young 3rd grader struggling with reading and...
Jackie Lazzaro
Blankdrawing her own conclusions. I've been trying to convince my dh that
I should take my 8yo out of school. We took my 10yo out in Jan and he
was/is completely comfortable w/that. My 10yo is advanced and self
motivated. My 8yo is not. dh's concern is that my 8yo will not do anything
at all if she's home. He's afraid she won't learn anything. He knows I'm
not using a curriculum w/my 10yo and he's ok w/that. Yesterday the teacher
suggested we think about holding our 8yo back, to do 3rd grade again. She
(the teacher) is worried because in 4th grade they do a lot of reading and
reports. She doesn't think my 8yo can do it. My 8yo can memorize facts and
regurgitate them on tests, but she has difficulty creating her own ideas.
Can anyone give me suggestions that will help dh see that being home will
actually be better for her? I've talked to him about the fact that there
will be a ton less stress (no more school all day and homework all night,
and no more struggling to get homework done). I've talked to him about the
fact that if she's home, she'll be able to read what she wants when she
wants, and will learn from reading.
I want to help dh see that I can help her overcome the above issues by
working on her self esteem and giving her the time to find her way, instead
of choking her by making her spend every hour of the day doing things she
doesn't like doing. The good news is I have about 6mos to soften him up.
I'm hoping w/your help it will be easier. :-)
TIA.
Jackie
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Jackie Lazzaro
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I should take my 8yo out of school. We took my 10yo out in Jan and he
was/is completely comfortable w/that. My 10yo is advanced and self
motivated. My 8yo is not. dh's concern is that my 8yo will not do anything
at all if she's home. He's afraid she won't learn anything. He knows I'm
not using a curriculum w/my 10yo and he's ok w/that. Yesterday the teacher
suggested we think about holding our 8yo back, to do 3rd grade again. She
(the teacher) is worried because in 4th grade they do a lot of reading and
reports. She doesn't think my 8yo can do it. My 8yo can memorize facts and
regurgitate them on tests, but she has difficulty creating her own ideas.
Can anyone give me suggestions that will help dh see that being home will
actually be better for her? I've talked to him about the fact that there
will be a ton less stress (no more school all day and homework all night,
and no more struggling to get homework done). I've talked to him about the
fact that if she's home, she'll be able to read what she wants when she
wants, and will learn from reading.
I want to help dh see that I can help her overcome the above issues by
working on her self esteem and giving her the time to find her way, instead
of choking her by making her spend every hour of the day doing things she
doesn't like doing. The good news is I have about 6mos to soften him up.
I'm hoping w/your help it will be easier. :-)
TIA.
Jackie
EVERY WOMAN DESERVES A SLUMBER PARTY! Have fun and
shop privately when you host your own Slumber Party ~ SAVE 10% on your first
order (phone or email only) ~ BECOME A ROMANCE CONSULTANT TODAY and start
earning great money doing something you love!
Jackie Lazzaro
Romance Consultant
PartiesByJackie@...
www.SlumberPartiesByJackie.com mobile:
856-261-0749
Add me to your address book... Want to always have my latest
info?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Jackie wrote
<<Can anyone give me suggestions that will help dh see that being home will
actually be better for her? I've talked to him about the fact that there
will be a ton less stress (no more school all day and homework all night,
and no more struggling to get homework done). I've talked to him about the
fact that if she's home, she'll be able to read what she wants when she
wants, and will learn from reading.>>
Jackie,
My son was 8 when he left school. IEP's, notes home and parent teacher
nights that brought tears to my eyes. I knew my son wasn't the person they spoke
of.
He tested at a low level and the school tried to convince us that without
major intervention he would not read.
We left school and within a couple weeks we began our
deschooling-unschooling path. The following September we went to Sylvan Learning Centers. Despite
my attempts to be there for my son he felt stupid (his words). I'm not a fan
of testing but this one gave us a clue into what we should have clearly seen.
My son who the school said was not paying attention, tested poorly and would
never learn was suffering from shyness is all. A boy so beat down by their
ongoing embarrassments has given up.
Had I not experienced this very same thing in school he might still be
there. He would be a very different boy now had I not walked out that winter
Friday before school vacation.
My situation may differ greatly but the end goal is the same. Keeping them
back is not the solution. If anything I would bring the child home if only to
pass her on to the next grade.
I hear you say your 10yr old is motivated. ALL children are motivated it's
just that not all learn the same way.
Did your DH like school? What does he do for work? Did he learn the trade on
his own? Does he like his job?
Laura
<BR><BR><BR>**************************************<BR> AOL now offers free
email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at
http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<<Can anyone give me suggestions that will help dh see that being home will
actually be better for her? I've talked to him about the fact that there
will be a ton less stress (no more school all day and homework all night,
and no more struggling to get homework done). I've talked to him about the
fact that if she's home, she'll be able to read what she wants when she
wants, and will learn from reading.>>
Jackie,
My son was 8 when he left school. IEP's, notes home and parent teacher
nights that brought tears to my eyes. I knew my son wasn't the person they spoke
of.
