erica
Lorrie
I don't think thats what Ren is saying at all. I think its more of the
issue of opening communication with our children at an early age and
building trust (in each other) so that they don't feel that they have to
sneak around when they get older. If the communication had been open at a
young age she and her parents would have been able to have a reasonable and respectful discussion about dating and she probably would have come to the conclusion on her own about whether she was ready to date ot not. I know that when I was 13 or 14 they had school dances and groups going to movies and such. Its hard to be part of that when you're "not allowed" to be. I
hope that makes sense...
Since you know nothing about this family or the way they lived and what they did or did not discuss, you really cannot make a judgment on them.
The girl always wanted her way whether or not it was good for her or bad. It is just the way she was at that time. I am not saying this because I assume it, I know it. It wasn't the fact that she could not go out in groups with boys and girls. She was allowed to do that plenty of times. It was the fact that this 18 year old boy was pursuing a relationship with her, and they being normal, loving parents, did not want her to be alone with a guy that age.
Like I have said before, I am sure there was more to it then his age, but that isn't for me, or anyone else to make a judgment on.
.
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issue of opening communication with our children at an early age and
building trust (in each other) so that they don't feel that they have to
sneak around when they get older. If the communication had been open at a
young age she and her parents would have been able to have a reasonable and respectful discussion about dating and she probably would have come to the conclusion on her own about whether she was ready to date ot not. I know that when I was 13 or 14 they had school dances and groups going to movies and such. Its hard to be part of that when you're "not allowed" to be. I
hope that makes sense...
Since you know nothing about this family or the way they lived and what they did or did not discuss, you really cannot make a judgment on them.
The girl always wanted her way whether or not it was good for her or bad. It is just the way she was at that time. I am not saying this because I assume it, I know it. It wasn't the fact that she could not go out in groups with boys and girls. She was allowed to do that plenty of times. It was the fact that this 18 year old boy was pursuing a relationship with her, and they being normal, loving parents, did not want her to be alone with a guy that age.
Like I have said before, I am sure there was more to it then his age, but that isn't for me, or anyone else to make a judgment on.
.
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-----Original Message-----
From: Lorrie <iamhisservant4ever@...>
Since you know nothing about this family or the way they lived and what
they did
or did not discuss, you really cannot make a judgment on them.
The girl always wanted her way whether or not it was good for her or
bad. It is
just the way she was at that time.
-=-=-=-=-
We ALL want our way whether it's good for us or bad. That's just the
way humans are. This child is no different because she's 14! We start
out that way, and we go out that way.
=-=-=-==-=-
I am not saying this because I assume it, I know it.
-=-=-=-
I know it too. It's a human condition.
-=-=-=-=-
It wasn't the fact that she could not go out in groups with boys and
girls. She was allowed to do that plenty of times.
-=-=-=-=-
Going out in groups does not mean she had freedom.
It also doesn't prevent OR ensure she won't have sex.
-=-==-
It was the fact that this 18
year old boy was pursuing a relationship with her, and they being
normal, loving
parents, did not want her to be alone with a guy that age.
-=-=-=-=-
He was a *stalker*? Or you meant "pursuing" as he wouldn't stop seeing
her?
I don't think so. She seemed to want to be with him, sneaking him in
and all.
-=-=-=-=-
Like I have said before, I am sure there was more to it then his age,
but that
isn't for me, or anyone else to make a judgment on.
-=-=-=-
You seem happy to judge the girl and her boyfriend. No blame on the
parents though!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: Lorrie <iamhisservant4ever@...>
Since you know nothing about this family or the way they lived and what
they did
or did not discuss, you really cannot make a judgment on them.
The girl always wanted her way whether or not it was good for her or
bad. It is
just the way she was at that time.
-=-=-=-=-
We ALL want our way whether it's good for us or bad. That's just the
way humans are. This child is no different because she's 14! We start
out that way, and we go out that way.
=-=-=-==-=-
I am not saying this because I assume it, I know it.
-=-=-=-
I know it too. It's a human condition.
-=-=-=-=-
It wasn't the fact that she could not go out in groups with boys and
girls. She was allowed to do that plenty of times.
-=-=-=-=-
Going out in groups does not mean she had freedom.
It also doesn't prevent OR ensure she won't have sex.
-=-==-
It was the fact that this 18
year old boy was pursuing a relationship with her, and they being
normal, loving
parents, did not want her to be alone with a guy that age.
-=-=-=-=-
He was a *stalker*? Or you meant "pursuing" as he wouldn't stop seeing
her?
I don't think so. She seemed to want to be with him, sneaking him in
and all.
-=-=-=-=-
Like I have said before, I am sure there was more to it then his age,
but that
isn't for me, or anyone else to make a judgment on.
-=-=-=-
You seem happy to judge the girl and her boyfriend. No blame on the
parents though!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
Erica Iwamura
Since you know nothing about this family or the way they lived and what they
did or did not discuss, you really cannot make a judgment on them.
I didn't think I did make any judgement. I made general statements that
apply to ANY family and may have applied to this family also. Guess that
didn't come through in the e-mail.
Erica
did or did not discuss, you really cannot make a judgment on them.
I didn't think I did make any judgement. I made general statements that
apply to ANY family and may have applied to this family also. Guess that
didn't come through in the e-mail.
Erica
On 6/8/07, kbcdlovejo@... <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Lorrie <iamhisservant4ever@...<iamhisservant4ever%40yahoo.com>
> >
>
> Since you know nothing about this family or the way they lived and what
> they did
> or did not discuss, you really cannot make a judgment on them.
> The girl always wanted her way whether or not it was good for her or
> bad. It is
> just the way she was at that time.
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> We ALL want our way whether it's good for us or bad. That's just the
> way humans are. This child is no different because she's 14! We start
> out that way, and we go out that way.
>
> =-=-=-==-=-
>
> I am not saying this because I assume it, I know it.
>
> -=-=-=-
>
> I know it too. It's a human condition.
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> It wasn't the fact that she could not go out in groups with boys and
> girls. She was allowed to do that plenty of times.
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> Going out in groups does not mean she had freedom.
>
> It also doesn't prevent OR ensure she won't have sex.
>
> -=-==-
>
> It was the fact that this 18
> year old boy was pursuing a relationship with her, and they being
> normal, loving
> parents, did not want her to be alone with a guy that age.
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> He was a *stalker*? Or you meant "pursuing" as he wouldn't stop seeing
> her?
>
> I don't think so. She seemed to want to be with him, sneaking him in
> and all.
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> Like I have said before, I am sure there was more to it then his age,
> but that
> isn't for me, or anyone else to make a judgment on.
>
> -=-=-=-
>
> You seem happy to judge the girl and her boyfriend. No blame on the
> parents though!
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
>
> __________________________________________________________
> AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
> from AOL at AOL.com.
>
>
--
They say I'm Crazy but I Have a Good Time - Joe Walsh
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