Vanessa

Hi!

My 8.5 year old boy is a grouch when he doesn't get enough sleep (more than a grouch -
will hit, cry, meltdown, etc) & he is bouncing off the walls when he doesn't get at least one
good hour's worth of a really good work out. He does not like to run around outside! He is
8.5, but looks like a 10 year old (and is ever so smart and well-spoken)- he tends to be
too intense for the other kids & they get scared and back off (he can be loud and gets too
close - they feel threatened). Left to his own, he would sit in bed reading all day, into the
late night and get pale, worn out looking and mean (I know this from expereience).

With sleep and exercise, he is exhuberant, helpful, fun, enthusiastic, more calm & seems
happy. It is like there is alot of noise in his head - and sleep & exercise turn it down so
he can focus. Gets along ALOT better with everyone. The whole family benefits from his
energy.

He is furious that I have enforced a bedtime (after negotiations) and exercise schedule (we
all bike ride - he resists every time!! He hates ball sports (so do I). Loves fencing (too
much $$$$). Hates swim team, but will swim laps (we all go-he doesn't like to go by
himself). He is slim/vegetarian/healthy eater - weight is not an issue.

He'd love Aikido & maybe wrestling- but given his age, short fuse & willingness to clobber,
I'm reluctant.

What have you done with such a situation?
:)
Ness

King & Stace

Hi Ness

My 9 yr old daughter is the same when she doesn't get enough sleep. She really needs about 10 hours to be able to cope the next day, but resists bedtimes quite energetically. We have meltdowns, lashing out at her brother, being very disrespectful to me and her Stepdad and general lack of control (particularly when she gets angry).

She, also, would rather read and has been getting up at about 6am and going to sit in the lounge to read until the rest of us wake up.

I think I might get some books on CD for her to listen to when she's in bed and maybe that will make her a bit sleepier than just reading.

She's not terribly sporty although does love riding her bike around the house. She has put her name down for rugby this year (we are able to join in with our local school teams) which her brother played last year so hopefully that will help.

I do notice a huge improvement in her behaviour after a good nights sleep and some physical exercise so I try to get her outside as often as I can.

I would suggest that you keep on doing what you have been and take a HUGE breath!

I am learning that one of my most important virtues must be PATIENCE and tons of it!! lol

Also keep talking to him lots about why he should have more sleep and exercise. I find my daughter a lot more receptive to my ideas if she's kept in the loop.

Good luck
Stacey in New Zealand

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Vanessa, my boys spend literally hours a day on the family trampoline. We've had one for four years and it amazes me how much time they will spend on it. I bought it when my youngest was 4 and my oldest was 6. I was desperate to find a new, fun way to burn off some of that 'little boy energy' . The two boys will often have some imaginary game going on between them and the trampoline it where it all takes place- I love listening to their happy chatter and watching them jump and run round and round the trampoline. The trampoline has an enclosure so there is no danger of them falling off but now that they are older I've noticed they are more likely to try gymnastic stunts (flips)on the trampoline . I've had to caution them about the serious injuries that they could sustain doing flips were they to land improperly, especially on their necks. This seems to have put an end to the stunt attempts. They had previously been taking a gymnastics class where older children were learning t
rampolining- I am going to ask my boys if they would like to return to class gymnastics class this year so they can learn how to do flips properly so as to avoid injury..... Anyhow we like the trampoline and I enjoy joining them for some exercise too!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Katharine Wise

A good martial arts dojo will address this issue. My boys' tae kwan do school makes it very clear that if they *ever* hear that a child has used something they've learned there on their parent, sibling, neighbor, dog, enemy, etc. they are out. In 20 years they've had to follow through once. The whole point of a good martial arts program is to learn self-control. We *love* our program -- my husband and I have not-so-jokingly said that if we ever move away from here the dojo is what we'll miss more than anything else. (Although presumably we could find a good program elsewhere as well!)

Katharine

----- Original Message ----
From: Vanessa <nessa_at_home@...>


He'd love Aikido & maybe wrestling- but given his age, short fuse & willingness to clobber,

I'm reluctant.












