Sharissa13

I have two boys... one 8 and one 5. Recently the 5
year old (Alex) has been displaying some very bad
behavior. Even some relatives (good people, trust me)
have mentioned his attitude lately. We were staying in
a hotel recently with some of these relatives, and
they have an 8 month old baby. The mom was getting the
baby ready for a nap, and told Alex he needed to go
back to his room, so that the baby could sleep. Alex
refused.

That is only one incident of several lately. He's
become increasingly insistent on getting his own way,
resistent to following orders, and laughs at anyone
who tries to reason with him. In the last two weeks,
he has hurt his brother repeatedly (hit him with a
seat belt, with a stick, with his hand, and broke his
brother's eardrum with a game piece). Scot, the older
brother, has been amazingly well behaved... hasn't hit
his brother back or anything during this time.

It's hard for me to understand... I never had a
brother (nor other experiences with young boys), and
Scot never went through a phase like this. I don't
believe that violence (hitting, spanking, etc) is the
answer. My parents liked the method of "knocking some
sense into me" and I believe that is completely
counter-productive. But I am also at my wit's end. Bad
enough that he behaves like this for me and my
husband, but now expanding that to others and
hurting/injuring his brother.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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[email protected]

What else is going on in his life?

A move? Divorce? Death? Some other major change?

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org

-----Original Message-----
From: sharissa13@...

I have two boys... one 8 and one 5. Recently the 5
year old (Alex) has been displaying some very bad
behavior. Even some relatives (good people, trust me)
have mentioned his attitude lately. We were staying in
a hotel recently with some of these relatives, and
they have an 8 month old baby. The mom was getting the
baby ready for a nap, and told Alex he needed to go
back to his room, so that the baby could sleep. Alex
refused.

That is only one incident of several lately. He's
become increasingly insistent on getting his own way,
resistent to following orders, and laughs at anyone
who tries to reason with him. In the last two weeks,
he has hurt his brother repeatedly (hit him with a
seat belt, with a stick, with his hand, and broke his
brother's eardrum with a game piece). Scot, the older
brother, has been amazingly well behaved... hasn't hit
his brother back or anything during this time.

It's hard for me to understand... I never had a
brother (nor other experiences with young boys), and
Scot never went through a phase like this. I don't
believe that violence (hitting, spanking, etc) is the
answer. My parents liked the method of "knocking some
sense into me" and I believe that is completely
counter-productive. But I am also at my wit's end. Bad
enough that he behaves like this for me and my
husband, but now expanding that to others and
hurting/injuring his brother.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Sharissa13 <sharissa13@...>
wrote:
> He's
> become increasingly insistent on getting his own way,
> resistent to following orders,

Why are you giving orders? I'd be resistent, too, and neither one of
my kids would put up with that kind of behavior.

I'm sure I'll have more to say later, but I have a date with Mo and
the trampoline!

---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)

Joanne

Hello,

"Behavior is the language of a childs emotions".

Your son is communicating with you. His behavior is his language.

Don't pay any mind to what other people think. These other relatives
are not as important as your son. The fact that you mentioned them
in your post makes me wonder if you're more concerned with how they
view him (or your parenting) than being there for your son.

How much opportunity does he have to run around and let off steam?
Can your husband get on the floor with him and wrestle?
Have there been any changes in your family life lately?

Also, keep in mind..he's only five. He's only been on this planet
for five short years. He's still trying to figure things out. Be
there with him and help him with that. Don't only step in after the
fact or when it gets physical.

I hope some of this helps.

~ Joanne ~
Add your voice ~ Unschooling Voices
http://tinyurl.com/26pt6x





--- In [email protected], Sharissa13
<sharissa13@...> wrote:
>
> I have two boys... one 8 and one 5. Recently the 5
> year old (Alex) has been displaying some very bad
> behavior. Even some relatives (good people, trust me)
> have mentioned his attitude lately. We were staying in
> a hotel recently with some of these relatives, and
> they have an 8 month old baby. The mom was getting the
> baby ready for a nap, and told Alex he needed to go
> back to his room, so that the baby could sleep. Alex
> refused.
>
> That is only one incident of several lately. He's
> become increasingly insistent on getting his own way,
> resistent to following orders, and laughs at anyone
> who tries to reason with him. In the last two weeks,
> he has hurt his brother repeatedly (hit him with a
> seat belt, with a stick, with his hand, and broke his
> brother's eardrum with a game piece). Scot, the older
> brother, has been amazingly well behaved... hasn't hit
> his brother back or anything during this time.
>
> It's hard for me to understand... I never had a
> brother (nor other experiences with young boys), and
> Scot never went through a phase like this. I don't
> believe that violence (hitting, spanking, etc) is the
> answer. My parents liked the method of "knocking some
> sense into me" and I believe that is completely
> counter-productive. But I am also at my wit's end. Bad
> enough that he behaves like this for me and my
> husband, but now expanding that to others and
> hurting/injuring his brother.
>
> Any suggestions would be appreciated.
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>

