New to groups
Julie
Hi all, Just wanted to introduce myself and maybe get a bit of input
about my situation. I have a son who is 11 years old and is currently
enrolled in public school. He is having a lot of difficulty in both
academics and in the social life there. I'm not new to homeschooling as
I homeschooled my daughter for three years between 6th and 9th grades. I
took her out for the same reason I am thinking about taking my son out,
bullying by other students, and low academics, not because they can't
excel, but because the constant pressures of other kids in the school
causes them to hate the whole school experience.
My daughter was bullied constantly, and had low scores because she
couldn't concentrate. Both of my kids aren't the athletic, popular
types, they both tend to march to the beat of a different drummer due to
bipolar disorder, and tend to get singled out by other kids in the
school environment. I had zero cooperation from the school system back
then with my daughter because their whole attitude was you had to let
kids work things like that out amongst themselves. Since Columbine,
attitudes have changed and my son's school has been quicker to stop the
harassment, but have not put an end to it. Other kids know my son is
quick to come to tears and seem to like to try their best to push his
buttons. His grades have been falling steadily over the past few years
due to this. He had an IQ test early on and he is brilliant, like my
daughter, but can't get past the reams of homework on his bad days, and
is constantly in turmoil due to the bipolar disorder and environment at
school. He is getting more depressed and I feel like the school system
is just making his symptoms worse.
I allowed my daughter to be in charge of whether or not she was
homeschooled and eventually she decided she wanted to go back and I
honored that choice. She went back much better able to do the school
work and much better able to handle things other kids threw at her. She
is now 25 and attending a community college.
I kind of unschooled my daughter for the years I had her at home, in
that I didn't have a super structured curriculum, but would really
prefer to unschool my son completely. I'm just wondering if there are
others out there who have gone from years of structured public schooling
to unschooling and how hard was it to make the switch? Should I expect
my son to go through a period of not wanting to do anything at all, or
should I try and just do things that pique his interest and let it go
from there?
Another question for anyone out there who went from public schools to
unschooling is, should I wait until the beginning of a school year to do
it, or just yank him out in the middle of a year? With my daughter, we
started at the beginning of a new school year, so there were no problems
really, other than some nasty comments from the principal of the school
she was supposed to be going to. I work seasonally, so can't really take
him out just yet, due to not having anyone to be here at home with him.
My work ends in November though, so I would be able to do it at that
time, then make arrangements by next summer before work picks up again.
At this point it really is a matter of his mental health that is so much
of an issue. I don't know if he can handle this kind of stress much
longer. I have talked with him openly of course, and want it to be his
decision like it was with my daughter to stay or leave the PS system and
he is all ready to give it a whirl, but I'm just not sure if I should go
the unschooled route or the more structured route.
Thanks for listening if nothing else!
Cheers,
Julie
about my situation. I have a son who is 11 years old and is currently
enrolled in public school. He is having a lot of difficulty in both
academics and in the social life there. I'm not new to homeschooling as
I homeschooled my daughter for three years between 6th and 9th grades. I
took her out for the same reason I am thinking about taking my son out,
bullying by other students, and low academics, not because they can't
excel, but because the constant pressures of other kids in the school
causes them to hate the whole school experience.
My daughter was bullied constantly, and had low scores because she
couldn't concentrate. Both of my kids aren't the athletic, popular
types, they both tend to march to the beat of a different drummer due to
bipolar disorder, and tend to get singled out by other kids in the
school environment. I had zero cooperation from the school system back
then with my daughter because their whole attitude was you had to let
kids work things like that out amongst themselves. Since Columbine,
attitudes have changed and my son's school has been quicker to stop the
harassment, but have not put an end to it. Other kids know my son is
quick to come to tears and seem to like to try their best to push his
buttons. His grades have been falling steadily over the past few years
due to this. He had an IQ test early on and he is brilliant, like my
daughter, but can't get past the reams of homework on his bad days, and
is constantly in turmoil due to the bipolar disorder and environment at
school. He is getting more depressed and I feel like the school system
is just making his symptoms worse.
I allowed my daughter to be in charge of whether or not she was
homeschooled and eventually she decided she wanted to go back and I
honored that choice. She went back much better able to do the school
work and much better able to handle things other kids threw at her. She
is now 25 and attending a community college.
I kind of unschooled my daughter for the years I had her at home, in
that I didn't have a super structured curriculum, but would really
prefer to unschool my son completely. I'm just wondering if there are
others out there who have gone from years of structured public schooling
to unschooling and how hard was it to make the switch? Should I expect
my son to go through a period of not wanting to do anything at all, or
should I try and just do things that pique his interest and let it go
from there?
Another question for anyone out there who went from public schools to
unschooling is, should I wait until the beginning of a school year to do
it, or just yank him out in the middle of a year? With my daughter, we
started at the beginning of a new school year, so there were no problems
really, other than some nasty comments from the principal of the school
she was supposed to be going to. I work seasonally, so can't really take
him out just yet, due to not having anyone to be here at home with him.
My work ends in November though, so I would be able to do it at that
time, then make arrangements by next summer before work picks up again.
At this point it really is a matter of his mental health that is so much
of an issue. I don't know if he can handle this kind of stress much
longer. I have talked with him openly of course, and want it to be his
decision like it was with my daughter to stay or leave the PS system and
he is all ready to give it a whirl, but I'm just not sure if I should go
the unschooled route or the more structured route.
Thanks for listening if nothing else!