He tested at a low level and the school tried to convince us that without
major intervention he would not read.
We left school and within a couple weeks we began our
deschooling-unschooling path. The following September we went to Sylvan Learning Centers. Despite
my attempts to be there for my son he felt stupid (his words). I'm not a fan
of testing but this one gave us a clue into what we should have clearly seen.
My son who the school said was not paying attention, tested poorly and would
never learn was suffering from shyness is all. A boy so beat down by their
ongoing embarrassments has given up.
Had I not experienced this very same thing in school he might still be
there. He would be a very different boy now had I not walked out that winter
Friday before school vacation.
My situation may differ greatly but the end goal is the same. Keeping them
back is not the solution. If anything I would bring the child home if only to
pass her on to the next grade.
I hear you say your 10yr old is motivated. ALL children are motivated it's
just that not all learn the same way.
Did your DH like school? What does he do for work? Did he learn the trade on
his own? Does he like his job?
Laura
<BR><BR><BR>**************************************<BR> AOL now offers free
email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at
http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lisa Heyman
>From: "Jackie Lazzaro" <jlazztoo@...>While you may be convinced that staying home is better for her...your dh
> dh's concern is that my 8yo will not do anything
>at all if she's home. He's afraid she won't learn anything. >Can anyone
>give me suggestions that will help dh see that being home will
>actually be better for her?
doesn't know what the future will be or look like and what she will or won't
do. When meeting resistance to the unknown future i would suggest not
dismissing his concerns but acknowledge them and accept them = recognizing
they come from his love for your dd and his concern of doing the best thing
for her. Instead of convincing him not to be afraid, that he is wrong about
his feelings, what about working toward getting him on board with the idea
of 'trying' time at home. Reassuring him that you too are concerned about
making choices that are in your childs best interest and if after, say one
year, it didn't look like having your dd out of school was 'working' in her
best interest then you can make different choices. Don't discount his
concerns but work towards solutions that you are all comfortable with.
Good luck.
Lisa Heyman
_________________________________________________________________
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Jackie Lazzaro
Thank you Lisa and Laura for your responses. I've had some follow up
conversations w/dd's teacher, as well as with dh. Turns out dh is not as
against hs'g my younger dd as I thought he was. He's still not confident,
but I think he will come around between now and Sept. As a way to help him,
I suggested that the girls and I come up w/a proposal to give to dh. The
girls are looking forward to putting something together. It will be fun,
and it will help us all learn more about how we want to learn. lol!
:-)
Jackie
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Lisa Heyman
Sent: Thursday, March 15, 2007 11:11 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] young 3rd grader struggling with reading
and...
doesn't know what the future will be or look like and what she will or
won't
do. When meeting resistance to the unknown future i would suggest not
dismissing his concerns but acknowledge them and accept them = recognizing
they come from his love for your dd and his concern of doing the best
thing
for her. Instead of convincing him not to be afraid, that he is wrong
about
his feelings, what about working toward getting him on board with the idea
of 'trying' time at home. Reassuring him that you too are concerned about
making choices that are in your childs best interest and if after, say one
year, it didn't look like having your dd out of school was 'working' in
her
best interest then you can make different choices. Don't discount his
concerns but work towards solutions that you are all comfortable with.
Good luck.
Lisa Heyman
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
conversations w/dd's teacher, as well as with dh. Turns out dh is not as
against hs'g my younger dd as I thought he was. He's still not confident,
but I think he will come around between now and Sept. As a way to help him,
I suggested that the girls and I come up w/a proposal to give to dh. The
girls are looking forward to putting something together. It will be fun,
and it will help us all learn more about how we want to learn. lol!
:-)
Jackie
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Lisa Heyman
Sent: Thursday, March 15, 2007 11:11 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] young 3rd grader struggling with reading
and...
>From: "Jackie Lazzaro" <jlazztoo@...>While you may be convinced that staying home is better for her...your dh
> dh's concern is that my 8yo will not do anything
>at all if she's home. He's afraid she won't learn anything. >Can anyone
>give me suggestions that will help dh see that being home will
>actually be better for her?
doesn't know what the future will be or look like and what she will or
won't
do. When meeting resistance to the unknown future i would suggest not
dismissing his concerns but acknowledge them and accept them = recognizing
they come from his love for your dd and his concern of doing the best
thing
for her. Instead of convincing him not to be afraid, that he is wrong
about
his feelings, what about working toward getting him on board with the idea
of 'trying' time at home. Reassuring him that you too are concerned about
making choices that are in your childs best interest and if after, say one
year, it didn't look like having your dd out of school was 'working' in
her
best interest then you can make different choices. Don't discount his
concerns but work towards solutions that you are all comfortable with.
Good luck.
Lisa Heyman
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]