Robin Bentley

I wouldn't consider this off-topic, since unschooling is about a whole life,
not just an educational method <g>.



If this is unusual for Alex, you might want to consider what's going on in
his world right now. Any changes in *your* life? Any stresses? How did
you handle the first "incident"?



I'm wondering if you think "getting his own way" is a bad thing? It doesn't
have to be at others' expense. You can all get your "own way".



Robin B.

In the sunny (at the moment) Pacific Northwest





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Sharissa13
<sharissa13@...> wrote:
>>In the last two weeks,
> he has hurt his brother repeatedly (hit him with a
> seat belt, with a stick, with his hand, and broke his
> brother's eardrum with a game piece).

Its really important that everyone in your family can be safe. Drop
whatever else you need to so you can spend more time with the boys,
run interferrence where necessary, but most importantly, figure out
what's going on that's causing the 5yo to lash out.

As Joanne already pointed out, behavior is a means of communication -
what is Alex trying to communicate? If this isn't the norm for him,
he's probably *been* trying to communicate in other ways *first*.
Somehow you are missing that - are you extra busy? tired?
distracted? what's new in your life? Spending more time with the
kids - really being attentive to them, not doing housework or
whatever in the same room - you will have the opportunity to see
more of what's leading up to this behavior and find some patterns.
Are some of his needs not being met? Is he tired, hungry,
overwhelmed?

> He's
> become increasingly insistent on getting his own way,
> resistent to following orders, and laughs at anyone
> who tries to reason with him.

What does "trying to reason" with a 5yo look like in your house? It
may be that Alex sees someone trying to reason with him as a power-
play. After all, it *is* an effort to explain why he can't do/have
what he wants - its only natural that he would respond with a power
play of his own, like laughing. In the same way, its natural that he
would respond to orders with resistance. From his perspective,
adults "get their own way" ALOT. Why shouldn't he want a piece of
the action. He's clever.

To break this pattern, step away from the idea of his way -vs- your
way. Look for the underlying need Alex is trying to express, and
find a way to help him meet that need that is respectful of the
needs of those around him, preferably early enough that he's not
getting frustrated in the process.

> We were staying in
> a hotel recently with some of these relatives, and
> they have an 8 month old baby. The mom was getting the
> baby ready for a nap, and told Alex he needed to go
> back to his room, so that the baby could sleep. Alex
> refused.

Here's how that thinking process could go with the above example -
why does Alex need to go to another room, presumably by himself?
Could someone go with him? Could someone help him find something
quiet to do in the same room as the baby? Would he like to help
settle the baby? Could the other mom take the baby to another room
if all the fun stuff (tv, whatever) was in that particular room?
Could you offer to take Alex to the pool, or for a walk or drive?
Would he like to explore the hotel with you?

The main thing is to start from a place of trying to honor
everyone's needs - Alex's need to play (or play loudly) *and* the
baby's need to sleep.

---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)

Sharissa13

That's just the thing... nothing has changed recently.
They used to fight, and I tried to rack it up as the
typical sibling thing... but then Scot stopped
fighting and has really been very good lately
(manners, no fighting, etc) while Alex has only gotten
worse. But there's been no deaths, divorce, no change
of schedule. we've been trying to give him attention
and include him in our work (my husband is an artist
and also works on cars, and I sew belly dance
costumes, cook, etc) but it never is enough. He'll lie
and insist that we promised to play a game with him,
or get him chicken nuggets from Burger King. He's
starting to lie all the time anymore.

