Ramones Annonymous ;)
[email protected]
lol...ya'll like that title?
Julian, who will be 5 on Tuesday, DEMANDS that we listen to the Ramones cd
in the van. Always. No other options. No matter what. Ever. World without end,
amen, lol...We all are getting quite sick of the Ramones and we don't want to
at all. It's a cd of 30 songs, lol, but it's making us all crazy. We have
suggested the Ramones on the way THERE, radio or another cd on the way BACK,
but no avail. We have voted. Nope. The result? Screaming. Tears. Anger...from
Julian that is. How can I cope? Any ideas? I'd be willing to just allow All
Ramones All the Time, but *I* like different types of music and I'm getting
sick of the Ramones, which makes me sad, lol..and the other kids are ready to
scream. Any suggestions on how to make all happier?
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julian, who will be 5 on Tuesday, DEMANDS that we listen to the Ramones cd
in the van. Always. No other options. No matter what. Ever. World without end,
amen, lol...We all are getting quite sick of the Ramones and we don't want to
at all. It's a cd of 30 songs, lol, but it's making us all crazy. We have
suggested the Ramones on the way THERE, radio or another cd on the way BACK,
but no avail. We have voted. Nope. The result? Screaming. Tears. Anger...from
Julian that is. How can I cope? Any ideas? I'd be willing to just allow All
Ramones All the Time, but *I* like different types of music and I'm getting
sick of the Ramones, which makes me sad, lol..and the other kids are ready to
scream. Any suggestions on how to make all happier?
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trektheory
Is there a way that he can listen with headphones on a portable cd
player, and you listen to whatever you want?
Linda
player, and you listen to whatever you want?
Linda
--- In [email protected], Kidgie@... wrote:
>
> lol...ya'll like that title?
>
> Julian, who will be 5 on Tuesday, DEMANDS that we listen to the
Ramones cd
> in the van. Always. No other options. No matter what. Ever. World
without end,
> amen, lol...We all are getting quite sick of the Ramones and we
don't want to
> at all. It's a cd of 30 songs, lol, but it's making us all crazy.
We have
> suggested the Ramones on the way THERE, radio or another cd on the
way BACK,
> but no avail. We have voted. Nope. The result? Screaming. Tears.
Anger...from
> Julian that is. How can I cope? Any ideas? I'd be willing to just
allow All
> Ramones All the Time, but *I* like different types of music and I'm
getting
> sick of the Ramones, which makes me sad, lol..and the other kids
are ready to
> scream. Any suggestions on how to make all happier?
>
>
>
> ************************************** See what's new at
http://www.aol.com
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Wildflower Car
We had this same problem. We got portable cd players for them.
Wildflower
Kick back and relax with hot games and cool activities at the Messenger
Caf�. http://www.cafemessenger.com?ocid=TXT_TAGHM_SeptHMtagline1
Wildflower
>From: Kidgie@..._________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Ramones Annonymous ;)
>Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2007 18:16:37 EDT
>
>lol...ya'll like that title?
>
>Julian, who will be 5 on Tuesday, DEMANDS that we listen to the Ramones cd
>in the van. Always. No other options. No matter what. Ever. World without
>end,
>amen, lol...We all are getting quite sick of the Ramones and we don't want
>to
>at all. It's a cd of 30 songs, lol, but it's making us all crazy. We have
>suggested the Ramones on the way THERE, radio or another cd on the way
>BACK,
>but no avail. We have voted. Nope. The result? Screaming. Tears.
>Anger...from
>Julian that is. How can I cope? Any ideas? I'd be willing to just allow
>All
>Ramones All the Time, but *I* like different types of music and I'm
>getting
>sick of the Ramones, which makes me sad, lol..and the other kids are ready
>to
>scream. Any suggestions on how to make all happier?
>
>
>
>************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Kick back and relax with hot games and cool activities at the Messenger
Caf�. http://www.cafemessenger.com?ocid=TXT_TAGHM_SeptHMtagline1
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/15/2007 3:35:22 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
trektheory@... writes:
Is there a way that he can listen with headphones on a portable cd
player, and you listen to whatever you want?
Linda
We offered to buy him one, he refused...I think he's uncomfortable with
things on his head and ears...
Still thinking here, too...
K.
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trektheory@... writes:
Is there a way that he can listen with headphones on a portable cd
player, and you listen to whatever you want?
Linda
We offered to buy him one, he refused...I think he's uncomfortable with
things on his head and ears...
Still thinking here, too...
K.
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/15/2007 3:52:30 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
unschoolfool@... writes:
We had this same problem. We got portable cd players for them.
Wildflower
Thanks, Wildflower...I just replied saying that Julian doesn't like stuff on
his ears or head. But it's a great idea, if only...
Still thinking...
Karen
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
unschoolfool@... writes:
We had this same problem. We got portable cd players for them.
Wildflower
Thanks, Wildflower...I just replied saying that Julian doesn't like stuff on
his ears or head. But it's a great idea, if only...
Still thinking...
Karen
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jane doe
--- Kidgie@... wrote:
sympathy and hindsight that now that he is 14 he rolls
his eyes when I start singing anything from that tape.
Letting him have his own player is an idea if you are
desperate, just watch the volume on the headphones. Or
see if you can get him to agree to take turns with his
siblings, at least you'd get a break.
ELISA
We have a collective responsibility to the least of us-Phil Ramone
We can do no great things; only small things with great love- Mother Teresa
____________________________________________________________________________________
Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.
http://searchmarketing.yahoo.com/
> Julian, who will be 5 on Tuesday, DEMANDS that weFor us it was A Sesame Street Christmas. You have my
> listen to the Ramones cd
> in the van. Always. No other options. No matter
> what. Ever. World without end,
> amen, lol..
sympathy and hindsight that now that he is 14 he rolls
his eyes when I start singing anything from that tape.
Letting him have his own player is an idea if you are
desperate, just watch the volume on the headphones. Or
see if you can get him to agree to take turns with his
siblings, at least you'd get a break.
