treatment of cats
Leslie Kowalski
Hi all,
I had posted this a few weeks ago, but it got lost in the Christian
Values thread mayhem. It's a small problem, on the larger view of
the world, but one that really stymies me. Any thoughts would be great!
We have a wonderful cat - she is tolerant, friendly, and playful.
Paige (who is 4) adores her (as we all do) and shows her this love by
picking her up constantly, laying on top of her, carrying her around
(sometime slinging her over her shoulders), holding her even if the
cat is struggling, and a variety of other things that are both
irritating to the cat, and very difficult for me to watch.
Because the cat is sooooo tolerant, she mostly sits there with either
a blank expression on her face, or one that looks like she's thinking
"help me please". She will sometimes back away from Paige, but it's
very slow and rarely quickly enough to run away. She even comes up
to Paige several times a day, looking for Paige to pet her, which
shows that she still likes her. A good thing is that she rarely
bites or scratches (or if she does it's very gentle biting or
scratching). But, when she does finally decide to bite, Paige is
totally incensed.
I have a varied response to this (which I'm sure is part of the
problem!). Sometimes I think that the cat can take care of herself
and I let it go. But, then I'll see Paige so something like go into
my bedroom, close the door and I walk in to find her laying on top of
the cat. Or, I'll see Paige run out of the room with the cat slung
over her shoulders. At those times I see it as an animal welfare
issue and I intervene. Mostly I try to help Paige to recognize
Monty's signals (squirming, meowing, etc), or encourage her to play
in ways that the cat really likes. But, overall, the whole thing has
become a difficult issue between Paige and I. She gets really mad at
me for intervening, or feels really sad when I do.
I know that this is normal behavior for a 4 year old. I also know
that some of it is that she is looking for my attention, so I have
been trying to focus on having more time alone with Paige and doing
things she really enjoys.
It's when I see it as animal
mistreatment that I have a problem - that's the part I really get
stuck on. I don't want to see Monty being mistreated, and I don't
want either Paige or Tess to think that I think it's okay to do
that. So, overall I don't know how to present a balanced approach to
this problem.
Leslie (in NJ)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I had posted this a few weeks ago, but it got lost in the Christian
Values thread mayhem. It's a small problem, on the larger view of
the world, but one that really stymies me. Any thoughts would be great!
We have a wonderful cat - she is tolerant, friendly, and playful.
Paige (who is 4) adores her (as we all do) and shows her this love by
picking her up constantly, laying on top of her, carrying her around
(sometime slinging her over her shoulders), holding her even if the
cat is struggling, and a variety of other things that are both
irritating to the cat, and very difficult for me to watch.
Because the cat is sooooo tolerant, she mostly sits there with either
a blank expression on her face, or one that looks like she's thinking
"help me please". She will sometimes back away from Paige, but it's
very slow and rarely quickly enough to run away. She even comes up
to Paige several times a day, looking for Paige to pet her, which
shows that she still likes her. A good thing is that she rarely
bites or scratches (or if she does it's very gentle biting or
scratching). But, when she does finally decide to bite, Paige is
totally incensed.
I have a varied response to this (which I'm sure is part of the
problem!). Sometimes I think that the cat can take care of herself
and I let it go. But, then I'll see Paige so something like go into
my bedroom, close the door and I walk in to find her laying on top of
the cat. Or, I'll see Paige run out of the room with the cat slung
over her shoulders. At those times I see it as an animal welfare
issue and I intervene. Mostly I try to help Paige to recognize
Monty's signals (squirming, meowing, etc), or encourage her to play
in ways that the cat really likes. But, overall, the whole thing has
become a difficult issue between Paige and I. She gets really mad at
me for intervening, or feels really sad when I do.
I know that this is normal behavior for a 4 year old. I also know
that some of it is that she is looking for my attention, so I have
been trying to focus on having more time alone with Paige and doing
things she really enjoys.
It's when I see it as animal
mistreatment that I have a problem - that's the part I really get
stuck on. I don't want to see Monty being mistreated, and I don't
want either Paige or Tess to think that I think it's okay to do
that. So, overall I don't know how to present a balanced approach to
this problem.
Leslie (in NJ)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Weyd
I would say it's normal for a 4 year old, but I'm no expert. I'm trying to get my "extremely impulsive" 7 year old to leave our animals alone. Because our animals don't like being poked and prodded, and my daughter has been bit and scratched as our poor animals are just trying to defend themselves. We have even considered locking our cats in our bedroom permanently (we have a large master bedroom, with a large bathroom), just so they are away from my child. One of our cats hides up there all day long currently.
kelly
Leslie Kowalski <lrkowalski@...> wrote:
Hi all,
I had posted this a few weeks ago, but it got lost in the Christian
Values thread mayhem. It's a small problem, on the larger view of
the world, but one that really stymies me. Any thoughts would be great!