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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Rachel Salavon

OMG, this could be my son - although he's not quite 8. My dh and I
were just talking with him about how exercise could help him de-
fuse. He's not interested in anything (especially if we have to
drive to get there). Although, I think he would love fencing or
archery.

Not much help just empathizing

Rachel

--- In [email protected], "Vanessa"
<nessa_at_home@...> wrote:
>
>
> Hi!
>
> My 8.5 year old boy is a grouch when he doesn't get enough sleep
(more than a grouch -
> will hit, cry, meltdown, etc) & he is bouncing off the walls when
he doesn't get at least one
> good hour's worth of a really good work out. He does not like to
run around outside! He is
> 8.5, but looks like a 10 year old (and is ever so smart and well-
spoken)- he tends to be
> too intense for the other kids & they get scared and back off (he
can be loud and gets too
> close - they feel threatened). Left to his own, he would sit in
bed reading all day, into the
> late night and get pale, worn out looking and mean (I know this
from expereience).
>
> With sleep and exercise, he is exhuberant, helpful, fun,
enthusiastic, more calm & seems
> happy. It is like there is alot of noise in his head - and sleep
& exercise turn it down so
> he can focus. Gets along ALOT better with everyone. The whole
family benefits from his
> energy.
>
> He is furious that I have enforced a bedtime (after negotiations)
and exercise schedule (we
> all bike ride - he resists every time!! He hates ball sports (so
do I). Loves fencing (too
> much $$$$). Hates swim team, but will swim laps (we all go-he
doesn't like to go by
> himself). He is slim/vegetarian/healthy eater - weight is not an
issue.
>
> He'd love Aikido & maybe wrestling- but given his age, short fuse
& willingness to clobber,
> I'm reluctant.
>
> What have you done with such a situation?
> :)
> Ness
>

Katharine Wise

Maybe it's the age, then! My 7.5yo son is the same way. ***So*** much happier and more pleasant when he gets outside especially, but generally objects. Just started karate after watching his older brother for 2 years. The novelty of spring is helping for the moment with getting him outside and active (most of the winter he preferred jumping on the bed, sofa, and chairs).

--












OMG, this could be my son - although he's not quite 8. My dh and I

were just talking with him about how exercise could help him de-

fuse. He's not interested in anything (especially if we have to

drive to get there). Although, I think he would love fencing or

archery.












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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

CHRIS CHANDLER

I have a child who is sometimes difficult to get out of the house too. He's a homebody but, I think, more than that, he just lives supremely in the moment! When he's "in here" he has trouble switching his mind to "out there." When the rest of us are wanting to go out for a walk, bike ride, etc., and he wants to stay home (he's not old enough to stay home by himself), I'll ask him if he'll try it for 10 minutes with the assurance that if he doesn't like it, he can come back in. This is usually successful. Once his feet hit the front porch, his mind has switched gears also and he's moved on to the next activity.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: nessa_at_home@...


He is furious that I have enforced a bedtime (after negotiations) and
exercise
schedule (we
all bike ride - he resists every time!! He hates ball sports (so do
I). Loves
fencing (too
much $$$$). Hates swim team, but will swim laps (we all go-he doesn't
like to go
by
himself). He is slim/vegetarian/healthy eater - weight is not an
issue.

-=-=-=-=-

I'd be furious too. If you're enforcing it, he can't learn when he's
tired. When does he wake?

I'd seriously worry more about a lack of protein and/or B vitamins due
to the vegie diet. Cameron does the same when he's vegetarian. Changes
completely when he adds meat to his diet. My vegie friends all said he
*could* do it, but he'd be eating ALL day in order to make up for what
he misses with no meat. Cam was tired and weak and snippy and
disoriented and clumsy when 100% vegetarian. Adding a burger made all
the difference. We've discussed it many times: as much as he'd like to
go vegie again, he just hates how he feels. His body *needs* more
protein than he can get as a vegetarian. He eats as little meat as he
can get away with, but he does need it.

-=--=-=-=-=-=-

What have you done with such a situation?

-=-=-=-=-=-

I'd discuss other options. Forcing anything doesn't allow him to learn
about his body.


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org


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