just wanted to say thanks
Geneva
I posted a couple of weeks ago about my 4 yo and some issues we were having
with her. I received a few replies from some of you here and I just wanted
to pop in and say thank you.
I think I posted about my frustration and my feelings of sending everyone to
FT daycare so I could get myself back together on a Thursday.by Saturday I
was in bed with a mother case of mastitis. By the time Monday came around I
still felt like crap and my oldest had a case of Strep that had been treated
with antibiotics and was still on day 17.he already has a heart murmur so
you can imagine my level of fear and stress!
I was too ill to get him to the dr so dh took him - found out it was not
strep afterall and I was on the mend by Tuesday.
I posted here during the peak of my frustration (so I thought) but it
actually got worse. I had plenty of time to reflect on the posts I received
here and I also had some time to just "be" and reflect on everything.
Honestly the mastitis came at the perfect time (doesn't it always?).
This is what I did to get back on track.
#1)went from about 1 pot of strong coffee per day to NO COFFEEEEEEE!!!
I did not realize my caffeine consumption was a problem. For me it produces
lots of energy but it was a type of energy that is not productive when
trying to be patient and calm. It was mopre of a "gotta go gotta go" type
of energy that resulted in lots and lots of cleaning as if I were in a
cleaning race yet I was never able to finish the race which led to lots of
frustration and not enough "be"ing with my kids during the day. I think the
coffee was feeding my feelings of dh getting to be the fun parent as I would
bust ass being productive all day and then he would come home and get
tackled for playtime.while I picked up the kitchen!
I felt that I was spending time with my kids.we were together all day,
rushing to playdates and dance/gym classes and running to other social
engagements but not enough time just laying about and seeing which project
would naturally come up next.
Of course the caffeine probably didn't help my mastits either so that is a
thing of the past for me.
I've always been a coffee girl, even during my pregnancies and since I've
birthed big fat healthy babies who sleep well and are not often fussy I
assumed we were in good shape. You can't really tell until you get off the
hard stuff that it is really not good for gentle parenting.even if everyone
sleeps well inspite of it, it is still not ideal. So that's that.
#2) kobe and I have spent more alone time together and have talked a lot
more. I see an awakening in her and it has really been beautiful. Now,
when she needs ore attention - she flat out asks for it. I am so proud of
her. She has expressed to me that all she wants to do is just chill out
with me. I am so happy that she can just tell me now vs a few weeks ago.
I could elaborate more but I think I will leave it at this. Most of her
issues that I posted here a few weeks ago were actually my issues, and mine
alone. I am so thankful for that bout of mastits because without it I don't
think I would have had the time or shall I say taken the time to mull it all
over. We all know what causes mastits but for some reason I really didn't
see it coming.
I just wanted to thank all of you for your insight and for taking time to
share with me - it has literally been life changing.
Xo
Geneva
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
with her. I received a few replies from some of you here and I just wanted
to pop in and say thank you.
I think I posted about my frustration and my feelings of sending everyone to
FT daycare so I could get myself back together on a Thursday.by Saturday I
was in bed with a mother case of mastitis. By the time Monday came around I
still felt like crap and my oldest had a case of Strep that had been treated
with antibiotics and was still on day 17.he already has a heart murmur so
you can imagine my level of fear and stress!
I was too ill to get him to the dr so dh took him - found out it was not
strep afterall and I was on the mend by Tuesday.
I posted here during the peak of my frustration (so I thought) but it
actually got worse. I had plenty of time to reflect on the posts I received
here and I also had some time to just "be" and reflect on everything.
Honestly the mastitis came at the perfect time (doesn't it always?).
This is what I did to get back on track.
#1)went from about 1 pot of strong coffee per day to NO COFFEEEEEEE!!!
