[email protected]

In a message dated 9/11/2007 9:25:39 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

Before they left I managed to croak out, "We steer away from philosophies
that advocate spanking" which seemed to surprise them a bit but wasn't
really earth-shaking and not a tenth of what I really wanted to say.
<<<<<<<<<<,

I picked this sentence out of your whole post because this is how I approach
things, lists as well as talking with people in person. I speak from where
I am standing. I share what we do in our family, how it works for us, what
it looks like with our relationships. If someone is more interested they will
ask me to expand, if not that is fine too. But it presents how we do things
in a comfortable manner without offending anyone.

"We steer away from philosophies that advocate spanking." Lets them know
where you are coming from and what you are working with in your family. But you
are not demanding that they do things the same way, and you are not saying
that they are wrong (which usually turns people off immediately). But it
gives them something to think about and an opportunity to ask for more if they
would like. Who knows they may go home and think about it more. You never
know who you touch by example. I think this was a great thing to say. I always
try to come from a place of love and admiration and that allows for
connection and sharing.


Just my thoughts
Pam G

Visit my blog: http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

~~So far, the rules I've played by are, "If they bring it up, it's
fair game,"and "When in the game, play gently." (I'm interested in
getting more people to play, more often.) ~~

I have to admit not playing gently at times.:) When someone does a
shocking thing to a child right in front of me, I'm more likely to
bark "HEY, be nice to your kid!"

So far, most people ignore that one or look embarrassed. Not so great
for conversation but at the same time if the public won't tolerate
meanness to kids, it will get less acceptable.

I've often thought it would be nice to carry a passel of brochures
that advocate non-spanking or other gentle methods and resources that
you could simply hand to someone and say "I thought this might be
something you'd enjoy". Much less obtrusive.

The place I find it hardest to advocate for children is at work, where
I have to consider my employment and how customers will react if I say
something that offends. I try to focus on the child in those instances
and tell the parents how wonderful their child is. When they respond
with negatives I simply disagree gently "oh, I bet he's just
tired...that's so normal for that age" or "she's just letting us know
what she needs" or something along those lines.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com