Re: Nudity/washing hands
Deb
Nudity - we simply have always told DS that he needs to have
his "private parts" covered when non-family can see because they are
HIS private parts, not anyone else's business. Not only does that
keep within "societal expectations" but it's an ounce of prevention
in the direction of child predators - his parts are his parts and no
one outside the family should be seeing them. He's just turned 9 and
no signs of ashamed-ness, he simply covers up when guests are over
or when we're going out; a biggie for all of us is remembering to
shut the bathroom door when we have guests. When it's just us,
that's often a 'gathering' spot for chatting - it got quite crowded
at times when all 3 of us humans plus both dogs (a lab mix and a
German Shepherd) were in there! Some factors that "nudged" him a bit
without us mentioning anything much: he hates having the dog sniff
his naked butt; he doesn't like the feel of dirt, grass, etc on
his "parts". We've also always talked about signs in establishments
that say "No shirt, No shoes, No service" and wondered what they'd
do if someone walked in with a shirt and shoes but a naked butt.
As far as hand washing, we just explained and modelled from the time
DS was little that playing in dirt and such may have germs and we
don't want that in our food that we eat. We always wash hands before
any kind of food prep that includes our hands (reaching into
packages, touching things we're cutting up, etc) but we don't harp
on it or worry all that much about situations where hands don't
touch food (pouring a bowl of cereal and eating it with a spoon for
instance). Over time, it's just become habit for DS to say "Wait a
minute, I'm going to go wash my hands, they're kind of grubby from
playing", just as there's a corollary habit of stopping for a
bathroom break before sitting down to meals (that's a habit from
when he was much littler and just learning the potty connection).
So, in both cases, we don't make an issue of it, just simple
reminders "N is coming over to play, let's find some shorts for your
parts" (his choice on what kind of coverage - sometimes it's just a
swimsuit other times it's full 'gear' from underwear out) or "Time
to shred cheese for the burritos, let's wash hands first" and
modelling. Sometimes the reminders are just modelling - "Okay, I'll
be right there to scoop out the trail mix, just let me wash my hands
first" not even directed at his actions at all.
--Deb
his "private parts" covered when non-family can see because they are
HIS private parts, not anyone else's business. Not only does that
keep within "societal expectations" but it's an ounce of prevention
in the direction of child predators - his parts are his parts and no
one outside the family should be seeing them. He's just turned 9 and
no signs of ashamed-ness, he simply covers up when guests are over
or when we're going out; a biggie for all of us is remembering to
shut the bathroom door when we have guests. When it's just us,
that's often a 'gathering' spot for chatting - it got quite crowded
at times when all 3 of us humans plus both dogs (a lab mix and a
German Shepherd) were in there! Some factors that "nudged" him a bit
without us mentioning anything much: he hates having the dog sniff
his naked butt; he doesn't like the feel of dirt, grass, etc on
his "parts". We've also always talked about signs in establishments
that say "No shirt, No shoes, No service" and wondered what they'd
do if someone walked in with a shirt and shoes but a naked butt.
As far as hand washing, we just explained and modelled from the time
DS was little that playing in dirt and such may have germs and we
don't want that in our food that we eat. We always wash hands before
any kind of food prep that includes our hands (reaching into
packages, touching things we're cutting up, etc) but we don't harp
on it or worry all that much about situations where hands don't
touch food (pouring a bowl of cereal and eating it with a spoon for
instance). Over time, it's just become habit for DS to say "Wait a
minute, I'm going to go wash my hands, they're kind of grubby from
playing", just as there's a corollary habit of stopping for a
bathroom break before sitting down to meals (that's a habit from
when he was much littler and just learning the potty connection).
So, in both cases, we don't make an issue of it, just simple
reminders "N is coming over to play, let's find some shorts for your
parts" (his choice on what kind of coverage - sometimes it's just a
swimsuit other times it's full 'gear' from underwear out) or "Time
to shred cheese for the burritos, let's wash hands first" and
modelling. Sometimes the reminders are just modelling - "Okay, I'll
be right there to scoop out the trail mix, just let me wash my hands
first" not even directed at his actions at all.
