kids living without censoring and how that affects friends/neighbors
Amy Mason
We're relatively new with unschooling (last fall) and have turned into
radicals (how could we not have before because it is /just so right/,
shame on me...(thank you Rue for your book and Danielle and Sandra and
all of the other seasoned folk out there) but I still am working on
releasing myself from a lot of issues.
One issue is in regards to not censoring what children want to watch on
tv...not so much as how it affects my kids but how it affects those
around them. (I know...I shouldn't worry about what other people
think...that's a lot of my problem)
example: my two oldest (ds8 and dd6) wanted to watch Austen Powers
(first one) the other night. My husband and I watched with
them...enjoying and laughing mostly but I was cringing during several
parts only because I knew the next day my son would be telling his
friend (homeschooled 8 year old previously schooled) what he saw (fem
bots, penis enlarger, etc...) Will the parents of their friends want to
kill me for my kids exposing their kids to what those parents might
perceive as bad or dirty? I shouldn't tell my kids not to talk to their
friends about what we have watched, or should I? It's no different from
them being in school and hearing older kids talking about stuff, but
isn't that one of the reasons many have for keeping their kids at
home...to try and preserve their innocence; keep them naive for as long
as possible? (for the parent's benefit, I know ;-) ).
I'm not sure if I worded this perfectly to get my question across but if
you have any advice I would gladly read it.
Thanks,
Amy in WV
radicals (how could we not have before because it is /just so right/,
shame on me...(thank you Rue for your book and Danielle and Sandra and
all of the other seasoned folk out there) but I still am working on
releasing myself from a lot of issues.
One issue is in regards to not censoring what children want to watch on
tv...not so much as how it affects my kids but how it affects those
around them. (I know...I shouldn't worry about what other people
think...that's a lot of my problem)
example: my two oldest (ds8 and dd6) wanted to watch Austen Powers
(first one) the other night. My husband and I watched with
them...enjoying and laughing mostly but I was cringing during several
parts only because I knew the next day my son would be telling his
friend (homeschooled 8 year old previously schooled) what he saw (fem
bots, penis enlarger, etc...) Will the parents of their friends want to
kill me for my kids exposing their kids to what those parents might
perceive as bad or dirty? I shouldn't tell my kids not to talk to their
friends about what we have watched, or should I? It's no different from
them being in school and hearing older kids talking about stuff, but
isn't that one of the reasons many have for keeping their kids at
home...to try and preserve their innocence; keep them naive for as long
as possible? (for the parent's benefit, I know ;-) ).
I'm not sure if I worded this perfectly to get my question across but if
you have any advice I would gladly read it.
Thanks,
Amy in WV
Lisa Heyman
>From: Amy Mason <doodlemakers@...>Your right. It's your issue...get over it <g>.
>One issue is in regards to not censoring what children want to watch on
>tv...not so much as how it affects my kids but how it affects those
>around them. (I know...I shouldn't worry about what other people
>think...that's a lot of my problem)
My kids have learned from their own experiences and other peoples comments
that everything they are comfortable with others may not be. We've
discussed this. They have learned through social interaction that sometimes
other people will have judgements they don't agree with...tv shows, music,
food, heck even cheerleading....through their experiences they've learned to
respect other peoples boundarys - recognizing that in some households people
have to ask parents for permission for certain things...the know which
parents to ask if its ok for their kids to listen or watch something or eat
something that my kids are going to do...they know which homes have more
controls over what areas. Your kids will learn these 'social graces.'
Discussing it when they are confused and baffled by differences, brain
storming how to handle situations, recognizing their are different times for
different responses is part of learning social respectful conventions. And
don't be afraid to share 'your issues' with them...its fun to laugh at
yourself with your kids.
Lisa Heyman
_________________________________________________________________
Exercise your brain! Try Flexicon.
http://games.msn.com/en/flexicon/default.htm?icid=flexicon_hmemailtaglinemarch07
Schuyler
Simon really enjoys the word f*ck. It doesn't bother me, but I know it
bothers other people and he knows it bothers other people. So he doesn't say
it around his grandparents or around new people or around some of his
friends parents. And that is because we've talked about it. I've talked
about what words and ideas some people might find offensive. And why. It is
part of being the parent, helping your child to know what the social
niceties are and what the potential consequences might be, ie, upsetting
grandma, not being invited back to a friend's, having others think badly of
you. I can't keep him from swearing or talking about Family Guy in front of
others, nor would I want to act as his censor, but I can help him to know
who is less likely to appreciate the information. That said, penis enlarges
and fembots (with their machine gun jubblies) are pretty interesting topics
of conversation. I googled fembots just now and wikipedia has an entry on
Gynoid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynoid), the female form of android,
which includes fembots. I had forgotten the fembots in the Bionic Women,
apparently the first, with the robotic mechanism under their faces.
I don't know if you should tell your children not to talk about Austen
Powers, but you could probably talk to them about what others might feel
uncomfortable with and why.
