New-Intro
Heather
Hi I all. I am Heather momma to 4 kiddos. 12yos, 7yod, 5yod, and 4yod.
We have homeschooled for 8 years now. We have ran the gammut I am
sure. Text books, work books, living book, units you name it we have
tried it. But several times my husband and I have gone back to "Well
we really think we should give unschooling a try." So we read up on it
again, and in so many ways agree with it, but because of our years of
other methods, I find it hard to get around it. How do ass a mother
who is normally more controlling and wanting to get this done and that
done- say its ok do whatever you want.
I am by no mean s rigid and sit down booky. Espicially with my little
ones. But I do have control to an extent although it is ecclectate
control :) I believe it will be easier to let the little ones choose,
because we already play games., and just do ton's of stuff they want
to do. But they of course don't know it would be considered "school"
I know we are to be be open to what are children want to do, and be
avl. to them. But I have 3 little ones and sometimes the wanting
mommy is driving me crazy already. And if that is what we did all the
time(letting them decide what we do, when we do it) I could just go
wonky. PLEASE someone if I am getting this wrong or if anyone has any
ideas for me. Throw them out there, I am here to gain knowledge from
you mothers who have been there done that.
I have had this guilt complex though, that my 7yo is not reading yet.
She really wants to know how and just will not click. But if I am
undrestanding correctly, if I was trying to unschool I wouldn't worry
so much about it. And just help her when she wants, and read with her
and to her and it will naturally? Is this correct.
For my 13yos it is going to proove to be harder to let go for me. He
now does Pre-Algebra, we use Learning Language Arts Through Lit, and
then for Science and History we use Sonlight books and just read a lot
and do narrations. Sometimmes the Science will have a few questions.
We have also done a few lapbooks. But see ALL of this is planned out
by me, and then he does it and checks it off.(that is his choice- he
is a big box checker) And then when he gets done he has a few
chores(feeds animals, takes out trash, sometimes cleans kitchen and
sometimes vacumms-they are kinda of sporadic though) And then he has
game time. But we were limiting his game time to 2 hours during the
week and unlimited on the weekends.
All of this to say- I don't even know where to begin with him. If I
let him go and say you can do whatever(or even tell him we are going
to try unschooling) he knows what it is we have friends who unschool.
I am so afraid to have a couch potato kid that would never come out to
the light of the day, and he would be brain dead from games.
If you are still reading thank you all ANY help you might be able to
give. I trully believe in unschooling- but I am afraid I am not able
to make it work.
Thanks again
Heather in Alabama
We have homeschooled for 8 years now. We have ran the gammut I am
sure. Text books, work books, living book, units you name it we have
tried it. But several times my husband and I have gone back to "Well
we really think we should give unschooling a try." So we read up on it
again, and in so many ways agree with it, but because of our years of
other methods, I find it hard to get around it. How do ass a mother
who is normally more controlling and wanting to get this done and that
done- say its ok do whatever you want.
I am by no mean s rigid and sit down booky. Espicially with my little
ones. But I do have control to an extent although it is ecclectate
control :) I believe it will be easier to let the little ones choose,
because we already play games., and just do ton's of stuff they want
to do. But they of course don't know it would be considered "school"
I know we are to be be open to what are children want to do, and be
avl. to them. But I have 3 little ones and sometimes the wanting
mommy is driving me crazy already. And if that is what we did all the
time(letting them decide what we do, when we do it) I could just go
wonky. PLEASE someone if I am getting this wrong or if anyone has any
ideas for me. Throw them out there, I am here to gain knowledge from
you mothers who have been there done that.
I have had this guilt complex though, that my 7yo is not reading yet.
She really wants to know how and just will not click. But if I am
undrestanding correctly, if I was trying to unschool I wouldn't worry
so much about it. And just help her when she wants, and read with her
and to her and it will naturally? Is this correct.
For my 13yos it is going to proove to be harder to let go for me. He
now does Pre-Algebra, we use Learning Language Arts Through Lit, and
then for Science and History we use Sonlight books and just read a lot
and do narrations. Sometimmes the Science will have a few questions.
