Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re:Newbie/sleep deprivation
Cameron Parham
I have a basic newbie type question: I have a 13 yo who wants to stay up later and later..now it's up to 3:00 am. I also have a 7yo who doesn't sleep much later than 7:00 am, and a very active child whose schedule is right in the middle of these. I am a part-time ER doc ( 6 shifts per month, each 24 hours). I am a single parent (no other income), and I'm nearly 47, so maybe my sleep need is creeping up some. Here is the problem: My 13yo ds goes to bed 4 to 6 hours before my 7yo ds gets up. I have no adult private time to think, read, pay bills, etc. When any of the kids has a chance to be with me (private mom time they call it) they want it and I am glad! But I am starting to wear out. Should I wait this out? Try to tell the 13yo that if he wants to stay up that late he'll have to sometimes understand that I can't sit with him, sometimes I'll have to do something else. He does try to keep me awake but seems to mostly have trouble with not sitting beside me if I am
already awake. The problem isn't that I don't want to be with them...just that I am wearing out. I have been sorely tempted to be sure the 13yo goes to bed at midnight or 1:00 am instead. Also, if he does any video games or TV that late at night, no matter the topic, he can't sleep for hours...he actually isn't happy with that. And during the day we just don't see him until afternoon. I think he is trying to get some psychological space, too...again, how do I meet his needs AND mine? I can't spend my days as a sleepy zombie!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
already awake. The problem isn't that I don't want to be with them...just that I am wearing out. I have been sorely tempted to be sure the 13yo goes to bed at midnight or 1:00 am instead. Also, if he does any video games or TV that late at night, no matter the topic, he can't sleep for hours...he actually isn't happy with that. And during the day we just don't see him until afternoon. I think he is trying to get some psychological space, too...again, how do I meet his needs AND mine? I can't spend my days as a sleepy zombie!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], Cameron Parham
<acsp2205@...> wrote:
him, rather than just telling him what you want to have happen. Can he
hang out with you *while* you are paying bills or reading? Would he be
okay with shifting his sleep schedule - maybe with some help from you?
Maybe he has another idea - sometimes kids will see options we miss
(especially when we're tired).
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
<acsp2205@...> wrote:
>I am starting to wear out. Should I wait this out? Try to tell theI would definately talk with him about this - ask for some input from
>13yo that if he wants to stay up that late he'll have to sometimes
>understand that I can't sit with him, sometimes I'll have to do
>something else.
him, rather than just telling him what you want to have happen. Can he
hang out with you *while* you are paying bills or reading? Would he be
okay with shifting his sleep schedule - maybe with some help from you?
Maybe he has another idea - sometimes kids will see options we miss
(especially when we're tired).
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
Cameron Parham
Ask for his input--yes! See if he has other ideas--yes! It is hard to think when tired and I am still trying to shake my training from my marriage that when I present my needs I will get no help. That's not the kids fault but can reduce my creativity at times.----- Original Message ----
From: plaidpanties666 <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2007 4:09:23 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re:Newbie/sleep deprivation
--- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com, Cameron Parham
<acsp2205@.. .> wrote:
him, rather than just telling him what you want to have happen. Can he
hang out with you *while* you are paying bills or reading? Would he be
okay with shifting his sleep schedule - maybe with some help from you?
Maybe he has another idea - sometimes kids will see options we miss
(especially when we're tired).
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: plaidpanties666 <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2007 4:09:23 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re:Newbie/sleep deprivation
--- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com, Cameron Parham
<acsp2205@.. .> wrote:
>I am starting to wear out. Should I wait this out? Try to tell theI would definately talk with him about this - ask for some input from
>13yo that if he wants to stay up that late he'll have to sometimes
>understand that I can't sit with him, sometimes I'll have to do
>something else.
him, rather than just telling him what you want to have happen. Can he
hang out with you *while* you are paying bills or reading? Would he be
okay with shifting his sleep schedule - maybe with some help from you?
Maybe he has another idea - sometimes kids will see options we miss
(especially when we're tired).
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@...
I have a basic newbie type question:
-=-=-=-
Cameron, you are so funny! That last post was SO on the money!