His newest thing, in the last week or two is burping.
As loud as possible. Then he grins and excuses
himself. A few minutes later he burps again. Then
again. Over and over until he's told "that's enough
burping." He'll keep doing it anyways. I can't take
him into any store without him demanding that I buy
him something. And if I don't (which I normally don't,
no matter what).. he breaks down into a crying/whining
fit. Then we'll get in the car and he'll demand that I
buy him chicken nuggets, and try to insist that I
promised him.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him, but
he's driving me crazy.

__________________________________________________
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pjhaenny

Have you considered a possible alergy? There is a video by Dr. Doris
Rapp where she exposes children to different things, mostly indoor
air from schools but also cleaning products and food items they are
allergic to, and you would be surprised with the resulting behavior.
Aggressiveness was high on the list of reactions. She has a center to
help people, I'm sure you could find it with a google search, its
worth taking a look.

Janice (Parker 7)
--- In [email protected], Sharissa13
<sharissa13@...> wrote:
>
> That's just the thing... nothing has changed recently.
> They used to fight, and I tried to rack it up as the
> typical sibling thing... but then Scot stopped
> fighting and has really been very good lately
> (manners, no fighting, etc) while Alex has only gotten
> worse. But there's been no deaths, divorce, no change
> of schedule. we've been trying to give him attention
> and include him in our work (my husband is an artist
> and also works on cars, and I sew belly dance
> costumes, cook, etc) but it never is enough. He'll lie
> and insist that we promised to play a game with him,
> or get him chicken nuggets from Burger King. He's
> starting to lie all the time anymore.
>
> His newest thing, in the last week or two is burping.
> As loud as possible. Then he grins and excuses
> himself. A few minutes later he burps again. Then
> again. Over and over until he's told "that's enough
> burping." He'll keep doing it anyways. I can't take
> him into any store without him demanding that I buy
> him something. And if I don't (which I normally don't,
> no matter what).. he breaks down into a crying/whining
> fit. Then we'll get in the car and he'll demand that I
> buy him chicken nuggets, and try to insist that I
> promised him.
>
> I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him, but
> he's driving me crazy.
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>

Manisha Kher

--- Sharissa13 <sharissa13@...> wrote:

we've been trying to give him attention
> and include him in our work (my husband is an artist
> and also works on cars, and I sew belly dance
> costumes, cook, etc) but it never is enough. He'll
> lie
> and insist that we promised to play a game with him,
> or get him chicken nuggets from Burger King. He's
> starting to lie all the time anymore.
I think he needs more focussed attention - you doing
what he wants to do. I have a 5 yr old who needs a lot
of attention and sometimes I feel like no matter how
much I do it's not enough. But from his point of view
it's truly not enough. He would like to be with me 24
hrs a day! He hates it that I go to work.


> His newest thing, in the last week or two is
> burping.
> As loud as possible. Then he grins and excuses
> himself. A few minutes later he burps again. Then
> again. Over and over until he's told "that's enough
> burping." He'll keep doing it anyways.
This cracked me up. Honestly I would just ignore the
burping.

I can't take
> him into any store without him demanding that I buy
> him something. And if I don't (which I normally
> don't,
> no matter what).. he breaks down into a
> crying/whining
> fit.
Why no matter what? Why not give him an allowance or
tell him what you can afford on that trip. Maybe he
doesn't like going shopping. You could sweeten the
deal by giving him a special treat.

Manisha

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Su Penn

I wonder if temperamental things that were easier to deal with in
the past are becoming more complex now. That's been true with my son,
whom I experienced as an incredibly easy baby and toddler, but who
became challenging for me starting around the age of 3 (he's almost 6
now). In retrospect, I can see that some of the things that feed his
challenging behaviors now were present when he was a baby and
toddler, but were simply easier to address when our lives were so
simple and I was more in charge of him and the environment. For
instance, he has what we call "random energy" times when he's less
ordered and controlled in his behavior; since about 3, these times
are really hard for us, and we haven't found a magic bullet for
dealing with it--he gets into these moods and he won't accept any
alternatives. One example: last night at dinner, he was dropping a
plastic disk onto the table to hear it land and rattle. It started to
really bug his dad, who asked him to either stop doing it, or take it
to the coffee table a few feet away. He refused to do either. That's
really typical when he's in that kind of mood. When he isn't in
"random energy" mode, he not only accepts that kind of problem-
solving but is really good at being the one who comes up with solutions.