ELISA
We have a collective responsibility to the least of us-Phil Ramone
We can do no great things; only small things with great love- Mother Teresa
____________________________________________________________________________________
Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.
http://searchmarketing.yahoo.com/
marji
For us it was Jimi Hendrix's "Burning of the Midnight Lamp" when Liam
was 3 until he was about 5. He would listen to that tune ALL day
long. He learned (by himself) what that little button the CD player
meant with the two arrows, and then he could listen to the song over
and over and over and over and over and... well, you get the
picture. He also liked the Jaco Pastorius composition "A Remark You
Made," and he listened to that all the live-long day. When he, I
mean we, wasn't listening to it, he was singing the songs, even
though the Pastorius comp was an instrumental. He also really got
into Aaron Copeland's Appalachian Spring for a little while. That was cool.
It was a blessing that we liked the music he liked very much, but I
mean we heard it ALL the time.
All. The. Time.
No CD player in the car, though, so that was pretty cool.
I just figured it was what he needed to do, so I would either try to
tune it out in a meditative sort of way or I would try to find some
other aspect to get into, maybe just listen to the bass line or
really focus on the drums or something like that. I never asked him
not to listen to it or to listen to something else, but it was just
me and him during the day and his dad when he was home. We just
allowed it, figuring it was obviously really important to Liam. We
figured that when his need was met, he would move on, and he did. I
also knew that the more I was able to *not resist* (sorry for the
split infinitive), the more likely Liam would be able to move on for
his own reasons, rather than for reasons of resisting my
resistance. Know what I mean? That was kind of our MO for
everything when he was little, in fact.
Of course, that's easy for *me* to say, since there were no other
kids to accommodate. I understand that your son doesn't like the
feeling of headphones, but how about the other kids? Would *they* be
okay with listening to their own iPods or CDs?
Just some thoughts. I hope it's helpful!!
Marji, who may never be able to listen to "Burning of the Midnight
Lamp" again, even though it was one of my favorite songs!! Well, maybe...
At 18:53 9/15/2007, you wrote:
was 3 until he was about 5. He would listen to that tune ALL day
long. He learned (by himself) what that little button the CD player
meant with the two arrows, and then he could listen to the song over
and over and over and over and over and... well, you get the
picture. He also liked the Jaco Pastorius composition "A Remark You
Made," and he listened to that all the live-long day. When he, I
mean we, wasn't listening to it, he was singing the songs, even
though the Pastorius comp was an instrumental. He also really got
into Aaron Copeland's Appalachian Spring for a little while. That was cool.
It was a blessing that we liked the music he liked very much, but I
mean we heard it ALL the time.
All. The. Time.
No CD player in the car, though, so that was pretty cool.
I just figured it was what he needed to do, so I would either try to
tune it out in a meditative sort of way or I would try to find some
other aspect to get into, maybe just listen to the bass line or
really focus on the drums or something like that. I never asked him
not to listen to it or to listen to something else, but it was just
me and him during the day and his dad when he was home. We just
allowed it, figuring it was obviously really important to Liam. We
figured that when his need was met, he would move on, and he did. I
also knew that the more I was able to *not resist* (sorry for the
split infinitive), the more likely Liam would be able to move on for
his own reasons, rather than for reasons of resisting my
resistance. Know what I mean? That was kind of our MO for
everything when he was little, in fact.
Of course, that's easy for *me* to say, since there were no other
kids to accommodate. I understand that your son doesn't like the
feeling of headphones, but how about the other kids? Would *they* be
okay with listening to their own iPods or CDs?
Just some thoughts. I hope it's helpful!!
Marji, who may never be able to listen to "Burning of the Midnight
Lamp" again, even though it was one of my favorite songs!! Well, maybe...
At 18:53 9/15/2007, you wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Thanks, Wildflower...I just replied saying that Julian doesn't like stuff on
>his ears or head. But it's a great idea, if only...
>
>Still thinking...
>
trektheory
Although I'm all for respecting kids, I think it is a two-way street.
Parents have needs and rights, too -- and a 5 yr old is old enough to
be able to understand that. Perhaps if you present it to him as a
problem that you want his help solving, acknowledge that the
headphones/earbuds feel funny to him (and sometimes it is more the
oddness than discomfort), and ask him to help come up with solutions.
You don't mind him listening to his music as much as he wants -- but
you have a need for a break from it part of the time in the car. He
may be able to come up with a solution you haven't thought of, or be
more willing to compromise somewhere, if he realizes how it impacts
you. (And, at 5, he probably doesn't, unless you tell him.)
Best of luck.
Linda, who wasn't allowed to sing to her son when he was 2!
Parents have needs and rights, too -- and a 5 yr old is old enough to
be able to understand that. Perhaps if you present it to him as a
problem that you want his help solving, acknowledge that the
headphones/earbuds feel funny to him (and sometimes it is more the
oddness than discomfort), and ask him to help come up with solutions.
You don't mind him listening to his music as much as he wants -- but
you have a need for a break from it part of the time in the car. He
may be able to come up with a solution you haven't thought of, or be
more willing to compromise somewhere, if he realizes how it impacts
you. (And, at 5, he probably doesn't, unless you tell him.)
Best of luck.
Linda, who wasn't allowed to sing to her son when he was 2!
--- In [email protected], Kidgie@... wrote:
>
>
> In a message dated 9/15/2007 3:35:22 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
> trektheory@... writes:
>
> Is there a way that he can listen with headphones on a portable cd
> player, and you listen to whatever you want?
>
> Linda
>
>
> We offered to buy him one, he refused...I think he's uncomfortable
with
> things on his head and ears...
>
> Still thinking here, too...
>
> K.
>
>
>
> ************************************** See what's new at
http://www.aol.com
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
GWilhelm
K-
Since he can't handle the headphones, how about cd players for everyone else
and he can listen to the Ramones through the car? Even though my kids are
much older, when we go on long trips, I listen to books on tape and have my
cassette or cd player with me. The kids have their Ipods. We usually start
off our road trips listening to a variety of stations/cds through the car
stereo so we can all sing along :) and 'bond', but after a while, we can
have 'private time' with our own music/book. Even running errands around
town, we still do this.
PS- Since I am usually driving, for safety's sake, and definitely when the
kids were younger, I needed to keep an 'ear' on what was going on, I only
use one of the earplugs while I listen to my book.