I did not realize my caffeine consumption was a problem. For me it produces
lots of energy but it was a type of energy that is not productive when
trying to be patient and calm. It was mopre of a "gotta go gotta go" type
of energy that resulted in lots and lots of cleaning as if I were in a
cleaning race yet I was never able to finish the race which led to lots of
frustration and not enough "be"ing with my kids during the day. I think the
coffee was feeding my feelings of dh getting to be the fun parent as I would
bust ass being productive all day and then he would come home and get
tackled for playtime.while I picked up the kitchen!
I felt that I was spending time with my kids.we were together all day,
rushing to playdates and dance/gym classes and running to other social
engagements but not enough time just laying about and seeing which project
would naturally come up next.
Of course the caffeine probably didn't help my mastits either so that is a
thing of the past for me.
I've always been a coffee girl, even during my pregnancies and since I've
birthed big fat healthy babies who sleep well and are not often fussy I
assumed we were in good shape. You can't really tell until you get off the
hard stuff that it is really not good for gentle parenting.even if everyone
sleeps well inspite of it, it is still not ideal. So that's that.
#2) kobe and I have spent more alone time together and have talked a lot
more. I see an awakening in her and it has really been beautiful. Now,
when she needs ore attention - she flat out asks for it. I am so proud of
her. She has expressed to me that all she wants to do is just chill out
with me. I am so happy that she can just tell me now vs a few weeks ago.
I could elaborate more but I think I will leave it at this. Most of her
issues that I posted here a few weeks ago were actually my issues, and mine
alone. I am so thankful for that bout of mastits because without it I don't
think I would have had the time or shall I say taken the time to mull it all
over. We all know what causes mastits but for some reason I really didn't
see it coming.
I just wanted to thank all of you for your insight and for taking time to
share with me - it has literally been life changing.
Xo
Geneva
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~I could elaborate more but I think I will leave it at this. Most of
her issues that I posted here a few weeks ago were actually my issues,
and mine alone.~~
Isn't that interesting? I admit to learning the same thing over the
years...most everything that frustrated me was really about ME. Not
playing the blame game, but looking within is really the answer.
The more I grew into RU, the more I realized it's about the parents
changing, about us seeing things with new eyes and adjusting our OWN
behavior not our children's.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
her issues that I posted here a few weeks ago were actually my issues,
and mine alone.~~
Isn't that interesting? I admit to learning the same thing over the
years...most everything that frustrated me was really about ME. Not
playing the blame game, but looking within is really the answer.
The more I grew into RU, the more I realized it's about the parents
changing, about us seeing things with new eyes and adjusting our OWN
behavior not our children's.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Karen Ahern
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen" <starsuncloud@...>
wrote:
"wanting the best" for my kids, that it eventuated into CHOOSING those
things FOR my kids (i.e. healthy, pure foods) when *I* was eating a lot
of junk food on my own when the kids weren't watching!! We have
behavioural issues with certain foods (although I've not been able to
ascertain specifics), so I've always been really controlling about food
(with good reason, really - my son can get quite violent in his food
reactions!). But the end result is that the kids CRAVE junk food and go
beserk when they have the opportunity to eat it. Now I"m beginning to
get worried that they'll end up with all these food issues when they get
older. I mean, if nothing else, I imagine there'll be a LOT of bingeing
going on!! I really do want the best for my kids, and for them only to
consume natural, healthy food (or "treat" foods that don't have
artificial chemicals in them) BUT..... I always try to sneak some
chocolate into the trolley for me!! We buy colour-less vanilla ice
cream for the kids, and my DH & I eat Sara Lee Chocolate when the
kids've gone to bed!! I'm becoming painfully aware of how hypocritical
this is. I'm expecting one thing of them, but doing another thing
myself. And how do I expect them to learn to listen to their bodies and
make wise, healthy choices once they leave home, if I'M making all those
choices FOR them now!! I look around me at the shops and I see the
typical adult buying lots of junk food and binge eating. I wonder how
different their food obsession would be if they'd been allowed to choose
freely from a smorgasbord of food options when they were growing up?