When he was little, if he was having "random energy" I could deal
with it by simply finding something to focus his energy. We used to
go to the library, where he would play with the train table for a
long time. Or I could put him onto my bed with one basket of toys of
one type, and the reduced stimulation would allow him to play happily
there for an hour or more. It wasn't until I had a second kid who
didn't have "random energy" times as a baby and toddler, and who
didn't need me to intervene to modify his environment for him in that
way, that I realized that Eric wasn't actually all that easy a baby
and toddler! And as Eric has gotten older and his world has gotten
bigger and more complex, it hasn't been as easy for me to see what
will help--or to make it happen if I have an idea that I think would.
He might refuse a suggestion that I'm pretty sure would help, for
instance.

A couple of things that have helped me:

Not everyone likes these books, and I think it's best to skip the
"discipline" parts, but the "Your X-Year-Old" books have been helpful
for us in recognizing that Eric's behaviors are generally normal for
his age. I remember reading the Your 4-Year-Old one, and by the sixth
or seventh page, I called my partner on the phone and said, "I have a
diagnosis for Eric! Apparently, he's four!" The Your 6-Year-Old book
has accurately described some new behaviors of Eric's, a kind of
constant bouncy moving energy--he almost never sits still these days--
and that has helped me just let go of any attempts to make him sit
still while he's eating or being read to, for instance, or when we're
talking and he's bouncing off the walls and furniture (literally)
while we talk. Some parents are really gifted at just accepting their
kids as they are, and recognizing patterns of behavior on their own,
but I find it helpful sometimes to look at developmental guides like
that--thoughtfully and with my bullshit filters turned on "high."

Even though Eric isn't really "explosive" per se, I recently read the
book "Your Explosive Child" and found it really helpful. It
reinforced the idea of lowering the global frustration level of a kid
who is easily frustrated, for instance. It also reinforced my own
ideas that Eric's behavior when he's in "random energy" mode (the
author calls it "vapor lock") can't be judged by the same standards
as when he's more ordered. Yesterday, for instance, Eric called me a
"fuckin' buckin!" and I just let it go by, because when he is not in
RE mode, he is a respectful and affectionate kid. Also, the idea that
it takes an inflexible kid PLUS an inflexible parent to create a
meltdown.

On May 1, 2007, at 9:12 AM, Sharissa13 wrote:

> but it never is enough.

It can be hard when you feel like "no matter what I do, it's not
enough for him." We have that here, sometimes, because Eric has a
hard time (sometimes) transitioning away from beloved activities. I
just said to my partner David yesterday, "I push him on the swings,
and during the time we're swinging, other parents come and go and
come and go and come and go with their kids...he gets pushed on the
swings more than any other kid I've ever seen and he still gets mad
when I say I have to stop!" A lecture I haven't given him yet but
that I sometimes feel bubbling up is the "you don't know how good
you've got it" lecture. Hopefully we can get through his whole
childhood without it.

It can help, for both of us, if sometimes I discipline myself to do
something with him until he's done. It hardly seems possible, but
there have actually been times when he's said, "I'm done swinging"
and gone off to do something else! It helps him, because he feels
like he gets enough. It helps me, because I see that there _is_ an
"enough" for him, that he is not really an infinite drain on my
energy and resources.

> His newest thing, in the last week or two is burping.
> As loud as possible. Then he grins and excuses
> himself. A few minutes later he burps again. Then
> again. Over and over until he's told "that's enough
> burping." He'll keep doing it anyways.

How possible is it for you to just ignore this kind of thing? It
doesn't hurt anybody. Some people might not even find it annoying.
Scott Noelle (http://www.enjoyparenting.com/) sent out a "Daily
Groove" awhile ago that asked parents to imagine that they are aliens
who don't know the social norms. He asked something like, "How would
you feel if you just didn't know the thing your kid is doing was
supposed to be annoying?" That has really stuck with me. Sometimes,
with Eric, I just breathe deeply and let things flow on by (and
sometimes I turn into a raging volcano of irritated nerves, but I'm
working on it).

> I can't take
> him into any store without him demanding that I buy
> him something.

Eric's got neophilia big time--he likes new stuff. Even if,
sometimes, it's almost exactly like his old stuff. We were getting
into some conflict about spending money on stuff every time we went
grocery shopping. I usually only had a few dollars, so he was getting
a lot of cheap stuff that wasn't holding his attention, but he didn't
want to wait and save up for something cooler. I was getting
frustrated at the proliferation of cheap toys that weren't getting
played with. Some things that have helped:

1. I figured out that I could do the grocery shopping every other
week instead of every week. So now, he only asks for something new
half as often! It's not the only reason I experimented with bi-weekly
grocery shopping, but it's been a really nice side benefit.