G
Since he can't handle the headphones, how about cd players for everyone else
and he can listen to the Ramones through the car? Even though my kids are
much older, when we go on long trips, I listen to books on tape and have my
cassette or cd player with me. The kids have their Ipods. We usually start
off our road trips listening to a variety of stations/cds through the car
stereo so we can all sing along :) and 'bond', but after a while, we can
have 'private time' with our own music/book. Even running errands around
town, we still do this.
PS- Since I am usually driving, for safety's sake, and definitely when the
kids were younger, I needed to keep an 'ear' on what was going on, I only
use one of the earplugs while I listen to my book.
G
----- Original Message -----
From: <Kidgie@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, September 15, 2007 6:52 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Ramones Annonymous ;)
>
> In a message dated 9/15/2007 3:35:22 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
> trektheory@... writes:
>
> Is there a way that he can listen with headphones on a portable cd
> player, and you listen to whatever you want?
>
> Linda
>
>
> We offered to buy him one, he refused...I think he's uncomfortable with
> things on his head and ears...
>
> Still thinking here, too...
>
> K.
>
>
>
> ************************************** See what's new at
> http://www.aol.com
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
marji
At 11:29 9/16/2007, you wrote:
however, that 5 ~ or any age ~ is "old enough" for anything. That's
an arbitrary "should," and I really think it's an individual
thing. In mainstream society, I suppose 5-year-olds are expected to
do lots of things they may not be ready for. But, if a family wishes
to eschew mainstream-thinking, these kinds of expectations have no place.
I believe that it is best for the one who has more coping tools to be
the one who yields. Only Karen know how well her Julian would be
equipped to do this now. I like the idea of inviting him to offer
solutions, but when Karen wrote, "Screaming. Tears. Anger...from
Julian that is," this suggested to me that he has a need that is
greater than his ability to be empathic to others ~ right now.
It won't last forever. Really.
It would be most helpful to change how Julian's "demands" are
perceived. He is adept at identifying what he needs and expressing
it. That's amazing and wonderful! There will be opportunities when
he develops more empathy to help him mesh his needs with others'
needs around him. He'll develop empathy by having it modeled for
him, and this gives you a beautiful opportunity to do that! But,
this may not be the time to force him to develop empathy (an
oxymoron). Forcing him cannot bring him any closer to achieving that skill.
I think if you can find ways to help the other kids while meeting
Julian's needs, that will be wonderful!! Just remember: It won't
last forever. Really.
Marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Although I'm all for respecting kids, I think it is a two-way street.I agree with the two-way street concept in theory. I don't agree,
however, that 5 ~ or any age ~ is "old enough" for anything. That's
an arbitrary "should," and I really think it's an individual
thing. In mainstream society, I suppose 5-year-olds are expected to
do lots of things they may not be ready for. But, if a family wishes
to eschew mainstream-thinking, these kinds of expectations have no place.
I believe that it is best for the one who has more coping tools to be
the one who yields. Only Karen know how well her Julian would be
equipped to do this now. I like the idea of inviting him to offer
solutions, but when Karen wrote, "Screaming. Tears. Anger...from
Julian that is," this suggested to me that he has a need that is
greater than his ability to be empathic to others ~ right now.
It won't last forever. Really.
It would be most helpful to change how Julian's "demands" are
perceived. He is adept at identifying what he needs and expressing
it. That's amazing and wonderful! There will be opportunities when
he develops more empathy to help him mesh his needs with others'
needs around him. He'll develop empathy by having it modeled for
him, and this gives you a beautiful opportunity to do that! But,
this may not be the time to force him to develop empathy (an
oxymoron). Forcing him cannot bring him any closer to achieving that skill.
I think if you can find ways to help the other kids while meeting
Julian's needs, that will be wonderful!! Just remember: It won't
last forever. Really.
Marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/2007 8:21:15 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
marji@... writes:
Of course, that's easy for *me* to say, since there were no other
kids to accommodate. I understand that your son doesn't like the
feeling of headphones, but how about the other kids? Would *they* be
okay with listening to their own iPods or CDs?
Just some thoughts. I hope it's helpful!!
Marji, who may never be able to listen to "Burning of the Midnight
Lamp" again, even though it was one of my favorite songs!! Well, maybe...
LOL! I'm just feeling better knowing I really am NOT alone. If I could
afford iPods or even Walkmen, lol, for EACH child, I would! But I can't even
afford a blank cd these days. I'm trying to get the others in the car to accept
it, I know it's a stage of sorts and will pass more easily on its own, than if
we fight it. But it's just so much Ramones! lol! Hopefully this will
pass...Float On by Modest Mouse and Hey Ya by Outkast, lol! Well, both of those were
played a LOT too but it was different then - it was when he was 2...now he
SCREAMS at us when we take the cd out and it's like a security blanket for
him...which means, I suppose, we just deal for now and hope it ends soon, huh? At
least it's not too often that we are ALL in the car at the same time, but I
DO miss hearing new music here and there...lol...
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marji@... writes:
Of course, that's easy for *me* to say, since there were no other
kids to accommodate. I understand that your son doesn't like the
feeling of headphones, but how about the other kids? Would *they* be
okay with listening to their own iPods or CDs?
Just some thoughts. I hope it's helpful!!
Marji, who may never be able to listen to "Burning of the Midnight
Lamp" again, even though it was one of my favorite songs!! Well, maybe...
LOL! I'm just feeling better knowing I really am NOT alone. If I could
afford iPods or even Walkmen, lol, for EACH child, I would! But I can't even
afford a blank cd these days. I'm trying to get the others in the car to accept
it, I know it's a stage of sorts and will pass more easily on its own, than if
we fight it. But it's just so much Ramones! lol! Hopefully this will
pass...Float On by Modest Mouse and Hey Ya by Outkast, lol! Well, both of those were
played a LOT too but it was different then - it was when he was 2...now he
SCREAMS at us when we take the cd out and it's like a security blanket for
him...which means, I suppose, we just deal for now and hope it ends soon, huh? At
least it's not too often that we are ALL in the car at the same time, but I
DO miss hearing new music here and there...lol...
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/2007 8:30:31 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
trektheory@... writes:
Although I'm all for respecting kids, I think it is a two-way street.