We have a wonderful cat - she is tolerant, friendly, and playful.
Paige (who is 4) adores her (as we all do) and shows her this love by
picking her up constantly, laying on top of her, carrying her around
(sometime slinging her over her shoulders), holding her even if the
cat is struggling, and a variety of other things that are both
irritating to the cat, and very difficult for me to watch.
Because the cat is sooooo tolerant, she mostly sits there with either
a blank expression on her face, or one that looks like she's thinking
"help me please". She will sometimes back away from Paige, but it's
very slow and rarely quickly enough to run away. She even comes up
to Paige several times a day, looking for Paige to pet her, which
shows that she still likes her. A good thing is that she rarely
bites or scratches (or if she does it's very gentle biting or
scratching). But, when she does finally decide to bite, Paige is
totally incensed.
I have a varied response to this (which I'm sure is part of the
problem!). Sometimes I think that the cat can take care of herself
and I let it go. But, then I'll see Paige so something like go into
my bedroom, close the door and I walk in to find her laying on top of
the cat. Or, I'll see Paige run out of the room with the cat slung
over her shoulders. At those times I see it as an animal welfare
issue and I intervene. Mostly I try to help Paige to recognize
Monty's signals (squirming, meowing, etc), or encourage her to play
in ways that the cat really likes. But, overall, the whole thing has
become a difficult issue between Paige and I. She gets really mad at
me for intervening, or feels really sad when I do.
I know that this is normal behavior for a 4 year old. I also know
that some of it is that she is looking for my attention, so I have
been trying to focus on having more time alone with Paige and doing
things she really enjoys.
It's when I see it as animal
mistreatment that I have a problem - that's the part I really get
stuck on. I don't want to see Monty being mistreated, and I don't
want either Paige or Tess to think that I think it's okay to do
that. So, overall I don't know how to present a balanced approach to
this problem.
Leslie (in NJ)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Be a PS3 game guru.
Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Yahoo! Games.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kelly
Leslie Kowalski <lrkowalski@...> wrote:
Hi all,
I had posted this a few weeks ago, but it got lost in the Christian
Values thread mayhem. It's a small problem, on the larger view of
the world, but one that really stymies me. Any thoughts would be great!
We have a wonderful cat - she is tolerant, friendly, and playful.
Paige (who is 4) adores her (as we all do) and shows her this love by
picking her up constantly, laying on top of her, carrying her around
(sometime slinging her over her shoulders), holding her even if the
cat is struggling, and a variety of other things that are both
irritating to the cat, and very difficult for me to watch.
Because the cat is sooooo tolerant, she mostly sits there with either
a blank expression on her face, or one that looks like she's thinking
"help me please". She will sometimes back away from Paige, but it's
very slow and rarely quickly enough to run away. She even comes up
to Paige several times a day, looking for Paige to pet her, which
shows that she still likes her. A good thing is that she rarely
bites or scratches (or if she does it's very gentle biting or
scratching). But, when she does finally decide to bite, Paige is
totally incensed.
I have a varied response to this (which I'm sure is part of the
problem!). Sometimes I think that the cat can take care of herself
and I let it go. But, then I'll see Paige so something like go into
my bedroom, close the door and I walk in to find her laying on top of
the cat. Or, I'll see Paige run out of the room with the cat slung
over her shoulders. At those times I see it as an animal welfare
issue and I intervene. Mostly I try to help Paige to recognize
Monty's signals (squirming, meowing, etc), or encourage her to play
in ways that the cat really likes. But, overall, the whole thing has
become a difficult issue between Paige and I. She gets really mad at
me for intervening, or feels really sad when I do.
I know that this is normal behavior for a 4 year old. I also know
that some of it is that she is looking for my attention, so I have
been trying to focus on having more time alone with Paige and doing
things she really enjoys.
It's when I see it as animal
mistreatment that I have a problem - that's the part I really get
stuck on. I don't want to see Monty being mistreated, and I don't
want either Paige or Tess to think that I think it's okay to do
that. So, overall I don't know how to present a balanced approach to
this problem.
Leslie (in NJ)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Be a PS3 game guru.
Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Yahoo! Games.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie Peters
We had some issues like that when we first got our pets...many, many
years ago. Yes, it's typical 4 yo behavior. My DD tried to treat
the pets the same as she would treat her babydolls...slung over
shoulders/balanced on a hip, wrapped up in blankets, trying to force
feed them because "babies" need to eat, dunking then in the bathtub,
all dressed up even in "diapers", etc.
However, not all animals will be as tolerant as the one you have
now...in that you are lucky. In the future that might not be the
case...or if they try to play the same way with someone else's pet.
As a parent and pet owner, I feel it is important to show little
ones how to interact with pets and how NOT to.