We have also done a few lapbooks. But see ALL of this is planned out
by me, and then he does it and checks it off.(that is his choice- he
is a big box checker) And then when he gets done he has a few
chores(feeds animals, takes out trash, sometimes cleans kitchen and
sometimes vacumms-they are kinda of sporadic though) And then he has
game time. But we were limiting his game time to 2 hours during the
week and unlimited on the weekends.
All of this to say- I don't even know where to begin with him. If I
let him go and say you can do whatever(or even tell him we are going
to try unschooling) he knows what it is we have friends who unschool.
I am so afraid to have a couch potato kid that would never come out to
the light of the day, and he would be brain dead from games.
If you are still reading thank you all ANY help you might be able to
give. I trully believe in unschooling- but I am afraid I am not able
to make it work.
Thanks again
Heather in Alabama
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: schoolin5@...
Hi I all. I am Heather momma to 4 kiddos. 12yos, 7yod, 5yod, and
4yod.
We have homeschooled for 8 years now. We have ran the gammut I am
sure. Text books, work books, living book, units you name it we have
tried it. But several times my husband and I have gone back to "Well
we really think we should give unschooling a try." So we read up on it
again, and in so many ways agree with it, but because of our years of
other methods, I find it hard to get around it. How do ass a mother
who is normally more controlling and wanting to get this done and that
done- say its ok do whatever you want.
-=-=-=-
SLOWLY---and by simply saying "yes" more and more.
DON'T say, "It's OK. Do whatever you want."
Start slowly by agreeing to more and more---S-L-O-W-L-Y!!!!!
-=-=-=-=-=-
I am by no mean s rigid and sit down booky. Espicially with my little
ones. But I do have control to an extent
-=-=-==-
Start letting control go.
-=-=-=-=-=-
But I have 3 little ones and sometimes the wanting mommy is driving
me crazy already.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
But you have three little ones. They won't be little for all that much
longer---they grow so fast. Enjoy the small amount of time you have
left. Seriously! I know it doesn't feel that way now, but they're NOT
little forever---no matter HOW it feels right now! Enjoy it while
you've got it!
-=-=-=-=-=
And if that is what we did all the
time(letting them decide what we do, when we do it) I could just go
wonky. PLEASE someone if I am getting this wrong or if anyone has any
ideas for me.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Ask for more input from them. Agree to their input. Slowly.
You won't go wonky. Small incremements. Take it easy. Do more. Let them
make decisions.
-=-=-=-=-=-
I have had this guilt complex though, that my 7yo is not reading yet.
-=-=-=-
*You* feel guilty because your child's not reading yet? Guilty?
Embarrassed?
-=-=-=-=-
She really wants to know how and just will not click. But if I am
undrestanding correctly, if I was trying to unschool I wouldn't worry
so much about it. And just help her when she wants, and read with her
and to her and it will naturally? Is this correct.
-=-=--=-
If she's surrounded by the witten word, she will learn to read. Do you
read to her? Do you answer her questions?
How did she learn to talk?
-=-=-=-=-=-
For my 13yos it is going to proove to be harder to let go for me. He
now does Pre-Algebra, we use Learning Language Arts Through Lit, and
then for Science and History we use Sonlight books and just read a lot
and do narrations. Sometimmes the Science will have a few questions.
We have also done a few lapbooks. But see ALL of this is planned out
by me, and then he does it and checks it off.(that is his choice- he
is a big box checker) And then when he gets done he has a few
chores(feeds animals, takes out trash, sometimes cleans kitchen and
sometimes vacumms-they are kinda of sporadic though)
-=-=-=-
I'm a lister too. I LIKE my lists. They're helpful to me.
-=-=-=-==-=-
And then he has game time. But we were limiting his game time to 2
hours during the
week and unlimited on the weekends.
-=-=-=-
And if you lift limits,he will probably game A LOT. Are you ready for
that?
-=-=-=-=-=-
All of this to say- I don't even know where to begin with him. If I
let him go and say you can do whatever(or even tell him we are going
to try unschooling) he knows what it is we have friends who unschool.
I am so afraid to have a couch potato kid that would never come out to
the light of the day, and he would be brain dead from games.
-=-=-=-
I sent that to Sandra for her "If I let" page.
Is that REALLY what you are afraid of? He would never come out to the
light of day? That he would be brain dead? Really?
The words we choose are very powerful. Does he know you feel this way?