Cheers,
Julie
Schafer Vanessa
Hi Julie,
My name is Vanessa, and I am in my second year of
homeschooling/unschooling.
My son, had the same problems as your children, accept
he isn't bipolar. Although his grades didn't suffer,
he was always bullied. Like you, we tried going
through all of the channels to get these problems
taken care of, and nothing worked. He only liked art,
and only liked gym, because of the teacher.
My son isn't athletic, and had few friends. His best
friend, moved right during Easter break, so he lost
his last friend then. He had been an "easy" target,
because he is a big kid, and at 11, he's almost as
tall as I am.(and I am 5'9") He was always the smart
kid. The school thought he needed help, so we agreed
to have his speech tested. When he was tested, he
tested above his age, on most of them way above his
age. He was also labeled as someone with high anxiety
disorder (which I don't believe.)
I wanted to pull him out before school ended, but
hubby wanted both kids to finish out the year. My
daughter was also bullied, but not to the same extent.
They say hind sight is 20/20, and looking back now, I
wish I would've pulled them out when I wanted to.
I've been through the depression (if that's what it's
called) with him. One summer he told my
parents--what's the point in going on. He was in
second grade then. He had a really good teacher in
3rd grade, but the bullying continued, and nothing was
done about it. By the time he hit fourth grade, it
was a nightmare.
I wouldn't wait. I would pull your son out of public
school, when it is possible for you. We went from
public school to unschooling right away. We did
deschool, and sometimes I feel that we still are.
There is still alot of anger in me and my children,
although it has lessened some. Unschooling is so
awesome for us. We are able to do alot of things that
you just don't get in public schools. It's about
living life, and learning from those experiences. We
haven't done anything schooly. We have touched on the
subjects that my kids talk about, and we learn
together. We chose unschooling, because it is what
fits our family the best. It's taken some time to get
used to it, but I enjoy my kids, and love the things
that they are interested in.
Public school messed with them alot. We have battled
with the principal and the teachers so many times, and
even had the principal lie to me, right to my face.
We didn't feel comfortable leaving the kids in a place
where they couldn't trust the teachers, and we
couldn't trust the principal. Now that we have been
doing this for a year, it is so amazing the changes we
see in our kids. They are more relaxed and happier,
and they are starting to get their self-confidence
back. It has changed them so much for the better.
Hope this helps some. Enjoy the time you can spend
with your son, and pull him out as soon as you can.
It really makes a difference, and you'll be glad you
did.
Good luck!!
--- Julie <jsweevil2@...> wrote:
____________________________________________________________________________________
Take the Internet to Go: Yahoo!Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more.
http://mobile.yahoo.com/go?refer=1GNXIC
My name is Vanessa, and I am in my second year of
homeschooling/unschooling.
My son, had the same problems as your children, accept
he isn't bipolar. Although his grades didn't suffer,
he was always bullied. Like you, we tried going
through all of the channels to get these problems
taken care of, and nothing worked. He only liked art,
and only liked gym, because of the teacher.
My son isn't athletic, and had few friends. His best
friend, moved right during Easter break, so he lost
his last friend then. He had been an "easy" target,
because he is a big kid, and at 11, he's almost as
tall as I am.(and I am 5'9") He was always the smart
kid. The school thought he needed help, so we agreed
to have his speech tested. When he was tested, he
tested above his age, on most of them way above his
age. He was also labeled as someone with high anxiety
disorder (which I don't believe.)
I wanted to pull him out before school ended, but
hubby wanted both kids to finish out the year. My
daughter was also bullied, but not to the same extent.
They say hind sight is 20/20, and looking back now, I
wish I would've pulled them out when I wanted to.
I've been through the depression (if that's what it's
called) with him. One summer he told my
parents--what's the point in going on. He was in
second grade then. He had a really good teacher in
3rd grade, but the bullying continued, and nothing was
done about it. By the time he hit fourth grade, it
was a nightmare.
I wouldn't wait. I would pull your son out of public
school, when it is possible for you. We went from
public school to unschooling right away. We did
deschool, and sometimes I feel that we still are.
There is still alot of anger in me and my children,
although it has lessened some. Unschooling is so
awesome for us. We are able to do alot of things that
you just don't get in public schools. It's about
living life, and learning from those experiences. We
haven't done anything schooly. We have touched on the
subjects that my kids talk about, and we learn
together. We chose unschooling, because it is what
fits our family the best. It's taken some time to get
used to it, but I enjoy my kids, and love the things
that they are interested in.
Public school messed with them alot. We have battled
with the principal and the teachers so many times, and
even had the principal lie to me, right to my face.
We didn't feel comfortable leaving the kids in a place
where they couldn't trust the teachers, and we
couldn't trust the principal. Now that we have been
doing this for a year, it is so amazing the changes we
see in our kids. They are more relaxed and happier,
and they are starting to get their self-confidence
back. It has changed them so much for the better.
Hope this helps some. Enjoy the time you can spend
with your son, and pull him out as soon as you can.
It really makes a difference, and you'll be glad you
did.
Good luck!!
--- Julie <jsweevil2@...> wrote:
> Hi all, Just wanted to introduce myself and maybeVanessa
> get a bit of input
> about my situation. I have a son who is 11 years old
> and is currently
> enrolled in public school. He is having a lot of
> difficulty in both
> academics and in the social life there. I'm not new
> to homeschooling as
> I homeschooled my daughter for three years between
> 6th and 9th grades. I
> took her out for the same reason I am thinking about
> taking my son out,
> bullying by other students, and low academics, not
> because they can't
> excel, but because the constant pressures of other
> kids in the school
> causes them to hate the whole school experience.
