Re: [unschoolingbasics] fearful spouse/passing judgement
Cameron Parham
"But if he's willing to learn more (to have a happy household) why would he knee-jerk veto?
This family has been through some tough financial and extended-familial challenges. The same things which have contributed to the overload of my sitter/friend as she 'schools at home' have worn her spouse out so that he's nearly at a place where he is emotionally and physically exhausted. People are not as flexible and creative in that case. But thanks for the online resources. I do have a subscription to Connections...maybe I could give them a subscription.
----- Original Message ----
From: "kbcdlovejo@..." <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, March 12, 2007 9:01:46 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] fearful spouse
-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@yahoo. com\
But if we want to reassure a skittish
spouse who is already stressed, what is the best approach? Keeping in
mind that
forcing him won't work any better than forcing kids, where to begin, so
he
doesn't try to veto it in a kneejerk way?
-=-=-=-
Try Connections e-zine. Several article by dads in particular.
There's also the dads' egroups:
SSUDS@yahoogroups. com
UnschoolingDads@ yahoogroups. com
But if he's willing to learn more (to have a happy household), why
would he knee-jerk veto?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandL earnConference. org
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
This family has been through some tough financial and extended-familial challenges. The same things which have contributed to the overload of my sitter/friend as she 'schools at home' have worn her spouse out so that he's nearly at a place where he is emotionally and physically exhausted. People are not as flexible and creative in that case. But thanks for the online resources. I do have a subscription to Connections...maybe I could give them a subscription.
----- Original Message ----
From: "kbcdlovejo@..." <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, March 12, 2007 9:01:46 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] fearful spouse
-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@yahoo. com\
But if we want to reassure a skittish
spouse who is already stressed, what is the best approach? Keeping in
mind that
forcing him won't work any better than forcing kids, where to begin, so
he
doesn't try to veto it in a kneejerk way?
-=-=-=-
Try Connections e-zine. Several article by dads in particular.
There's also the dads' egroups:
SSUDS@yahoogroups. com
UnschoolingDads@ yahoogroups. com
But if he's willing to learn more (to have a happy household), why
would he knee-jerk veto?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandL earnConference. org
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@...
"But if he's willing to learn more (to have a happy household) why
would he
knee-jerk veto?
This family has been through some tough financial and
extended-familial
challenges. The same things which have contributed to the overload of
my
sitter/friend as she 'schools at home' have worn her spouse out so
that he's
nearly at a place where he is emotionally and physically exhausted.
People are
not as flexible and creative in that case. But thanks for the online
resources.
I do have a subscription to Connections...maybe I could give them a
subscription.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Maybe just the suggestion that it would be like a permanent vacation?
<beg>
Around here we say, "Every day is Saturday. Every month is July." One
big vacation!
When I first decided to take Cameron out of school, I went to a
neighborhood homeschool pool day. The school-at-home moms rolled their
eyes at each other knowingly at my naiveté when I said that we were
really looking forward to homeschooling. *THEY* were all burned out by
Thanksgiving. It was a martyr syndrome-y thing, I guess. It was as if
they expected it and it was a *good* thing---like they were doing it
right if the kids hated everything and they were exhausted. It was
yucky.
But unschooling hasn't been that way at all. Maybe he would apreciate
such a change?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
=0
From: acsp2205@...
"But if he's willing to learn more (to have a happy household) why
would he
knee-jerk veto?
This family has been through some tough financial and
extended-familial
challenges. The same things which have contributed to the overload of
my
sitter/friend as she 'schools at home' have worn her spouse out so
that he's
nearly at a place where he is emotionally and physically exhausted.
People are
not as flexible and creative in that case. But thanks for the online
resources.
I do have a subscription to Connections...maybe I could give them a
subscription.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Maybe just the suggestion that it would be like a permanent vacation?
<beg>
Around here we say, "Every day is Saturday. Every month is July." One
big vacation!
When I first decided to take Cameron out of school, I went to a
neighborhood homeschool pool day. The school-at-home moms rolled their
eyes at each other knowingly at my naiveté when I said that we were
really looking forward to homeschooling. *THEY* were all burned out by
Thanksgiving. It was a martyr syndrome-y thing, I guess. It was as if
they expected it and it was a *good* thing---like they were doing it
right if the kids hated everything and they were exhausted. It was
yucky.
But unschooling hasn't been that way at all. Maybe he would apreciate
such a change?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
=0
Cameron Parham
My friend/sitter is nothing like those burned out moms. No martyr thing. She still loves to be with her kids and remains creative and open. I think that our society has a pervasive belief that a lot of learning will be aversive for kids, and it's just the price that must be paid, like labor pains are part of the price paid for a baby. When I have tried to discuss my kids misery as they tried traditional learning, I hit the wall called, "Well sure they feel that way but it's best for them, and they don't understand that because they are kids." So there is a fear on the part of many that if learning doesn't involve struggle it is not sufficient. That is a hard fear to address. There is a great essay about that fear in ths book Christian Unschooling, in which that fear is given a body, a will, even its breath is described, and how itr attacks at 4:00 am....but my earnest sitter/friend and her husband would do anything for their kids once they were sure it was best.
----- Original Message ----
From: "kbcdlovejo@..." <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, March 12, 2007 6:09:15 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] fearful spouse/passing judgement
-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@yahoo. com
"But if he's willing to learn more (to have a happy household) why
would he
knee-jerk veto?