But I know what a lack of sleep can do to a person---that's why it's
used as torture!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I have a 13 yo who wants to stay up later
and later..now it's up to 3:00 am. I also have a 7yo who doesn't sleep
much
later than 7:00 am, and a very active child whose schedule is right in
the
middle of these. I am a part-time ER doc ( 6 shifts per month, each 24
hours). I
am a single parent (no other income), and I'm nearly 47, so maybe my
sleep need
is creeping up some. Here is the problem: My 13yo ds goes to bed 4 to 6
hours
before my 7yo ds gets up. I have no adult private time to think, read,
pay
bills, etc. When any of the kids has a chance to be with me (private
mom time
they call it) they want it and I am glad! But I am starting to wear
out.
Should I wait this out? Try to tell the 13yo that if he wants to stay
up that
late he'll have to sometimes understand that I can't sit with him,
sometimes
I'll have to do something else. He does try to keep me awake but seems
to mostly
have trouble with not sitting beside me if I am
already awake. The problem isn't that I don't want to be with
them...just that
I am wearing out. I have been sorely tempted to be sure the 13yo goes
to bed at
midnight or 1:00 am instead. Also, if he does any video games or TV
that late
at night, no matter the topic, he can't sleep for hours...he actually
isn't
happy with that. And during the day we just don't see him until
afternoon. I
think he is trying to get some psychological space, too...again, how do
I meet
his needs AND mine? I can't spend my days as a sleepy zombie!
-=-=-=-=-
They should all be told how tired you are! I bet they would be willing
to help work towards a solution. Kids can be very creative! They want a
happy, healthy family too.
Do you have a friend who could take them both one day a week so that
you could catch up on sleep or get things done?
As far as his (13 yo) having a hard time sleeping after playing, I'd
suggest the same things we say to parents of toddlers: he could make
his room "sleep ready"---dim the lights, spray lavendar around, drink a
warm drink, maybe take a warm bath, listen to quiet music or watch a
boring movie (golf or bowling with the sound down does it for me! <g>).
It's hard to shut our brains down with bright lights---and TV, the
computer screen, and video games can make it seem like daytime 24/7.
Good luck. Sleep deprivation SUCKS!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: acsp2205@...
I have a basic newbie type question:
-=-=-=-
Cameron, you are so funny! That last post was SO on the money!
But I know what a lack of sleep can do to a person---that's why it's
used as torture!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I have a 13 yo who wants to stay up later
and later..now it's up to 3:00 am. I also have a 7yo who doesn't sleep
much
later than 7:00 am, and a very active child whose schedule is right in
the
middle of these. I am a part-time ER doc ( 6 shifts per month, each 24
hours). I
am a single parent (no other income), and I'm nearly 47, so maybe my
sleep need
is creeping up some. Here is the problem: My 13yo ds goes to bed 4 to 6
hours
before my 7yo ds gets up. I have no adult private time to think, read,
pay
bills, etc. When any of the kids has a chance to be with me (private
mom time
they call it) they want it and I am glad! But I am starting to wear
out.
Should I wait this out? Try to tell the 13yo that if he wants to stay
up that
late he'll have to sometimes understand that I can't sit with him,
sometimes
I'll have to do something else. He does try to keep me awake but seems
to mostly
have trouble with not sitting beside me if I am
already awake. The problem isn't that I don't want to be with
them...just that
I am wearing out. I have been sorely tempted to be sure the 13yo goes
to bed at
midnight or 1:00 am instead. Also, if he does any video games or TV
that late
at night, no matter the topic, he can't sleep for hours...he actually
isn't
happy with that. And during the day we just don't see him until
afternoon. I
think he is trying to get some psychological space, too...again, how do
I meet
his needs AND mine? I can't spend my days as a sleepy zombie!
-=-=-=-=-
They should all be told how tired you are! I bet they would be willing
to help work towards a solution. Kids can be very creative! They want a
happy, healthy family too.
Do you have a friend who could take them both one day a week so that
you could catch up on sleep or get things done?
As far as his (13 yo) having a hard time sleeping after playing, I'd
suggest the same things we say to parents of toddlers: he could make
his room "sleep ready"---dim the lights, spray lavendar around, drink a
warm drink, maybe take a warm bath, listen to quiet music or watch a
boring movie (golf or bowling with the sound down does it for me! <g>).
It's hard to shut our brains down with bright lights---and TV, the
computer screen, and video games can make it seem like daytime 24/7.
Good luck. Sleep deprivation SUCKS!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.