Parents have needs and rights, too -- and a 5 yr old is old enough to
be able to understand that. Perhaps if you present it to him as a
problem that you want his help solving, acknowledge that the
headphones/earbuds feel funny to him (and sometimes it is more the
oddness than discomfort), and ask him to help come up with solutions.
You don't mind him listening to his music as much as he wants -- but
you have a need for a break from it part of the time in the car. He
may be able to come up with a solution you haven't thought of, or be
more willing to compromise somewhere, if he realizes how it impacts
you. (And, at 5, he probably doesn't, unless you tell him.)
Yeah, I try. I have DEF. talked with him about taking turns, different music
and bands, how others grow tired of the same music that often, all kinds of
options. He is on the edge of SPD, so headphones or ear buds being
uncomfortable are typical for him (many textures and feelings are too much for him).
I think just time will improve this...and in the mean time, I just need to
make sure my sense of humor is in full swing, lol!
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trektheory@... writes:
Although I'm all for respecting kids, I think it is a two-way street.
Parents have needs and rights, too -- and a 5 yr old is old enough to
be able to understand that. Perhaps if you present it to him as a
problem that you want his help solving, acknowledge that the
headphones/earbuds feel funny to him (and sometimes it is more the
oddness than discomfort), and ask him to help come up with solutions.
You don't mind him listening to his music as much as he wants -- but
you have a need for a break from it part of the time in the car. He
may be able to come up with a solution you haven't thought of, or be
more willing to compromise somewhere, if he realizes how it impacts
you. (And, at 5, he probably doesn't, unless you tell him.)
Yeah, I try. I have DEF. talked with him about taking turns, different music
and bands, how others grow tired of the same music that often, all kinds of
options. He is on the edge of SPD, so headphones or ear buds being
uncomfortable are typical for him (many textures and feelings are too much for him).
I think just time will improve this...and in the mean time, I just need to
make sure my sense of humor is in full swing, lol!
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/2007 9:19:33 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
marji@... writes:
I think if you can find ways to help the other kids while meeting
Julian's needs, that will be wonderful!! Just remember: It won't
last forever. Really.
Marji
M, I'm keeping this letter! And will share bits with the older kids too -
thank you!!
Karen
(thanks to ALL of you that are helping me, all the time!)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marji@... writes:
I think if you can find ways to help the other kids while meeting
Julian's needs, that will be wonderful!! Just remember: It won't
last forever. Really.
Marji
M, I'm keeping this letter! And will share bits with the older kids too -
thank you!!
Karen
(thanks to ALL of you that are helping me, all the time!)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trektheory
--- In [email protected], Kidgie@... wrote:
that he can come up with, that you haven't thought of. I know when I
have enlisted my ds as a partner, he sometimes (okay, often!)
surprises me with approaches I couldn't think of.
Linda
>different music
>
> Yeah, I try. I have DEF. talked with him about taking turns,
> and bands, how others grow tired of the same music that often, allkinds of
> options. He is on the edge of SPD, so headphones or ear buds beingtoo much for him).
> uncomfortable are typical for him (many textures and feelings are
>need to
> I think just time will improve this...and in the mean time, I just
> make sure my sense of humor is in full swing, lol!Did he have any suggestions? There may be options you both may like,
>
that he can come up with, that you haven't thought of. I know when I
have enlisted my ds as a partner, he sometimes (okay, often!)
surprises me with approaches I couldn't think of.
Linda
Ren Allen
~~Parents have needs and rights, too -- and a 5 yr old is old enough to
be able to understand that. ~~
Not necessarily.
Jalen can occasionally grasp things from my perspective, but not
often. He just isn't ready at 6.5. Emotional intelligence varies from
person to person and certainly doesn't develop on any pre-set
developmental schedule. Five is different in ability for every
person....not only for the reading/math kinda stuff, but for inter and
intrapersonal skills and every other skill that exists.
Some may never develop it as deeply as others. Some people love
reading, some don't. Some people can be extremely empathetic, others
can't. Understanding someone else's needs and wants is a pretty big
skill that doesn't necessarily develop by age 5. Depends.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
be able to understand that. ~~
Not necessarily.
Jalen can occasionally grasp things from my perspective, but not
often. He just isn't ready at 6.5. Emotional intelligence varies from
person to person and certainly doesn't develop on any pre-set
developmental schedule. Five is different in ability for every
person....not only for the reading/math kinda stuff, but for inter and
intrapersonal skills and every other skill that exists.
Some may never develop it as deeply as others. Some people love
reading, some don't. Some people can be extremely empathetic, others
can't. Understanding someone else's needs and wants is a pretty big
skill that doesn't necessarily develop by age 5. Depends.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Ren Allen
~~But I can't even
afford a blank cd these days. ~~
If you can afford gas to drive, I bet you can afford a solution.
There's barter and freecycle and thrift stores and friends that loan
things and lots of solutions if we just open ourselves to possibility.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
afford a blank cd these days. ~~
If you can afford gas to drive, I bet you can afford a solution.
There's barter and freecycle and thrift stores and friends that loan
things and lots of solutions if we just open ourselves to possibility.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/2007 1:28:23 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
trektheory@... writes:
Did he have any suggestions? There may be options you both may like,
that he can come up with, that you haven't thought of. I know when I
have enlisted my ds as a partner, he sometimes (okay, often!)
surprises me with approaches I couldn't think of.
Nope, he had no suggestions. I'm still aiming for taking turns with him and
that kind of thing and being SUPER patient and think as best I can from a
almost-5 year old standpoint. Trying! :) At least for my personal feelings, the
Ramones are great, lol, I'd be less patient I'm afraid to admit, if it were
music I couldn't stand, lol! (but I'd still try!)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trektheory@... writes:
Did he have any suggestions? There may be options you both may like,
that he can come up with, that you haven't thought of. I know when I
have enlisted my ds as a partner, he sometimes (okay, often!)
surprises me with approaches I couldn't think of.
