Sara

in our journey in 'unschooling' we are facing hard times!

our families are giving us hard time, both my family and my husband's
family. I am truely shocked how they are trying to manipulate us into
getting our son, Shalom back to school.
If you remember me, its us whom the school expelled Shalom based on
vaccination issues. more info is on http://myspace.com/nurturinghome
in our blog under the subject 'our principal is trying to force us to
vaccinate our son'
Shalom is still 'deschooling' tending to look at movies in the
computer he somehow learned to type in google videos, which requires
reading. Based on it, I assume he is in reading level of first grade
(he is 5 years old)
Shalom is sad he was expelled from school and misses school. So
sticking to 'unschooling' principle, I would happily send him back to
school if the school will only let us!
Our family researched for other schools and found other school in our
area. But the principal in our school got angry as he googled and
found my posting in myspace. He tries to spread about us lies that we
are trouble makers, to ensure no other schools will want to accept
Shalom. His purpose is to get us to give up, then vaccinate Shalom
then beg them to accept him back to HIS school. Or simply to take
revenge. I have no idea.
Now no school wants to accept Shalom. We don't care. we would be happy
to unschool! But our son told me he misses school so much and wants to
go back to school.

Our family are frantically calling all of the schools in the area
begging them to let our son to any of them. We are not the ones to do
these calls! Once we visited my parents. my son asked us permission to
stay over my parents few days. We didn't mind as we knew my dad is
good with music and he goes to differnt places that might interest our
son.
So he stayed over my parents few days until we came to visit again in
the weekend. I saw a change in Shalom's behavior. He looks sadder and
has more temper tarnturms than he ever had before. I see fear in his
eyes!
Our parents lectured us about trying to meet various schools in their
area even its 45 minutes - 1 hour away from our house. they offered us
to leave Shalom in their house. (which doesn't make sense!! He has to
grow up in his parent's house not his grandparents!) They
alternativelly offered he will be driven back and forth from school to
our home, (which will end him needing to wake up really early in the
morning to get on the ride, then returning very late like at 8 - 10
pm! which again, doesn't make sense!!) When we pointed them these
issues, my parents offered us to move to their area, even my husband's
job is in our area, and the housing in their area is much more
expensive, and not to mention all of our friends are in our
neighborhood and not in theirs.
Then my parents got us meeting with the rabbi's wife (we are jews) in
the block. she also lectured us trying to persuade us to get him in a
school in their area. She offered an idea about another school in our
area. We told her that school was too stressfull, as we asked kids
from there they weren't happy, she pooh poohed it and said Shalom
needs a system, not being at home doing nothing.
I felt terrible about all of the privacy invasion. Everyone says they
are only helping us. They don't realize their help is unwanted!!! they
don't realize they are messing up with our sanity making us crazy!
They can offer help but not FORCE!
Anyway when we prepared to go home, Shalom started screaming he
doesn't want to go home. He started to panic and crying. When I asked
him what is the problem he sobbed saying that he has no school in our
home, and he will have school in my parent's area. (then i found out
my dad took our son to a school without telling us, registering there,
paying 600 dollars!) Then I realized he was brainwashed that being not
schooled is a terrible thing. Shalom looks so scared and lost.
Our parents and family have no idea what they are doing to us!!
When we took Shalom back home scraming and crying (knowing my mom will
tell my dad about this, then my dad will 'prove' it as we are unfit to
be parents!)
When we arrived home, my husband found out in his pager his brother's
emails: His brother said in his emails: if you don't get your child
back to a school in the next few days, I am going to report you to the
social workers that we are neglecting our child by not getting him
into a school system.
we were shocked and don't know what to do! We are feeling invaded! we
feel pryed and disrespected.
I guess his brother allows himself to do this to us, because he helped
us financially to buy our house and car instead of the car that broke
down.
By the way a school that is in our area, another one a small one and
is more relaxed heared about us from more people, not from the school'
s principal realized we are good people and not trouble makers so as
Shalom is begging us to let him go to school, it might work out. If
Shalom will change his mind and want to be unschooled, we will happily
let him to be!
Maybe they are treating us this way because we are a deaf couple?

So what are your advices for the legal issues with my husband's
brother? about my and his family's invasing our lives? And how can I
help my poor child who was probably lectured and brainwashed.. and he
is so unhappy and fearfull and stressfull!!
help!
thank you if you could read it all!

Sara

Jennifer Dion

Sara
Your story is heart breaking. I don't think you have anything to worry about. We did foster care for years. What a wonderful family. I peek on your myspace. Your kids look so happy. Your the parents stick to your guns.You know what is best.Keep the faith.
Jennifer

Sara <nurturinghome@...> wrote:
in our journey in 'unschooling' we are facing hard times!

our families are giving us hard time, both my family and my husband's
family. I am truely shocked how they are trying to manipulate us into
getting our son, Shalom back to school.
If you remember me, its us whom the school expelled Shalom based on
vaccination issues. more info is on http://myspace.com/nurturinghome
in our blog under the subject 'our principal is trying to force us to
vaccinate our son'
Shalom is still 'deschooling' tending to look at movies in the
computer he somehow learned to type in google videos, which requires
reading. Based on it, I assume he is in reading level of first grade
(he is 5 years old)
Shalom is sad he was expelled from school and misses school. So
sticking to 'unschooling' principle, I would happily send him back to
school if the school will only let us!
Our family researched for other schools and found other school in our
area. But the principal in our school got angry as he googled and
found my posting in myspace. He tries to spread about us lies that we
are trouble makers, to ensure no other schools will want to accept
Shalom. His purpose is to get us to give up, then vaccinate Shalom
then beg them to accept him back to HIS school. Or simply to take
revenge. I have no idea.
Now no school wants to accept Shalom. We don't care. we would be happy
to unschool! But our son told me he misses school so much and wants to
go back to school.

