Re:Help! Un-schooling the only child - Inspiration and experience neede
[email protected]
>>I always wondered if it's easier to home-ed/ unschool when you havemore than one kid. It just seems to me families with 2 or 3 or even
4 kids, their kids seems to be doing so much more. They seems to go
off and occupy each other. <<
I have one unschooled kid, Julian, now 17. I always read about these lovely
families with seven children off writing screenplays together, etc. after
feeding and milking the goats. (If you have a family of seven screenplay-writing
goat farming, note that I'm sort of jealous. Not being sarcastic at all.)
Unschooling an only kid is awesome. Repeat after me: no sibling fighting. No
stresses when the kids have extremely differing needs. More resources for the
kid. Certainly there are advantages to having a bunch, but the only
unschooled kids I know are amazing. They are SOOO lucky! -- no school, and you don't
have to share the parents. I mean, come on!
>>1. If you also only have one child, what's your homeschooling day today like?" Do you have a busy routine or maybe a relax one like mine?
What do you like to do? Where do you go? What do you do? Do you go
seeking for activities Or do you create them? <<
It's gonna depend on the kid. I can see unschooling parents of kids who need
lots of constant attention wishing for days like you probably have every
day. It sounds like you have a happy, maybe introverted kid who has lots to do.
I have one of them. It can feel like you're not important, but you are. It's
just more subtle.
When Julian was little we joined a local group run by a friend of mine that
planned lots of "field Trips." Each few months we'd read the newsletter and
sign up for the stuff that sounded cool. It gave Juls and me a chance to
connect with some other homeschoolers (even some unschoolers) and gave us stuff
to look forward to. I mean, the chances of it's occurring to us top go to the
Plastics Museum was slim, but it was really cool! If it will interest both of
you, do something like that....sometimes it's nice to have things to do that
you don't have to think up.
>>2. What's driving you? Any goals to aim for? Any pitfalls to avoid?<<We realized early on that we couldn't "unschool Julian." We had to be a
family that lears all the time because, well, it's cool and fun. We all do really
neat, fun interesting things, and sometimes we do them together or just talk
about them together. If you find stuff you love to do and get into the
whole unschooling thing yourself, you'll be happy.
>>3. Do you have a 'only child' syndrome? Mine do as in he's quitehappy being alone all the time. Though he'll very happily and
confidently join in any HE group of children to play, it doesn't
seems to effect him that he have no specific friends in his life. <<
Julian was too... until he got older and connected with special folks,
mostly unschooled kids. He's very lucky that he has some awesome people that mean
so much to him. Think about getting to an unschooling conference so he can
start making connections now. You too.
Don't worry. It sounds like he's doing great, and I can tell you Julian
turned out great.
Kathryn Baptista
************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zanyzingzap
I have only one kiddo. I have been pondering my to answer you. Ds is 8. We
seem to have cycles of being busy away from home and cycles of being
homebodies.
We kind of fly by the seat of our pants. I think that is easier with one,
but I have no experience with more than one so I don't really know. I know
if I had multiple children I would be stretched to pay for all the things ds
likes to do plus other children's ideas BUT I also know a few people who are
quite inventive at trading and bartering to help their kids pursue their
interests. Most of the people I know who have multiple kids are ALWAYS on
the go. I get tired just listening to one day of what they have. There seems
to be less flexibility to just drop everything and go on an adventure. If I
get a wild idea to head down to Washington DC to go to the National Mall for
the day or into Philly or NYC I can do that because there aren't a lot of
obligations we carry, ds is pretty easy going about stuff like that and the
costs are generally pretty reasonable.
I like the flexibility and freedom I feel like I have with just one child to
facilitate experiences for. I like that I can just be fully present with ds
without having to juggle the needs/emotions of other children. I like that
many of our interests are the same so we have lots of time together and many
of our interests are different so we have lots of time to pursue something
on our own. I like the balance we have achieved in our interactions and
communication. I like being able to have a smaller vehicle. I like having
enough monetary resource that I can buy the quality of food that I can and
focus on one child's eating habits/needs instead of trying to juggle
multiple. I like that I will not have a child that feels like I play
favorites with a sibling when I am doing my very best to meet everyone's
needs. I like that I will only ever have one sick child at a time to deal
with, especially when I have been sick too. Plus unless I adopt there won't
be any other children in our family. So I kind of just got used to the idea
of one child. I enjoy his company and with the health challenges I have
faced I don't think I would be very effective as a parent of more than one
child.