I hope not.
Don't remove the limits all at once. Slowly start saying yes more. "May
I play until I reach the next level?" "Yes." "May I play another ten
minutes?" "Yes." "Another half-hour?" "Yes."
-=-=-=-=-=-
If you are still reading thank you all ANY help you might be able to
give. I trully believe in unschooling- but I am afraid I am not able
to make it work.
-=-=-=-=-=
If you believe you can or believe you can't, you're right.
What do you really believe?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: schoolin5@...
Hi I all. I am Heather momma to 4 kiddos. 12yos, 7yod, 5yod, and
4yod.
We have homeschooled for 8 years now. We have ran the gammut I am
sure. Text books, work books, living book, units you name it we have
tried it. But several times my husband and I have gone back to "Well
we really think we should give unschooling a try." So we read up on it
again, and in so many ways agree with it, but because of our years of
other methods, I find it hard to get around it. How do ass a mother
who is normally more controlling and wanting to get this done and that
done- say its ok do whatever you want.
-=-=-=-
SLOWLY---and by simply saying "yes" more and more.
DON'T say, "It's OK. Do whatever you want."
Start slowly by agreeing to more and more---S-L-O-W-L-Y!!!!!
-=-=-=-=-=-
I am by no mean s rigid and sit down booky. Espicially with my little
ones. But I do have control to an extent
-=-=-==-
Start letting control go.
-=-=-=-=-=-
But I have 3 little ones and sometimes the wanting mommy is driving
me crazy already.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
But you have three little ones. They won't be little for all that much
longer---they grow so fast. Enjoy the small amount of time you have
left. Seriously! I know it doesn't feel that way now, but they're NOT
little forever---no matter HOW it feels right now! Enjoy it while
you've got it!
-=-=-=-=-=
And if that is what we did all the
time(letting them decide what we do, when we do it) I could just go
wonky. PLEASE someone if I am getting this wrong or if anyone has any
ideas for me.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Ask for more input from them. Agree to their input. Slowly.
You won't go wonky. Small incremements. Take it easy. Do more. Let them
make decisions.
-=-=-=-=-=-
I have had this guilt complex though, that my 7yo is not reading yet.
-=-=-=-
*You* feel guilty because your child's not reading yet? Guilty?
Embarrassed?
-=-=-=-=-
She really wants to know how and just will not click. But if I am
undrestanding correctly, if I was trying to unschool I wouldn't worry
so much about it. And just help her when she wants, and read with her
and to her and it will naturally? Is this correct.
-=-=--=-
If she's surrounded by the witten word, she will learn to read. Do you
read to her? Do you answer her questions?
How did she learn to talk?
-=-=-=-=-=-
For my 13yos it is going to proove to be harder to let go for me. He
now does Pre-Algebra, we use Learning Language Arts Through Lit, and
then for Science and History we use Sonlight books and just read a lot
and do narrations. Sometimmes the Science will have a few questions.
We have also done a few lapbooks. But see ALL of this is planned out
by me, and then he does it and checks it off.(that is his choice- he
is a big box checker) And then when he gets done he has a few
chores(feeds animals, takes out trash, sometimes cleans kitchen and
sometimes vacumms-they are kinda of sporadic though)
-=-=-=-
I'm a lister too. I LIKE my lists. They're helpful to me.
-=-=-=-==-=-
And then he has game time. But we were limiting his game time to 2
hours during the
week and unlimited on the weekends.
-=-=-=-
And if you lift limits,he will probably game A LOT. Are you ready for
that?
-=-=-=-=-=-
All of this to say- I don't even know where to begin with him. If I
let him go and say you can do whatever(or even tell him we are going
to try unschooling) he knows what it is we have friends who unschool.
I am so afraid to have a couch potato kid that would never come out to
the light of the day, and he would be brain dead from games.
-=-=-=-
I sent that to Sandra for her "If I let" page.
Is that REALLY what you are afraid of? He would never come out to the
light of day? That he would be brain dead? Really?
The words we choose are very powerful. Does he know you feel this way?
I hope not.
Don't remove the limits all at once. Slowly start saying yes more. "May
I play until I reach the next level?" "Yes." "May I play another ten
minutes?" "Yes." "Another half-hour?" "Yes."