Our family are frantically calling all of the schools in the area
begging them to let our son to any of them. We are not the ones to do
these calls! Once we visited my parents. my son asked us permission to
stay over my parents few days. We didn't mind as we knew my dad is
good with music and he goes to differnt places that might interest our
son.
So he stayed over my parents few days until we came to visit again in
the weekend. I saw a change in Shalom's behavior. He looks sadder and
has more temper tarnturms than he ever had before. I see fear in his
eyes!
Our parents lectured us about trying to meet various schools in their
area even its 45 minutes - 1 hour away from our house. they offered us
to leave Shalom in their house. (which doesn't make sense!! He has to
grow up in his parent's house not his grandparents!) They
alternativelly offered he will be driven back and forth from school to
our home, (which will end him needing to wake up really early in the
morning to get on the ride, then returning very late like at 8 - 10
pm! which again, doesn't make sense!!) When we pointed them these
issues, my parents offered us to move to their area, even my husband's
job is in our area, and the housing in their area is much more
expensive, and not to mention all of our friends are in our
neighborhood and not in theirs.
Then my parents got us meeting with the rabbi's wife (we are jews) in
the block. she also lectured us trying to persuade us to get him in a
school in their area. She offered an idea about another school in our
area. We told her that school was too stressfull, as we asked kids
from there they weren't happy, she pooh poohed it and said Shalom
needs a system, not being at home doing nothing.
I felt terrible about all of the privacy invasion. Everyone says they
are only helping us. They don't realize their help is unwanted!!! they
don't realize they are messing up with our sanity making us crazy!
They can offer help but not FORCE!
Anyway when we prepared to go home, Shalom started screaming he
doesn't want to go home. He started to panic and crying. When I asked
him what is the problem he sobbed saying that he has no school in our
home, and he will have school in my parent's area. (then i found out
my dad took our son to a school without telling us, registering there,
paying 600 dollars!) Then I realized he was brainwashed that being not
schooled is a terrible thing. Shalom looks so scared and lost.
Our parents and family have no idea what they are doing to us!!
When we took Shalom back home scraming and crying (knowing my mom will
tell my dad about this, then my dad will 'prove' it as we are unfit to
be parents!)
When we arrived home, my husband found out in his pager his brother's
emails: His brother said in his emails: if you don't get your child
back to a school in the next few days, I am going to report you to the
social workers that we are neglecting our child by not getting him
into a school system.
we were shocked and don't know what to do! We are feeling invaded! we
feel pryed and disrespected.
I guess his brother allows himself to do this to us, because he helped
us financially to buy our house and car instead of the car that broke
down.
By the way a school that is in our area, another one a small one and
is more relaxed heared about us from more people, not from the school'
s principal realized we are good people and not trouble makers so as
Shalom is begging us to let him go to school, it might work out. If
Shalom will change his mind and want to be unschooled, we will happily
let him to be!
Maybe they are treating us this way because we are a deaf couple?

So what are your advices for the legal issues with my husband's
brother? about my and his family's invasing our lives? And how can I
help my poor child who was probably lectured and brainwashed.. and he
is so unhappy and fearfull and stressfull!!
help!
thank you if you could read it all!

Sara






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

rn9302000

Sara,
What state are you in? I know most states allow philosophical and/or
religion as reasons not to vaccinate. as for reporting you for not
having him in school , again depends on your state but at 5 yo he is
probably not even of compulsory age yet anyway.
As for the family advice, I would politely tell them you will handle
this on your own, and don't allow them to manipulate you and interfere
in you and how your are raising your son,
just my .02
Diane