I had originally thought that perhaps I could just keep the
fridge/cupboard stocked with healthy food choices, and lighten the
control on when/where they can eat (I mean, seriously, my husband gets
cranky at them if he sees them eating an APPLE! "Who did you ask if you
could eat that???" "It's nearly dinner time; you just can't eat that
now!" "You've got to ask first; you can't just go helping yourself to
food whenever you want to!" "You can't live on white bread and peanut
butter - make a salad sandwich for yourself and your siblings!"). But I
still have the craving issue at the shops, or when we're out with
friends (which is often).
Now I'm thinking that perhaps the most important thing of all is ME
MODELLING WISE FOOD CHOICES!!!!! I can't just expect THEM to do it
while I eat whatever I like - terrible eating habits, actually! I also
need to stock more of a VARIETY OF FOODS in the pantry etc - even
perhaps some "junk" food??? But what about the behaviour issues that
seemingly result from most artificial additives etc. Surely I should
keep those foods out of the house, and try to provide information
whenwe're out and he's wanting to make unhealthy food choices!
Anyway, keen for some thoughts on this issue!
Thanks, Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wrote:
>Oh Ren, this is TRUE! TRUE! TRUE! I've always been so focussed on
> I admit to learning the same thing over the
> years...most everything that frustrated me was really about ME. Not
> playing the blame game, but looking within is really the answer.
>
> The more I grew into RU, the more I realized it's about the parents
> changing, about us seeing things with new eyes and adjusting our OWN
> behavior not our children's.:)
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
"wanting the best" for my kids, that it eventuated into CHOOSING those
things FOR my kids (i.e. healthy, pure foods) when *I* was eating a lot
of junk food on my own when the kids weren't watching!! We have
behavioural issues with certain foods (although I've not been able to
ascertain specifics), so I've always been really controlling about food
(with good reason, really - my son can get quite violent in his food
reactions!). But the end result is that the kids CRAVE junk food and go
beserk when they have the opportunity to eat it. Now I"m beginning to
get worried that they'll end up with all these food issues when they get
older. I mean, if nothing else, I imagine there'll be a LOT of bingeing
going on!! I really do want the best for my kids, and for them only to
consume natural, healthy food (or "treat" foods that don't have
artificial chemicals in them) BUT..... I always try to sneak some
chocolate into the trolley for me!! We buy colour-less vanilla ice
cream for the kids, and my DH & I eat Sara Lee Chocolate when the
kids've gone to bed!! I'm becoming painfully aware of how hypocritical
this is. I'm expecting one thing of them, but doing another thing
myself. And how do I expect them to learn to listen to their bodies and
make wise, healthy choices once they leave home, if I'M making all those
choices FOR them now!! I look around me at the shops and I see the
typical adult buying lots of junk food and binge eating. I wonder how
different their food obsession would be if they'd been allowed to choose
freely from a smorgasbord of food options when they were growing up?
I had originally thought that perhaps I could just keep the
fridge/cupboard stocked with healthy food choices, and lighten the
control on when/where they can eat (I mean, seriously, my husband gets
cranky at them if he sees them eating an APPLE! "Who did you ask if you
could eat that???" "It's nearly dinner time; you just can't eat that
now!" "You've got to ask first; you can't just go helping yourself to
food whenever you want to!" "You can't live on white bread and peanut
butter - make a salad sandwich for yourself and your siblings!"). But I
still have the craving issue at the shops, or when we're out with
friends (which is often).
Now I'm thinking that perhaps the most important thing of all is ME
MODELLING WISE FOOD CHOICES!!!!! I can't just expect THEM to do it
while I eat whatever I like - terrible eating habits, actually! I also
need to stock more of a VARIETY OF FOODS in the pantry etc - even
perhaps some "junk" food??? But what about the behaviour issues that
seemingly result from most artificial additives etc. Surely I should
keep those foods out of the house, and try to provide information
whenwe're out and he's wanting to make unhealthy food choices!
