Re: [unschoolingbasics] Going back to school
Nance Confer
unschoolingbasicsBut how do I help him to learn to trust himself? I can talk to him until I'm blue in the face and what he's doing is learning, but until he internalizes it, he still thinks of his days as wasted. He also hates when I point out that something is 'educational' or that he 'learned something from it'. He tells me that I ruin all his fun by pointing those things out. I don't do it in a "Ha ha, you just learned xyz by watching that show/playing Pokemon!" kind of way. I do it off-handedly, just casually, usually when we are chatting at bedtime.
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So cut it out.
Really.
Unschool yourself.
Learn that pointing out how "educational" something is only devalues the enjoyment the person was already having.
Here's a non-school example of what I mean:
My MIL was just here. I was telling her that my DD is about to start taking a drama class.
Well, this is terrific, according to MIL. And to be expected because of all the relatives on her side of the family with acting talent.
Now, DD and I know MIL well enough and DD is old enough that what we do is just nod and smile and wave good-bye. :)
Back inside the thank goodness air-conditioned house, though, we laughed about it. The idea that somehow DD's interest in acting is derived from my MIL's sisters' dramatic flair . . . well, we just laughed.
DD offered that her interest might be because DH enjoyed acting classes when he was young and has talked about it. But then we realized her brother has heard the same stories and has no such interest.
Then we talked briefly about it just being an interest she has and that that's terrific enough on its own and doesn't need to be justified by some genetic link to old relatives. Or her Dad. It could just be her thing that she enjoys doing for her own self for its own sake.
And, no, I did not point out that it was also "educational." In this house that would certainly be rewarded with a guffaw! :)
When my DS was interested in Pokeman and then whatever the next card game thing was, my role was to take him to places to play and buy the stuff and be amazed at the beautiful cards and the complex rules of the game. And to lose -- not on purpose, I have to admit -- when I was asked to play. Not to suggest how "educational" any of it was.
Just as I don't point out the "educational value" of DS now teaching himself the guitar. I'm sure there is some but that's not the point. And after years of actively teaching myself not to kill a moment with some lecture, I am better at just encouraging and enjoying.
And as far as the going back to school thing -- I run a private school, an umbrella school for homeschoolers. I cannot tell you how many kids want to go back and then, after a few months, are back to hsing and re-enrolling in my school. Which is fine by me. :) Sometimes the kids need to go through the experience of doing something to find out they don't want to do it. We all do that sometimes. But nobody fusses at me when I don't finish a book or think I'm going to take up a hobby and quit.
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
**************
So cut it out.
Really.
Unschool yourself.
Learn that pointing out how "educational" something is only devalues the enjoyment the person was already having.
Here's a non-school example of what I mean:
My MIL was just here. I was telling her that my DD is about to start taking a drama class.
Well, this is terrific, according to MIL. And to be expected because of all the relatives on her side of the family with acting talent.
Now, DD and I know MIL well enough and DD is old enough that what we do is just nod and smile and wave good-bye. :)
Back inside the thank goodness air-conditioned house, though, we laughed about it. The idea that somehow DD's interest in acting is derived from my MIL's sisters' dramatic flair . . . well, we just laughed.
DD offered that her interest might be because DH enjoyed acting classes when he was young and has talked about it. But then we realized her brother has heard the same stories and has no such interest.
Then we talked briefly about it just being an interest she has and that that's terrific enough on its own and doesn't need to be justified by some genetic link to old relatives. Or her Dad. It could just be her thing that she enjoys doing for her own self for its own sake.
And, no, I did not point out that it was also "educational." In this house that would certainly be rewarded with a guffaw! :)
When my DS was interested in Pokeman and then whatever the next card game thing was, my role was to take him to places to play and buy the stuff and be amazed at the beautiful cards and the complex rules of the game. And to lose -- not on purpose, I have to admit -- when I was asked to play. Not to suggest how "educational" any of it was.
Just as I don't point out the "educational value" of DS now teaching himself the guitar. I'm sure there is some but that's not the point. And after years of actively teaching myself not to kill a moment with some lecture, I am better at just encouraging and enjoying.
And as far as the going back to school thing -- I run a private school, an umbrella school for homeschoolers. I cannot tell you how many kids want to go back and then, after a few months, are back to hsing and re-enrolling in my school. Which is fine by me. :) Sometimes the kids need to go through the experience of doing something to find out they don't want to do it. We all do that sometimes. But nobody fusses at me when I don't finish a book or think I'm going to take up a hobby and quit.
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jen Anderson
Nancy,
You know, to be honest, I hadn't realized how much of a joy-killer I was, pointing out that stuff. And again, to be honest, Thomas has said to me,"Yeah, yeah, I know I just did multiplication. Don't mention it."