The other side of it that I see from my perspective though is that with more
than one child, if they get along, share common interests etc., they have a
ready made playmate. I am sure there are a great number of other reasons too
that I am not aware of.
So I can see that there might be parts of each situation that could be a
benefit. I am sure there are things he will feel he missed out on. We are
friends with a family that he tells me he wants to live with so he can have
a brother. (He wants us to live in their basement). I know sometimes when we
go to places like the Franklin Institute he wishes there were other kids
with us for him to share the experience with. So we try to invite others to
go with us as often as possible.
I am not quite sure what the meaning of "only child syndrome" is here
though. I have only heard that in a negative connotation meaning a child is
"spoiled" because they haven't been "made" to learn to share their parents,
toys, resources or whatever and will never learn to get along with others in
the real world.
lisa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
seem to have cycles of being busy away from home and cycles of being
homebodies.
We kind of fly by the seat of our pants. I think that is easier with one,
but I have no experience with more than one so I don't really know. I know
if I had multiple children I would be stretched to pay for all the things ds
likes to do plus other children's ideas BUT I also know a few people who are
quite inventive at trading and bartering to help their kids pursue their
interests. Most of the people I know who have multiple kids are ALWAYS on
the go. I get tired just listening to one day of what they have. There seems
to be less flexibility to just drop everything and go on an adventure. If I
get a wild idea to head down to Washington DC to go to the National Mall for
the day or into Philly or NYC I can do that because there aren't a lot of
obligations we carry, ds is pretty easy going about stuff like that and the
costs are generally pretty reasonable.
I like the flexibility and freedom I feel like I have with just one child to
facilitate experiences for. I like that I can just be fully present with ds
without having to juggle the needs/emotions of other children. I like that
many of our interests are the same so we have lots of time together and many
of our interests are different so we have lots of time to pursue something
on our own. I like the balance we have achieved in our interactions and
communication. I like being able to have a smaller vehicle. I like having
enough monetary resource that I can buy the quality of food that I can and
focus on one child's eating habits/needs instead of trying to juggle
multiple. I like that I will not have a child that feels like I play
favorites with a sibling when I am doing my very best to meet everyone's
needs. I like that I will only ever have one sick child at a time to deal
with, especially when I have been sick too. Plus unless I adopt there won't
be any other children in our family. So I kind of just got used to the idea
of one child. I enjoy his company and with the health challenges I have
faced I don't think I would be very effective as a parent of more than one
child.
The other side of it that I see from my perspective though is that with more
than one child, if they get along, share common interests etc., they have a
ready made playmate. I am sure there are a great number of other reasons too
that I am not aware of.
So I can see that there might be parts of each situation that could be a
benefit. I am sure there are things he will feel he missed out on. We are
friends with a family that he tells me he wants to live with so he can have
a brother. (He wants us to live in their basement). I know sometimes when we
go to places like the Franklin Institute he wishes there were other kids
with us for him to share the experience with. So we try to invite others to
go with us as often as possible.
I am not quite sure what the meaning of "only child syndrome" is here
though. I have only heard that in a negative connotation meaning a child is
"spoiled" because they haven't been "made" to learn to share their parents,
toys, resources or whatever and will never learn to get along with others in
the real world.
lisa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], KathrynJB@... wrote:
itself.
---Meredith
>> We realized early on that we couldn't "unschool Julian." We had tobe a
> family that lears all the time because, well, it's cool and fun. Weall do really
> neat, fun interesting things, and sometimes we do them together orjust talk
> about them together. If you find stuff you love to do and get intothe
> whole unschooling thing yourself, you'll be happy.Nothing to add, I just thought it was worth repeating this all by
itself.