Anyway, keen for some thoughts on this issue!
Thanks, Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
oum rayan
Wow, I'm right there with you sister. I've improved (miraculously) about the junk food on the side. It's only happened this week, actually, when I looked at how rediculous I look sneaking junk food on the side so my son won't see it and ask for what I prefer his body not ingest. If it's not good for him, why the heck am I stuffing my face with it? I made a rule for myself : If I grab a handfull of chocolate morsels, I take one to my son. If I make a bowl of icecream, I get him one, too. I've lost 5 lbs this week !
We still have the issue of what my DH affectionately calls 'the Lisa syndrome', whereby each time we leave the house, I am suddenly starving and want to stop by a fast food place. I'm better, but my son has LS now! I haven't implemented anything yet, but I think I'll start packing a fun snack for when we leave the house. He loves the YoBaby's 'YoKids' organic yogurt in the pouches. Let me tell you, THAT alone has changed my son's daily request for snacks. He usually would beg for a cookie or icecream anytime he was hungry (for a long time that was how he expressed hunger), but now he wants yoghurt. It's all in the packaging, and he thinks he's getting away with something!
Anyway, good luck! I hope you find a solution that works for you. If so, let me know...maybe it'll help here, too!
Lisa O
Karen Ahern <gktbdm@...> wrote:
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen" <starsuncloud@...>
wrote:
"wanting the best" for my kids, that it eventuated into CHOOSING those
things FOR my kids (i.e. healthy, pure foods) when *I* was eating a lot
of junk food on my own when the kids weren't watching!! We have
behavioural issues with certain foods (although I've not been able to
ascertain specifics), so I've always been really controlling about food
(with good reason, really - my son can get quite violent in his food
reactions!). But the end result is that the kids CRAVE junk food and go
beserk when they have the opportunity to eat it. Now I"m beginning to
get worried that they'll end up with all these food issues when they get
older. I mean, if nothing else, I imagine there'll be a LOT of bingeing
going on!! I really do want the best for my kids, and for them only to
consume natural, healthy food (or "treat" foods that don't have
artificial chemicals in them) BUT..... I always try to sneak some
chocolate into the trolley for me!! We buy colour-less vanilla ice
cream for the kids, and my DH & I eat Sara Lee Chocolate when the
kids've gone to bed!! I'm becoming painfully aware of how hypocritical
this is. I'm expecting one thing of them, but doing another thing
myself. And how do I expect them to learn to listen to their bodies and
make wise, healthy choices once they leave home, if I'M making all those
choices FOR them now!! I look around me at the shops and I see the
typical adult buying lots of junk food and binge eating. I wonder how
different their food obsession would be if they'd been allowed to choose
freely from a smorgasbord of food options when they were growing up?
I had originally thought that perhaps I could just keep the
fridge/cupboard stocked with healthy food choices, and lighten the
control on when/where they can eat (I mean, seriously, my husband gets
cranky at them if he sees them eating an APPLE! "Who did you ask if you
could eat that???" "It's nearly dinner time; you just can't eat that
now!" "You've got to ask first; you can't just go helping yourself to
food whenever you want to!" "You can't live on white bread and peanut
butter - make a salad sandwich for yourself and your siblings!"). But I
still have the craving issue at the shops, or when we're out with
friends (which is often).
Now I'm thinking that perhaps the most important thing of all is ME
MODELLING WISE FOOD CHOICES!!!!! I can't just expect THEM to do it
while I eat whatever I like - terrible eating habits, actually! I also
need to stock more of a VARIETY OF FOODS in the pantry etc - even
perhaps some "junk" food??? But what about the behaviour issues that
seemingly result from most artificial additives etc. Surely I should
keep those foods out of the house, and try to provide information
whenwe're out and he's wanting to make unhealthy food choices!