Nope, he had no suggestions. I'm still aiming for taking turns with him and
that kind of thing and being SUPER patient and think as best I can from a
almost-5 year old standpoint. Trying! :) At least for my personal feelings, the
Ramones are great, lol, I'd be less patient I'm afraid to admit, if it were
music I couldn't stand, lol! (but I'd still try!)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/2007 2:48:59 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
gwilhelm@... writes:
K-
Since he can't handle the headphones, how about cd players for everyone else
and he can listen to the Ramones through the car? Even though my kids are
much older, when we go on long trips, I listen to books on tape and have my
cassette or cd player with me. The kids have their Ipods. We usually start
off our road trips listening to a variety of stations/cds through the car
stereo so we can all sing along :) and 'bond', but after a while, we can
have 'private time' with our own music/book. Even running errands around
town, we still do this.
PS- Since I am usually driving, for safety's sake, and definitely when the
kids were younger, I needed to keep an 'ear' on what was going on, I only
use one of the earplugs while I listen to my book.
G
It's an excellent idea, though we also all talk a lot in the car, so it's
not all that conducive to family discussions, lol...also, the $$ for everyone
with a portable cd player is not happening any time soon...so...patience, and
heaps of it! :)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
gwilhelm@... writes:
K-
Since he can't handle the headphones, how about cd players for everyone else
and he can listen to the Ramones through the car? Even though my kids are
much older, when we go on long trips, I listen to books on tape and have my
cassette or cd player with me. The kids have their Ipods. We usually start
off our road trips listening to a variety of stations/cds through the car
stereo so we can all sing along :) and 'bond', but after a while, we can
have 'private time' with our own music/book. Even running errands around
town, we still do this.
PS- Since I am usually driving, for safety's sake, and definitely when the
kids were younger, I needed to keep an 'ear' on what was going on, I only
use one of the earplugs while I listen to my book.
G
It's an excellent idea, though we also all talk a lot in the car, so it's
not all that conducive to family discussions, lol...also, the $$ for everyone
with a portable cd player is not happening any time soon...so...patience, and
heaps of it! :)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/2007 2:52:55 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:
Emotional intelligence varies from
person to person and certainly doesn't develop on any pre-set
developmental schedule. Five is different in ability for every
person....not only for the reading/math kinda stuff, but for inter and
intrapersonal skills and every other skill that exists.
Yeah, Ren, Julian is an interesting mix of things as all kids are, and he
"can't" get this one right now, but he gets a huge variety of other things I'd
not thought possible...
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
starsuncloud@... writes:
Emotional intelligence varies from
person to person and certainly doesn't develop on any pre-set
developmental schedule. Five is different in ability for every
person....not only for the reading/math kinda stuff, but for inter and
intrapersonal skills and every other skill that exists.
Yeah, Ren, Julian is an interesting mix of things as all kids are, and he
"can't" get this one right now, but he gets a huge variety of other things I'd
not thought possible...
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/16/2007 2:56:15 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:
If you can afford gas to drive, I bet you can afford a solution.
There's barter and freecycle and thrift stores and friends that loan
things and lots of solutions if we just open ourselves to possibility.:)
we only really drive to get groceries and to go to my moms or dads for
dinner. we don't drive for fun or pleasure due to cost, so actually...lol...what i
said is true. we get all cable (tv and online) free since my dh works for
time warner, and massive discounts on phone service too...otherwise, i'd not be
here discussing this. we go w/o a lot...portable cds for a family of 7 isn't
going to be a possibility right now...but its a good suggestion, indeed! and
i am thinking of other things we can do to make this easier for all
passengers...creativity is a bit dry right now, but i'm sure a situation will present
itself if i just keep looking! :)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
starsuncloud@... writes:
If you can afford gas to drive, I bet you can afford a solution.
There's barter and freecycle and thrift stores and friends that loan
things and lots of solutions if we just open ourselves to possibility.:)
we only really drive to get groceries and to go to my moms or dads for
dinner. we don't drive for fun or pleasure due to cost, so actually...lol...what i
said is true. we get all cable (tv and online) free since my dh works for
time warner, and massive discounts on phone service too...otherwise, i'd not be
here discussing this. we go w/o a lot...portable cds for a family of 7 isn't
going to be a possibility right now...but its a good suggestion, indeed! and
i am thinking of other things we can do to make this easier for all
passengers...creativity is a bit dry right now, but i'm sure a situation will present
itself if i just keep looking! :)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
In case you haven't looked recently, you can get little MP3 players
very very inexpensively these days. Our library system even has them
to check out, already loaded with books.
-pam
very very inexpensively these days. Our library system even has them
to check out, already loaded with books.
-pam
On Sep 17, 2007, at 9:45 AM, Kidgie@... wrote:
> It's an excellent idea, though we also all talk a lot in the car,
> so it's
> not all that conducive to family discussions, lol...also, the $$
> for everyone
> with a portable cd player is not happening any time
> soon...so...patience, and
> heaps of it! :)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/17/2007 10:19:14 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
pamsoroosh@... writes:
In case you haven't looked recently, you can get little MP3 players
very very inexpensively these days. Our library system even has them
to check out, already loaded with books.
-pam
I'll have to look and see!
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pamsoroosh@... writes:
In case you haven't looked recently, you can get little MP3 players
very very inexpensively these days. Our library system even has them
to check out, already loaded with books.
-pam
I'll have to look and see!
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christy Mahoney
One question that I don't think has been asked - does your son have
other opportunities to listen to The Ramones besides in the car?
-Christy M.
other opportunities to listen to The Ramones besides in the car?
-Christy M.
Julie
Ok, the whole Ramones thread has me really thinking. When Caleb was that
age he went through the same thing of course, I think most kids do at
some time, but Caleb seemed to go through it for about 6 years straight.
He has always loved music from the time he was an infant, and there were
times when I could scream if I heard Allstar by Smashmouth ONE MORE
TIME! However, I knew he would eventually move on to something else, or
get a more widely varied taste in music. It happened in all due course,
but I think Caleb has a major issues with hyperfocusing in all aspects
of his life. This has made me wonder what may happen once he does get
out of PS and move into a unschooled environment.
If given his complete druthers over what to do during the day, it would
most definitely be playing video or computer games. At what age do you
try to prevent (if any) hyperfocusing on one thing? It kind of muddies
the waters a bit when the thing Caleb really wants to do with the rest
of his life is become a computer game programmer. It's all he wants to
do really. How do I go about helping him to balance computer/video game
playing time with learning time, and in this case is there a major
difference?