2. I started setting aside a monthly amount of money for him (and
Carl) to spend on whatever they wanted. Eric doesn't want an
allowance per se, but I'm sort of thinking of it that way. When I do
our monthly budgeting, I think about how much I can afford for that.
I tell Eric what it is. Because it's a "per month" amount, it allows
them to buy something bigger if they want. Eric has been fine about
accepting that there's then less money later in the month (so far).
It also helps me not be arbitrary--letting them spend more if I'm in
a generous mood but being stingy if I'm feeling frustrated about all
the plastic on the living room floor at home. I don't have to make a
case-by-case "yes" or "no" decision. It keeps me mellower.

> And if I don't (which I normally don't,
> no matter what)

Even if you have money for something, I wonder? Maybe he needs to
hear "yes" more than he is. Are there good reasons why you can't buy
him things now and again?

> .. he breaks down into a crying/whining
> fit.

It helps me to avoid words like "fit." You didn't say "throw a fit"
or "pitch a fit" but those are phrases I've had to be on guard
against. I try to use more neutral language: "It's hard for him to
accept 'no.' He becomes really frustrated and cries and
whines." ("whine" is a really loaded word, too, but sometimes it's
the only accurate one, IME.)

> Then we'll get in the car and he'll demand that I
> buy him chicken nuggets,

Do you resist "demands"? Is there a good reason he can't have chicken
nuggets?

> and try to insist that I
> promised him.

The lying stuff is hard to take, but if he's hearing "no" too much,
it may be his way of trying to get to a "yes" sometimes. Maybe he
needs his cup filled up a bit more. It's counter-intuitive, but
giving him what he's asking for more for awhile--even when it's hard
for you, even when you're tired and have needs of your own you're
having to put on hold--can get the two of you to a better place. At
least, it can with Eric. At least, it lets me spend more time with
the Eric I enjoy.

I am not as good at this as I should be, but when my own meter is
running low, it helps if I can draw on other resources (adults, my
partner) to top me off rather than pulling back from giving to the kids.

Sometimes when we're having a rough time, I clear the calendar and
try to spend a few days doing things he enjoys and where he can be
"in charge." A trip to the zoo, for instance, where he gets to say
what animals we visit and for how long.

It's not easy--nothing with Eric has been a magic fix. We haven't
been able to reliably identify triggers for this kind of mood, though
tiredness is definitely one. So I don't want you to take anything I'm
saying as coming from someone who solved this problem and has a magic
perfect relationship with her kid. It's definitely ongoing for us.

Su

Kathleen Gehrke

--- In [email protected], Manisha Kher <m_kher@...>
wrote:
>
>
> --- Sharissa13 <sharissa13@...> wrote:
>
> we've been trying to give him attention
> > and include him in our work (my husband is an artist
> > and also works on cars, and I sew belly dance
> > costumes, cook, etc) but it never is enough. He'll
> > lie
> > and insist that we promised to play a game with him,
> > or get him chicken nuggets from Burger King. He's
> > starting to lie all the time anymore.
> I think he needs more focussed attention - you doing
> what he wants to do. I have a 5 yr old who needs a lot
> of attention and sometimes I feel like no matter how
> much I do it's not enough. But from his point of view
> it's truly not enough. He would like to be with me 24
> hrs a day! He hates it that I go to work.
>
>
> > His newest thing, in the last week or two is
> > burping.
> > As loud as possible. Then he grins and excuses
> > himself. A few minutes later he burps again. Then
> > again. Over and over until he's told "that's enough
> > burping." He'll keep doing it anyways.
> This cracked me up. Honestly I would just ignore the
> burping.
>
> I can't take
> > him into any store without him demanding that I buy
> > him something. And if I don't (which I normally
> > don't,
> > no matter what).. he breaks down into a
> > crying/whining
> > fit.
>
Sounds like you guys are engaged in a major power struggle. You are
busy trying to make his behavior acceptable to you and he is pushing
it hard.

I am concerned that your boys have polarized.. The older one is the
good one and younger the bad. He is getting lots of attention and
focus with lots of emotional energy by being the bad boy...