>
> My daughter was bullied constantly, and had low
> scores because she
> couldn't concentrate. Both of my kids aren't the
> athletic, popular
> types, they both tend to march to the beat of a
> different drummer due to
> bipolar disorder, and tend to get singled out by
> other kids in the
> school environment. I had zero cooperation from the
> school system back
> then with my daughter because their whole attitude
> was you had to let
> kids work things like that out amongst themselves.
> Since Columbine,
> attitudes have changed and my son's school has been
> quicker to stop the
> harassment, but have not put an end to it. Other
> kids know my son is
> quick to come to tears and seem to like to try their
> best to push his
> buttons. His grades have been falling steadily over
> the past few years
> due to this. He had an IQ test early on and he is
> brilliant, like my
> daughter, but can't get past the reams of homework
> on his bad days, and
> is constantly in turmoil due to the bipolar disorder
> and environment at
> school. He is getting more depressed and I feel like
> the school system
> is just making his symptoms worse.
>
> I allowed my daughter to be in charge of whether or
> not she was
> homeschooled and eventually she decided she wanted
> to go back and I
> honored that choice. She went back much better able
> to do the school
> work and much better able to handle things other
> kids threw at her. She
> is now 25 and attending a community college.
>
> I kind of unschooled my daughter for the years I had
> her at home, in
> that I didn't have a super structured curriculum,
> but would really
> prefer to unschool my son completely. I'm just
> wondering if there are
> others out there who have gone from years of
> structured public schooling
> to unschooling and how hard was it to make the
> switch? Should I expect
> my son to go through a period of not wanting to do
> anything at all, or
> should I try and just do things that pique his
> interest and let it go
> from there?
>
> Another question for anyone out there who went from
> public schools to
> unschooling is, should I wait until the beginning of
> a school year to do
> it, or just yank him out in the middle of a year?
> With my daughter, we
> started at the beginning of a new school year, so
> there were no problems
> really, other than some nasty comments from the
> principal of the school
> she was supposed to be going to. I work seasonally,
> so can't really take
> him out just yet, due to not having anyone to be
> here at home with him.
> My work ends in November though, so I would be able
> to do it at that
> time, then make arrangements by next summer before
> work picks up again.
>
> At this point it really is a matter of his mental
> health that is so much
> of an issue. I don't know if he can handle this kind
> of stress much
> longer. I have talked with him openly of course, and
> want it to be his
> decision like it was with my daughter to stay or
> leave the PS system and
> he is all ready to give it a whirl, but I'm just not
> sure if I should go
> the unschooled route or the more structured route.
>
> Thanks for listening if nothing else!
>
> Cheers,
> Julie
>
>
____________________________________________________________________________________
Take the Internet to Go: Yahoo!Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more.
http://mobile.yahoo.com/go?refer=1GNXIC
Julie
Thanks for the input Vanessa! I think I am going to go ahead and take
him out after the Christmas holidays. That way it should give me enough
time to get up with the state and meet the requirements for
homeschooling, plus by that time work will be over and I won't have that
causing problems. I definitely won't wait till the end of the school
year, it's just getting really bad for him mentally staying in school.
If I can get my ducks in order I may even do it after the Thanksgiving
holiday break.
I was actually shocked and amazed at some of the reactions I have gotten
from family members over this. I was expecting some friction from some,
just because of the whole homeschooling thing, not to even mention
unschooling, but I have been pleasantly surprised. My husband was quick
to agree to taking him out of school, knowing what kind of difficulties
he has been having lately. The biggest surprise was my sister though.
She is normally a bit less open minded, yet when I started talking to
her about his troubles, she actually brought it up; "Maybe you should
homeschool him". She balked a bit when I took my daughter out of school
years ago, but this time she really has been very supportive, and
although she was a bit skeptical about the unschooling idea at first
this time, she really seemed to see the point of it after a bit of
discussion.
It will be extremely nice this go around having it being a bit more
accepted by close family members and friends than it was back in the
early 90s when I did it before. Glad to see it has become more
mainstream these days and more generally acceptable than it was at that
time!
Cheers,
Julie
Schafer Vanessa wrote:
him out after the Christmas holidays. That way it should give me enough
time to get up with the state and meet the requirements for
homeschooling, plus by that time work will be over and I won't have that
causing problems. I definitely won't wait till the end of the school
year, it's just getting really bad for him mentally staying in school.
If I can get my ducks in order I may even do it after the Thanksgiving
holiday break.
I was actually shocked and amazed at some of the reactions I have gotten
from family members over this. I was expecting some friction from some,
just because of the whole homeschooling thing, not to even mention
unschooling, but I have been pleasantly surprised. My husband was quick
to agree to taking him out of school, knowing what kind of difficulties
he has been having lately. The biggest surprise was my sister though.
She is normally a bit less open minded, yet when I started talking to
her about his troubles, she actually brought it up; "Maybe you should
homeschool him". She balked a bit when I took my daughter out of school
years ago, but this time she really has been very supportive, and
although she was a bit skeptical about the unschooling idea at first
this time, she really seemed to see the point of it after a bit of
discussion.
It will be extremely nice this go around having it being a bit more
accepted by close family members and friends than it was back in the
early 90s when I did it before. Glad to see it has become more
mainstream these days and more generally acceptable than it was at that
time!
