Lisa Heyman

Kendrah,

Your dh is right. Relax.



It sounds like your toddler is an active bud and you probably have been
going back and forth between rooms and kids for many things in recent months
so its NOT JUST THE TV - yes? Also - if your dd is anything like most,
she'll probably watch the video over and over and over and over again giving
you plenty of opportunity to know the story well as you move in and out of
the room.you just won't necessarily watch it start to finish.unless your
toddler naps <g>. You have so many years ahead of you,trust you'll have
plenty of time to cuddle and watch shows together. Being uptight is a lot
less fun than enjoying the process.



Lisa Heyman



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lisa

-I asked our eye Dr about kids standing too close to the TV because my
youngest daughter who has autism used to stand in front of the tv
close enough to tap the screen as the program played... I was sure she
was going to go blind! He said that when kids are little their eyes
are capable of focusing WAY up close (ours eyes lose that ability as
we age) so that it's more harmful for us as adults to sit too close
than for children because their eye can adjust and not be under strain
the way ours would be. He said however he didn't recommend
encouraging that particular habit but that it wasn't necessarily going
to damage their vision.

I would say right now he is probably standing that close because the
tv is a novelty ... he will move on quickly most likely. I have a
child like your little one too (he's 6 now so they do survive contrary
to what you may feel right now... ok we won't talk about his ER visit
last week...) As long as you are present (in tune even if you aren't
in the room) while your child is watching tv I think you will be
ok...that is assuming you are worried about her possibly viewing
something that may frighten or disturb her... you can be there in
seconds to comfort or explain.

Enjoy the little fireball he will be big and independent before you
know it! I wish I could say the crashing would stop!!
Lisa B

Anne Marie Shotwell

>>>letting go of the "TV causes ADD" thoughts.

Sorry if this is a soap box moment and is directed not at you directly
Kendrah but to the general world as ADD is so misunderstood.:)!

I think ADD is a fear that has been totally manufactured. ADD is an
overblown misused label used by schools et al to describe a very normal
person who probably has a visual spatial thinking and learning
style.This may or may not be coupled with hyperactivity hence ADHD. IMHO
This labeling has caused a mass hysteria that someone is broken or
defective if labeled ADD. When usually just means that they don't fit
the classic sit quietly in class do as your told school atmosphere, or a
slew of other personalty traits that are not conducive to a classroom..
In an unschooling setting the label (as all disablilty labels) is a non
issue as the child is in charge of how he/she learns and as the parent
you foster the individuals needs accordingly. The so called ADD child
is not necessarily bored or hyper because he/she is engaged in something
that is fulfilling his need or desire. If they are bored and hyper you
are trying your darndest to figure out what they need not medicate or
punish. I do not believe that anything can cause ADD particularly
watching too much TV. Certainly not getting needs met in certain
atmospheres can exacerbate someone who happens to have that style of
learning.

So bottom line to the apprehensive TV people, please do not think that
you can make your children have ADD. My guess that most of the children
in those studies are schooled children with not a lot of present
parenting ;-) . I have spent the last two years researching and
understanding this as my son Jake (9) was "labeled" Dyslexic and I have
come full circle trying to help him overcome his "disability" and have
learned that there is NO disability. He has blossomed with self directed
organic learning and I let go more and more of my preconceived notion
that he should be doing xyz. Jake has loved TV since he could crawl
over to it. My other ds's (ages 3 and 6) never paid it much attention
until they were about 2. Jake is visual loves documentaries and loves to
be read to and is an encyclopedia about many topics but just don't ask
him to read or write about it. DS 6 a reading fiend. In a classroom Jake
spaces off the topic at hand if it is not of interest. (Conferences: he
won't pay attention he must be add) Now he is home and free to pursue
whatever strikes his fancy. Some days this is TV and someday not. I
trust him to make his own choice.

Being a mother of more than one child is hard and I completely empathize
with you, always pulled in different direction. Not feeling like you
are meeting everyones needs but I have to agree with your husband, you
sound like you are doing a great job!

Anne Marie

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Kendrah Nilsestuen
<carebear-79@...> wrote:
>> My husband tells me I need to relax, I'm doing great and life is
too
> short to be this uptight!

Give that man a BIG KISS!!!!

> I"m also having trouble letting go of the "TV causes ADD" thoughts.

As an antidote, maybe go read some unschooling "day in the life"
stories:

http://sandradodd.com/typical

Or browse through some unschoolers blogs:

http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/2007/01/unschooling-voices-
main-page.html

http://organiclearning.org/resources.html

That's something that helped *me* a whole lot - reading lots and
lots of different unschoolers descriptions of kids being kids.

---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 13)

wisdomalways5

--- In [email protected], Kendrah Nilsestuen
<carebear-79@...> wrote:
>
> We have been TV free for a year now. Last weekend I bought one
off
> Craigslist. Along with a new Netflix subscribtion.

Good for you- now breathe deeply and realize that the tv has NEVER
killed anyone- unless you count it falling on someone so make sure
it is sturdy.... ha ha


>
> My 17 month old son stands right in front of the TV and points
at
> the picture while watching it. It will only hold his attention for
a
> few minutes but I can't help but think standing that close to the
TV
> even for a few minutes isn't a good thing for his vision.

This is a myth- standing close to the tv will not harm your child
and they probably won't want to do it long anyway because it
distorts the image- Your eyesight is heriditary- you ether have the
genes or you do not.


I"m also
> having trouble letting go of the "TV causes ADD" thoughts.


ADD is also genetic- the brains of children who have ADD are
different than kids who are just hyper and high energy. Only about
10% of the entire population should have true ADD.

TV can lead to creative play as they watch the shows and get ideas-
my son would never finish a movie because he wanted to go play what
he was watching.



> I'm available to her, but not always right next to her. I engage
off
> and on while she watches, and I can see she appreciates this. I
hear
> so much that US isn't about leaving our kids to watch TV on their
> own, we should do it with them, especially for the young ones.
>
> My husband tells me I need to relax, I'm doing great and life is
too
> short to be this uptight!
>
> Kendrah:)
>


Listen to your husband- lol-- you do not need to be right there
watching every minute with your daughter. She will understand that
you have to keep an eye on brother. Leaving kids alone with the tv
is not harmful and you have dvd's so you already know what she is
watching- invite her to tell you what she watched or ask her what
you missed. When brother is taking a nap or in bed you will have
time to sit and watch with her- and little one will get older and so
when she is watching other things you will be able to sit more.

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Anne Marie Shotwell
<amshot@...> wrote:
>> When usually just means that they don't fit
> the classic sit quietly in class do as your told school
atmosphere, or a
> slew of other personalty traits that are not conducive to a
classroom..

Like multi-tasking. Several people I know who were diagnosed with
ADD as kids are natural whizzes at multi-tasking. In school, multi-
tasking is generally considered "not paying attention". Pbbbbttt.

Anyway, what occurred to me, thinking about this in terms of tv, is
that many unschoolers describe their kids as doing lots of other
things while also watching tv. So maybe <nudge, nudge, wink, wink>
having unlimited tv *does* cause "ADD" in that sense - it allows
kids the opportunity to become fabulous multi-taskers at an eary
age.

---Meredith (who was once suspended for knitting during class and is
currently posting, washing dishes and listening to Dora!)