And since you said that you think your DD is doing some of it for
your attention, don't just give her attention...give her AND the cat
attention.
Take the time to play with the cat together, pet the cat for a while
and "let" the cat decide when to walk away, show/discuss how many
different appropriate ways there are to love a cat (food/water,
shelter, litter box, petting, playing, napping, etc.)
Also, talk and "show" how NOT to treat the cat together. Sometimes
little kids cannot think about the "other's point of
view/feelings"...they just haven't developed that yet. So sometimes
we would play the "if you are..." game to help our kids "realize"
how someone else feels/thinks.
In your case we would have used "if you are a cat...would you like
to be treated/handled like...?" We would ask the question and then
because the behavior was 'laying on top of the cat', we would then
lay on top of DD...until she "meowed" to be let up.
First she might think the game is silly and fun, but then she'll
realize that it isn't pleasant for her...being "trapped" and all.
Then ask, "Do you think Monty, enjoys feeling trapped they way you
did?" to help her focus on the cat's feelings in a way a 4 yo can
easily identify with.
You may have to help her the first few times you play the game..."if
you didn't enjoy being layed on, then maybe Monty doesn't like being
layed on either, what do you think?" Ask things like, "How can we
tell if the cat doesn't like something?" and "When the cat tells us
he doesn't like what's happening, what could we do to help him feel
better?" (Hope that makes sense.)
Talk about WHY DD didn't like being "trapped" (hard to move/breathe,
scary, lack of freedom, etc.) Then talk about WHY Monty might not
like being layed on...DD is bigger/heavier than the cat which may be
painful, Monty may have a hard time moving/breathing which could be
dangerous, it could be scary for the cat, Monty's freedom is taken
away which could cause anger, etc.
My kids loved the game so much they started playing it with each
other for a variety of things (prending to be pillows, rocks,
animals, people, dirt, water, foods, cars, etc.)...they've long
grown out of it, now.
Our favorite was "Chicken Pillow"...a feather pillow that was still
alive, wiggling, and "clucking"! We'd all pile on top of each other
and Shout, "Be still Chicken Pillow!"
Oh, how I miss those days!
Julie Peters
years ago. Yes, it's typical 4 yo behavior. My DD tried to treat
the pets the same as she would treat her babydolls...slung over
shoulders/balanced on a hip, wrapped up in blankets, trying to force
feed them because "babies" need to eat, dunking then in the bathtub,
all dressed up even in "diapers", etc.
However, not all animals will be as tolerant as the one you have
now...in that you are lucky. In the future that might not be the
case...or if they try to play the same way with someone else's pet.
As a parent and pet owner, I feel it is important to show little
ones how to interact with pets and how NOT to.
And since you said that you think your DD is doing some of it for
your attention, don't just give her attention...give her AND the cat
attention.
Take the time to play with the cat together, pet the cat for a while
and "let" the cat decide when to walk away, show/discuss how many
different appropriate ways there are to love a cat (food/water,
shelter, litter box, petting, playing, napping, etc.)
Also, talk and "show" how NOT to treat the cat together. Sometimes
little kids cannot think about the "other's point of
view/feelings"...they just haven't developed that yet. So sometimes
we would play the "if you are..." game to help our kids "realize"
how someone else feels/thinks.
In your case we would have used "if you are a cat...would you like
to be treated/handled like...?" We would ask the question and then
because the behavior was 'laying on top of the cat', we would then
lay on top of DD...until she "meowed" to be let up.
First she might think the game is silly and fun, but then she'll
realize that it isn't pleasant for her...being "trapped" and all.
Then ask, "Do you think Monty, enjoys feeling trapped they way you
did?" to help her focus on the cat's feelings in a way a 4 yo can
easily identify with.
You may have to help her the first few times you play the game..."if
you didn't enjoy being layed on, then maybe Monty doesn't like being
layed on either, what do you think?" Ask things like, "How can we
tell if the cat doesn't like something?" and "When the cat tells us
he doesn't like what's happening, what could we do to help him feel
better?" (Hope that makes sense.)
Talk about WHY DD didn't like being "trapped" (hard to move/breathe,
scary, lack of freedom, etc.) Then talk about WHY Monty might not
like being layed on...DD is bigger/heavier than the cat which may be
painful, Monty may have a hard time moving/breathing which could be
dangerous, it could be scary for the cat, Monty's freedom is taken
away which could cause anger, etc.
My kids loved the game so much they started playing it with each
other for a variety of things (prending to be pillows, rocks,
animals, people, dirt, water, foods, cars, etc.)...they've long
grown out of it, now.
Our favorite was "Chicken Pillow"...a feather pillow that was still
alive, wiggling, and "clucking"! We'd all pile on top of each other
and Shout, "Be still Chicken Pillow!"
Oh, how I miss those days!
Julie Peters