Cheers,
Julie
Schafer Vanessa wrote:
> Hi Julie,
>
> My name is Vanessa, and I am in my second year of
> homeschooling/unschooling.
>
> My son, had the same problems as your children, accept
> he isn't bipolar. Although his grades didn't suffer,
> he was always bullied. Like you, we tried going
> through all of the channels to get these problems
> taken care of, and nothing worked. He only liked art,
> and only liked gym, because of the teacher.
>
> My son isn't athletic, and had few friends. His best
> friend, moved right during Easter break, so he lost
> his last friend then. He had been an "easy" target,
> because he is a big kid, and at 11, he's almost as
> tall as I am.(and I am 5'9") He was always the smart
> kid. The school thought he needed help, so we agreed
> to have his speech tested. When he was tested, he
> tested above his age, on most of them way above his
> age. He was also labeled as someone with high anxiety
> disorder (which I don't believe.)
>
> I wanted to pull him out before school ended, but
> hubby wanted both kids to finish out the year. My
> daughter was also bullied, but not to the same extent.
>
> They say hind sight is 20/20, and looking back now, I
> wish I would've pulled them out when I wanted to.
> I've been through the depression (if that's what it's
> called) with him. One summer he told my
> parents--what's the point in going on. He was in
> second grade then. He had a really good teacher in
> 3rd grade, but the bullying continued, and nothing was
> done about it. By the time he hit fourth grade, it
> was a nightmare.
>
> I wouldn't wait. I would pull your son out of public
> school, when it is possible for you. We went from
> public school to unschooling right away. We did
> deschool, and sometimes I feel that we still are.
> There is still alot of anger in me and my children,
> although it has lessened some. Unschooling is so
> awesome for us. We are able to do alot of things that
> you just don't get in public schools. It's about
> living life, and learning from those experiences. We
> haven't done anything schooly. We have touched on the
> subjects that my kids talk about, and we learn
> together. We chose unschooling, because it is what
> fits our family the best. It's taken some time to get
> used to it, but I enjoy my kids, and love the things
> that they are interested in.
>
> Public school messed with them alot. We have battled
> with the principal and the teachers so many times, and
> even had the principal lie to me, right to my face.
> We didn't feel comfortable leaving the kids in a place
> where they couldn't trust the teachers, and we
> couldn't trust the principal. Now that we have been
> doing this for a year, it is so amazing the changes we
> see in our kids. They are more relaxed and happier,
> and they are starting to get their self-confidence
> back. It has changed them so much for the better.
>
> Hope this helps some. Enjoy the time you can spend
> with your son, and pull him out as soon as you can.
> It really makes a difference, and you'll be glad you
> did.
>
> Good luck!!
>
>
> --- Julie <jsweevil2@...> wrote:
>
>> Hi all, Just wanted to introduce myself and maybe
>> get a bit of input
>> about my situation. I have a son who is 11 years old
>> and is currently
>> enrolled in public school. He is having a lot of
>> difficulty in both
>> academics and in the social life there. I'm not new
>> to homeschooling as
>> I homeschooled my daughter for three years between
>> 6th and 9th grades. I
>> took her out for the same reason I am thinking about
>> taking my son out,
>> bullying by other students, and low academics, not
>> because they can't
>> excel, but because the constant pressures of other
>> kids in the school
>> causes them to hate the whole school experience.
>>
>> My daughter was bullied constantly, and had low
>> scores because she
>> couldn't concentrate. Both of my kids aren't the
>> athletic, popular
>> types, they both tend to march to the beat of a
>> different drummer due to
>> bipolar disorder, and tend to get singled out by
>> other kids in the
>> school environment. I had zero cooperation from the
>> school system back
>> then with my daughter because their whole attitude
>> was you had to let
>> kids work things like that out amongst themselves.
>> Since Columbine,
>> attitudes have changed and my son's school has been
>> quicker to stop the
>> harassment, but have not put an end to it. Other
>> kids know my son is
>> quick to come to tears and seem to like to try their
>> best to push his
>> buttons. His grades have been falling steadily over
>> the past few years
>> due to this. He had an IQ test early on and he is
>> brilliant, like my
>> daughter, but can't get past the reams of homework
>> on his bad days, and
>> is constantly in turmoil due to the bipolar disorder
>> and environment at
>> school. He is getting more depressed and I feel like
>> the school system
>> is just making his symptoms worse.
>>
>> I allowed my daughter to be in charge of whether or
>> not she was
>> homeschooled and eventually she decided she wanted
>> to go back and I
>> honored that choice. She went back much better able
>> to do the school
>> work and much better able to handle things other
>> kids threw at her. She
>> is now 25 and attending a community college.
>>
>> I kind of unschooled my daughter for the years I had
>> her at home, in
>> that I didn't have a super structured curriculum,
>> but would really
>> prefer to unschool my son completely. I'm just
>> wondering if there are
>> others out there who have gone from years of
>> structured public schooling
>> to unschooling and how hard was it to make the
>> switch? Should I expect
>> my son to go through a period of not wanting to do
>> anything at all, or
>> should I try and just do things that pique his
>> interest and let it go
>> from there?
>>
>> Another question for anyone out there who went from
>> public schools to
>> unschooling is, should I wait until the beginning of
>> a school year to do
>> it, or just yank him out in the middle of a year?
