Wildflower Car

>I messed up big time. I missed a very good friends son's first birthday
>today. I called her after the fact and basically she said she was very upset
>and would call me another time.
>
>This was really my fault. I told her my whole family would be there, and
>without a phone call or anything, we just didn't show.
>
>I don't even have a decent excuse. I simply thought the party was next
>weekend, even though I had it on my calendar correctly.
>
>First birthdays are really important to her family. I missed her older
>child's first birthday a few years ago. She knew I was going to miss it, but
>she was really upset. It took a long time to mend the hurt feelings from
>that. And for whatever reason, every time I miss a big event in someone's
>life close to me, it always seems to be hers. This is no reflection of my
>feelings for this friend!
>
>In my house we have kept 1st birthdays to family only. This was a big affair
>with lots of activities for adults and kids.
>
>Any advice on how to mend this?
>
>Melissa

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chris

Forgetting the baby's birthday was a thoughtless mistake, but the key word
there is "mistake". You didn't fail to show up on purpose, and you
apologized for your mistake.

What's more, the baby isn't going to remember the party itself, much less
whether or not you showed up. It seems that your friend needs to develop a
thicker skin in dealing with situations like this.

Most moms realize that having a family is a ton of work, and we as moms are
all constantly juggling a thousand different commitments. Sometimes, a thing
or two will get lost in the shuffle, but that's just life.

I can't really offer any specific advice. You know your friend best, so you
probably know the best way to approach her about it. The main thing is,
don't beat yourself up about it, and don't feel like you have to apologize
over and over again for the next 20 years. Either she values your friendship
enough to get past this, or she doesn't.

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Wildflower Car
Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2007 8:20 PM
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] OT: Advice on how to apologize


>I messed up big time. I missed a very good friends son's first birthday
>today. I called her after the fact and basically she said she was very
upset
>and would call me another time.
>
>This was really my fault. I told her my whole family would be there, and
>without a phone call or anything, we just didn't show.
>
>I don't even have a decent excuse. I simply thought the party was next
>weekend, even though I had it on my calendar correctly.
>
>First birthdays are really important to her family. I missed her older
>child's first birthday a few years ago. She knew I was going to miss it,
but
>she was really upset. It took a long time to mend the hurt feelings from
>that. And for whatever reason, every time I miss a big event in someone's
>life close to me, it always seems to be hers. This is no reflection of my
>feelings for this friend!
>
>In my house we have kept 1st birthdays to family only. This was a big
affair
>with lots of activities for adults and kids.
>
>Any advice on how to mend this?
>
>Melissa

_________________________________________________________________
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HotmailR. NOW with 5GB storage.
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Julie Hampton

I think that good friends should understand when good friends mess up-- why did she not call you and ask where you were? If I invited my good friend to a party and she said she was coming I would have called her and said where are you?

so I think the responsibility is not all yours

so how to say sorry- um sorry I missed it I wish you had called when it was obvious I was late- How can I make it up to you
----- Original Message -----
From: Wildflower Car<mailto:unschoolfool@...>
To: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> ; [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2007 7:20 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] OT: Advice on how to apologize



>I messed up big time. I missed a very good friends son's first birthday
>today. I called her after the fact and basically she said she was very upset
>and would call me another time.
>
>This was really my fault. I told her my whole family would be there, and
>without a phone call or anything, we just didn't show.
>
>I don't even have a decent excuse. I simply thought the party was next
>weekend, even though I had it on my calendar correctly.
>
>First birthdays are really important to her family. I missed her older
>child's first birthday a few years ago. She knew I was going to miss it, but
>she was really upset. It took a long time to mend the hurt feelings from
>that. And for whatever reason, every time I miss a big event in someone's
>life close to me, it always seems to be hers. This is no reflection of my
>feelings for this friend!
>
>In my house we have kept 1st birthdays to family only. This was a big affair
>with lots of activities for adults and kids.
>
>Any advice on how to mend this?
>
>Melissa

_________________________________________________________________
More photos; more messages; more whatever � Get MORE with Windows Live� Hotmail�. NOW with 5GB storage.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jenn

Sounds like there is a lot of heaviness around expectations your
friend has of you.

I think you made a mistake. We all make mistakes. I wouldn't sweat
it. If your friend has issues with it, help her through them or let
her cool off.

warmly,
jenn

http://www.livingalaska.blogspot.com