--Deb
Cameron Parham
** Nudity- How do you guys explain having to wear clothes in public **
Just to reply with what I have said to my kids: "Every culture or group of people has certain ways that they do things. Right now where we live we have to wear clothes when we are around other people or are where we can be seen by other people. Also without them we would often be cold. (We live in MT). There are countries where it is so warm they don't bother with clothes, and they don't get upset when people are naked." My kids were OK with this at age 4, although the issue has been revisitd as they get older. We do live in a neighborhood with known sex offenders, so I would rather not have anyone seeng their cute little selves, but we didn't have to discuss this until they were a bit older. This certainly came up for us, bc we spent 1993-2001 living with our nearest neighbors 5 miles away, and total freedom to run around 'nakies' as they used to call it with delight in the freedom. Once we drove into town to go to the library when the older ds was 5, my dd was
3, and I had a small baby. We pulled up to the glass-fronted one-story library and the 3 and 5 year-olds got out to play in the 'town grass', much softer than the country grass. I turned to get the baby out of his carseat, turned back with him in my arms, and the 5 yo ds was standing with his pants down, peeing happily right at the glass front of the library (which was well attended that day). Ha, ha, ha,...I just shrugged, smiled, and waved!,_Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Just to reply with what I have said to my kids: "Every culture or group of people has certain ways that they do things. Right now where we live we have to wear clothes when we are around other people or are where we can be seen by other people. Also without them we would often be cold. (We live in MT). There are countries where it is so warm they don't bother with clothes, and they don't get upset when people are naked." My kids were OK with this at age 4, although the issue has been revisitd as they get older. We do live in a neighborhood with known sex offenders, so I would rather not have anyone seeng their cute little selves, but we didn't have to discuss this until they were a bit older. This certainly came up for us, bc we spent 1993-2001 living with our nearest neighbors 5 miles away, and total freedom to run around 'nakies' as they used to call it with delight in the freedom. Once we drove into town to go to the library when the older ds was 5, my dd was
3, and I had a small baby. We pulled up to the glass-fronted one-story library and the 3 and 5 year-olds got out to play in the 'town grass', much softer than the country grass. I turned to get the baby out of his carseat, turned back with him in my arms, and the 5 yo ds was standing with his pants down, peeing happily right at the glass front of the library (which was well attended that day). Ha, ha, ha,...I just shrugged, smiled, and waved!,_Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], Kendrah Nilsestuen
<carebear-79@...> wrote:
hand sanitizer?
with, but a rule none-the-less, like wearing shoes in a store and
not yodelling in libraries.
I live in the woods, so my yard isn't an issue. We did have a
problem in town this spring, though. We were at a friend's house
where Mo is used to being able to run through the sprinkler naked
with the other little kids. They have a largish back yard that's on
a corner, but with a line of trees mostly blocking the view from the
road. We had some weird weather this spring, so it got good and warm
but most of the trees had no leaves, yet. When the girls ran outside
in the buff to play in the sprinkler a passing motorist called in a
complaint on a cell-phone and the police showed up! One of them was
quite firm about the matter and said the girls needed to have
clothes on since people could see them. The other fellow rolled his
eyes and said *his* kids did it all the time, but they had to
respond to the complaint. I haven't checked the local laws, but I
have told Mo that she needs to have panties at the least on when she
plays "in town" - although I do think its a pretty silly rule,
personally, and tell her that.
---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)
<carebear-79@...> wrote:
>> Washing hands- My daughter hates to wash her handsWhat about giving her some other hygeine options, like wipes or a
hand sanitizer?
> How doown
> you explain having to wear clothes in public, without sending the
> message that a naked body is wrong? How about in the yard of your
> home? Clothes or no clothes?I've said its a rule, actually. One that I don't always *agree*
with, but a rule none-the-less, like wearing shoes in a store and
not yodelling in libraries.
I live in the woods, so my yard isn't an issue. We did have a
problem in town this spring, though. We were at a friend's house
where Mo is used to being able to run through the sprinkler naked
with the other little kids. They have a largish back yard that's on
a corner, but with a line of trees mostly blocking the view from the
road. We had some weird weather this spring, so it got good and warm
but most of the trees had no leaves, yet. When the girls ran outside
in the buff to play in the sprinkler a passing motorist called in a
complaint on a cell-phone and the police showed up! One of them was
quite firm about the matter and said the girls needed to have
clothes on since people could see them. The other fellow rolled his
eyes and said *his* kids did it all the time, but they had to
respond to the complaint. I haven't checked the local laws, but I
have told Mo that she needs to have panties at the least on when she
plays "in town" - although I do think its a pretty silly rule,
personally, and tell her that.
---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)
oum rayan
Hi Kendrah,
My 4yo recently asked why he has to wear clothes before going in the front yard, and I was uncomfortable having to explain why...the best I could do is say, "because people don't like to see other people naked!" BAH! I botched it, I know, but I, too, don't want to make him feel that something's wrong with HIS body. I'll be glad to hear other's perspectives on this subject, too.