Anyway, keen for some thoughts on this issue!
Thanks, Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Yahoo! Autos new Car Finder tool.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We still have the issue of what my DH affectionately calls 'the Lisa syndrome', whereby each time we leave the house, I am suddenly starving and want to stop by a fast food place. I'm better, but my son has LS now! I haven't implemented anything yet, but I think I'll start packing a fun snack for when we leave the house. He loves the YoBaby's 'YoKids' organic yogurt in the pouches. Let me tell you, THAT alone has changed my son's daily request for snacks. He usually would beg for a cookie or icecream anytime he was hungry (for a long time that was how he expressed hunger), but now he wants yoghurt. It's all in the packaging, and he thinks he's getting away with something!
Anyway, good luck! I hope you find a solution that works for you. If so, let me know...maybe it'll help here, too!
Lisa O
Karen Ahern <gktbdm@...> wrote:
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen" <starsuncloud@...>
wrote:
>Oh Ren, this is TRUE! TRUE! TRUE! I've always been so focussed on
> I admit to learning the same thing over the
> years...most everything that frustrated me was really about ME. Not
> playing the blame game, but looking within is really the answer.
>
> The more I grew into RU, the more I realized it's about the parents
> changing, about us seeing things with new eyes and adjusting our OWN
> behavior not our children's.:)
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
"wanting the best" for my kids, that it eventuated into CHOOSING those
things FOR my kids (i.e. healthy, pure foods) when *I* was eating a lot
of junk food on my own when the kids weren't watching!! We have
behavioural issues with certain foods (although I've not been able to
ascertain specifics), so I've always been really controlling about food
(with good reason, really - my son can get quite violent in his food
reactions!). But the end result is that the kids CRAVE junk food and go
beserk when they have the opportunity to eat it. Now I"m beginning to
get worried that they'll end up with all these food issues when they get
older. I mean, if nothing else, I imagine there'll be a LOT of bingeing
going on!! I really do want the best for my kids, and for them only to
consume natural, healthy food (or "treat" foods that don't have
artificial chemicals in them) BUT..... I always try to sneak some
chocolate into the trolley for me!! We buy colour-less vanilla ice
cream for the kids, and my DH & I eat Sara Lee Chocolate when the
kids've gone to bed!! I'm becoming painfully aware of how hypocritical
this is. I'm expecting one thing of them, but doing another thing
myself. And how do I expect them to learn to listen to their bodies and
make wise, healthy choices once they leave home, if I'M making all those
choices FOR them now!! I look around me at the shops and I see the
typical adult buying lots of junk food and binge eating. I wonder how
different their food obsession would be if they'd been allowed to choose
freely from a smorgasbord of food options when they were growing up?
I had originally thought that perhaps I could just keep the
fridge/cupboard stocked with healthy food choices, and lighten the
control on when/where they can eat (I mean, seriously, my husband gets
cranky at them if he sees them eating an APPLE! "Who did you ask if you
could eat that???" "It's nearly dinner time; you just can't eat that
now!" "You've got to ask first; you can't just go helping yourself to
food whenever you want to!" "You can't live on white bread and peanut
butter - make a salad sandwich for yourself and your siblings!"). But I
still have the craving issue at the shops, or when we're out with
friends (which is often).
Now I'm thinking that perhaps the most important thing of all is ME
MODELLING WISE FOOD CHOICES!!!!! I can't just expect THEM to do it
while I eat whatever I like - terrible eating habits, actually! I also
need to stock more of a VARIETY OF FOODS in the pantry etc - even
perhaps some "junk" food??? But what about the behaviour issues that
seemingly result from most artificial additives etc. Surely I should
keep those foods out of the house, and try to provide information
whenwe're out and he's wanting to make unhealthy food choices!
Anyway, keen for some thoughts on this issue!
Thanks, Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Yahoo! Autos new Car Finder tool.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]