--- In [email protected], "Sara" <nurturinghome@...>
wrote:
>
> in our journey in 'unschooling' we are facing hard times!
>
> our families are giving us hard time, both my family and my husband's
> family. I am truely shocked how they are trying to manipulate us into
> getting our son, Shalom back to school.
> If you remember me, its us whom the school expelled Shalom based on
> vaccination issues. more info is on http://myspace.com/nurturinghome
> in our blog under the subject 'our principal is trying to force us to
> vaccinate our son'
> Shalom is still 'deschooling' tending to look at movies in the
> computer he somehow learned to type in google videos, which requires
> reading. Based on it, I assume he is in reading level of first grade
> (he is 5 years old)
> Shalom is sad he was expelled from school and misses school. So
> sticking to 'unschooling' principle, I would happily send him back to
> school if the school will only let us!
> Our family researched for other schools and found other school in our
> area. But the principal in our school got angry as he googled and
> found my posting in myspace. He tries to spread about us lies that we
> are trouble makers, to ensure no other schools will want to accept
> Shalom. His purpose is to get us to give up, then vaccinate Shalom
> then beg them to accept him back to HIS school. Or simply to take
> revenge. I have no idea.
> Now no school wants to accept Shalom. We don't care. we would be happy
> to unschool! But our son told me he misses school so much and wants to
> go back to school.
>
> Our family are frantically calling all of the schools in the area
> begging them to let our son to any of them. We are not the ones to do
> these calls! Once we visited my parents. my son asked us permission to
> stay over my parents few days. We didn't mind as we knew my dad is
> good with music and he goes to differnt places that might interest our
> son.
> So he stayed over my parents few days until we came to visit again in
> the weekend. I saw a change in Shalom's behavior. He looks sadder and
> has more temper tarnturms than he ever had before. I see fear in his
> eyes!
> Our parents lectured us about trying to meet various schools in their
> area even its 45 minutes - 1 hour away from our house. they offered us
> to leave Shalom in their house. (which doesn't make sense!! He has to
> grow up in his parent's house not his grandparents!) They
> alternativelly offered he will be driven back and forth from school to
> our home, (which will end him needing to wake up really early in the
> morning to get on the ride, then returning very late like at 8 - 10
> pm! which again, doesn't make sense!!) When we pointed them these
> issues, my parents offered us to move to their area, even my husband's
> job is in our area, and the housing in their area is much more
> expensive, and not to mention all of our friends are in our
> neighborhood and not in theirs.
> Then my parents got us meeting with the rabbi's wife (we are jews) in
> the block. she also lectured us trying to persuade us to get him in a
> school in their area. She offered an idea about another school in our
> area. We told her that school was too stressfull, as we asked kids
> from there they weren't happy, she pooh poohed it and said Shalom
> needs a system, not being at home doing nothing.
> I felt terrible about all of the privacy invasion. Everyone says they
> are only helping us. They don't realize their help is unwanted!!! they
> don't realize they are messing up with our sanity making us crazy!
> They can offer help but not FORCE!
> Anyway when we prepared to go home, Shalom started screaming he
> doesn't want to go home. He started to panic and crying. When I asked
> him what is the problem he sobbed saying that he has no school in our
> home, and he will have school in my parent's area. (then i found out
> my dad took our son to a school without telling us, registering there,
> paying 600 dollars!) Then I realized he was brainwashed that being not
> schooled is a terrible thing. Shalom looks so scared and lost.
> Our parents and family have no idea what they are doing to us!!
> When we took Shalom back home scraming and crying (knowing my mom will
> tell my dad about this, then my dad will 'prove' it as we are unfit to
> be parents!)
> When we arrived home, my husband found out in his pager his brother's
> emails: His brother said in his emails: if you don't get your child
> back to a school in the next few days, I am going to report you to the
> social workers that we are neglecting our child by not getting him
> into a school system.
> we were shocked and don't know what to do! We are feeling invaded! we
> feel pryed and disrespected.
> I guess his brother allows himself to do this to us, because he helped
> us financially to buy our house and car instead of the car that broke
> down.
> By the way a school that is in our area, another one a small one and
> is more relaxed heared about us from more people, not from the school'
> s principal realized we are good people and not trouble makers so as
> Shalom is begging us to let him go to school, it might work out. If
> Shalom will change his mind and want to be unschooled, we will happily
> let him to be!
> Maybe they are treating us this way because we are a deaf couple?
>
> So what are your advices for the legal issues with my husband's
> brother? about my and his family's invasing our lives? And how can I
> help my poor child who was probably lectured and brainwashed.. and he
> is so unhappy and fearfull and stressfull!!
> help!
> thank you if you could read it all!
>
> Sara
>

rn9302000

Sara,
I just saw your myspace and that you are in NJ......compulsory age is
6 yo and if Shalom is 5 yo your brother in law has no legal basis for
reporting your for not having him in school. He doesn't have to be
there. Also you are in one of the most relaxed states for homeschooling.
I don't think you have a thing to worry about. Also I see there is a
bill pending allowing philosophical reasons not to vaccinate. Now your
state allows religious reasons, which I feel you can say apply to you.
Hang in there, you know what is best for your family!
Good luck,
Diane