>> With my daughter, we
>> started at the beginning of a new school year, so
>> there were no problems
>> really, other than some nasty comments from the
>> principal of the school
>> she was supposed to be going to. I work seasonally,
>> so can't really take
>> him out just yet, due to not having anyone to be
>> here at home with him.
>> My work ends in November though, so I would be able
>> to do it at that
>> time, then make arrangements by next summer before
>> work picks up again.
>>
>> At this point it really is a matter of his mental
>> health that is so much
>> of an issue. I don't know if he can handle this kind
>> of stress much
>> longer. I have talked with him openly of course, and
>> want it to be his
>> decision like it was with my daughter to stay or
>> leave the PS system and
>> he is all ready to give it a whirl, but I'm just not
>> sure if I should go
>> the unschooled route or the more structured route.
>>
>> Thanks for listening if nothing else!
>>
>> Cheers,
>> Julie
>>
>>
>
>
> Vanessa
>
>
>
>
> ____________________________________________________________________________________
> Take the Internet to Go: Yahoo!Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more.
> http://mobile.yahoo.com/go?refer=1GNXIC
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
vegnmama
Hi, Julie,
We have been basically unschooling our son since last March- we took
him out of 4th grade. It was a short school week; they only had
school Monday-Wednesday that week, as there was a 4-day weekend after
that. I chose this time to take him out for a few reasons:
1) Although we planned to start homeschooling at the beginning of the
school year, he wanted to be on the 4th grade basketball team with
his friends, and he had to attend school to do that.
2) We had just attended a homeschooling conference that really got me
pumped up to start asap! My husband wasn't thrilled, but I knew I'd
feel that way once we got home from the conference.
3) The 4-day weekend was the earliest "easy out" I could get. It went
rather smoothly, since he was out of school the 4 days, as the rest
of the school was, and then he just didn't go back.
4) He was begging me to do it asap, and didn't want to wait until the
end of the school year. I had to side with him on this, even though
my husband wanted to wait. I didn't see much good in making him go to
school a few more months when we were going to be 'deschooling' soon,
anyway.
5) Homework was getting to be unbearable, and the more we thought
about homeschooling, the less he wanted to do the work, and the less
I wanted to 'make' him get it done...
We just wanted to get on with our REAL LIVES!
I wanted to unschool from the start. Since we were in the process
of 'de-schooling', it was basically unschooling. In the first few
weeks, my son built a wooden catapult, and a rope ladder to climb a
tree in our yard. He was so excited to have the time to do the things
he really liked to do, but didn't have time while in school.
As time went on, my husband started worrying... out loud... that our
son was not learning anything, and so we bought a couple of workbooks
that we did maybe 2 pages of, and that was that.
At the start of this school year, I announced that this was the 1st
school year that we weren't enrolling him in school! It was nice.
My son asked for some sort of curriculum, and although I was
surprised, this is unschooling- child-led, so I got him a book from
the book store, "Complete 5th grade Curriculum". I was a bit
skeptical, but he enjoys occasionally working on pages- especially
math!
I also purchased a placemat with the periodic table of elements on
it, since he said he wanted to learn about that.
We don't make him work in the workbook; he just does it when he's
interested. He said he wants to finish it by the end of the school
year.
That's fine with me! As long as he is comfortable with it- he is
setting his own goals, and that is so much better than what we were
dealing with at school before he left.
I definately recommend leaving school as soon as possible, as long as
that works with the rest of your life. I don't think there is any
perfect time (other that NOW, or YESTERDAY!.. LAST YEAR!).
But I do feel that the less mental stress your child has, the better,
and if that means leaving school now, then that sounds about right to
me.
We have been basically unschooling our son since last March- we took
him out of 4th grade. It was a short school week; they only had
school Monday-Wednesday that week, as there was a 4-day weekend after
that. I chose this time to take him out for a few reasons:
1) Although we planned to start homeschooling at the beginning of the
school year, he wanted to be on the 4th grade basketball team with
his friends, and he had to attend school to do that.
2) We had just attended a homeschooling conference that really got me
pumped up to start asap! My husband wasn't thrilled, but I knew I'd
feel that way once we got home from the conference.
3) The 4-day weekend was the earliest "easy out" I could get. It went
rather smoothly, since he was out of school the 4 days, as the rest
of the school was, and then he just didn't go back.
4) He was begging me to do it asap, and didn't want to wait until the
end of the school year. I had to side with him on this, even though
my husband wanted to wait. I didn't see much good in making him go to
school a few more months when we were going to be 'deschooling' soon,
anyway.
5) Homework was getting to be unbearable, and the more we thought
about homeschooling, the less he wanted to do the work, and the less
I wanted to 'make' him get it done...
We just wanted to get on with our REAL LIVES!
I wanted to unschool from the start. Since we were in the process
of 'de-schooling', it was basically unschooling. In the first few
weeks, my son built a wooden catapult, and a rope ladder to climb a
tree in our yard. He was so excited to have the time to do the things
he really liked to do, but didn't have time while in school.
As time went on, my husband started worrying... out loud... that our
son was not learning anything, and so we bought a couple of workbooks
that we did maybe 2 pages of, and that was that.
At the start of this school year, I announced that this was the 1st
school year that we weren't enrolling him in school! It was nice.
My son asked for some sort of curriculum, and although I was
surprised, this is unschooling- child-led, so I got him a book from
the book store, "Complete 5th grade Curriculum". I was a bit
skeptical, but he enjoys occasionally working on pages- especially
math!