I kind of feel a bit hypocritical about this issue in a way, because due
to the manic depression, I tend to hyperfocus on things as well. When I
get the need to create, often times it becomes the only thing that is
important at the time. Dishwashing, laundry, or other non-essentials ;)
in life go out the window and I feel driven to see my idea come to
fruition. I know how getting hyperfocused can drain you of all other
needs, like eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom, and Caleb does
the same things when he gets interested in something. I will catch him
at 3 AM playing his gameboy under the covers, or at his computer. He has
even wet himself because he put off going to the bathroom during an
exiciting video game.
Would I be a complete hypocrite to not allow him to get some game out of
his system (like Julian and the Ramones) or is he old enough at 11/12 to
realize that there are other things in life? I know that eventually he
will get past that difficult level on that particular game, and will
then again be interested in doing other things, but until then even
things that he normally enjoys become burdens if it keeps him away from
the game, like say, eating supper, or going out hiking at the park. I
hate to say, it's ok for me because it is productive, but it's not for
Caleb because you don't get anything out of playing a video game. If
that is what he truly wants to do with his life, is that leisure time or
learning time?
Just a bit confused at how I should approach this with an older child.
Cheers,
Julie
age he went through the same thing of course, I think most kids do at
some time, but Caleb seemed to go through it for about 6 years straight.
He has always loved music from the time he was an infant, and there were
times when I could scream if I heard Allstar by Smashmouth ONE MORE
TIME! However, I knew he would eventually move on to something else, or
get a more widely varied taste in music. It happened in all due course,
but I think Caleb has a major issues with hyperfocusing in all aspects
of his life. This has made me wonder what may happen once he does get
out of PS and move into a unschooled environment.
If given his complete druthers over what to do during the day, it would
most definitely be playing video or computer games. At what age do you
try to prevent (if any) hyperfocusing on one thing? It kind of muddies
the waters a bit when the thing Caleb really wants to do with the rest
of his life is become a computer game programmer. It's all he wants to
do really. How do I go about helping him to balance computer/video game
playing time with learning time, and in this case is there a major
difference?
I kind of feel a bit hypocritical about this issue in a way, because due
to the manic depression, I tend to hyperfocus on things as well. When I
get the need to create, often times it becomes the only thing that is
important at the time. Dishwashing, laundry, or other non-essentials ;)
in life go out the window and I feel driven to see my idea come to
fruition. I know how getting hyperfocused can drain you of all other
needs, like eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom, and Caleb does
the same things when he gets interested in something. I will catch him
at 3 AM playing his gameboy under the covers, or at his computer. He has
even wet himself because he put off going to the bathroom during an
exiciting video game.
Would I be a complete hypocrite to not allow him to get some game out of
his system (like Julian and the Ramones) or is he old enough at 11/12 to
realize that there are other things in life? I know that eventually he
will get past that difficult level on that particular game, and will
then again be interested in doing other things, but until then even
things that he normally enjoys become burdens if it keeps him away from
the game, like say, eating supper, or going out hiking at the park. I
hate to say, it's ok for me because it is productive, but it's not for
Caleb because you don't get anything out of playing a video game. If
that is what he truly wants to do with his life, is that leisure time or
learning time?
Just a bit confused at how I should approach this with an older child.
Cheers,
Julie
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/17/2007 11:06:49 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
unschooling1@... writes:
One question that I don't think has been asked - does your son have
other opportunities to listen to The Ramones besides in the car?
-Christy M.
Good question...AND....HIS idea was to bring the cd inside, lol! Which may
help in sme ways, lol, but not in all ;) But yes, he asked after we talked
about it, if he could listen to it in the house, and I said "Sure!" :)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
unschooling1@... writes:
One question that I don't think has been asked - does your son have
other opportunities to listen to The Ramones besides in the car?
-Christy M.
Good question...AND....HIS idea was to bring the cd inside, lol! Which may
help in sme ways, lol, but not in all ;) But yes, he asked after we talked
about it, if he could listen to it in the house, and I said "Sure!" :)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~How do I go about helping him to balance computer/video game
playing time with learning time, and in this case is there a major
difference?~~
Not in our lives.
Could you explain what you mean by that? Anything a person is
interested in is "learning time".
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
playing time with learning time, and in this case is there a major
difference?~~
Not in our lives.
Could you explain what you mean by that? Anything a person is
interested in is "learning time".
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/17/2007 2:54:53 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
jsweevil2@... writes:
Would I be a complete hypocrite to not allow him to get some game out of
his system (like Julian and the Ramones) or is he old enough at 11/12 to
realize that there are other things in life? I know that eventually he
will get past that difficult level on that particular game, and will
then again be interested in doing other things, but until then even
things that he normally enjoys become burdens if it keeps him away from
the game, like say, eating supper, or going out hiking at the park. I
hate to say, it's ok for me because it is productive, but it's not for
Caleb because you don't get anything out of playing a video game. If
that is what he truly wants to do with his life, is that leisure time or
learning time?
_____________________________________________________________
My gut feeling, is that he needs what he does now because he needs to
deschool, decompress. It's still a commodity in a sense, even with your wonderful
relaxing-on - it way, he is still in school, and crossing in and out can be
hard on a kid, especially prepubescent ones. I think if you continue to offer
and show by doing other things in life, he'll get there in his time. And I
think he IS getting things out of his video games, just not things that you are
able to recognize. In time, you might, but if not, you can continue to respect
that he has a passion of it. He may become a writer and creator of new video
games ;) Ya never know... ;) Also, to help you ease into this, perhaps you
can show him other things within the context of his loves...say, a video game
about a subject that interests you...you can play it, with him, w/o him, and
it might open up a door for him. It's hard, and I just recently got myself
over that hurdle with specifically computer and video games. It took a lot of
mellowing on my part. But it's been worth it, toatll...
I mean, hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play! ;)
Giggleingly yours,
Karen
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jsweevil2@... writes:
Would I be a complete hypocrite to not allow him to get some game out of
his system (like Julian and the Ramones) or is he old enough at 11/12 to
realize that there are other things in life? I know that eventually he
will get past that difficult level on that particular game, and will
then again be interested in doing other things, but until then even
things that he normally enjoys become burdens if it keeps him away from
the game, like say, eating supper, or going out hiking at the park. I
hate to say, it's ok for me because it is productive, but it's not for
Caleb because you don't get anything out of playing a video game. If
that is what he truly wants to do with his life, is that leisure time or
learning time?