--- In [email protected], "rn9302000" <rn930@...> wrote:
>
> Sara,
> What state are you in? I know most states allow philosophical and/or
> religion as reasons not to vaccinate. as for reporting you for not
> having him in school , again depends on your state but at 5 yo he is
> probably not even of compulsory age yet anyway.
> As for the family advice, I would politely tell them you will handle
> this on your own, and don't allow them to manipulate you and interfere
> in you and how your are raising your son,
> just my .02
> Diane
>
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], "Sara" <nurturinghome@>
> wrote:
> >
> > in our journey in 'unschooling' we are facing hard times!
> >
> > our families are giving us hard time, both my family and my husband's
> > family. I am truely shocked how they are trying to manipulate us into
> > getting our son, Shalom back to school.
> > If you remember me, its us whom the school expelled Shalom based on
> > vaccination issues. more info is on http://myspace.com/nurturinghome
> > in our blog under the subject 'our principal is trying to force us to
> > vaccinate our son'
> > Shalom is still 'deschooling' tending to look at movies in the
> > computer he somehow learned to type in google videos, which requires
> > reading. Based on it, I assume he is in reading level of first grade
> > (he is 5 years old)
> > Shalom is sad he was expelled from school and misses school. So
> > sticking to 'unschooling' principle, I would happily send him back to
> > school if the school will only let us!
> > Our family researched for other schools and found other school in our
> > area. But the principal in our school got angry as he googled and
> > found my posting in myspace. He tries to spread about us lies that we
> > are trouble makers, to ensure no other schools will want to accept
> > Shalom. His purpose is to get us to give up, then vaccinate Shalom
> > then beg them to accept him back to HIS school. Or simply to take
> > revenge. I have no idea.
> > Now no school wants to accept Shalom. We don't care. we would be happy
> > to unschool! But our son told me he misses school so much and wants to
> > go back to school.
> >
> > Our family are frantically calling all of the schools in the area
> > begging them to let our son to any of them. We are not the ones to do
> > these calls! Once we visited my parents. my son asked us permission to
> > stay over my parents few days. We didn't mind as we knew my dad is
> > good with music and he goes to differnt places that might interest our
> > son.
> > So he stayed over my parents few days until we came to visit again in
> > the weekend. I saw a change in Shalom's behavior. He looks sadder and
> > has more temper tarnturms than he ever had before. I see fear in his
> > eyes!
> > Our parents lectured us about trying to meet various schools in their
> > area even its 45 minutes - 1 hour away from our house. they offered us
> > to leave Shalom in their house. (which doesn't make sense!! He has to
> > grow up in his parent's house not his grandparents!) They
> > alternativelly offered he will be driven back and forth from school to
> > our home, (which will end him needing to wake up really early in the
> > morning to get on the ride, then returning very late like at 8 - 10
> > pm! which again, doesn't make sense!!) When we pointed them these
> > issues, my parents offered us to move to their area, even my husband's
> > job is in our area, and the housing in their area is much more
> > expensive, and not to mention all of our friends are in our
> > neighborhood and not in theirs.
> > Then my parents got us meeting with the rabbi's wife (we are jews) in
> > the block. she also lectured us trying to persuade us to get him in a
> > school in their area. She offered an idea about another school in our
> > area. We told her that school was too stressfull, as we asked kids
> > from there they weren't happy, she pooh poohed it and said Shalom
> > needs a system, not being at home doing nothing.
> > I felt terrible about all of the privacy invasion. Everyone says they
> > are only helping us. They don't realize their help is unwanted!!! they
> > don't realize they are messing up with our sanity making us crazy!
> > They can offer help but not FORCE!
> > Anyway when we prepared to go home, Shalom started screaming he
> > doesn't want to go home. He started to panic and crying. When I asked
> > him what is the problem he sobbed saying that he has no school in our
> > home, and he will have school in my parent's area. (then i found out
> > my dad took our son to a school without telling us, registering there,
> > paying 600 dollars!) Then I realized he was brainwashed that being not
> > schooled is a terrible thing. Shalom looks so scared and lost.
> > Our parents and family have no idea what they are doing to us!!
> > When we took Shalom back home scraming and crying (knowing my mom will
> > tell my dad about this, then my dad will 'prove' it as we are unfit to
> > be parents!)
> > When we arrived home, my husband found out in his pager his brother's
> > emails: His brother said in his emails: if you don't get your child
> > back to a school in the next few days, I am going to report you to the
> > social workers that we are neglecting our child by not getting him
> > into a school system.
> > we were shocked and don't know what to do! We are feeling invaded! we
> > feel pryed and disrespected.
> > I guess his brother allows himself to do this to us, because he helped
> > us financially to buy our house and car instead of the car that broke
> > down.
> > By the way a school that is in our area, another one a small one and
> > is more relaxed heared about us from more people, not from the school'
> > s principal realized we are good people and not trouble makers so as
> > Shalom is begging us to let him go to school, it might work out. If
> > Shalom will change his mind and want to be unschooled, we will happily
> > let him to be!
> > Maybe they are treating us this way because we are a deaf couple?
> >
> > So what are your advices for the legal issues with my husband's
> > brother? about my and his family's invasing our lives? And how can I
> > help my poor child who was probably lectured and brainwashed.. and he
> > is so unhappy and fearfull and stressfull!!
> > help!
> > thank you if you could read it all!
> >
> > Sara
> >
>