This family has been through some tough financial and
extended-familial
challenges. The same things which have contributed to the overload of
my
sitter/friend as she 'schools at home' have worn her spouse out so
that he's
nearly at a place where he is emotionally and physically exhausted.
People are
not as flexible and creative in that case. But thanks for the online
resources.
I do have a subscription to Connections. ..maybe I could give them a
subscription.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Maybe just the suggestion that it would be like a permanent vacation?
<beg>
Around here we say, "Every day is Saturday. Every month is July." One
big vacation!
When I first decided to take Cameron out of school, I went to a
neighborhood homeschool pool day. The school-at-home moms rolled their
eyes at each other knowingly at my naiveté when I said that we were
really looking forward to homeschooling. *THEY* were all burned out by
Thanksgiving. It was a martyr syndrome-y thing, I guess. It was as if
they expected it and it was a *good* thing---like they were doing it
right if the kids hated everything and they were exhausted. It was
yucky.
But unschooling hasn't been that way at all. Maybe he would apreciate
such a change?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandL earnConference. org
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
=0
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
----- Original Message ----
From: "kbcdlovejo@..." <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, March 12, 2007 6:09:15 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] fearful spouse/passing judgement
-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@yahoo. com
"But if he's willing to learn more (to have a happy household) why
would he
knee-jerk veto?
This family has been through some tough financial and
extended-familial
challenges. The same things which have contributed to the overload of
my
sitter/friend as she 'schools at home' have worn her spouse out so
that he's
nearly at a place where he is emotionally and physically exhausted.
People are
not as flexible and creative in that case. But thanks for the online
resources.
I do have a subscription to Connections. ..maybe I could give them a
subscription.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Maybe just the suggestion that it would be like a permanent vacation?
<beg>
Around here we say, "Every day is Saturday. Every month is July." One
big vacation!
When I first decided to take Cameron out of school, I went to a
neighborhood homeschool pool day. The school-at-home moms rolled their
eyes at each other knowingly at my naiveté when I said that we were
really looking forward to homeschooling. *THEY* were all burned out by
Thanksgiving. It was a martyr syndrome-y thing, I guess. It was as if
they expected it and it was a *good* thing---like they were doing it
right if the kids hated everything and they were exhausted. It was
yucky.
But unschooling hasn't been that way at all. Maybe he would apreciate
such a change?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandL earnConference. org
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
=0
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: acsp2205@...
My friend/sitter is nothing like those burned out moms. No martyr
thing. She
still loves to be with her kids and remains creative and open.
-=-=-=-
Good! 'Cause that was really ugly.
We didn't hang around there! <g>
-=-=-=-=-
So there is a fear on the part of many that if learning doesn't
involve struggle it
is not sufficient. That is a hard fear to address.
-=-=-
It really isn't.
Ask anyone who has learned *anything* how painful is was. Learning is
not about pain and struggle. Sometimes we DO get hurt, and sometimes we
DO struggle to learn something. But that doesn't mean that learning is
or should be painful and hard.
The things I love most seemed really easy to get! Other things---like
this gardening hell I'm living though! <bwg>---are difficult, but I'm
working at it and getting better every year.
It may be in society's mindset that it's so; but if you were to ask
*individuals, I think the response would be overwhelmingly that
learning (what you want to learn) is relatively pain-free. Natural, in
fact!
-=-==--=-=
There is a great essay about
that fear in ths book Christian Unschooling, in which that fear is
given a body,
a will, even its breath is described, and how itr attacks at 4:00 am....
-=-=--=-=-=
Yuck.
-=-=-=-=-=-
but my earnest sitter/friend and her husband would do anything for
their kids once they
were sure it was best.
-=-=-=--=
But what I don't understand is *knowing* that what they're doing sucks
and is sucking the life out of all of them, and yet continuing to do
just that.
STOP! Do *something* else! ANYthing else!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: acsp2205@...
My friend/sitter is nothing like those burned out moms. No martyr
thing. She
still loves to be with her kids and remains creative and open.
-=-=-=-
Good! 'Cause that was really ugly.
We didn't hang around there! <g>
-=-=-=-=-
So there is a fear on the part of many that if learning doesn't
involve struggle it
is not sufficient. That is a hard fear to address.
-=-=-
It really isn't.
Ask anyone who has learned *anything* how painful is was. Learning is
not about pain and struggle. Sometimes we DO get hurt, and sometimes we
DO struggle to learn something. But that doesn't mean that learning is
or should be painful and hard.
The things I love most seemed really easy to get! Other things---like
this gardening hell I'm living though! <bwg>---are difficult, but I'm
working at it and getting better every year.
It may be in society's mindset that it's so; but if you were to ask
*individuals, I think the response would be overwhelmingly that
learning (what you want to learn) is relatively pain-free. Natural, in
fact!
-=-==--=-=
There is a great essay about
that fear in ths book Christian Unschooling, in which that fear is
given a body,
a will, even its breath is described, and how itr attacks at 4:00 am....
-=-=--=-=-=
Yuck.
-=-=-=-=-=-
but my earnest sitter/friend and her husband would do anything for
their kids once they
were sure it was best.
-=-=-=--=
But what I don't understand is *knowing* that what they're doing sucks
and is sucking the life out of all of them, and yet continuing to do
just that.
STOP! Do *something* else! ANYthing else!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.