_____________________________________________________________
My gut feeling, is that he needs what he does now because he needs to
deschool, decompress. It's still a commodity in a sense, even with your wonderful
relaxing-on - it way, he is still in school, and crossing in and out can be
hard on a kid, especially prepubescent ones. I think if you continue to offer
and show by doing other things in life, he'll get there in his time. And I
think he IS getting things out of his video games, just not things that you are
able to recognize. In time, you might, but if not, you can continue to respect
that he has a passion of it. He may become a writer and creator of new video
games ;) Ya never know... ;) Also, to help you ease into this, perhaps you
can show him other things within the context of his loves...say, a video game
about a subject that interests you...you can play it, with him, w/o him, and
it might open up a door for him. It's hard, and I just recently got myself
over that hurdle with specifically computer and video games. It took a lot of
mellowing on my part. But it's been worth it, toatll...
I mean, hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play! ;)
Giggleingly yours,
Karen
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie
Well that's what I am trying to get my head around. To tell you the
truth, I have in the past tried to limit his video game time to keep him
from getting so obsessed over them. It's just since joining this and
other unschooling lists that it has hit me that maybe doing that is
entirely wrong.
I remember a time when I was in my early teens when I ended up staying
up all night long trying to teach myself how to draw horses. It was a
school night, and when my mother found out I had been up all night, she
was rather miffed at me. I tried to explain that I could catch up on the
sleep that I had lost, but had learned something important in the
process (how to draw horses).
For the first time I am realizing that video gaming is what is truly
important to my son. I'm having difficulty getting around all the
psychology experts saying it is an addiction, and harmful to kids...yada
yada yada. I wanted to be an artist when I grew up, art was important to
me, sleep wasn't. To my son, he was to program video games, so
therefore, learning to play video games well is important to him.
However, if it is something unhealthy (not eating, not using the
bathroom, not sleeping at all etc.) is there a point where it needs to
be limited, or would it be better to try and introduce him to some
programing software/classes/what have you to let him put that energy
into the "making" rather than only "Playing" videos games?
I think I am confusing myself here so I know I am probably confusing
everyone else as well. ;)
Let's use Julian's obsession with the Ramones as an example for a
moment. Is it bad for him to want to listen to the same thing over and
over and over again? No. What if he insisted in listening to it at full
volume with headphones on? That could be unhealthy to the ears right?
Cause permanent hearing loss etc. Somewhere, an obsession can become
unhealthy. If I just said Caleb, if it is important to you to play games
three days in a row with no sleep or food, go for it, would I be
allowing it to go too far? He has that ability to hyperfocus just that
much. Would it be wrong at his age to put limits on time spent playing
video games for his own protection, or would that be squashing his
interests?
I guess you'd have to be around a kid who has the capability of manic
episodes to understand. I know that sleep is important or can cause a
major crash later on. It can cause a complete lack of need for sleep,
food, or basic necessities. Completely unmedicated and on a manic high,
I can literally go days without food or sleep with little to no obvious
problems, but I pay for it afterwards with a major depression. The
higher you go, the harder you fall is pretty apt here. The same holds
true for Caleb as well.
I just never really thought about allowing him to play games until he
got over them before until I started reading this thread about Julian
and the Ramones. It made me think back to my own past experiences and
about the analogy of learning to Draw horses and how I was proud of what
I had accomplished, yet my mother was upset at me for not sleeping. It
made me take a step back and wonder if I am doing the same thing, even
unconsciously to Caleb, or if there should be some kind of dividing line
where I can tell him maybe we should put the games away for a while.
Make any sense?
Cheers,
Julie
truth, I have in the past tried to limit his video game time to keep him
from getting so obsessed over them. It's just since joining this and
other unschooling lists that it has hit me that maybe doing that is
entirely wrong.
I remember a time when I was in my early teens when I ended up staying
up all night long trying to teach myself how to draw horses. It was a
school night, and when my mother found out I had been up all night, she
was rather miffed at me. I tried to explain that I could catch up on the
sleep that I had lost, but had learned something important in the
process (how to draw horses).
For the first time I am realizing that video gaming is what is truly
important to my son. I'm having difficulty getting around all the
psychology experts saying it is an addiction, and harmful to kids...yada
yada yada. I wanted to be an artist when I grew up, art was important to
me, sleep wasn't. To my son, he was to program video games, so
therefore, learning to play video games well is important to him.
However, if it is something unhealthy (not eating, not using the
bathroom, not sleeping at all etc.) is there a point where it needs to
be limited, or would it be better to try and introduce him to some
programing software/classes/what have you to let him put that energy
into the "making" rather than only "Playing" videos games?
I think I am confusing myself here so I know I am probably confusing
everyone else as well. ;)
Let's use Julian's obsession with the Ramones as an example for a
moment. Is it bad for him to want to listen to the same thing over and
over and over again? No. What if he insisted in listening to it at full
volume with headphones on? That could be unhealthy to the ears right?
Cause permanent hearing loss etc. Somewhere, an obsession can become
unhealthy. If I just said Caleb, if it is important to you to play games
three days in a row with no sleep or food, go for it, would I be
allowing it to go too far? He has that ability to hyperfocus just that
much. Would it be wrong at his age to put limits on time spent playing
video games for his own protection, or would that be squashing his
interests?
I guess you'd have to be around a kid who has the capability of manic
episodes to understand. I know that sleep is important or can cause a
major crash later on. It can cause a complete lack of need for sleep,
food, or basic necessities. Completely unmedicated and on a manic high,
I can literally go days without food or sleep with little to no obvious
problems, but I pay for it afterwards with a major depression. The
higher you go, the harder you fall is pretty apt here. The same holds
true for Caleb as well.
I just never really thought about allowing him to play games until he
got over them before until I started reading this thread about Julian
and the Ramones. It made me think back to my own past experiences and
about the analogy of learning to Draw horses and how I was proud of what
I had accomplished, yet my mother was upset at me for not sleeping. It
made me take a step back and wonder if I am doing the same thing, even
unconsciously to Caleb, or if there should be some kind of dividing line
where I can tell him maybe we should put the games away for a while.
