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Kendrah, that was really heartfelt and open and I'm glad you risked your
emotions so we could understand more. I really appreciate that.

My feeling is that your parents would probably have been distant with you no
matter if it was pre-TV or not. The vehicle used for their disengagement of
you was the TV - almost like with me, food and lack of eating is a symptom of
my ED, it's not that food itself is the issue, but the vehicle used. Does
that make any sense?

I can imagine, the pain and the resentment and I can imagine too, removing
something that caused hurt and loneliness, and what came to be a mindlessness
type of thing. I can see you also, clearly questioning the situation and
trying to work out your personal stuff at the same time. What hard work that is,
and that's a great thing to have happen. Growth, always!

I, as I said before, LOVE TV, lol. I try to use it thoughtfully, but I also
do "gel out" at times :) I enjoy it. I enjoy the discussions it can bring, the
topics and the things shown to me that help me question more and more - with
the kids and w/o them. I like (to try) being mindful in all my endeavors and
I like how TV helps me use critical thinking.

Again, thanks for discussing that!
Karen



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I think, about the whole TV issue, is that whatever makes a family feel good
and whole is probably what's best for that family :) Enjoy your TV free
days! I'm really glad you took the time to discuss it. It helps me to understand
a bit the idea of no TV and of so many surrounding issues involving it (and
other ways we can become distracted and distant).

Thanks, Kendrah!
Karen



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

~~I think, about the whole TV issue, is that whatever makes a family
feel good and whole is probably what's best for that family :)~~

Many people say the above, what they really mean is "what works for
the parents". I realize that isn't what you're saying at all, but
statements like this get bandied about in society as rock solid truth
and no one really considers that the kids have little to NO voice
about those choices.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

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In a message dated 7/25/2007 3:39:39 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:

Me: ~~I think, about the whole TV issue, is that whatever makes a family
feel good and whole is probably what's best for that family :)~~

Ren: Many people say the above, what they really mean is "what works for
the parents". I realize that isn't what you're saying at all, but
statements like this get bandied about in society as rock solid truth
and no one really considers that the kids have little to NO voice
about those choices.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

I agree! I used the word "family" for a reason, because for us (and I hope
for others) we really DO decide as equally as possible. My son wants me to help
him - if a scary scene comes on, he jams, lol, he is too scared to turn off
the TV (he's 4, almost 5), so by his own choosing, he doesn't have unlimited
access - he knows the stations numbers he likes and he has pretty much free
access to the TV. Well, I guess in a sense that IS unlimited, as he decides
for himself, huh?)We get into issues when the XBox is desired, or a movie wants
to be watched, or some other sort of 2-3 different people wanting to watch
2-3 different things. That often requires a bit of help in the negotiation,
but generally, it's a fairly smooth issue. My desire to watch Weeds is no more
important than my 2 year old's desire to see Caillou "Food-a-licious" for the
16th time ;) So...we make the differences work as best we can...

Ren, you are REALLY helping me (and Joyce, and Meredith and many others!!!)
too think critically. I recently was "challenged" by my mom about my 15 year
old's changing interests in how she wants to use her "high school" years. And
much of my discussion regarding this came from my listening to the
conversations here. So thank you, all of you, for helping me out! (Oh, and my mom
laughed, and bowed out, saying that I made a good argument, lol!)

(I'll post up an update on the Teenager Front here - stuff is happening and
changing between the 3 older kids of mine, and I have had some hard
times...just gearing up for the novel it will be!)

Karen





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

~~Well, I guess in a sense that IS unlimited, as he decides
for himself, huh?)~~

Um...yeah.:)
That's really the whole point. I don't feel limited in any way because
I choose not to watch certain shows or movies. Nobody is telling me
what I should or shouldn't watch. Nobody is judging me for my choices.
I DO have unlimited access yet I choose very carefully what I watch.

Kids will do the same, in a home filled with trust and respect. They
don't WANT to watch anything and everything out there. They will each
choose exactly what is nourishing for them personally, given the
chance. It will look very different from family to family and person
to person. What bothers me makes others laugh.
What enchants me, may bore others.

Around here, I have a 17 y.o. that rarely ever watches tv even though
he has one in his room. I have a 13y.o. that watches certain shows
religiously every week, only his favorites and rarely anything else
and he also has a tv in his room.

Dh and I only watch shows occasionally, I'm more likely to watch what
someone else already has on. Ciara and Jalen (10 and 6) love Cartoon
Network and have several favorites there. They probably watch more
than anyone else in the house. They are more excited by a trip to the
Farmer's Market or a walk in the rain or picking blackberries than
anything on tv usually! Oh, they have a tv in each of their rooms AND
my room which they have access to at all times (they sleep with us).

We are a technology rich household really. We actually own every game
system since n64 came out other than the new Wii and PS3. Even with
all of that, they're more likely to play WoW than watch tv.:)

They've learned from all the tv and video games just like everything
else in our lives. Having those doesn't negate all the other wonderful
activities we choose.

Now I'm off on a tangent again. Not even answering your post really,
I'm thinking more about the other post about power tools and tv!
That's what happens when I get writing.

The point is, all the information about tv makes it sound like one
must choose tv OR a rich active life. One can have both. We do. It's
all part of unschooling. It's all part of learning and exploration. I
don't need to control their choices, I need to embrace them.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com