Karen Buxcel

Is you all!

And on that note, after driving myself mad for a couple days searching and
pondering stuff about right-brained learners, and beginning to think my
child has a 'problem' with learning, I'm stopping myself right here, right
now and coming to you for answers. I trust this list, and I cherish the
information I gather here, so am hoping I'll get some good input.

My 8 year old son, I believe, is probably a right brained learner. However,
I refuse to think of him as learning disabled, etc. All the stuff I'm
finding on-line is giving me a very icky feeling in my stomach, so I know
it's not the information I'm intended to find.

We've got new friends, not unschoolers, but homeschoolers, who do some
school at home kinds of things, so I know that this is what's causing all of
my angst. Uggh. Anyway, this morning she (mom) made a comment to me about
how her 9yo ds wanted to show Saylor a magic trick, and the mom said, yeah,
you should, and then he said "but, it's got math in it and Saylor doesn't
know Math, he said he really wants to know it, but he doesn't" (this is her
rendition of the story to me). So, I'm trying to figure out if she's
dropping some sort of judgement on me, like "i can't believe you aren't
teaching your kid math", or what? I did talk to Saylor about that, asking
him if he told his friend he "didn't know Math", Saylor said he never said
that.

I feel like my ds isn't happy sometimes. Maybe he is having issues with not
being able to read, etc? How do I support him through this? We live a rich
life, really we do. We're busy all the time doing the things he wants to
do; kayak, hike, fish, swim, etc. But, if we aren't doing something like
that, then we're home and he seems lost and unhappy. And some of this gets
turned into anger and aggression towards his little brother(s).

Any ideas here? I don't know what else to share, because I'm not even sure
what I'm asking for, exactly? Maybe someone else has been there and can
share their story? Maybe someone has another insight that I'm completely
missing?

Thanks so much,
Karen

--
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know
peace."
Jimi Hendrix


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], "Karen Buxcel"
<thewildtribe@...> wrote:
>> Any ideas here? I don't know what else to share, because I'm not
even sure
> what I'm asking for, exactly?

I'm not sure what you're asking for, either, but maybe a link on the
subject of Gardner's theory of Multiple Intelligences would help, so
here ya go:

http://sandradodd.com/intelligences/

> We've got new friends, not unschoolers, but homeschoolers, who do
some
> school at home kinds of things, so I know that this is what's
causing all of
> my angst.

Okay, so you're looking for a way to "explain" your kid to others?
Yikes. I haven't run into this too much wrt "academic" stuff, but I
have with behavioral stuff - as in "you should do what I do and yell
at your kid more". Kind of frustrating. I try to stick with vague
replies like "that wouldn't work for our family".

>"but, it's got math in it and Saylor doesn't
> know Math, he said he really wants to know it, but he doesn't"

Okay, here's a question for you - do you believe your son is
learning about "math" in his own way already? If you're feeling some
insecurities in this area you're more likely to be unnerved by this
kind of statement. Do *you* need help seeing "math" in your real
lives so that you can better trust that your kid really is learning?

> I feel like my ds isn't happy sometimes. Maybe he is having
issues with not
> being able to read, etc? How do I support him through this? We
live a rich
> life, really we do. We're busy all the time doing the things he
wants to
> do; kayak, hike, fish, swim, etc. But, if we aren't doing
something like
> that, then we're home and he seems lost and unhappy. And some of
this gets
> turned into anger and aggression towards his little brother(s).

Maybe he needs more active stuff he can do at home. Maybe he needs
to be active and social at the same time - that's an issue with my
stepson from time to time. He loves to do Big Active things, but he
also likes to do them with other people. So we're always on the
lookout for folks with outdoor hobbies and interests who would be
willing to bring him along. We've found a few - Ray got to go
waterskiing a bunch this summer, for example, even though its not
something our family can afford.