---Meredith
John Olsen
I remember those days. When we lived in Branson, MO 3 yrs ago, Mister
P (now age 7 yrs) and I would get and decide to go to Silver Dollar City
that day ride one or twp of his favorite ride we could just do that or
go up to Springfield and visit the zoo or our favorite sharks at the
fish and wildlife museum for the day. now it is if we go, do I have a
stroller for his baby brother and diaper bag with enough formula and
Diapers to get him through the day. I love my younger son and we would
miss him if he was not here but I did love those days.
P (now age 7 yrs) and I would get and decide to go to Silver Dollar City
that day ride one or twp of his favorite ride we could just do that or
go up to Springfield and visit the zoo or our favorite sharks at the
fish and wildlife museum for the day. now it is if we go, do I have a
stroller for his baby brother and diaper bag with enough formula and
Diapers to get him through the day. I love my younger son and we would
miss him if he was not here but I did love those days.
Debra Rossing
We have one unschooled always DS who is almost 9.
I agree about the advantages of no sibling issues to deal with, no "A
wants to go to the park but B wants to stay home and C wants a ride over
to the mall..." torn in multiple directions issues. The flip side is
that it takes a lot of willingness on our part to actually PLAY.
Fortunately, DH is a gamer from way back (original Atari and such) which
suits DS just fine since he LOVES videogames - PS2, GBA, and now the new
DS systems (we have two GBAs and two DS' so that DH and DS can link up
to do stuff as well as play separately). We also need to be willing to
balance stuff like cleaning, cooking, bill paying, et al with things
like board games, videogames, imaginary play (such as "Bionicle battles"
where my team of Bionicles "battles" DS' team of Bionicles - requires
lots of imaginary work because each Bionicle can have different 'powers'
and 'attacks' - DS was pretty impressed at some of the tactics I
'invented' here and there since I'm "just a Mom" not a kid! lol)
Some days are packed with activity, other days are pretty mellow.
Sometimes we propose ideas, sometimes DS expresses a desire to see, do,
try something so we work on meeting that. For instance, this past
Friday, I had the day off from work (I WOH fulltime, DH is home
fulltime, works out great for us this way). Last weekend DH had
mentioned he had never been to Dinosaur State Park here in CT. So, I
suggested (weather permitting) that we do that on my day off just for
fun. Time spent was open ended - their site says to allow about 1 1/2
hrs but we were willing to spend anywhere from 1/2 an hour to all
afternoon until they close there. We had a GREAT time - spent about an
hour inside (20 minute video plus walking around looking at the
preserved in situ trackways) then went outside and despite the chill air
walked the nature trails for probably an hour. Then we headed home, ate
dinner, and headed out to Starbucks for an after dinner "treat" (and I
use that word loosely since we are at Starbucks at least once a week if
not more lol). Then back home again to unwind with some favorite TV
programming (which I usually watch while the guys watch and play their
handheld games as well).
I'm usually the "activity finder" - I keep my eyes out on town parks &
rec events, local homeschooling activities (we have our hand in 3 or 4
different groups), movie theater schedules, and so on. I winnow through
the piles of options and introduce the stuff that looks potentially
interesting. Lots of discussion ensues. Plans occur. Some things that
look interesting might be scheduled for a time when we know we'll
already be pretty "activitied out", other things might not be as
interesting as they initially looked once we investigate further, and
other stuff gets put on the calendar. In the process, other things might
bubble up that get checked into and around we go again. For instance,
the trip to the dinosaur park this past week might (or might not)
produce a request to (a) go back there (b) find similar places to visit
(c) find closer to home hiking/nature trails to try out (d) something
else entirely that is off on a tangent from one or more threads.
I like what Kathryn said about the whole family being learners, not
solely the child (or children - this one applies to pretty much all
families). We all have stuff that we are interested in, stuff that
overlaps each other, stuff that is an individual interest, etc. Both DH
and DS are gamers - I get dizzy playing most of the videogames they
like, and they know it. *However* I make a point to learn at least the
rudiments of what they're talking about (character names, abilities,
good things, not so good things, and so on). I know, for instance, that
electric type Pokemon are good against Water types but not against
Ground types. Not earth shaking stuff by any means BUT it is important
to DS. That's *my* learning - I'm willing to learn about it from DS
rather than brush it off. He was quite proud of me the other day when I
started playing a Pokemon game on the GBA and actually *captured* a wild
Pokemon!