I also purchased a placemat with the periodic table of elements on
it, since he said he wanted to learn about that.
We don't make him work in the workbook; he just does it when he's
interested. He said he wants to finish it by the end of the school
year.
That's fine with me! As long as he is comfortable with it- he is
setting his own goals, and that is so much better than what we were
dealing with at school before he left.
I definately recommend leaving school as soon as possible, as long as
that works with the rest of your life. I don't think there is any
perfect time (other that NOW, or YESTERDAY!.. LAST YEAR!).
But I do feel that the less mental stress your child has, the better,
and if that means leaving school now, then that sounds about right to
me.
--- In [email protected], Julie <jsweevil2@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all, Just wanted to introduce myself and maybe get a bit of
input
> about my situation. I have a son who is 11 years old and is
currently
> enrolled in public school. He is having a lot of difficulty in both
> academics and in the social life there. I'm not new to
homeschooling as
> I homeschooled my daughter for three years between 6th and 9th
grades. I
> took her out for the same reason I am thinking about taking my son
out,
> bullying by other students, and low academics, not because they
can't
> excel, but because the constant pressures of other kids in the
school
> causes them to hate the whole school experience.
>
> My daughter was bullied constantly, and had low scores because she
> couldn't concentrate. Both of my kids aren't the athletic, popular
> types, they both tend to march to the beat of a different drummer
due to
> bipolar disorder, and tend to get singled out by other kids in the
> school environment. I had zero cooperation from the school system
back
> then with my daughter because their whole attitude was you had to
let
> kids work things like that out amongst themselves. Since Columbine,
> attitudes have changed and my son's school has been quicker to stop
the
> harassment, but have not put an end to it. Other kids know my son
is
> quick to come to tears and seem to like to try their best to push
his
> buttons. His grades have been falling steadily over the past few
years
> due to this. He had an IQ test early on and he is brilliant, like
my
> daughter, but can't get past the reams of homework on his bad days,
and
> is constantly in turmoil due to the bipolar disorder and
environment at
> school. He is getting more depressed and I feel like the school
system
> is just making his symptoms worse.
>
> I allowed my daughter to be in charge of whether or not she was
> homeschooled and eventually she decided she wanted to go back and I
> honored that choice. She went back much better able to do the
school
> work and much better able to handle things other kids threw at her.
She
> is now 25 and attending a community college.
>
> I kind of unschooled my daughter for the years I had her at home,
in
> that I didn't have a super structured curriculum, but would really
> prefer to unschool my son completely. I'm just wondering if there
are
> others out there who have gone from years of structured public
schooling
> to unschooling and how hard was it to make the switch? Should I
expect
> my son to go through a period of not wanting to do anything at all,
or
> should I try and just do things that pique his interest and let it
go
> from there?
>
> Another question for anyone out there who went from public schools
to
> unschooling is, should I wait until the beginning of a school year
to do
> it, or just yank him out in the middle of a year? With my daughter,
we
> started at the beginning of a new school year, so there were no
problems
> really, other than some nasty comments from the principal of the
school
> she was supposed to be going to. I work seasonally, so can't really
take
> him out just yet, due to not having anyone to be here at home with
him.
> My work ends in November though, so I would be able to do it at
that
> time, then make arrangements by next summer before work picks up
again.
>
> At this point it really is a matter of his mental health that is so
much
> of an issue. I don't know if he can handle this kind of stress much
> longer. I have talked with him openly of course, and want it to be
his
> decision like it was with my daughter to stay or leave the PS
system and
> he is all ready to give it a whirl, but I'm just not sure if I
should go
> the unschooled route or the more structured route.
>
> Thanks for listening if nothing else!
>
> Cheers,
> Julie
>
Ren Allen
~~I think I am going to go ahead and take
him out after the Christmas holidays. That way it should give me
enough time to get up with the state and meet the requirements for
homeschooling, plus by that time work will be over and I won't have
that causing problems. ~~
I'm going to be really blunt here. Just picture me as a good friend
sitting and having tea with you and discussing unschooling.:)
You're aiding and abetting the damage of school. You are part of the
hurt he's experiencing in his life right now. It is your job to be his
advocate and get him OUT of that environment as soon as possible.
There is no need to meet state requirements first. Get him OUT first,
then worry about the legalities.
Take him to work with you or find a friend for him to hang out with.
I'm being so blunt here because I screwed this one up myself! I have
nothing but regret for making my child finish the school year (I
realize you aren't doing this, but any day spent in torture is one day
too many) in kindergarten and he still remembers the stress quite clearly.
It is undermining your relationship with him to make him go somewhere
he doesn't want to be. Unschooling is hugely about relationships and
trust. He needs an adult he can trust to protect his spirit right now.
Please, please, please get him out of there right now. It's crushing
his soul. It might be hard to take that first leap into the unknown,
but the net will appear, I promise.:)
Spoken as a parent who's been there.....
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
him out after the Christmas holidays. That way it should give me
enough time to get up with the state and meet the requirements for
homeschooling, plus by that time work will be over and I won't have
that causing problems. ~~
I'm going to be really blunt here. Just picture me as a good friend
sitting and having tea with you and discussing unschooling.:)
You're aiding and abetting the damage of school. You are part of the
hurt he's experiencing in his life right now. It is your job to be his
advocate and get him OUT of that environment as soon as possible.
There is no need to meet state requirements first. Get him OUT first,
then worry about the legalities.