In doing so, I wasn't trying to be a killjoy, but to point out how much learning takes place in his daily activities, so he can see that he's not wasting his days doing nothing. It was intended to help him, but I guess I wasn't.
I continue to go through the unschooling process myself. It is happening. It takes a completely different mindset than what I've had, but I'm getting there.
Thomas has asked me check out a private school, so I am. He's got 'meet the teacher' night at the public school he's registered in. None of his friends are in his homeroom, but I think it's a bit of a relief to him. So, as of right now, he'll start ps in a week, but I'll continue to check out the private school. And, if he wants to stay home, he will and we will fill our days with activities he loves to keep him busy.
Thank you for the food for thought.
Jen
Nance Confer <marbleface@...> wrote:
So cut it out.
Really.
Unschool yourself.
Learn that pointing out how "educational" something is only devalues the enjoyment the person was already having.
---------------------------------
Got a little couch potato?
Check out fun summer activities for kids.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You know, to be honest, I hadn't realized how much of a joy-killer I was, pointing out that stuff. And again, to be honest, Thomas has said to me,"Yeah, yeah, I know I just did multiplication. Don't mention it."
In doing so, I wasn't trying to be a killjoy, but to point out how much learning takes place in his daily activities, so he can see that he's not wasting his days doing nothing. It was intended to help him, but I guess I wasn't.
I continue to go through the unschooling process myself. It is happening. It takes a completely different mindset than what I've had, but I'm getting there.
Thomas has asked me check out a private school, so I am. He's got 'meet the teacher' night at the public school he's registered in. None of his friends are in his homeroom, but I think it's a bit of a relief to him. So, as of right now, he'll start ps in a week, but I'll continue to check out the private school. And, if he wants to stay home, he will and we will fill our days with activities he loves to keep him busy.
Thank you for the food for thought.
Jen
Nance Confer <marbleface@...> wrote:
So cut it out.
Really.
Unschool yourself.
Learn that pointing out how "educational" something is only devalues the enjoyment the person was already having.
---------------------------------
Got a little couch potato?
Check out fun summer activities for kids.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jen Anderson
Jen Anderson <jen_d_anderson@...> wrote: Nancy,
You know, to be honest, I hadn't realized how much of a joy-killer I was, pointing out that stuff. And again, to be honest, Thomas has said to me,"Yeah, yeah, I know I just did multiplication. Don't mention it."
In doing so, I wasn't trying to be a killjoy, but to point out how much learning takes place in his daily activities, so he can see that he's not wasting his days doing nothing. It was intended to help him, but I guess I wasn't.
I continue to go through the unschooling process myself. It is happening. It takes a completely different mindset than what I've had, but I'm getting there.
Thomas has asked me check out a private school, so I am. He's got 'meet the teacher' night at the public school he's registered in. None of his friends are in his homeroom, but I think it's a bit of a relief to him. So, as of right now, he'll start ps in a week, but I'll continue to check out the private school. And, if he wants to stay home, he will and we will fill our days with activities he loves to keep him busy.
Thank you for the food for thought.
Jen
Nance Confer <marbleface@...> wrote:
So cut it out.
Really.
Unschool yourself.
Learn that pointing out how "educational" something is only devalues the enjoyment the person was already having.
---------------------------------
Got a little couch potato?
Check out fun summer activities for kids.
---------------------------------
Ready for the edge of your seat? Check out tonight's top picks on Yahoo! TV.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You know, to be honest, I hadn't realized how much of a joy-killer I was, pointing out that stuff. And again, to be honest, Thomas has said to me,"Yeah, yeah, I know I just did multiplication. Don't mention it."
In doing so, I wasn't trying to be a killjoy, but to point out how much learning takes place in his daily activities, so he can see that he's not wasting his days doing nothing. It was intended to help him, but I guess I wasn't.
I continue to go through the unschooling process myself. It is happening. It takes a completely different mindset than what I've had, but I'm getting there.
Thomas has asked me check out a private school, so I am. He's got 'meet the teacher' night at the public school he's registered in. None of his friends are in his homeroom, but I think it's a bit of a relief to him. So, as of right now, he'll start ps in a week, but I'll continue to check out the private school. And, if he wants to stay home, he will and we will fill our days with activities he loves to keep him busy.
Thank you for the food for thought.
Jen
Nance Confer <marbleface@...> wrote:
So cut it out.
Really.
Unschool yourself.
Learn that pointing out how "educational" something is only devalues the enjoyment the person was already having.
---------------------------------
Got a little couch potato?
Check out fun summer activities for kids.
---------------------------------
Ready for the edge of your seat? Check out tonight's top picks on Yahoo! TV.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]