DS goes in and out of times he plays alone and times he wants to play
together. There are a few folks that we get together with regularly to
play and hang out - one family of homeschoolers particularly (they have
3 kids, one is a tad younger than DS and twins a tad older than DS), for
them it is nice because the younger one and DS hit it off particularly
(we met up at a homeschool park day and after several weeks of DS and N
playing together the whole time, we arranged a separate time to get
together - it's been close to 4 yrs now) which "evens" things a bit
since the older twins tend to play together much of the time, and the
younger sometimes is left out slightly. And sometimes, at home, DS wants
to play in parallel rather than together - he just wants someone nearby
to talk to while he's doing something.
Deb
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I agree about the advantages of no sibling issues to deal with, no "A
wants to go to the park but B wants to stay home and C wants a ride over
to the mall..." torn in multiple directions issues. The flip side is
that it takes a lot of willingness on our part to actually PLAY.
Fortunately, DH is a gamer from way back (original Atari and such) which
suits DS just fine since he LOVES videogames - PS2, GBA, and now the new
DS systems (we have two GBAs and two DS' so that DH and DS can link up
to do stuff as well as play separately). We also need to be willing to
balance stuff like cleaning, cooking, bill paying, et al with things
like board games, videogames, imaginary play (such as "Bionicle battles"
where my team of Bionicles "battles" DS' team of Bionicles - requires
lots of imaginary work because each Bionicle can have different 'powers'
and 'attacks' - DS was pretty impressed at some of the tactics I
'invented' here and there since I'm "just a Mom" not a kid! lol)
Some days are packed with activity, other days are pretty mellow.
Sometimes we propose ideas, sometimes DS expresses a desire to see, do,
try something so we work on meeting that. For instance, this past
Friday, I had the day off from work (I WOH fulltime, DH is home
fulltime, works out great for us this way). Last weekend DH had
mentioned he had never been to Dinosaur State Park here in CT. So, I
suggested (weather permitting) that we do that on my day off just for
fun. Time spent was open ended - their site says to allow about 1 1/2
hrs but we were willing to spend anywhere from 1/2 an hour to all
afternoon until they close there. We had a GREAT time - spent about an
hour inside (20 minute video plus walking around looking at the
preserved in situ trackways) then went outside and despite the chill air
walked the nature trails for probably an hour. Then we headed home, ate
dinner, and headed out to Starbucks for an after dinner "treat" (and I
use that word loosely since we are at Starbucks at least once a week if
not more lol). Then back home again to unwind with some favorite TV
programming (which I usually watch while the guys watch and play their
handheld games as well).
I'm usually the "activity finder" - I keep my eyes out on town parks &
rec events, local homeschooling activities (we have our hand in 3 or 4
different groups), movie theater schedules, and so on. I winnow through
the piles of options and introduce the stuff that looks potentially
interesting. Lots of discussion ensues. Plans occur. Some things that
look interesting might be scheduled for a time when we know we'll
already be pretty "activitied out", other things might not be as
interesting as they initially looked once we investigate further, and
other stuff gets put on the calendar. In the process, other things might
bubble up that get checked into and around we go again. For instance,
the trip to the dinosaur park this past week might (or might not)
produce a request to (a) go back there (b) find similar places to visit
(c) find closer to home hiking/nature trails to try out (d) something
else entirely that is off on a tangent from one or more threads.
I like what Kathryn said about the whole family being learners, not
solely the child (or children - this one applies to pretty much all
families). We all have stuff that we are interested in, stuff that
overlaps each other, stuff that is an individual interest, etc. Both DH
and DS are gamers - I get dizzy playing most of the videogames they
like, and they know it. *However* I make a point to learn at least the
rudiments of what they're talking about (character names, abilities,
good things, not so good things, and so on). I know, for instance, that
electric type Pokemon are good against Water types but not against
Ground types. Not earth shaking stuff by any means BUT it is important
to DS. That's *my* learning - I'm willing to learn about it from DS
rather than brush it off. He was quite proud of me the other day when I
started playing a Pokemon game on the GBA and actually *captured* a wild
Pokemon!