As for handwashing, I'm a handwashing fool. I do insist that my son wash his hands before meal prep, but I've let go of the chasing him with hand sanitizing gel everytime he picks his nose! I've gotten to where I base my handwashing requests on his activity. Playing with/feeding the dog=handwashing. Toileting=handwashing. Playing with his baby brother=pre-handwashing (because he always wants to put his finger in his mouth!)
Otherwise, I let it go, and figure a little bit of bacteria is what keeps his immune system in-check.
Kendrah Nilsestuen <carebear-79@...> wrote:
Hi all,
I have two questions here that I'm looking for advice and perspective
on.
Nudity- How do you guys explain having to wear clothes in public
(like at the a store) to your kiddos? I don't want her (haven't had
to worry about it with my son yet) to be ashamed of her naked body,
and by telling her to wear clothes I feel like I'm saying something
is wrong with you, so cover it up. I usually have said something like
"For some reason some people aren't comfortable seeing other people
naked, so stores have rules that we have to wear clothes to shop
there." Or something like this. Also, what about in your own yard? At
home inside she can be as nude as she wants but if she's goes in the
front yard I have her put on undies at least. This weekend she went
out into the back naked. I was okay with that but then neighbors on
both sides came out and I was uncomfortable with her being naked with
them outside. I'm not sure if it was because other's could see her
naked. I know if I saw a kid running around naked in their backyard
I'd think it was cute. I certainly wouldn't have judgement, and even
if I did (which I wouldn't) it wouldn't matter because it is their
backyard! I don't have fear that everyone who looks at my daughter is
some sort of creep. Maybe it is just a societal thing imbedded in to
me since childhood, who knows. So how do you guys handle it? How do
you explain having to wear clothes in public, without sending the
message that a naked body is wrong? How about in the yard of your own
home? Clothes or no clothes?
Washing hands- My daughter hates to wash her hands, no doubt because
I've asked her to do it so much. I wash my hands frequently, but I
know I likely didn't as a child. Here's my thing, I can't make her
wash her hands. They are her hands and if she doesn't want to that is
her right. However, If she wants to help me cook I tell her I need
her to wash her hands in order to. Sometimes she will, most often she
doesn't. Does that seem reasonable? It is your freedom to touch and
eat your food without washing your hands, but if you want to help
cook food for the rest of the family, or share my food they need to
be washed. As a four year old her hands go many places. She wipes
herself (pee, not poop), dirt, things at the park, the store, any
place on her body she has decided to explore. It just doesn't seem
unreasonable to me to request that hands be washed. I have a really
hard time with the not washing hands thing. I think I may be slightly
obsessive about washing my own. Yesterday she wanted to eat some
cereal dry right out of the box and I told her she could if she
washed her hands, but if not I'd put it in a bowl for her. My thing
is I don't want to make her feel dirty or unwanted because she
doesn't have clean hands. It seems reasonable to request that hands
be washed but I want to convey it to her in a way that doesn't make
her feel bad. I nicely as I can say "I'd love to have your help
cooking, lets go wash our hands and get started." If she turns me
down I say that it is important we wash our hands before dealing with
food for the family. I also know that someday she'll be able to reach
the cereal box on her own and whether she has washed her hands or not
she will eat it out of there. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance.
Kendrah-mama to Payge 4 y/o, Damien 15 months
(who rarely eats out because the whole time she's thinking about how
the person that made the food may not of washed their hands)
---------------------------------
Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha!
Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My 4yo recently asked why he has to wear clothes before going in the front yard, and I was uncomfortable having to explain why...the best I could do is say, "because people don't like to see other people naked!" BAH! I botched it, I know, but I, too, don't want to make him feel that something's wrong with HIS body. I'll be glad to hear other's perspectives on this subject, too.
As for handwashing, I'm a handwashing fool. I do insist that my son wash his hands before meal prep, but I've let go of the chasing him with hand sanitizing gel everytime he picks his nose! I've gotten to where I base my handwashing requests on his activity. Playing with/feeding the dog=handwashing. Toileting=handwashing. Playing with his baby brother=pre-handwashing (because he always wants to put his finger in his mouth!)
Otherwise, I let it go, and figure a little bit of bacteria is what keeps his immune system in-check.
Kendrah Nilsestuen <carebear-79@...> wrote:
Hi all,
I have two questions here that I'm looking for advice and perspective
on.