Five year old boys are often out of control. I think it is a step in
becoming autonomous.

I would watch for his hints that he is going to have a conflict with
his brothers and step in and offer to mediate. Or if he just seems
to be owly help keep them seperated till son number two works out
his feelings. Not in a punitive way, but a diversionary way.

I would strongly caution you to label his imagination as lying. I
think that is an age where fantasy and reality are not always clear.
I would think about nourishing his fantasy and ask more about it. He
will identify that it is fantasy at some point. Perhaps add to it
with him with open ended questions. As he gets into making the
fantasy bigger you can nourish that by offering to write it down so
people can enjoy his great story.

It sounds like you have a very smart and creative boy. Folks like
that are not always easily managed but well worth the effort.

Kathleen
Hoping she has not said to much.

Julie

I have two girls 4 and 2 and the older one can play with herself of
a long while but little sister needs physical activity a lot more as
well as one on one interaction. When my girls start fighting with
each other there are time when dad will do tickle and roughhouse
with them and then they go off and play together again. Food too
might be an issue as well. Is he getting regular balanced meals? I
notice this with my little one. If she is just eating sugar and
carbs then she acts out more than if she is eating protien. Maybe he
is getting attention by being the "bad" one and if you pay more
attention to the good stuff the bad might lessen. Also have you
asked him why he is acting this way maybe he can tell you what is
going on if you really have a good talk with him.

Julie


--- In [email protected], Sharissa13
<sharissa13@...> wrote:
>
> I have two boys... one 8 and one 5. Recently the 5
> year old (Alex) has been displaying some very bad
> behavior. Even some relatives (good people, trust me)
> have mentioned his attitude lately. We were staying in
> a hotel recently with some of these relatives, and
> they have an 8 month old baby. The mom was getting the
> baby ready for a nap, and told Alex he needed to go
> back to his room, so that the baby could sleep. Alex
> refused.
>
> That is only one incident of several lately. He's
> become increasingly insistent on getting his own way,
> resistent to following orders, and laughs at anyone
> who tries to reason with him. In the last two weeks,
> he has hurt his brother repeatedly (hit him with a
> seat belt, with a stick, with his hand, and broke his
> brother's eardrum with a game piece). Scot, the older
> brother, has been amazingly well behaved... hasn't hit
> his brother back or anything during this time.
>
> It's hard for me to understand... I never had a
> brother (nor other experiences with young boys), and
> Scot never went through a phase like this. I don't
> believe that violence (hitting, spanking, etc) is the
> answer. My parents liked the method of "knocking some
> sense into me" and I believe that is completely
> counter-productive. But I am also at my wit's end. Bad
> enough that he behaves like this for me and my
> husband, but now expanding that to others and
> hurting/injuring his brother.
>
> Any suggestions would be appreciated.
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
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>

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Su Penn <supenn@...> wrote:
>the "Your X-Year-Old" books have been helpful
> for us in recognizing that Eric's behaviors are generally normal
for
> his age. I remember reading the Your 4-Year-Old one, and by the
sixth
> or seventh page, I called my partner on the phone and said, "I
have a
> diagnosis for Eric! Apparently, he's four!"

ROTFLMAO!
I've been lucky to have a friend with an active dd a year older than
Mo, so I get a year-ahead "preview". That's really helpful for these
sorts of things. Ray's so *much* older I don't remember at what age
he did things, and our parenting was so different, I'm not always
sure what was developmental and what was the result of trying to be
and authoritative parent to a high-energy kid.

The burping thing, btw, sounds very "5" to me. It was for Savannah
and it is for Morgan.

---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)

Kathleen Gehrke

--- In [email protected], "Meredith" <meredith@...>
wrote:
>

> The burping thing, btw, sounds very "5" to me. It was for Savannah
> and it is for Morgan.


Olivia is seven and if she can belch and make Ty nine yell she is
thrilled.

Kathleen

Robin Bentley

I had the good fortune to hear Scott Noelle speak at the LIFE is Good
conference in OR. Perhaps some of his writings might be helpful.



http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/practicing-peace

plus the links from that page.



Getting his "Daily Groove" email each day in my inbox is a gentle reminder
of the path I wish to tread.



And of course, Sandra Dodd's extensive page on Peaceful Parenting, which has
links written by many unschooling parents. Something there may be useful,
too.



http://sandradodd.com/peacefulparenting



Robin B.





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