DS goes in and out of times he plays alone and times he wants to play
together. There are a few folks that we get together with regularly to
play and hang out - one family of homeschoolers particularly (they have
3 kids, one is a tad younger than DS and twins a tad older than DS), for
them it is nice because the younger one and DS hit it off particularly
(we met up at a homeschool park day and after several weeks of DS and N
playing together the whole time, we arranged a separate time to get
together - it's been close to 4 yrs now) which "evens" things a bit
since the older twins tend to play together much of the time, and the
younger sometimes is left out slightly. And sometimes, at home, DS wants
to play in parallel rather than together - he just wants someone nearby
to talk to while he's doing something.
Deb
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
CNC Software, Inc.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lisa
I can't speak specifically to the only child thing since I have four
kids but I think that just as others have said it's the same
unschooling 1 kid versus many in that you must be willing to be
available in body and soul and be willing to be involved in every
aspect of your child's day and life as he needs and wants. I have
three older kids so at some point I will be unschooling an only since
my youngest is 5 and my oldest is almost 17. I think that lots of
folks worry so much when they have one child (I do it too when I think
of my little guy being alone in another few years ...we have even
talked about adopting or having another to keep him company!) and
worried that they aren't doing enough or the right things etc. You
have to trust yourself that you know your child and are willing to be
connected to that child and understand his needs. Yes you WILL have
to play more because you don't have built in child playmates for your
child but I think that's a great problem to have .... nothing breaks
my heart more than when my little guy tells me that he doesn't need me
to do whatever (play, read, make his sandwich) because he's having
one of his older sisters do it! Trust yourself and trust your child,
be available and connected.
Lisa Blocker
kids but I think that just as others have said it's the same
unschooling 1 kid versus many in that you must be willing to be
available in body and soul and be willing to be involved in every
aspect of your child's day and life as he needs and wants. I have
three older kids so at some point I will be unschooling an only since
my youngest is 5 and my oldest is almost 17. I think that lots of
folks worry so much when they have one child (I do it too when I think
of my little guy being alone in another few years ...we have even
talked about adopting or having another to keep him company!) and
worried that they aren't doing enough or the right things etc. You
have to trust yourself that you know your child and are willing to be
connected to that child and understand his needs. Yes you WILL have
to play more because you don't have built in child playmates for your
child but I think that's a great problem to have .... nothing breaks
my heart more than when my little guy tells me that he doesn't need me
to do whatever (play, read, make his sandwich) because he's having
one of his older sisters do it! Trust yourself and trust your child,
be available and connected.
Lisa Blocker
Cameron Parham
Is is easier to unschool an only or multiples? Yes! No! Ha, ha...I have felt really stretched to fully 'be there' for 3 kids though I love to try. Maybe everything looks easier from the outside? Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Holly
Hmmm, well, I believe I've posted a similar question about 2 years
ago on a similar forum!! LOL!! I'm not saying I'm "Experienced" now,
but I have gained a lot of insight from reading here on this board,
(I don't post much), and from subscribing to "Life Learning"
magazine, and by just spending time with my DS, who is going to be 11
in July.
The past 4 months, my 33-year-old brother, (who, by the way was a
self-educated genius!!!), was missing. He disappeared on a trip from
his home in Utah, to come and visit me in So. California. The end
result was a tragedy, as he was found in the desert on March 6th,
murdered, only 55 feet from where the police towed his car from n
December, (a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I
guess)...but that's another story!!
During that time, I was extremely pre-occupied with the task of
trying to locate my brother, basically ignoring the "Unschooling",
because after all, it's "Unschooling" so why be consumed with trying
to find things for our son to do when something so important requires
my time? (Sounds a little selfish?, But Wait....)