As a side query, why are you sure your son would be talking about the penis
enlarger or the fembots? A lot of those things aren't the things that Simon
or Linnaea are paying attention to when they watch. Yesterday they were
watching Goldmember and were talking intently about how long they've peed
and how asparagus can make your pee smell differently. They weren't talking
about the name Dixie Normous or any of the other sex jokes in Austen Powers.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
bothers other people and he knows it bothers other people. So he doesn't say
it around his grandparents or around new people or around some of his
friends parents. And that is because we've talked about it. I've talked
about what words and ideas some people might find offensive. And why. It is
part of being the parent, helping your child to know what the social
niceties are and what the potential consequences might be, ie, upsetting
grandma, not being invited back to a friend's, having others think badly of
you. I can't keep him from swearing or talking about Family Guy in front of
others, nor would I want to act as his censor, but I can help him to know
who is less likely to appreciate the information. That said, penis enlarges
and fembots (with their machine gun jubblies) are pretty interesting topics
of conversation. I googled fembots just now and wikipedia has an entry on
Gynoid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynoid), the female form of android,
which includes fembots. I had forgotten the fembots in the Bionic Women,
apparently the first, with the robotic mechanism under their faces.
I don't know if you should tell your children not to talk about Austen
Powers, but you could probably talk to them about what others might feel
uncomfortable with and why.
As a side query, why are you sure your son would be talking about the penis
enlarger or the fembots? A lot of those things aren't the things that Simon
or Linnaea are paying attention to when they watch. Yesterday they were
watching Goldmember and were talking intently about how long they've peed
and how asparagus can make your pee smell differently. They weren't talking
about the name Dixie Normous or any of the other sex jokes in Austen Powers.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Amy Mason" <doodlemakers@...>
To: <[email protected]>; <[email protected]>;
<[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, March 16, 2007 3:36 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] kids living without censoring and how that
affects friends/neighbors
> We're relatively new with unschooling (last fall) and have turned into
> radicals (how could we not have before because it is /just so right/,
> shame on me...(thank you Rue for your book and Danielle and Sandra and
> all of the other seasoned folk out there) but I still am working on
> releasing myself from a lot of issues.
>
> One issue is in regards to not censoring what children want to watch on
> tv...not so much as how it affects my kids but how it affects those
> around them. (I know...I shouldn't worry about what other people
> think...that's a lot of my problem)
>
> example: my two oldest (ds8 and dd6) wanted to watch Austen Powers
> (first one) the other night. My husband and I watched with
> them...enjoying and laughing mostly but I was cringing during several
> parts only because I knew the next day my son would be telling his
> friend (homeschooled 8 year old previously schooled) what he saw (fem
> bots, penis enlarger, etc...) Will the parents of their friends want to
> kill me for my kids exposing their kids to what those parents might
> perceive as bad or dirty? I shouldn't tell my kids not to talk to their
> friends about what we have watched, or should I? It's no different from
> them being in school and hearing older kids talking about stuff, but
> isn't that one of the reasons many have for keeping their kids at
> home...to try and preserve their innocence; keep them naive for as long
> as possible? (for the parent's benefit, I know ;-) ).
>
> I'm not sure if I worded this perfectly to get my question across but if
> you have any advice I would gladly read it.
> Thanks,
> Amy in WV
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
[email protected]
Amy, come on over to my house and your kids can watch Austin Powers (and even South Park <gasp!>) with my kids!
I probably at one time, worried about that kind of stuff. Now, what tends to run through my head is, "You restrict your kids from XYZ? Hmmm... I may not be able to hang with you"
It is really important to me that parents are open and willing to being well, open and willing. They don't have to be as far down the unschooling path as me, but if they are concerned about what I do rather than thinking that some of my parenting ideas are valid, then I just don't hang out with them.
I keep writing and erasing because I don't really know what to say to help with neighborly converstations or people questioning me. I've gotten to this place in which other people's opinions (non-unschooling/non-mindful parenting types) really don't make much of a difference to me.
Elissa Jill
OTN:
Stitch of the Day Swatch
silk/wool blend tie front mini sweater
http://mystikmusings.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I probably at one time, worried about that kind of stuff. Now, what tends to run through my head is, "You restrict your kids from XYZ? Hmmm... I may not be able to hang with you"
It is really important to me that parents are open and willing to being well, open and willing. They don't have to be as far down the unschooling path as me, but if they are concerned about what I do rather than thinking that some of my parenting ideas are valid, then I just don't hang out with them.
I keep writing and erasing because I don't really know what to say to help with neighborly converstations or people questioning me. I've gotten to this place in which other people's opinions (non-unschooling/non-mindful parenting types) really don't make much of a difference to me.
Elissa Jill
OTN:
Stitch of the Day Swatch
silk/wool blend tie front mini sweater
http://mystikmusings.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]