Take him to work with you or find a friend for him to hang out with.
I'm being so blunt here because I screwed this one up myself! I have
nothing but regret for making my child finish the school year (I
realize you aren't doing this, but any day spent in torture is one day
too many) in kindergarten and he still remembers the stress quite clearly.
It is undermining your relationship with him to make him go somewhere
he doesn't want to be. Unschooling is hugely about relationships and
trust. He needs an adult he can trust to protect his spirit right now.
Please, please, please get him out of there right now. It's crushing
his soul. It might be hard to take that first leap into the unknown,
but the net will appear, I promise.:)
Spoken as a parent who's been there.....
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Julie
Thanks so much for your input, that helps a bunch. We have decided to
take him out of school in November, not even wait for the school break.
The main thing is waiting until my work is over in the beginning of the
month then I will be completely free.
We are going to have to do a bit of de-schooling first too. I need to
make him enjoy learning again, not forcing him back into the same thing.
which is why I have decided to unschool not homeschool. It's funny too,
because I thought about making a trebuchet with him! What 11 year old
boy does not want to fling things? ;) At any rate, we won't be doing
anything structured or remotely schoolish for the rest of this year
unless it is something HE wants to do.
Cheers,
Julie
vegnmama wrote:
take him out of school in November, not even wait for the school break.
The main thing is waiting until my work is over in the beginning of the
month then I will be completely free.
We are going to have to do a bit of de-schooling first too. I need to
make him enjoy learning again, not forcing him back into the same thing.
which is why I have decided to unschool not homeschool. It's funny too,
because I thought about making a trebuchet with him! What 11 year old
boy does not want to fling things? ;) At any rate, we won't be doing
anything structured or remotely schoolish for the rest of this year
unless it is something HE wants to do.
Cheers,
Julie
vegnmama wrote:
> Hi, Julie,
> We have been basically unschooling our son since last March- we took
> him out of 4th grade. It was a short school week; they only had
> school Monday-Wednesday that week, as there was a 4-day weekend after
> that. I chose this time to take him out for a few reasons:
>
> 1) Although we planned to start homeschooling at the beginning of the
> school year, he wanted to be on the 4th grade basketball team with
> his friends, and he had to attend school to do that.
> 2) We had just attended a homeschooling conference that really got me
> pumped up to start asap! My husband wasn't thrilled, but I knew I'd
> feel that way once we got home from the conference.
> 3) The 4-day weekend was the earliest "easy out" I could get. It went
> rather smoothly, since he was out of school the 4 days, as the rest
> of the school was, and then he just didn't go back.
> 4) He was begging me to do it asap, and didn't want to wait until the
> end of the school year. I had to side with him on this, even though
> my husband wanted to wait. I didn't see much good in making him go to
> school a few more months when we were going to be 'deschooling' soon,
> anyway.
> 5) Homework was getting to be unbearable, and the more we thought
> about homeschooling, the less he wanted to do the work, and the less
> I wanted to 'make' him get it done...
>
> We just wanted to get on with our REAL LIVES!
>
> I wanted to unschool from the start. Since we were in the process
> of 'de-schooling', it was basically unschooling. In the first few
> weeks, my son built a wooden catapult, and a rope ladder to climb a
> tree in our yard. He was so excited to have the time to do the things
> he really liked to do, but didn't have time while in school.
> As time went on, my husband started worrying... out loud... that our
> son was not learning anything, and so we bought a couple of workbooks
> that we did maybe 2 pages of, and that was that.
>
> At the start of this school year, I announced that this was the 1st
> school year that we weren't enrolling him in school! It was nice.
>
> My son asked for some sort of curriculum, and although I was
> surprised, this is unschooling- child-led, so I got him a book from
> the book store, "Complete 5th grade Curriculum". I was a bit
> skeptical, but he enjoys occasionally working on pages- especially
> math!
> I also purchased a placemat with the periodic table of elements on
> it, since he said he wanted to learn about that.
> We don't make him work in the workbook; he just does it when he's
> interested. He said he wants to finish it by the end of the school
> year.
> That's fine with me! As long as he is comfortable with it- he is
> setting his own goals, and that is so much better than what we were
> dealing with at school before he left.
>
> I definately recommend leaving school as soon as possible, as long as
> that works with the rest of your life. I don't think there is any
> perfect time (other that NOW, or YESTERDAY!.. LAST YEAR!).
>
> But I do feel that the less mental stress your child has, the better,
> and if that means leaving school now, then that sounds about right to
> me.
Julie
Ren,
I really appreciate that! Sometimes you need a bit of a kick in the rear
instead of sympathy to get you in gear! I won't be waiting much longer
at all, but I do have to get through this work season. I could take him
with me, but due to the work I do, it would be highly unhealthy for him.
I contract survey work with the department of agriculture, and taking
him out with me would mean subjecting him to a lot of harsh and damaging
chemicals, including herbicides, pesticides and defoliants. Not exactly
the healthiest of situations. Heck, I'm even thinking seriously about
quitting myself after this year due to the chemicals.
However, I will be taking him out the moment my work ends for the year,
which is a lot sooner than Christmas. Probably the beginning of November
at the latest. I will however, change my schedule and keep him at home
on any days he has bouts of severe depression, rather than sending him
to school on those days. If that doesn't equate to the need for a "sick
day" nothing else will.
Already he is healing, just knowing that it is only for a limited time.