Cameron Parham

DO NOT SEND YOUR CHILD WITH ANYONE while this is going on, and probably not for SEVERAL years. Show the family that you are responsible adults by taking charge. Accept that these controlling people will NOT give you permission to live your own lives and you must take back your lives without their permission. As to whether your brother can report you for not sending a 5 year old to school: this may depend on where you live. Where I live compulsory education starts at age 7 and no one can prove truancy or educational neglect below that age, BUT those who have bought into the system will pressure you and hope that you don't know the laws. I suggest joining Homeschool Legal Defense. They are a Christian group (just to let you know--they NEVER have asked my religious beliefs) that is very competent in defending legal cases and helping fight off sicial workers. They have a 24-hour emergency line and recommend that if a social worker or truant officer arrives at your door that
you hold them outside and call. They will immediately take your call. They know the laws in all 50 states and the federal laws. Thy will tell the worker to leave and return witha court-issued warrant. They will defend you for free in court. If you do not agree that your dh's (husband's) brother has purchased the right to run your lives, don't let him move an inch down that path. And consider yourself warned that his help may be a bid for control over you, and refuse it in the future. No objects are worth that. I'd be willing to bet that your being deaf is a little part of this, to the extent that controlling families will take any perceived weakness and use it to tighten the chains. My family is controlling, too... I know. The weakness in me which they exploit in the name of help is my chronic disorganization.
Your son must not be jerked around like this anymore. I have had to subtly teach my family that is they cause my children or me sadness they cannot have access to the kids. I taught this in a way that works best for my family (since they aren't honest about not trusting me, and certainly don't see themselves as controlling, just 'wanting what's best for us'). I just refused invitations, became hard to find, did not invite them to my home. People like your family and mine do what thy do out of FEAR. They think you are desperately wrong and that they must resue you and your children from this wrongness. My own parents acted like I was choosing to feed my son heroin. They grilled my kids on their knowlege and made my kids feel terribly insecure. I regret letting them treat my kids that way one second, but as I had been raised to accept this control as love, and I do love them, that it took me a while to get it. Control is not love, it is negation of one's soul. X-ing a
person out.
Find out the laws of your state, both about legal refusal of immunizations and about truancy and homeschooling. Remember that if your son is under the age of compulsory attendance that no educational law is relevant. Take control. Don't let your husband give up his job, don't move, don't send your son away. He is very young. He is YOURS. What you tell him about this is up to YOU, but this doesn't need to be discussed like it's an emergency with him. For now you choose to learn at home....And hey, you can give him a bilingual education (if he is hearing, he'll learn to sign and speak I'll bet). God gave this child to you not to your parents! You can do this!!


----- Original Message ----
From: Sara <nurturinghome@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, March 19, 2007 1:00:09 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] still new with unschooling (long!)

in our journey in 'unschooling' we are facing hard times!

our families are giving us hard time, both my family and my husband's
family. I am truely shocked how they are trying to manipulate us into
getting our son, Shalom back to school.
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Brian & Alexandra Polikowsky

Sara,
What does Shalom misses from school? Can you provide that to him?
If it is friends, finding a homeschooling group to go, classes like Karate, arts, etc
Find out what and get it for him.
Alex

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@...


DO NOT SEND YOUR CHILD WITH ANYONE while this is going on, and
probably not for
SEVERAL years. Show the family that you are responsible adults by
taking charge.
Accept that these controlling people will NOT give you permission to
live your
own lives and you must take back your lives without their permission.
As to
whether your brother can report you for not sending a 5 year old to
school: this
may depend on where you live. Where I live compulsory education starts
at age 7
and no one can prove truancy or educational neglect below that age, BUT
those
who have bought into the system will pressure you and hope that you
don't know
the laws.

-=-==

YES!

-=-=-=-=-=-

I suggest joining Homeschool Legal Defense. They are a Christian group
(just to let you know--they NEVER have asked my religious beliefs) that
is very
competent in defending legal cases and helping fight off sicial
workers. They
have a 24-hour emergency line and recommend that if a social worker or
truant
officer arrives at your door that
you hold them outside and call. They will immediately take your call.
They
know the laws in all 50 states and the federal laws. Thy will tell the
worker to
leave and return witha court-issued warrant. They will defend you for
free in
court.

-=-=-

NONONONO!!!!

H$LDA will do nothing to help an unschooler. Your $100 does NOT oblige
them to defend you in court.

They're getting rich off homeschoolers' FEAR.

They have an agenda, and if your problem does not further their cause,
they will do nothing to help you.

They *are* a Christian organization with a bizarre world view. Stay
away.

Try instead NHELD http://www.nheld.com/

-=-=-=-=-=-

People like your family and
mine do what thy do out of FEAR. They think you are desperately wrong
and that
they must resue you and your children from this wrongness.

-=-=-=-

And the best way to change their minds is by asserting yourself and
taking charge of your immediate family's welfare.

Don't allow others to dictate how you will live.

-=-=-=-=-

Find out the laws of your state, both about legal refusal of
immunizations
and about truancy and homeschooling. Remember that if your son is under
the age
of compulsory attendance that no educational law is relevant. Take
control.
Don't let your husband give up his job, don't move, don't send your son
away.

-=-=-=

YES! BE knowledgable. Know the law. That knowledge is power.


~Kelly
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.

Sara

--- In [email protected], "Brian & Alexandra
Polikowsky" <polykow@...> wrote:
>
> Sara,
> What does Shalom misses from school? Can you provide that to him?
> If it is friends, finding a homeschooling group to go, classes like
Karate, arts, etc
> Find out what and get it for him.
> Alex
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
I wish I had a car now! our area everything is so far, needing to walk
an hour in every direction. and this weather is dead freezing.
(bringing along a baby in stroller too) with my 3 year old girl. I
can't wait until we will be able to afford a second car. There is one
unschooling family in our neighborhood within walking distance, but we
can't come to them everyday, LOL
These are the times I feel suffocated and unable to move!

