Re: [unschoolingbasics] pitfalls to avoid
Sharon Thomas
>>>>What are the pitfalls to avoid?<<<<Hanging around strict school-at-homers (doh!) and looking at curriculum
catalogues. Using school-think and school-speak. Thinking that one kind of
learning (academic) is more important than all other kinds. It ALL counts!
Kelly,
I love this!!! To see it in print really hits home.Hanging around with
strict homeschoolers is a biggy for me.Especially if we have had a difficult
week and I am feeling like "what are we learning?"
Next is a curriculum magazine.....always seems to be one item that
grabs my attention. I imagine what would end it all though is to ask the
kids "does this look interesting?"LOL
Being with other homeschoolers gives my kids time out to play.Most of our
friends are relaxed but there does get to be a point where the topic goes to
"too much tv. or video games" etc and I feel out of place. We were very
strict on it and have begun to lighten up and the feeling I get from the
discussion is.....it's not being a responsible parent to allow all those
freedoms.
Depending on how I am feeling I can either shrug it off or begin to
question myself.Not fun.Does this happen to anyone here and if so what do
you do?
sharon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/3/2004 3:19:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
meplusfive@... writes:
Depending on how I am feeling I can either shrug it off or begin to
question myself.Not fun.Does this happen to anyone here and if so what do
you do?<<<<
"Depending on how I'm feeling"----well then I wouldn't even GO if I were
feeling vulnerable.
But, then again, now I just don't go! <g>
Well, I went for months and months. Mostly I spent my time fielding
unschooling questions form a bunch of school-at-homers (doh!)----they always wanted
to know what *my* kids were doing. (Nobody ever asked *them* what their kids
were doing! <G>)
After a while, Duncan had made friends with a couple of kids, so we just
started asking *them* to go to the park with us.
Park days were a great way to meet more people, but I found that none of us
enjoyed them after a year of the same ol'-same ol'. The moms were mean, the
kids were mean (but not as mean as the schooled kids that would show up some
days). We're happier just inviting one other family at a time to do a park day
now. But we now have a base to chose from. Park days are a GREAT way to meet
other homeschooling families and decide which ones to spend more time with.
There are two groups: one in Greenville, SC and a NC group----they have SO
many unschoolers and relaxed, peaceful moms that we've been known to crash
their park days and field trips because they're so much fun! <G> I have to drive
two hours or so, but it's worth it!
My advice would be to put up flyers in your town----at health food stores,
at Le Leche League meetings---you know, places that "alternative types" hang
out! <g> Advertise a park day for unschoolers. Start a yahoo e-group like this
one---anyone can start one---and advertise on local homeschooling e-lists
that you are starting an unschoolers' group. They'll show up! Just ask Pam G.
and Priss and Ren---they've all done it with huge success!
There ARE unschoolers where you are; they're just scared or closeted or
unsure---and *positive* they're the ONLY ones! DO something about it! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
meplusfive@... writes:
Depending on how I am feeling I can either shrug it off or begin to
question myself.Not fun.Does this happen to anyone here and if so what do
you do?<<<<
"Depending on how I'm feeling"----well then I wouldn't even GO if I were
feeling vulnerable.
But, then again, now I just don't go! <g>
Well, I went for months and months. Mostly I spent my time fielding
unschooling questions form a bunch of school-at-homers (doh!)----they always wanted
to know what *my* kids were doing. (Nobody ever asked *them* what their kids
were doing! <G>)
After a while, Duncan had made friends with a couple of kids, so we just
started asking *them* to go to the park with us.
Park days were a great way to meet more people, but I found that none of us
enjoyed them after a year of the same ol'-same ol'. The moms were mean, the
kids were mean (but not as mean as the schooled kids that would show up some
days). We're happier just inviting one other family at a time to do a park day
now. But we now have a base to chose from. Park days are a GREAT way to meet
other homeschooling families and decide which ones to spend more time with.
There are two groups: one in Greenville, SC and a NC group----they have SO
many unschoolers and relaxed, peaceful moms that we've been known to crash
their park days and field trips because they're so much fun! <G> I have to drive
two hours or so, but it's worth it!