You know what? A new young man has blossomed from this experience! He
discovered new things, on his own, that he never was interested in
before. He found his own things to do/learn...He started building a
block and mortar miniature house, he built a turret out of a washing-
machine box, complete with a rotating scope, he learned how golf
balls were made by watching the Discovery Channel and taking one
apart on his own, he's able to name MANY airplanes from WWI up
through today because of watching the military channel, and a show
that covers weapons of the future, (can't think of the name of it
right now), and all because I just left him alone to do as he
pleased.
I think that's the problem for a lot of people, myself included. We
are soooo used to being "Schooled" that it's hard to just let go and
let them learn. We always feel like we need to be "helping" them when
they are quite capable of doing all of this on their own.
As for companionship, we've offered many times for our son to "be
involved" in group sports, or to take lessons, or take an outside
class of some sort, but he usually just wants to be with us!! I LOVE
that!! He has friends from his days in a Private School, but has
become acquainted with many new friends from sports, church, or
parties or what-have-you. He calls them when he wants a companion, I
don't orchestrate any of it! And it works! Plus, it builds up his
confidence in using the telephone, and he's learning the specifics of
planning, date, time, how the friend arrives, how they get home,
dinner or not, etc...
We do have exciting things planned as a family, such as going to the
Star Wars Exhibit at the California Museum of Science, visiting the
Living Desert, going camping at the beach...but it's not always
necessary to "Plan and Schedule".
I hope what I'm saying is making sense. Thanks for letting me share.
Best of Luck with your Unschooling Journey!!
Holz
ago on a similar forum!! LOL!! I'm not saying I'm "Experienced" now,
but I have gained a lot of insight from reading here on this board,
(I don't post much), and from subscribing to "Life Learning"
magazine, and by just spending time with my DS, who is going to be 11
in July.
The past 4 months, my 33-year-old brother, (who, by the way was a
self-educated genius!!!), was missing. He disappeared on a trip from
his home in Utah, to come and visit me in So. California. The end
result was a tragedy, as he was found in the desert on March 6th,
murdered, only 55 feet from where the police towed his car from n
December, (a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I
guess)...but that's another story!!
During that time, I was extremely pre-occupied with the task of
trying to locate my brother, basically ignoring the "Unschooling",
because after all, it's "Unschooling" so why be consumed with trying
to find things for our son to do when something so important requires
my time? (Sounds a little selfish?, But Wait....)
You know what? A new young man has blossomed from this experience! He
discovered new things, on his own, that he never was interested in
before. He found his own things to do/learn...He started building a
block and mortar miniature house, he built a turret out of a washing-
machine box, complete with a rotating scope, he learned how golf
balls were made by watching the Discovery Channel and taking one
apart on his own, he's able to name MANY airplanes from WWI up
through today because of watching the military channel, and a show
that covers weapons of the future, (can't think of the name of it
right now), and all because I just left him alone to do as he
pleased.
I think that's the problem for a lot of people, myself included. We
are soooo used to being "Schooled" that it's hard to just let go and
let them learn. We always feel like we need to be "helping" them when
they are quite capable of doing all of this on their own.
As for companionship, we've offered many times for our son to "be
involved" in group sports, or to take lessons, or take an outside
class of some sort, but he usually just wants to be with us!! I LOVE
that!! He has friends from his days in a Private School, but has
become acquainted with many new friends from sports, church, or
parties or what-have-you. He calls them when he wants a companion, I
don't orchestrate any of it! And it works! Plus, it builds up his
confidence in using the telephone, and he's learning the specifics of
planning, date, time, how the friend arrives, how they get home,
dinner or not, etc...
We do have exciting things planned as a family, such as going to the
Star Wars Exhibit at the California Museum of Science, visiting the
Living Desert, going camping at the beach...but it's not always
necessary to "Plan and Schedule".
I hope what I'm saying is making sense. Thanks for letting me share.
Best of Luck with your Unschooling Journey!!
Holz
Kelly Weyd
I'm so sorry about your loss.