---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 13)

Ren Allen

~~My 8 year old son, I believe, is probably a right brained learner.
However, I refuse to think of him as learning disabled, etc. All the
stuff I'm finding on-line is giving me a very icky feeling in my
stomach, so I know it's not the information I'm intended to find.~~

Weeelllll...
I think the whole left-brain/right-brain thing is a myth to a large
degree. I understand that people like to use it as a model to
understand how some people absorb information, but it's
over-generalized.:) I know that's not what you're asking, but read
this:
http://donaldclarkplanb.blogspot.com/2007/06/left-brain-right-brain-myth.html

As to the physical needs...
Jalen also has very high physical needs. If he doesn't get enough
large motor movements he gets very tense and twitchy. I can actually
see him losing control, making everyone around him miserable if we
aren't proactive. He needs to climb, run, jump, flip etc...

His other challenge (for me anyway) is transitions. Once he's doing a
thing, he wants to keep doing it. He'll flow through his own
transitions between computer, video game and tv as long as no one else
is influencing that...but with siblings there is that need to share
the resources and it's very hard for him. There is also the aspect of
leaving to go somewhere and trying to transition towards that. We've
learned some better tools along the way, for helping it flow better
for all of us. This last year has been a HUGE one for him in terms of
development and gaining new tools.

Maybe if you have a specific situation where there was a challenge? It
sounds like this other woman shook your normally confident self and
that's what this is about, rather than your child's way of being.:)

I try to hang out with people that understand Jalen's uniqueness and
can be supportive, though it's become less and less of an issue this
past year. We spent several hours at a friend's house playing last
week, without a single incident. This is really BIG for us. The little
boy that he was playing with is one that also has a hard time
understanding other people's personal space and has upset Jalen in the
past (though Jalen also has not understood this subtle art in the past
either....pretty common at 6y.o.) yet they played happily for almost
three hours.

Forget the right brain hype. Saylor is simply Saylor. All is well and
if he's having difficulties then focus on how to support him through
those. We have several ways that Jalen can get movement indoors so
when we can't get outside there are ways to MOVE.:)

Meet the needs, support him for exactly who-he-is and let the
naysayers mutter incoherently to themselves.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Ren Allen

~~My 8 year old son, I believe, is probably a right brained learner.
However, I refuse to think of him as learning disabled, etc. All the
stuff I'm finding on-line is giving me a very icky feeling in my
stomach, so I know it's not the information I'm intended to find.~~

Weeelllll...
I think the whole left-brain/right-brain thing is a myth to a large
degree. I understand that people like to use it as a model to
understand how some people absorb information, but it's
over-generalized.:) I know that's not what you're asking, but read
this:
http://donaldclarkplanb.blogspot.com/2007/06/left-brain-right-brain-myth.html

As to the physical needs...
Jalen also has very high physical needs. If he doesn't get enough
large motor movements he gets very tense and twitchy. I can actually
see him losing control, making everyone around him miserable if we
aren't proactive. He needs to climb, run, jump, flip etc...

His other challenge (for me anyway) is transitions. Once he's doing a
thing, he wants to keep doing it. He'll flow through his own
transitions between computer, video game and tv as long as no one else
is influencing that...but with siblings there is that need to share
the resources and it's very hard for him. There is also the aspect of
leaving to go somewhere and trying to transition towards that. We've
learned some better tools along the way, for helping it flow better
for all of us. This last year has been a HUGE one for him in terms of
development and gaining new tools.

Maybe if you have a specific situation where there was a challenge? It
sounds like this other woman shook your normally confident self and
that's what this is about, rather than your child's way of being.:)

I try to hang out with people that understand Jalen's uniqueness and
can be supportive, though it's become less and less of an issue this
past year. We spent several hours at a friend's house playing last
week, without a single incident. This is really BIG for us. The little
boy that he was playing with is one that also has a hard time
understanding other people's personal space and has upset Jalen in the
past (though Jalen also has not understood this subtle art in the past
either....pretty common at 6y.o.) yet they played happily for almost
three hours.

Forget the right brain hype. Saylor is simply Saylor. All is well and
if he's having difficulties then focus on how to support him through
those. We have several ways that Jalen can get movement indoors so
when we can't get outside there are ways to MOVE.:)

Meet the needs, support him for exactly who-he-is and let the
naysayers mutter incoherently to themselves.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com