Nudity- How do you guys explain having to wear clothes in public
(like at the a store) to your kiddos? I don't want her (haven't had
to worry about it with my son yet) to be ashamed of her naked body,
and by telling her to wear clothes I feel like I'm saying something
is wrong with you, so cover it up. I usually have said something like
"For some reason some people aren't comfortable seeing other people
naked, so stores have rules that we have to wear clothes to shop
there." Or something like this. Also, what about in your own yard? At
home inside she can be as nude as she wants but if she's goes in the
front yard I have her put on undies at least. This weekend she went
out into the back naked. I was okay with that but then neighbors on
both sides came out and I was uncomfortable with her being naked with
them outside. I'm not sure if it was because other's could see her
naked. I know if I saw a kid running around naked in their backyard
I'd think it was cute. I certainly wouldn't have judgement, and even
if I did (which I wouldn't) it wouldn't matter because it is their
backyard! I don't have fear that everyone who looks at my daughter is
some sort of creep. Maybe it is just a societal thing imbedded in to
me since childhood, who knows. So how do you guys handle it? How do
you explain having to wear clothes in public, without sending the
message that a naked body is wrong? How about in the yard of your own
home? Clothes or no clothes?
Washing hands- My daughter hates to wash her hands, no doubt because
I've asked her to do it so much. I wash my hands frequently, but I
know I likely didn't as a child. Here's my thing, I can't make her
wash her hands. They are her hands and if she doesn't want to that is
her right. However, If she wants to help me cook I tell her I need
her to wash her hands in order to. Sometimes she will, most often she
doesn't. Does that seem reasonable? It is your freedom to touch and
eat your food without washing your hands, but if you want to help
cook food for the rest of the family, or share my food they need to
be washed. As a four year old her hands go many places. She wipes
herself (pee, not poop), dirt, things at the park, the store, any
place on her body she has decided to explore. It just doesn't seem
unreasonable to me to request that hands be washed. I have a really
hard time with the not washing hands thing. I think I may be slightly
obsessive about washing my own. Yesterday she wanted to eat some
cereal dry right out of the box and I told her she could if she
washed her hands, but if not I'd put it in a bowl for her. My thing
is I don't want to make her feel dirty or unwanted because she
doesn't have clean hands. It seems reasonable to request that hands
be washed but I want to convey it to her in a way that doesn't make
her feel bad. I nicely as I can say "I'd love to have your help
cooking, lets go wash our hands and get started." If she turns me
down I say that it is important we wash our hands before dealing with
food for the family. I also know that someday she'll be able to reach
the cereal box on her own and whether she has washed her hands or not
she will eat it out of there. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance.
Kendrah-mama to Payge 4 y/o, Damien 15 months
(who rarely eats out because the whole time she's thinking about how
the person that made the food may not of washed their hands)
---------------------------------
Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha!
Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Yahoo! Games.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Myra
Hi -
When my boys were younger, I'd buy a bunch of really oversized t-shirts
for them to wear. I mean, they'd hang down to their knees! I'd get
all sorts of colors and cute pictures on the front esp. at tourist-y
spots when we were on vacation. I'd have them wear those to bed and
when they got up in the morning if they didn't want to get dressed then
they were ready to go with the big shirts on! I didn't care what was
on underneath as far as underwear went because no one could see if it
was a diaper or pull-up or underwear or nothing!
And as far as germs go.....I'm pretty lenient except when we're around
other kids or out in public. I guess I figure our germs were okay, but
others could get us sick! I always have on hand some nice smelling
hand santitizer gel for those times. (Here in the U.S. - Body and Bath
at the malls have all worts of scents and colors that my kids love -
worth the extra bit of cost as they like using them - no fussing!)
Myra
When my boys were younger, I'd buy a bunch of really oversized t-shirts
for them to wear. I mean, they'd hang down to their knees! I'd get
all sorts of colors and cute pictures on the front esp. at tourist-y
spots when we were on vacation. I'd have them wear those to bed and
when they got up in the morning if they didn't want to get dressed then
they were ready to go with the big shirts on! I didn't care what was
on underneath as far as underwear went because no one could see if it
was a diaper or pull-up or underwear or nothing!
And as far as germs go.....I'm pretty lenient except when we're around
other kids or out in public. I guess I figure our germs were okay, but
others could get us sick! I always have on hand some nice smelling
hand santitizer gel for those times. (Here in the U.S. - Body and Bath
at the malls have all worts of scents and colors that my kids love -
worth the extra bit of cost as they like using them - no fussing!)
Myra