Kelly
Holly <gitargirl63@...> wrote:
Hmmm, well, I believe I've posted a similar question about 2 years
ago on a similar forum!! LOL!! I'm not saying I'm "Experienced" now,
but I have gained a lot of insight from reading here on this board,
(I don't post much), and from subscribing to "Life Learning"
magazine, and by just spending time with my DS, who is going to be 11
in July.
The past 4 months, my 33-year-old brother, (who, by the way was a
self-educated genius!!!), was missing. He disappeared on a trip from
his home in Utah, to come and visit me in So. California. The end
result was a tragedy, as he was found in the desert on March 6th,
murdered, only 55 feet from where the police towed his car from n
December, (a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I
guess)...but that's another story!!
During that time, I was extremely pre-occupied with the task of
trying to locate my brother, basically ignoring the "Unschooling",
because after all, it's "Unschooling" so why be consumed with trying
to find things for our son to do when something so important requires
my time? (Sounds a little selfish?, But Wait....)
You know what? A new young man has blossomed from this experience! He
discovered new things, on his own, that he never was interested in
before. He found his own things to do/learn...He started building a
block and mortar miniature house, he built a turret out of a washing-
machine box, complete with a rotating scope, he learned how golf
balls were made by watching the Discovery Channel and taking one
apart on his own, he's able to name MANY airplanes from WWI up
through today because of watching the military channel, and a show
that covers weapons of the future, (can't think of the name of it
right now), and all because I just left him alone to do as he
pleased.
I think that's the problem for a lot of people, myself included. We
are soooo used to being "Schooled" that it's hard to just let go and
let them learn. We always feel like we need to be "helping" them when
they are quite capable of doing all of this on their own.
As for companionship, we've offered many times for our son to "be
involved" in group sports, or to take lessons, or take an outside
class of some sort, but he usually just wants to be with us!! I LOVE
that!! He has friends from his days in a Private School, but has
become acquainted with many new friends from sports, church, or
parties or what-have-you. He calls them when he wants a companion, I
don't orchestrate any of it! And it works! Plus, it builds up his
confidence in using the telephone, and he's learning the specifics of
planning, date, time, how the friend arrives, how they get home,
dinner or not, etc...
We do have exciting things planned as a family, such as going to the
Star Wars Exhibit at the California Museum of Science, visiting the
Living Desert, going camping at the beach...but it's not always
necessary to "Plan and Schedule".
I hope what I'm saying is making sense. Thanks for letting me share.
Best of Luck with your Unschooling Journey!!
Holz
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly
Holly <gitargirl63@...> wrote:
Hmmm, well, I believe I've posted a similar question about 2 years
ago on a similar forum!! LOL!! I'm not saying I'm "Experienced" now,
but I have gained a lot of insight from reading here on this board,
(I don't post much), and from subscribing to "Life Learning"
magazine, and by just spending time with my DS, who is going to be 11
in July.
The past 4 months, my 33-year-old brother, (who, by the way was a
self-educated genius!!!), was missing. He disappeared on a trip from
his home in Utah, to come and visit me in So. California. The end
result was a tragedy, as he was found in the desert on March 6th,
murdered, only 55 feet from where the police towed his car from n
December, (a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I
guess)...but that's another story!!
During that time, I was extremely pre-occupied with the task of
trying to locate my brother, basically ignoring the "Unschooling",
because after all, it's "Unschooling" so why be consumed with trying
to find things for our son to do when something so important requires
my time? (Sounds a little selfish?, But Wait....)
You know what? A new young man has blossomed from this experience! He
discovered new things, on his own, that he never was interested in
before. He found his own things to do/learn...He started building a
block and mortar miniature house, he built a turret out of a washing-
machine box, complete with a rotating scope, he learned how golf
balls were made by watching the Discovery Channel and taking one
apart on his own, he's able to name MANY airplanes from WWI up
through today because of watching the military channel, and a show
that covers weapons of the future, (can't think of the name of it
right now), and all because I just left him alone to do as he
pleased.
I think that's the problem for a lot of people, myself included. We
are soooo used to being "Schooled" that it's hard to just let go and
let them learn. We always feel like we need to be "helping" them when
they are quite capable of doing all of this on their own.