Cameron Parham

RE: just say no to HSDLDA. I am very happy to hear of another org that may help defend unschoolers better. While I know that HSLDA has its own agenda, I have encountered very few people or organizations who don't. This was the only org I knew of which seems able to deal with social workers while they are still on the front porch. I will certainly check out the other org!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I am very happy to hear of another org that may help defend unschoolers better. While I know that HSLDA has its own agenda, I have encountered very few people or organizations who don't. This was the only org I knew of which seems able to deal with social workers while they are still on the front porch. I will certainly check out the other org!
*****************
http://www.homeschoolingislegal.info/
For more info on HSLDA's agenda.
Elissa Jill
OTN:
Stitch of the Day Swatch
silk/wool blend tie front mini sweater
http://mystikmusings.blogspot.com/

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Cameron Parham

Sara...Thinking of you today, hoping you are holding up, and gathering knowlege! My friend who homeschools a deaf 13 yo dd says there is a support group for deaf homeschooling parents. They may or may not be unschoolers. My friend says she hasn't visited their website in several years. I sure second helping Shalom find what he loves and doing it, even away from home. But maybe it was something that can be done right at home. Do you know?
Cameron


----- Original Message ----
From: Brian & Alexandra Polikowsky <polykow@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, March 19, 2007 9:56:12 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] still new with unschooling (long!)

Sara,
What does Shalom misses from school? Can you provide that to him?
If it is friends, finding a homeschooling group to go, classes like Karate, arts, etc
Find out what and get it for him.
Alex

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

donna.bowles

Hello Sara,

I can really feel your frustration and desperation! Please take
heart, you can do this, and no one can stop you unless you let
them. ;)

Here's a FAQ from the NJ Department of Education.
http://www.state.nj.us/njded/genfo/overview/faq_homeschool.htm
It should clear up any misunderstanding your parents and your brother-
in-law have about what *they* can do to stop you.

I also suggest finding a homeschool group focused on NJ homeschool
issues, in case you need support from a professional organization.
I'm in Texas, but I found this group, it looks like they may be a
good place to start, but I'm sure there are others, too.
http://www.geocities.com/jerseyhome/

As for the vaccines, that's tough in NJ because there is no current
exemption for 'reasons of conscience'. The religious angle may work,
but you'd have to find a Rabbi to agree with you. Look at the
National Vaccine Information Center's website for help and
information. http://nvic.org/Default.htm Meanwhile, you may want to
stop putting your son in a position to have his immunization records
questioned...your obviously not going to get anywhere with the Rabbi
from his old school. It may also be making him feel singled out to
be the point of contention of this issue. I doubt you intend to make
him feel like he's somehow less than everyone else, but I don't think
his old school is above that kind of tactic to put pressure on you.
Your choice not to vaccinate is for the benefit of your son's health,
and fighting with his school about it isn't healthy for him or you.

If your son seems to want to go back to school, consider the
possibility that that desire is a reflection of all the chaos
surrounding the issue. In his eyes, all of the tension and fighting
would stop if he could just go back to school. I respect your wish
to respect your son, and allow him to decide if he wants to go to
school, there is nothing wrong with that. Because there *is* so much
tension around this issue, give him some time to decompress, and keep
the people who are causing you problems away from him until he has
had that time. It sounds to me like they are *using* your son and
his emotions to manipulate you. They can't be allow to do that, and
if they wont stop, they need to stay away from him. That's hard when
you live so close to so many relatives, but they can't be allowed to
be hurtful to your son *even if they mean well*. Act the same way
you would if they were abusing him in any other way: Remove your son
from the situation, state your position on the issue, and give them
the space they need to decide if they want to make changes so they
can be part of your family's lives, or if they refuse to change at
the expense of their relationship with you and your family.

Have faith in yourself and your son; it may take courage, but you
*really do know what's best for him*!

Donna B.

