Webkinz/emailing strangers
Leslie Kowalski
Hi all,
My 7 yo dh has a stuffed animal from a company called Webkinz. As
far as I can tell, it is a craze around here. Every child I meet
lately has multiple Webkinz animals. Anyway, it's a 'beanie baby"-
type stuffed animal that you buy at the store. It comes with a tag
that has a code that you can use on the internet. Once you register
you can take care of your animal - feed it, bathe it, buy items for
it, etc. You generate "money" to buy these things by playing games
and winning points.
Well, based on many of the recent threads on this list, I've been
trying really hard to be relaxed about this game, as well as computer
use in general, which I have made some strides on. So, I decided to
try to appreciate certain benefits of the game, and I found some.
For example, it has been a very social outlet for her, enabling her
to talk to some children she had a harder time with in the past.
Another example would be the day she came to me and was telling me
about someone who had 500,000 points and I realized that she had seen
and understood that number.
One aspect of the website is that you can email friends on your
"friends list" (it's essentially an Instant Messaging training
system). I was fine with this because she was getting the names of
her friends and putting them on her list. But now I found out that
you can go to a "Tournament Arena", play games against others (that
you don't know) and "meet" them. She was telling me about someone
she was playing against (a game involving putting on dress-up clothes
on your animal) and that this person asked Tess to be on her friends
list. Tess said, "I said no, but I hope she asks me again because
I'll say yes next time".
So, I realized that she is imagining this person as a "girl",
probably as a 7 yo girl just like her, and that this is a friend
(just like a 7 yo girl that she might meet in the park and become
"instant friends" with for the moment that we are at the park). But
I started thinking that we really have no idea who this person is
(when it's the park situation you really do know that the stranger is
a 7 yo girl because you can see her, and become her "friend", but on
the internet this person could be absolutely anyone. But, she has an
image in her mind of safety.
So, I told her that talking to people on the internet is just like
meeting someone in the store or the park (for example Tess will not
tell someone her name when she meets them unless she checks with me
first) and that I would like to explore this part of Webkinz with her
before she adds anyone to her list.
Yesterday, I saw her list and it's got a lot of people on it. Some
of them are strangers she has met online (she told me), some of them
are our neighbors and other friends. I decided not to say much,
because she was in the middle of a playdate, but I would like to talk
to her about this more. I didn't get a chance to talk to her before
bed and now I've woken up in the middle of the night and I can't go
back to sleep because it's on my mind.
I should say that the only email communication that I see on this
website is from pre-programmed lists of messages that you choose
from. But, I don't know the website well enough, yet, to know if she
can type in her own messages. Even if the communication is strictly
pre-programmed, I am concerned about a slippery slope effect. I
worry that this is dulling her to the idea that she can talk to
anyone on the internet, and making it feel very safe for her.
Thanks for any advice/comments you all have!
Leslie (in NJ)
My 7 yo dh has a stuffed animal from a company called Webkinz. As
far as I can tell, it is a craze around here. Every child I meet
lately has multiple Webkinz animals. Anyway, it's a 'beanie baby"-
type stuffed animal that you buy at the store. It comes with a tag
that has a code that you can use on the internet. Once you register
you can take care of your animal - feed it, bathe it, buy items for
it, etc. You generate "money" to buy these things by playing games
and winning points.
Well, based on many of the recent threads on this list, I've been
trying really hard to be relaxed about this game, as well as computer
use in general, which I have made some strides on. So, I decided to
try to appreciate certain benefits of the game, and I found some.
For example, it has been a very social outlet for her, enabling her
to talk to some children she had a harder time with in the past.
Another example would be the day she came to me and was telling me
about someone who had 500,000 points and I realized that she had seen
and understood that number.
One aspect of the website is that you can email friends on your
"friends list" (it's essentially an Instant Messaging training
system). I was fine with this because she was getting the names of
her friends and putting them on her list. But now I found out that
you can go to a "Tournament Arena", play games against others (that
you don't know) and "meet" them. She was telling me about someone
she was playing against (a game involving putting on dress-up clothes
on your animal) and that this person asked Tess to be on her friends
list. Tess said, "I said no, but I hope she asks me again because
I'll say yes next time".