As for companionship, we've offered many times for our son to "be
involved" in group sports, or to take lessons, or take an outside
class of some sort, but he usually just wants to be with us!! I LOVE
that!! He has friends from his days in a Private School, but has
become acquainted with many new friends from sports, church, or
parties or what-have-you. He calls them when he wants a companion, I
don't orchestrate any of it! And it works! Plus, it builds up his
confidence in using the telephone, and he's learning the specifics of
planning, date, time, how the friend arrives, how they get home,
dinner or not, etc...
We do have exciting things planned as a family, such as going to the
Star Wars Exhibit at the California Museum of Science, visiting the
Living Desert, going camping at the beach...but it's not always
necessary to "Plan and Schedule".
I hope what I'm saying is making sense. Thanks for letting me share.
Best of Luck with your Unschooling Journey!!
Holz
---------------------------------
TV dinner still cooling?
Check out "Tonight's Picks" on Yahoo! TV.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: gitargirl63@...
The past 4 months, my 33-year-old brother, (who, by the way was a
self-educated genius!!!), was missing. He disappeared on a trip from
his home in Utah, to come and visit me in So. California. The end
result was a tragedy, as he was found in the desert on March 6th,
murdered, only 55 feet from where the police towed his car from n
December, (a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I
guess)...but that's another story!!
-=-=-=-=-
I'm so sorry for your loss!
I remember your posts several months ago about his being missing.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: gitargirl63@...
The past 4 months, my 33-year-old brother, (who, by the way was a
self-educated genius!!!), was missing. He disappeared on a trip from
his home in Utah, to come and visit me in So. California. The end
result was a tragedy, as he was found in the desert on March 6th,
murdered, only 55 feet from where the police towed his car from n
December, (a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I
guess)...but that's another story!!
-=-=-=-=-
I'm so sorry for your loss!
I remember your posts several months ago about his being missing.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
Holly
Wow! I hadn't expected any of this when I posted my reply.
I'd like to thank each and every one of you for your prayers and
thoughts regarding my brother, and for sending out flyers to your
friends, etc...It means a lot to myself and my family. It's been very
difficult, especially not having any answers, but faith has gotten
myself and my family through this crisis.
If you would like to visit a MYSPACE page we've set up as a tribute
to my brother, please go to... www.myspace.com/terrysmissing.
I'd like to add that my brother was an amazing person. He only went
to about 5th or 6th grade in the Public School System and could've
been a Poster Child for Unschooling. He WAS a self-educated genius,
as I've mentioned earlier, and probably could have obtained SEVERAL
college degrees had it been of any importantance to him, but it
wasn't. He was an expert at weather, at electronics, at car
fabrication, at religious studies...you name it...You MUST visit his
page to see what an amazing man he was!! ;)
Thanks Again for all of your posts! It was totally unexpected and
filled my heart with joy!! :)
Holly
I'd like to thank each and every one of you for your prayers and
thoughts regarding my brother, and for sending out flyers to your
friends, etc...It means a lot to myself and my family. It's been very
difficult, especially not having any answers, but faith has gotten
myself and my family through this crisis.
If you would like to visit a MYSPACE page we've set up as a tribute
to my brother, please go to... www.myspace.com/terrysmissing.
I'd like to add that my brother was an amazing person. He only went
to about 5th or 6th grade in the Public School System and could've
been a Poster Child for Unschooling. He WAS a self-educated genius,
as I've mentioned earlier, and probably could have obtained SEVERAL
college degrees had it been of any importantance to him, but it
wasn't. He was an expert at weather, at electronics, at car
fabrication, at religious studies...you name it...You MUST visit his
page to see what an amazing man he was!! ;)
Thanks Again for all of your posts! It was totally unexpected and
filled my heart with joy!! :)
Holly
sharon currie
Dear Holz,
So sorry about your loss and many thanks for replying.
With Best Regards,
SharonC
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
So sorry about your loss and many thanks for replying.
With Best Regards,
SharonC
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers - Got a question? Someone out there knows the answer. Tryit now.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]