--- In [email protected], "Sara" <nurturinghome@...>
wrote:
>
> in our journey in 'unschooling' we are facing hard times!
>
> our families are giving us hard time, both my family and my
husband's
> family. I am truely shocked how they are trying to manipulate us
into
> getting our son, Shalom back to school.
> If you remember me, its us whom the school expelled Shalom based on
> vaccination issues. more info is on http://myspace.com/nurturinghome
> in our blog under the subject 'our principal is trying to force us
to
> vaccinate our son'
> Shalom is still 'deschooling' tending to look at movies in the
> computer he somehow learned to type in google videos, which requires
> reading. Based on it, I assume he is in reading level of first grade
> (he is 5 years old)
> Shalom is sad he was expelled from school and misses school. So
> sticking to 'unschooling' principle, I would happily send him back
to
> school if the school will only let us!
> Our family researched for other schools and found other school in
our
> area. But the principal in our school got angry as he googled and
> found my posting in myspace. He tries to spread about us lies that
we
> are trouble makers, to ensure no other schools will want to accept
> Shalom. His purpose is to get us to give up, then vaccinate Shalom
> then beg them to accept him back to HIS school. Or simply to take
> revenge. I have no idea.
> Now no school wants to accept Shalom. We don't care. we would be
happy
> to unschool! But our son told me he misses school so much and wants
to
> go back to school.
>
> Our family are frantically calling all of the schools in the area
> begging them to let our son to any of them. We are not the ones to
do
> these calls! Once we visited my parents. my son asked us permission
to
> stay over my parents few days. We didn't mind as we knew my dad is
> good with music and he goes to differnt places that might interest
our
> son.
> So he stayed over my parents few days until we came to visit again
in
> the weekend. I saw a change in Shalom's behavior. He looks sadder
and
> has more temper tarnturms than he ever had before. I see fear in his
> eyes!
> Our parents lectured us about trying to meet various schools in
their
> area even its 45 minutes - 1 hour away from our house. they offered
us
> to leave Shalom in their house. (which doesn't make sense!! He has
to
> grow up in his parent's house not his grandparents!) They
> alternativelly offered he will be driven back and forth from school
to
> our home, (which will end him needing to wake up really early in the
> morning to get on the ride, then returning very late like at 8 - 10
> pm! which again, doesn't make sense!!) When we pointed them these
> issues, my parents offered us to move to their area, even my
husband's
> job is in our area, and the housing in their area is much more
> expensive, and not to mention all of our friends are in our
> neighborhood and not in theirs.
> Then my parents got us meeting with the rabbi's wife (we are jews)
in
> the block. she also lectured us trying to persuade us to get him in
a
> school in their area. She offered an idea about another school in
our
> area. We told her that school was too stressfull, as we asked kids
> from there they weren't happy, she pooh poohed it and said Shalom
> needs a system, not being at home doing nothing.
> I felt terrible about all of the privacy invasion. Everyone says
they
> are only helping us. They don't realize their help is unwanted!!!
they
> don't realize they are messing up with our sanity making us crazy!
> They can offer help but not FORCE!
> Anyway when we prepared to go home, Shalom started screaming he
> doesn't want to go home. He started to panic and crying. When I
asked
> him what is the problem he sobbed saying that he has no school in
our
> home, and he will have school in my parent's area. (then i found out
> my dad took our son to a school without telling us, registering
there,
> paying 600 dollars!) Then I realized he was brainwashed that being
not
> schooled is a terrible thing. Shalom looks so scared and lost.
> Our parents and family have no idea what they are doing to us!!
> When we took Shalom back home scraming and crying (knowing my mom
will
> tell my dad about this, then my dad will 'prove' it as we are unfit
to
> be parents!)
> When we arrived home, my husband found out in his pager his
brother's
> emails: His brother said in his emails: if you don't get your child
> back to a school in the next few days, I am going to report you to
the
> social workers that we are neglecting our child by not getting him
> into a school system.
> we were shocked and don't know what to do! We are feeling invaded!
we
> feel pryed and disrespected.
> I guess his brother allows himself to do this to us, because he
helped
> us financially to buy our house and car instead of the car that
broke
> down.
> By the way a school that is in our area, another one a small one and
> is more relaxed heared about us from more people, not from the
school'
> s principal realized we are good people and not trouble makers so as
> Shalom is begging us to let him go to school, it might work out. If
> Shalom will change his mind and want to be unschooled, we will
happily
> let him to be!
> Maybe they are treating us this way because we are a deaf couple?
>
> So what are your advices for the legal issues with my husband's
> brother? about my and his family's invasing our lives? And how can I
> help my poor child who was probably lectured and brainwashed.. and
he
> is so unhappy and fearfull and stressfull!!
> help!
> thank you if you could read it all!
>
> Sara
>

zanyzingzap

Hi Sara, I am sorry to hear of your struggles. I can't imagine having to go
through what you have described. While my family does not understand my
choice to unschool (other than my Dad who is completely supportive!) they at
least leave us alone about it so far.



I read in one of the posts you are in NJ, is that correct? Have you joined
the NJ-unschooling yahoo group? There may be other people near you on that
list as well. I am in Burlington County NJ. There is also the NJIHS (new
jersey inclusive homeschoolers).



I hope you can find more support for you and your family. I am a transplant
here so I am not totally familiar with the state or its resources here, I
wish I could offer more.



By the way mandatory schooling ages in NJ are 6-16 so your family can not
"report" you for truancy. :-) Or rather they can try, but wouldn't be likely
to succeed.



I hope things get better for you.

lisa



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lisa Heyman

>As for the vaccines, that's tough in NJ because there is no current
>exemption for 'reasons of conscience'. The religious angle may work,
>but you'd have to find a Rabbi to agree with you.

I don't know if this is necessarily so. I don't know NJ laws regarding
vaccine exemptions but in NY where also you can only be exempt for religious
reasons however no one can not ask what religion you are. So there is no
need to find a Rabbi or other religious official. You simply state when
asked that you chose not to vacinate for religious reasons. If someone asks
what religion, in NY, you can reply by informing them they are really not
supposed to ask that question.

Lisa Heyman

_________________________________________________________________
Live Search Maps � find all the local information you need, right when you
need it. http://maps.live.com/?icid=hmtag2&FORM=MGAC01

Kelly

Hi Sara,



As someone else here mentioned already, you are in one of the best states to
unschool in. I'm wondering what resources you are currently availing
yourself of to help ease your son into homeschooling. There are many in your
area. I'm in Essex County, right next door to you. There are several local
home/un-schooling yahoo groups that you can join to learn about the wide
variety of activities available. Perhaps if your son were to meet other kids
his age, he would start to feel more comfortable about not being in school.
Here are 3 links for local groups to start with:



http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NJ-Unschooling/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gecho_nj/?yguid=235225792

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TLC_Bergen_Rockland/?yguid=235225792



There are several events/gatherings each week that are pretty regularly
scheduled, not to mention all the spontaneous get-togethers that happen.
Hope this helps!