So, I realized that she is imagining this person as a "girl",
probably as a 7 yo girl just like her, and that this is a friend
(just like a 7 yo girl that she might meet in the park and become
"instant friends" with for the moment that we are at the park). But
I started thinking that we really have no idea who this person is
(when it's the park situation you really do know that the stranger is
a 7 yo girl because you can see her, and become her "friend", but on
the internet this person could be absolutely anyone. But, she has an
image in her mind of safety.
So, I told her that talking to people on the internet is just like
meeting someone in the store or the park (for example Tess will not
tell someone her name when she meets them unless she checks with me
first) and that I would like to explore this part of Webkinz with her
before she adds anyone to her list.
Yesterday, I saw her list and it's got a lot of people on it. Some
of them are strangers she has met online (she told me), some of them
are our neighbors and other friends. I decided not to say much,
because she was in the middle of a playdate, but I would like to talk
to her about this more. I didn't get a chance to talk to her before
bed and now I've woken up in the middle of the night and I can't go
back to sleep because it's on my mind.
I should say that the only email communication that I see on this
website is from pre-programmed lists of messages that you choose
from. But, I don't know the website well enough, yet, to know if she
can type in her own messages. Even if the communication is strictly
pre-programmed, I am concerned about a slippery slope effect. I
worry that this is dulling her to the idea that she can talk to
anyone on the internet, and making it feel very safe for her.
Thanks for any advice/comments you all have!
Leslie (in NJ)
[email protected]
We love Webkinz. My kids spend a lot of time *working*, spending,
redecorating, building and playing with others. They love the Wheel of WOW and Gem
Hunt. From the many hours I've spent on Webkinz, I see no threat of danger. My
only problem with it is the burger making job. I keep having visions of my
daughter working at McDonalds as she is excelling at the Webkin burger job and
making big $.
Since members of this list have forced me to question my own fears (pet store
guy and abduction threads a few weeks back) I think its good to be clearly in
touch with our fears and to be mindful not to pass them onto our children.
Worst case on Webkinz might be that a 42 year old is playing and your
daughter's webkin visits his pool and shares some chicken nuggets. He can't strip her
webkin of its bathing suit or drive to your house. My daughter says to have
no fear because your daughter would have to want to go to visit another Webkin.
The players get to decide.
Enjoy your time together,
Robin in MA
************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
redecorating, building and playing with others. They love the Wheel of WOW and Gem
Hunt. From the many hours I've spent on Webkinz, I see no threat of danger. My
only problem with it is the burger making job. I keep having visions of my
daughter working at McDonalds as she is excelling at the Webkin burger job and
making big $.
Since members of this list have forced me to question my own fears (pet store
guy and abduction threads a few weeks back) I think its good to be clearly in
touch with our fears and to be mindful not to pass them onto our children.
Worst case on Webkinz might be that a 42 year old is playing and your
daughter's webkin visits his pool and shares some chicken nuggets. He can't strip her
webkin of its bathing suit or drive to your house. My daughter says to have
no fear because your daughter would have to want to go to visit another Webkin.
The players get to decide.
Enjoy your time together,
Robin in MA
************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], Leslie Kowalski
<lrkowalski@...> wrote:
something a new friend has told him and wants to share. So we listen
and chit-chat with him and learn about what he's doing and who he's
meeting that way. He knows that people aren't always who/what they
say they are bc sometimes he's not, either. He tells us that too. He
plays different ages and genders depending on his mood. He doesnsn't
see that as weird or creepy - its a game. Part of the fun is
pretending to be something you're not.
Ray's girlfriend's mom regulates her my-space "friends" and screens
her email. So the girl gets up in the middle of the night and uses a
different name so her mom can't track her. Her mom is trying to
protect her, but is creating a *more* dangerous situation. If this
girl comes across something that disturbs her she's certainly not
going to tell mom.