Make any sense?
Cheers,
Julie
> Not in our lives.
> Could you explain what you mean by that? Anything a person is
> interested in is "learning time".
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
Julie
OMG! All those years of listening to that song over and over again and I
never knew what that line said! lol No wonder he is a hard core gamer!
Thanks for that insight!
Actually that is exactly what he wants to do when he gets older, program
games, so that is what made me stop and wonder if putting limits on him
(that and the Ramones thread) made me stop and link it to my own
experiences growing up, wanting to be an artist.
I know that I have to be careful around video games myself. If I get
into one, I can't stop playing until I beat the game or just burn myself
out on it. Of course to me it has always been kind of mindless
entertainment, because it is not my chief love in life. But it just
dawned on me that this IS HIS chief love and inspiration in life along
with what he wants to do creatively.
I really appreciate this list for making me take a step back and
reassessing my views about it and looking at it outside the box so to speak.
Cheers,
Julie
never knew what that line said! lol No wonder he is a hard core gamer!
Thanks for that insight!
Actually that is exactly what he wants to do when he gets older, program
games, so that is what made me stop and wonder if putting limits on him
(that and the Ramones thread) made me stop and link it to my own
experiences growing up, wanting to be an artist.
I know that I have to be careful around video games myself. If I get
into one, I can't stop playing until I beat the game or just burn myself
out on it. Of course to me it has always been kind of mindless
entertainment, because it is not my chief love in life. But it just
dawned on me that this IS HIS chief love and inspiration in life along
with what he wants to do creatively.
I really appreciate this list for making me take a step back and
reassessing my views about it and looking at it outside the box so to speak.
Cheers,
Julie
> My gut feeling, is that he needs what he does now because he needs to
> deschool, decompress. It's still a commodity in a sense, even with your wonderful
> relaxing-on - it way, he is still in school, and crossing in and out can be
> hard on a kid, especially prepubescent ones. I think if you continue to offer
> and show by doing other things in life, he'll get there in his time. And I
> think he IS getting things out of his video games, just not things that you are
> able to recognize. In time, you might, but if not, you can continue to respect
> that he has a passion of it. He may become a writer and creator of new video
> games ;) Ya never know... ;) Also, to help you ease into this, perhaps you
> can show him other things within the context of his loves...say, a video game
> about a subject that interests you...you can play it, with him, w/o him, and
> it might open up a door for him. It's hard, and I just recently got myself
> over that hurdle with specifically computer and video games. It took a lot of
> mellowing on my part. But it's been worth it, toatll...
>
> I mean, hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play! ;)
>
> Giggleingly yours,
> Karen
marji
At 18:58 9/17/2007, you wrote:
when you wrote this, but if not, don't give the song that much
credit. Your son is who he is. (If you were tongue-in-cheek,
though, please ignore the above!!) :-)
periodically that my son is NOT me. We have a lot in common, it's
true, but he is his own person and does many things differently than
I do and for different reasons. I remind myself that I am holding a
space for Liam to become the best *Liam* he can be, *not* the best
Marji (I've already got dibs on being the best Marji!!). ;-)
It has also been helpful for me to remember that unschooling is all
about trust and providing my son with what he needs. Sometimes I
have to divine what he needs, but most of the time, he just tells
me. This path is Liam's path, and I see my role here as helping him
be on it. Whatever he needs, I do my best to get for him.
Also, I trust that Liam trusts me. So, if, to use your example,
there's a danger of him overdriving his ear buds and damaging his
hearing by playing the music too loudly, I very gently and politely
tug his coat (as I would anyone who I thought needed the information)
and inform him of the dangers. He understands that I trust him
enough to understand me and my intentions and he is always
appreciative for the helpful information. I give him the information
he needs and trust that he will act on it as he sees fit. In some
areas, he needs to learn for himself. I totally respect
that! Sometimes, I'm ::gasp:: wrong!!
If it were me, I would do my best to try to shift away from seeing
him as "hyperfocusing." I'd do my best to support him (by bringing
him food to eat if I think he's been going without for too long or
gently reminding him that he may want to pause and use the
bathroom). I'd do my best to make sure he has all the tools he needs
to fully immerse himself in his passion. I'd be his partner in the immersion.
I hope this is helpful!
~Marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>OMG! All those years of listening to that song over and over again and IHi, Julie! I can't tell for sure if you're tongue was in your cheek
>never knew what that line said! lol No wonder he is a hard core gamer!
>Thanks for that insight!
when you wrote this, but if not, don't give the song that much
credit. Your son is who he is. (If you were tongue-in-cheek,
though, please ignore the above!!) :-)
>But it just dawned on me that this IS HIS chief love and inspirationCool! I have found it to be really helpful to remind myself
>in life along with what he wants to do creatively.
periodically that my son is NOT me. We have a lot in common, it's
true, but he is his own person and does many things differently than
I do and for different reasons. I remind myself that I am holding a
space for Liam to become the best *Liam* he can be, *not* the best
Marji (I've already got dibs on being the best Marji!!). ;-)
It has also been helpful for me to remember that unschooling is all
about trust and providing my son with what he needs. Sometimes I
have to divine what he needs, but most of the time, he just tells
me. This path is Liam's path, and I see my role here as helping him
be on it. Whatever he needs, I do my best to get for him.
Also, I trust that Liam trusts me. So, if, to use your example,
there's a danger of him overdriving his ear buds and damaging his
hearing by playing the music too loudly, I very gently and politely
tug his coat (as I would anyone who I thought needed the information)
and inform him of the dangers. He understands that I trust him
enough to understand me and my intentions and he is always
appreciative for the helpful information. I give him the information
he needs and trust that he will act on it as he sees fit. In some
areas, he needs to learn for himself. I totally respect
that! Sometimes, I'm ::gasp:: wrong!!
If it were me, I would do my best to try to shift away from seeing
him as "hyperfocusing." I'd do my best to support him (by bringing
him food to eat if I think he's been going without for too long or
gently reminding him that he may want to pause and use the
bathroom). I'd do my best to make sure he has all the tools he needs
to fully immerse himself in his passion. I'd be his partner in the immersion.
I hope this is helpful!
~Marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]