Kelly



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sara

hey, wow thank you for your helping! I am defiently going to join
these yahoo groups! I have an issue.. I have a bad habit to surf the
internet too much and not playing with my children enough. It was easy
when they were all in the school. I had the day for myself only. Now I
have to overcome my laziness and start be active with my son. My son
now is glueing himself to the computer games and movies.. now he is
researching a computer game that is for 6 years olds to 10 years olds.
one game was to connect numbered dots into a picture in increasing
difficulty levels. he done them..which requires him to read the
numbers correctly and connecting them in the right order.
Its hard to feel confident as to my family point of view it looks to
them my son is doing nothing and being addicted to the computer. I
want to start encouraging him to do more things.. and get myself off
the internet addiction! so we have a relatively good sized back yard.
I want to start a garden but have no idea where to start from! It
would be great to have us busy taking care of the garden growing food!
As well i wish to adopt a baby kitten. these things will keep my son
busy and less on the computer.
Where can I learn how to start a garden?

By the way my house is facing a city park.. suppose I would make
weekly regular meetings in that park with the NJ area homeschoolers
families making friends, then if they feel comfortable then let them
coming in my house once weekly..
is that done in homeschooling communities?
I guess many of my questions show my ignorance as I grew in extremely
mainstream background!

Thank you again!


Sara

katharinewise

I tried clicking on this link and got to a message saying, "Sorry,
this group is for members only. You are not a member." I didn't even
get the group's homepage with description and info on how to subscribe.

So I tried searching Yahoo Groups for NJ-Unschooling, NJ Unschooling,
NJ Unschoolers with no luck. Well, I got several other groups, but
not this one. Is it by invitation only or something? How do you find it?

Katharine (who admittedly doesn't live in NJ any longer, but wishes
she did)

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NJ-Unschooling/

Kelly

I think I searched Yahoo Groups for Unschooling, NJ, or maybe
Homeschooling, NJ. Anyway, if you'd like to join, there should be a
blue box somewhere on your screen that says "Join this group." If
there's not, feel free to email me off-list and I'll see what I can do
to get you connected. We actually have a very active member who lives
in DC, but she stays cause it's such a great group of people!

Sara, please feel free to email me off-list as well if you are having
any difficulty connecting to the NJ links.

Kelly





--- In [email protected], "katharinewise"
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
>
> I tried clicking on this link and got to a message saying, "Sorry,
> this group is for members only. You are not a member." I didn't even
> get the group's homepage with description and info on how to
subscribe.
>
> So I tried searching Yahoo Groups for NJ-Unschooling, NJ Unschooling,
> NJ Unschoolers with no luck. Well, I got several other groups, but
> not this one. Is it by invitation only or something? How do you
find it?
>
> Katharine (who admittedly doesn't live in NJ any longer, but wishes
> she did)
>
> > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NJ-Unschooling/
>

Kristie Cochran

Hi Sara,

You may want to check out the book "All New Square Foot Gardening, Grow
More in Less Space" by Mel Bartholomew. Make sure you get the new one,
from 2005 http://snipurl.com/1dlms
I want to do this with my boys as well. I love to have home-grown
veggies, and this way of gardening will make it so much easier!

Yes, try to get involved in some park days with other home/unschoolers
in your area. That will help you gain confidence in your decision and
help your son too!

Kristie in VA

Joyce Fetteroll

On Mar 21, 2007, at 2:40 AM, Sara wrote:

> by the way, I can't open the link to that group
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NJ-Unschooling/ as it says its available
> only to the members. how can I contact that group to join?

Could be they've made it private and you need the owner to approve you.

Try sending an email to:

[email protected]

Joyce

Deb

We built square foot gardening boxes last summer - one about 4 off the
ground, one a little shorter (just for esthetic reasons). It was fun
just to build the boxes to start with. We had a bit of a disappointing
harvest but that was mostly due to the really weird weather we had -
long cold wet spring (we didn't get a clear warm weekend until well
into June - DS' birthday is in early June and it poured buckets on his
birthday and didn't get above maybe mid 50s the whole day). We did get
lots of little carrots so we put them into a nice soup. The tomatoes
were just starting to be ready when -slap- chill autumn nights started
and an early frost and they were done for. We're hoping for better
this year.

--Deb

Kelly

Hi Sara,

Did you try the link that Joyce suggested? That should get you there.
If not, please feel free to email me off list, and I'll put you in
touch with the owner/moderator.

This NJ-Unschooling group meets weekly at a centraly located park
during the spring/summer/fall. There are also many other activities and
gatherings we plan pretty regularly. The other two groups I mentioned
in a previous response (Gecho and TLC) are also very active. You'll
have a large selection of events/activities to choose from between
these three groups!

[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]

Good luck! Please don't hesitate to contact me off list if you have any
difficulty connecting to any of these groups.

Kelly

--- In [email protected], "Sara" <nurturinghome@...>
wrote:
>
> by the way, I can't open the link to that group
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NJ-Unschooling/ as it says its available
> only to the members. how can I contact that group to join?
>

zanyzingzap

Were you signed into to yahoo or did you try clicking from the link in
email mode? I get the digest by email and clicked on the link to see
what happened, since I was not signed in to yahoo I got the same error
message. When I was already signed in to yahoo though, it takes me
right to the page. Just a thought... Lisa




--- In [email protected], "Sara" <nurturinghome@...>
wrote:
>
> by the way, I can't open the link to that group
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NJ-Unschooling/ as it says its available
> only to the members. how can I contact that group to join?
>

Sheryl Shomler

I have used Square Foot Gardening for years. It works
and you end up with lots of food extra to give away in
just a small place.

Start out small if you need to and then add more. Dont
overwhelm yourself.

Happy gardening!

Sheryl



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