follow their
> interests, joy-driven learning. I'm becoming more and more radical as time
>
> passes, and it's freeing and soothing to me and to the kids. I don't know
> how
> "far" I'll go (I guess you could say), but with each change, my children
> and I
> respond better to one another, it's more fulfilling than ever before and
> we are
> enjoying one another more. It's not at ALL the child-king situation that I
>
> see you being concerned about. Or Lord of the Flies-esque. If so, we'd all
> be
> loosing our minds and not be as happy as these families are and I am.
> Rather,
> this is a different type of hands-on parenting. It's just a matter of
> equality - we and our children are not the same. We are different, with
> different
> needs and wants and tastes. But we are still equal, and children can be an
>
> equal part of the family - it's almost like...in proportion to the whole
> family,
> I see it kind of like this: A new baby plays a strong role in the family,
> but not on decision making things. Babies of course can't chose their
> clothes,
> the carpet we buy or the color of the car or whatever we are doing, but as
>
> they age, they can and do. No reason NOT to allow that to happen! And as
> they
> age, they way they bring their ideas into the family, makes for more and
> more
> equality in more and more areas of the house...
>
> Ugh, I'm not sure I'm explaining this well. I'm trying to show the process
>
> of how I see RU happening from birth on. When coming to it later on, it's
> choppy sometimes and can be a difficult transition. It may appear as you
> are
> describing it, but I can assure you, it isn't like that at all. I'm not
> cow-towing
> to my children - and neither are they, to me.
>
> I apologize if this made no sense. I'm fighting a cold and the baby got up
>
> during this letter writing and I had a few more interruptions, lol, and
> I'm
> tired. But I wanted a chance to try and be better understood.
>
> Warmly,
> Karen PS
>
> ************************************** See what's new at
> http://www.aol.com
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



--
"Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about."

LOI 1/26/07
PA 3/22/07
DTC 8/10/07
Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]