-=-=-=-=-=-
If you are still reading thank you all ANY help you might be able to
give. I trully believe in unschooling- but I am afraid I am not able
to make it work.
-=-=-=-=-=
If you believe you can or believe you can't, you're right.
What do you really believe?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
Cameron Parham
Kelly, Er...I did lift nearly all the limits at once. Why did you say not to? Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~Kelly, Er...I did lift nearly all the limits at once. Why did you
say not to?~~
Not Kelly, but I can explain this.
When you do a sudden shift and tell kids "no more rules" or some such
statement, it leaves them feeling confused and a bit lost. Rather than
making a sudden change that makes kids feel insecure, we recommend
simply saying "yes" more often, paying attention to your interactions,
trying to be more mindful rather than reactiionary.
Lifting everything at once can lead to some major chaos, and that's
certainly not a great environment for unschooling.
Kids will notice the changes, even when you don't make some broad
sweeping change. And then you get the chance to explain why you feel
differently about some of the things you aren't saying "no" about as
often.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
say not to?~~
Not Kelly, but I can explain this.
When you do a sudden shift and tell kids "no more rules" or some such
statement, it leaves them feeling confused and a bit lost. Rather than
making a sudden change that makes kids feel insecure, we recommend
simply saying "yes" more often, paying attention to your interactions,
trying to be more mindful rather than reactiionary.
Lifting everything at once can lead to some major chaos, and that's
certainly not a great environment for unschooling.
Kids will notice the changes, even when you don't make some broad
sweeping change. And then you get the chance to explain why you feel
differently about some of the things you aren't saying "no" about as
often.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@...
Kelly, Er...I did lift nearly all the limits at once. Why did you
say not to?
Cameron
-=-=-=-
Because it can be suddenly overwhelming. THings may come back and bite
you in the butt. You may feel as if all of you are drowning because
there're no safety wings or boogie boards to cling to. You're all
floudering in the deep end without tools. Like you didn't master
treading water while you were in the baby pool. The kids may feel at a
loss because "mom said 'no rules':" so it was OK to dive off the high
dive.
Many families end up clinging HARD to the sides of the pool and decide
they will NEVER try that again! *We* were obviously crazy to suggest
such a dangerous activity.
Works differently for each family, of course. And the fewer rules a
family had to start with will have fewer problems The fewer mandatory
chores a family had, the more floaties and noodles your children might
toss to you if they see you're struggling
The more overall issues you've been dealing with (just out of school,
authoritarian/controlling parenting/serious chores and homework issues/
strict bedtimes and food restrictions and heavy limits on TV, computers
and gaming), the more you might need a Newfoundland dog which could
rescue all the drowning souls! <G> 'Cause *everyone* is in over his
head!
Having *YES* floaties and water wings and noodles and life-rings
floating around the pool gives them more opportunities to cling to what
they're most comfortable wit
Just saying yes more will make the transition smoother. Keep you saner.
<g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: acsp2205@...
Kelly, Er...I did lift nearly all the limits at once. Why did you
say not to?
Cameron
-=-=-=-
Because it can be suddenly overwhelming. THings may come back and bite
you in the butt. You may feel as if all of you are drowning because
there're no safety wings or boogie boards to cling to. You're all
floudering in the deep end without tools. Like you didn't master
treading water while you were in the baby pool. The kids may feel at a
loss because "mom said 'no rules':" so it was OK to dive off the high
dive.
Many families end up clinging HARD to the sides of the pool and decide
they will NEVER try that again! *We* were obviously crazy to suggest
such a dangerous activity.
Works differently for each family, of course. And the fewer rules a
family had to start with will have fewer problems The fewer mandatory
chores a family had, the more floaties and noodles your children might
toss to you if they see you're struggling
The more overall issues you've been dealing with (just out of school,
authoritarian/controlling parenting/serious chores and homework issues/
strict bedtimes and food restrictions and heavy limits on TV, computers
and gaming), the more you might need a Newfoundland dog which could
rescue all the drowning souls! <G> 'Cause *everyone* is in over his
head!
Having *YES* floaties and water wings and noodles and life-rings
floating around the pool gives them more opportunities to cling to what
they're most comfortable wit
Just saying yes more will make the transition smoother. Keep you saner.
<g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.