My advice would be to put up flyers in your town----at health food stores,
at Le Leche League meetings---you know, places that "alternative types" hang
out! <g> Advertise a park day for unschoolers. Start a yahoo e-group like this
one---anyone can start one---and advertise on local homeschooling e-lists
that you are starting an unschoolers' group. They'll show up! Just ask Pam G.
and Priss and Ren---they've all done it with huge success!
There ARE unschoolers where you are; they're just scared or closeted or
unsure---and *positive* they're the ONLY ones! DO something about it! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren
"They'll show up! Just ask Pam G.
and Priss and Ren---they've all done it with huge success! "
Yep.
I'm still pinching myself, because I can NOT believe how many interesting, open minded homeschoolers there are in Pencacola. For those of you that don't know the area, it's part of the Bible belt/deep south where strict Baptists and spanking parents rule.
The main homeschool support group is a Christian group, very intolerant of unschoolers. I really thought we'd only know a couple folks that would understand, but I got online and found a couple other families besides us.
That has now grown into a group that is very busy and active (except in the summer unfortunately, when we dwindle off to just a few) with EIGHT unschooling families. Three of the unschooling families are totally RADICAL and we love hanging out together frequently.
Ah, and then there's a couple folks up in Milton and Mobile that I expect to see this year...so we may have more radical unschoolers amongst us.:)
One of them is considering a move to P'cola (hey Millie?)
The homeschoolers that hang out with us are either fairly relaxed/eclectic or very open minded about unschooling. To each his own kinda thing. So I'm really glad we started this group and my kids are thrilled to have a range of friends that don't get offended by their South Park humor and choice of games.
Ren
Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
and Priss and Ren---they've all done it with huge success! "
Yep.
I'm still pinching myself, because I can NOT believe how many interesting, open minded homeschoolers there are in Pencacola. For those of you that don't know the area, it's part of the Bible belt/deep south where strict Baptists and spanking parents rule.
The main homeschool support group is a Christian group, very intolerant of unschoolers. I really thought we'd only know a couple folks that would understand, but I got online and found a couple other families besides us.
That has now grown into a group that is very busy and active (except in the summer unfortunately, when we dwindle off to just a few) with EIGHT unschooling families. Three of the unschooling families are totally RADICAL and we love hanging out together frequently.
Ah, and then there's a couple folks up in Milton and Mobile that I expect to see this year...so we may have more radical unschoolers amongst us.:)
One of them is considering a move to P'cola (hey Millie?)
The homeschoolers that hang out with us are either fairly relaxed/eclectic or very open minded about unschooling. To each his own kinda thing. So I'm really glad we started this group and my kids are thrilled to have a range of friends that don't get offended by their South Park humor and choice of games.
Ren
Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
Tina
"So I'm really glad we started this group and my kids are thrilled to
have a range of friends that don't get offended by their South Park
humor and choice of games."
Thanks for sharing that! I cannot wait for the day that we have
people around us like that. So many people don't understand my son's
sense of humor! It's over their heads most of the time. <g> It will
be so refreshing when we actually have people around that can relate.
Tina
have a range of friends that don't get offended by their South Park
humor and choice of games."
Thanks for sharing that! I cannot wait for the day that we have
people around us like that. So many people don't understand my son's
sense of humor! It's over their heads most of the time. <g> It will
be so refreshing when we actually have people around that can relate.
Tina
Crystal
Park days were a great way to meet more people, but I found that
none of us enjoyed them after a year of the same ol'-same ol'. The
moms were mean, the kids were mean (but not as mean as the schooled
kids that would show up some days).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We've encountered this too. We were part of a teen game group--the
point of the group was for teens to get together to play games, no
schoolwork allowed. One day a mom brought her daughter's math
because she had been resisting doing it that day. So while the
other kids played games this girl sat with her mom doing math. At
one point the mom litterally screamed at her, "you know this, why
can't you do it?". I wanted to tell her that if she knew the girl
knew it, then why did she have to keep doing it, but I didn't know
the mom well enough to speak up. It totally ruined the mood of that
day and my kids didn't want to go back after that.
Then we moved and met up with another group of school-at-homers for
their outings and park days. They had a co-op but I told them my
kids wouldn't be interested. Since these kids knew each other since
birth they were very mean to my daughter, the new kid. None of
those kids had ever been to school, either. They were just mean by
nature, I guess. We spent a half a year with this group, but after
Christmas break my kids didn't want to do things with them anymore.