It seems to have given him a boost in the past few days just knowing
that this isn't going to be going on for long. He is such a sensitive
and bright young man and really one of my best friends even at such a
young age.
Thanks again for being blunt, I appreciate it!
Cheers,
Julie
I really appreciate that! Sometimes you need a bit of a kick in the rear
instead of sympathy to get you in gear! I won't be waiting much longer
at all, but I do have to get through this work season. I could take him
with me, but due to the work I do, it would be highly unhealthy for him.
I contract survey work with the department of agriculture, and taking
him out with me would mean subjecting him to a lot of harsh and damaging
chemicals, including herbicides, pesticides and defoliants. Not exactly
the healthiest of situations. Heck, I'm even thinking seriously about
quitting myself after this year due to the chemicals.
However, I will be taking him out the moment my work ends for the year,
which is a lot sooner than Christmas. Probably the beginning of November
at the latest. I will however, change my schedule and keep him at home
on any days he has bouts of severe depression, rather than sending him
to school on those days. If that doesn't equate to the need for a "sick
day" nothing else will.
Already he is healing, just knowing that it is only for a limited time.
It seems to have given him a boost in the past few days just knowing
that this isn't going to be going on for long. He is such a sensitive
and bright young man and really one of my best friends even at such a
young age.
Thanks again for being blunt, I appreciate it!
Cheers,
Julie
> I'm going to be really blunt here. Just picture me as a good friend
> sitting and having tea with you and discussing unschooling.:)
>
> You're aiding and abetting the damage of school. You are part of the
> hurt he's experiencing in his life right now. It is your job to be his
> advocate and get him OUT of that environment as soon as possible.
> There is no need to meet state requirements first. Get him OUT first,
> then worry about the legalities.
>
> Take him to work with you or find a friend for him to hang out with.
> I'm being so blunt here because I screwed this one up myself! I have
> nothing but regret for making my child finish the school year (I
> realize you aren't doing this, but any day spent in torture is one day
> too many) in kindergarten and he still remembers the stress quite clearly.
>
> It is undermining your relationship with him to make him go somewhere
> he doesn't want to be. Unschooling is hugely about relationships and
> trust. He needs an adult he can trust to protect his spirit right now.
>
> Please, please, please get him out of there right now. It's crushing
> his soul. It might be hard to take that first leap into the unknown,
> but the net will appear, I promise.:)
>
> Spoken as a parent who's been there.....
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
carenkh
--- In [email protected], Julie <jsweevil2@...> wrote:
I know your intent here is really clear, but the words we use can
reveal those underlying thoughts we're having. I would approach life
much differently with my kids if I was thinking I had to "make them"
enjoy learning. Too much pressure for me! I support what they *do*
enjoy - learning happens. Or not - I don't really think about it.
peace,
Caren
> I need toI think you can let go of the idea of "making" him do anything again!
> make him enjoy learning again
I know your intent here is really clear, but the words we use can
reveal those underlying thoughts we're having. I would approach life
much differently with my kids if I was thinking I had to "make them"
enjoy learning. Too much pressure for me! I support what they *do*
enjoy - learning happens. Or not - I don't really think about it.
peace,
Caren
Julie
Good point Caren! Badly worded considering the circumstances, I guess I
should have said, "I want to see him enjoy learning again on his own." I
know he will at some point, since even though I was schooled through the
public school system, I still enjoy learning on a daily basis. I know
that being around me will probably convey that love of learning more
than trying to force anything. I especially enjoy trying to figure
things out on my own, and trying things that no one has thought of
before and having him with me 24/7 will inspire him as well.
Cheers,
Julie
should have said, "I want to see him enjoy learning again on his own." I
know he will at some point, since even though I was schooled through the
public school system, I still enjoy learning on a daily basis. I know
that being around me will probably convey that love of learning more
than trying to force anything. I especially enjoy trying to figure
things out on my own, and trying things that no one has thought of
before and having him with me 24/7 will inspire him as well.
Cheers,
Julie
> I think you can let go of the idea of "making" him do anything again!
> I know your intent here is really clear, but the words we use can
> reveal those underlying thoughts we're having. I would approach life
> much differently with my kids if I was thinking I had to "make them"
> enjoy learning. Too much pressure for me! I support what they *do*
> enjoy - learning happens. Or not - I don't really think about it.
>
> peace,
> Caren
Meredith
I have a suggestion for you, if you haven't thought of it yet - do his
homework for him for these last few weeks of school if you can't pull
him out and the school requires the stuff. I did Ray's the few weeks
after he moved in but we didn't have "permission" from his (custodial)
mom to homeschool and it massively reduced his stress level - at his
school a missed hw assignment meant lost recess or detention! If your
guy's school isn't as harsh, then naturally you can drop the homework
entirely.
One of the other advantages I found in doing Ray's hw those few weeks
is that I could see exactly what kind of trivial crud was being fed to
him in the name of education. It certainly gave me a boost of
confidence!
---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 13)
homework for him for these last few weeks of school if you can't pull
him out and the school requires the stuff. I did Ray's the few weeks
after he moved in but we didn't have "permission" from his (custodial)
mom to homeschool and it massively reduced his stress level - at his
school a missed hw assignment meant lost recess or detention! If your
guy's school isn't as harsh, then naturally you can drop the homework
entirely.
One of the other advantages I found in doing Ray's hw those few weeks
is that I could see exactly what kind of trivial crud was being fed to
him in the name of education. It certainly gave me a boost of
confidence!
---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 13)