Ask your dd what she enjoys playing and who her friends are bc you
want to support her and share her delight. Certainly you can let her
know that sometimes people pretend to be somebody else online, but I
wouldn't try to scare her. If she's comfortable sharing her
experiences she'll let you know if someone is acting oddly or being
rude online. If you are talking about your own online experiences
you'll have opportunities to complain about trolls or spammers or
share how sometimes you can tell when a dad posts on a parenting
board even if he's using his dw's email address.
The internet is a great way to meet people. Sure, people aren't
always who they say they are - you have no guarantee that *I'm*
somebody's mom or an unschooler - how can you tell?
---Meredith (or am I?)
<lrkowalski@...> wrote:
> I started thinking that we really have no idea who this person isis
> (when it's the park situation you really do know that the stranger
> a 7 yo girl because you can see her, and become her "friend", buton
> the internet this person could be absolutely anyone. But, she hasan
> image in her mind of safety.Ray meets people on Runescape pretty often. He's often excited about
something a new friend has told him and wants to share. So we listen
and chit-chat with him and learn about what he's doing and who he's
meeting that way. He knows that people aren't always who/what they
say they are bc sometimes he's not, either. He tells us that too. He
plays different ages and genders depending on his mood. He doesnsn't
see that as weird or creepy - its a game. Part of the fun is
pretending to be something you're not.
> I am concerned about a slippery slope effect. II see a different slippery slope.
> worry that this is dulling her to the idea that she can talk to
> anyone on the internet, and making it feel very safe for her.
Ray's girlfriend's mom regulates her my-space "friends" and screens
her email. So the girl gets up in the middle of the night and uses a
different name so her mom can't track her. Her mom is trying to
protect her, but is creating a *more* dangerous situation. If this
girl comes across something that disturbs her she's certainly not
going to tell mom.
Ask your dd what she enjoys playing and who her friends are bc you
want to support her and share her delight. Certainly you can let her
know that sometimes people pretend to be somebody else online, but I
wouldn't try to scare her. If she's comfortable sharing her
experiences she'll let you know if someone is acting oddly or being
rude online. If you are talking about your own online experiences
you'll have opportunities to complain about trolls or spammers or
share how sometimes you can tell when a dad posts on a parenting
board even if he's using his dw's email address.
The internet is a great way to meet people. Sure, people aren't
always who they say they are - you have no guarantee that *I'm*
somebody's mom or an unschooler - how can you tell?
---Meredith (or am I?)
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: meredith@...
The internet is a great way to meet people. Sure, people aren't
always who they say they are - you have no guarantee that *I'm*
somebody's mom or an unschooler - how can you tell?
---Meredith (or am I?)
-=-=-=-
Yeah, "Meredith"---or whoEVER she is---just changed her email address.
So *I* am not really sure she's who she says she is.
Hmmmm.....
~Kelly <g>
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: meredith@...
The internet is a great way to meet people. Sure, people aren't
always who they say they are - you have no guarantee that *I'm*
somebody's mom or an unschooler - how can you tell?
---Meredith (or am I?)
-=-=-=-
Yeah, "Meredith"---or whoEVER she is---just changed her email address.
So *I* am not really sure she's who she says she is.
Hmmmm.....
~Kelly <g>
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
Erica Iwamura
We have been looking for Webkinz for my 2 boys but can't find them anywhere
around here! If anyone sees a couple in their area we would be grateful if
they would grab them for us and I can send the money plus shipping.
Erica
around here! If anyone sees a couple in their area we would be grateful if
they would grab them for us and I can send the money plus shipping.
Erica
On 4/17/07, kbcdlovejo@... <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: meredith@... <meredith%40quilted.net>
>
> The internet is a great way to meet people. Sure, people aren't
> always who they say they are - you have no guarantee that *I'm*
> somebody's mom or an unschooler - how can you tell?
>
> ---Meredith (or am I?)
>
> -=-=-=-
>
> Yeah, "Meredith"---or whoEVER she is---just changed her email address.
> So *I* am not really sure she's who she says she is.
>
> Hmmmm.....
>
> ~Kelly <g>
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
>
> __________________________________________________________
> AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
> from AOL at AOL.com.
>
>
--
"Play is the highest form of research." - Albert Einstein
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]