So now we just do things alone--well not alone, I have 3 kids and 2
grandkids so we're a group all by ourselves. One of the reasons we
wanted to join that group was because we just moved to this area and
we didn't know what there was to do around here. Not everything
gets advertised in the paper. But, we're surviving without them and
being with them has given my kids a distorted view of
what "homeschooled kids" are like. The unschooled kids that I met
at the conference were just SO different from the school at home
kids. We have lots of unschoolers in my state, though, and I have
no problem travelling to meet them.
Crystal
none of us enjoyed them after a year of the same ol'-same ol'. The
moms were mean, the kids were mean (but not as mean as the schooled
kids that would show up some days).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We've encountered this too. We were part of a teen game group--the
point of the group was for teens to get together to play games, no
schoolwork allowed. One day a mom brought her daughter's math
because she had been resisting doing it that day. So while the
other kids played games this girl sat with her mom doing math. At
one point the mom litterally screamed at her, "you know this, why
can't you do it?". I wanted to tell her that if she knew the girl
knew it, then why did she have to keep doing it, but I didn't know
the mom well enough to speak up. It totally ruined the mood of that
day and my kids didn't want to go back after that.
Then we moved and met up with another group of school-at-homers for
their outings and park days. They had a co-op but I told them my
kids wouldn't be interested. Since these kids knew each other since
birth they were very mean to my daughter, the new kid. None of
those kids had ever been to school, either. They were just mean by
nature, I guess. We spent a half a year with this group, but after
Christmas break my kids didn't want to do things with them anymore.
So now we just do things alone--well not alone, I have 3 kids and 2
grandkids so we're a group all by ourselves. One of the reasons we
wanted to join that group was because we just moved to this area and
we didn't know what there was to do around here. Not everything
gets advertised in the paper. But, we're surviving without them and
being with them has given my kids a distorted view of
what "homeschooled kids" are like. The unschooled kids that I met
at the conference were just SO different from the school at home
kids. We have lots of unschoolers in my state, though, and I have
no problem travelling to meet them.
Crystal
Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese
"None of those kids had ever been to school, either. They were just mean
by nature, I guess .... The unschooled kids that I met at the conference
were
just SO different from the school at home kids. "
Wow, this really made me think. Since I don't tend to think that children
are mean "naturally" at all, but by something they learn or experience, I
wonder if it's the case that the forced structuring, whether it be school at
school or strict school at home, somehow generates this mean quality in many
children. When I think of what it takes for a child to be "mean", to
ostracize others, I wonder... could be the parents do this also, so it's
modeling. But since Crystal noticed this difference, I also wonder if there
is something sort of inherently "mean" about forcing children to do what
they do not wish to do - whether they get forced at home by carrots at the
end of the rope or in some other way, they are being pushed down a path that
is not what is true to who they are and they are not in control of stopping
that. Someone who feels "oppressed" in this way, I can see why they might
be "mean" - because what they are learning is that it's good to be the one
in control, it's good to be the one who has the carrots, and they are trying
to grab onto that any way they can. Maybe that is yet another excellent
reason to unschool.
Joan
by nature, I guess .... The unschooled kids that I met at the conference
were
just SO different from the school at home kids. "
Wow, this really made me think. Since I don't tend to think that children
are mean "naturally" at all, but by something they learn or experience, I
wonder if it's the case that the forced structuring, whether it be school at
school or strict school at home, somehow generates this mean quality in many
children. When I think of what it takes for a child to be "mean", to
ostracize others, I wonder... could be the parents do this also, so it's
modeling. But since Crystal noticed this difference, I also wonder if there
is something sort of inherently "mean" about forcing children to do what
they do not wish to do - whether they get forced at home by carrots at the
end of the rope or in some other way, they are being pushed down a path that
is not what is true to who they are and they are not in control of stopping
that. Someone who feels "oppressed" in this way, I can see why they might
be "mean" - because what they are learning is that it's good to be the one
in control, it's good to be the one who has the carrots, and they are trying
to grab onto that any way they can. Maybe that is yet another excellent
reason to unschool.
Joan