refusal
Katharine Wise
I'm vacillating between fuming mad and bursting into tears and trying to be calm.
We had plans to go to a friends' house for a playdate. They have children all my kids' ages, but our two oldest are particularly good friends and we don't get to get together terribly often (1-2 times per month). My middle ds (7yo) has just announced that he's not going and locked himself in my bedroom. Won't let me in to talk. (I can't unlock the door from the outside.)
In many ways he's doing much better than he was a couple months ago, but this is a new one. My eldest is understandably upset and feeling manipulated and mistreated. We don't have neighbors to play with, so we're dependent on playdates and other activities to see friends at all.
I've been working so hard trying to help him feel that we're on his side, trying to find ways to do the things he wants, but he doesn't seem to believe it.
Katharine
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We had plans to go to a friends' house for a playdate. They have children all my kids' ages, but our two oldest are particularly good friends and we don't get to get together terribly often (1-2 times per month). My middle ds (7yo) has just announced that he's not going and locked himself in my bedroom. Won't let me in to talk. (I can't unlock the door from the outside.)
In many ways he's doing much better than he was a couple months ago, but this is a new one. My eldest is understandably upset and feeling manipulated and mistreated. We don't have neighbors to play with, so we're dependent on playdates and other activities to see friends at all.
I've been working so hard trying to help him feel that we're on his side, trying to find ways to do the things he wants, but he doesn't seem to believe it.
Katharine
____________________________________________________________________________________
Finding fabulous fares is fun.
Let Yahoo! FareChase search your favorite travel sites to find flight and hotel bargains.
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Lisa Heyman
>I'm vacillating between fuming mad and bursting into tears and trying to be========
>calm.
{{{breathe. deep long breaths}}}
It can be very frustrating to feel powerless - you have no control other
people (including your kids). Can you feel the relief of this truth?
My 8yo will say to me when i am frustrated - mommy take a deep breath and
give me 3 kisses. This brings me right back to what's important.
=========
<<We had plans to go to a friends' house for a playdate. They have children
all my kids' ages, but our two oldest are particularly good friends and we
don't get to get together terribly often (1-2 times per month). My middle ds
(7yo) has just announced that he's not going and locked himself in my
bedroom. Won't let me in to talk. (I can't unlock the door from the
outside.)>>
============
When my younger dd shuts herself into a room i sit outside the door until
she comes our or is willing to let me in. While she initially runs away,
i've learned from her that she wants to know that i am still very much
present and available in her upset. All it takes is time. (is there any
harm in arriving later at your friends house for this play date?)
For future planning - Was this date planned with everyone in agreement to
start with? Had he been consulted on the plans in advance? Was he involved
in something more important to him when it was time to leave? Do you have
any idea why he is resistant to going?
============
<<In many ways he's doing much better than he was a couple months ago, but
this is a new one. >>
============
are you referring to your 7yo or eldest?
============
<<My eldest is understandably upset and feeling manipulated and mistreated.
We don't have neighbors to play with, so we're dependent on playdates and
other activities to see friends at all. >>
=============
For future planning: Can you make a date that doesn't include the younger
sib? Can the child of the other family come to your house?
=============
<<I've been working so hard trying to help him feel that we're on his side,
trying to find ways to do the things he wants, but he doesn't seem to
believe it.>>
=============
Again, don't know exactly which ds you are referring to - regardless, when
my kids are frustrated because they want to go in different directions - the
language i use in this situation is "you are both very important - both of
you - i know we can come up with a solution that will work for everyone."
Maintaining my equilibrium is really important to their trusting the
outcome. And then we brainstorm together. The day may turn out completely
different than originally planned but if you are relaxed, open and flexible
it may help your children to move through their feelings of anger and
frustration. Again, it means taking the time to sort out what everyone
needs - next time you can plan in advance the day differently.
Lisa Heyman
_________________________________________________________________
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Rachel Salavon
My 7 yo ds doesn't like to go anywhere either. He goes grudgingly
when he doesn't have a choice. I've listened to a lot of yelling
from him about it. But he has never locked himself in a room and
refused to go. That's a hard one. I don't really have much to say
except that my son is very much like that. He also has
extraordinarily sensitive feet. We have lots of issues about shoes
fitting right and sock seams.
I hear your frustration. Good luck
Rachel
--- In [email protected], Katharine Wise
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
friends and we don't get to get together terribly often (1-2 times
per month). My middle ds (7yo) has just announced that he's not
going and locked himself in my bedroom. Won't let me in to talk.
(I can't unlock the door from the outside.)
feeling manipulated and mistreated. We don't have neighbors to play
with, so we're dependent on playdates and other activities to see
friends at all.
doesn't seem to believe it.
_______________
when he doesn't have a choice. I've listened to a lot of yelling
from him about it. But he has never locked himself in a room and
refused to go. That's a hard one. I don't really have much to say
except that my son is very much like that. He also has
extraordinarily sensitive feet. We have lots of issues about shoes
fitting right and sock seams.
I hear your frustration. Good luck
Rachel
--- In [email protected], Katharine Wise
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
>trying to be calm.
> I'm vacillating between fuming mad and bursting into tears and
>children all my kids' ages, but our two oldest are particularly good
> We had plans to go to a friends' house for a playdate. They have
friends and we don't get to get together terribly often (1-2 times
per month). My middle ds (7yo) has just announced that he's not
going and locked himself in my bedroom. Won't let me in to talk.
(I can't unlock the door from the outside.)
>ago, but this is a new one. My eldest is understandably upset and
> In many ways he's doing much better than he was a couple months
feeling manipulated and mistreated. We don't have neighbors to play
with, so we're dependent on playdates and other activities to see
friends at all.
>his side, trying to find ways to do the things he wants, but he
> I've been working so hard trying to help him feel that we're on
doesn't seem to believe it.
>_____________________________________________________________________
> Katharine
>
>
>
>
>
>
_______________
> Finding fabulous fares is fun.flight and hotel bargains.
> Let Yahoo! FareChase search your favorite travel sites to find
> http://farechase.yahoo.com/promo-generic-14795097
>
cookskidsbooks
Boy, Rachel, do I remember those days. My eldest ds, now nearly 11,
was that way from about 3 yrs to 9 yrs. He hated lotion (it made him
itchy), so we switched to Gold Bond powder and after awhile, he
stopped needing it. I can't remember what socks we bought at that
age, but the seams were good. He used to say "I'm having a sock
problem". Also had a problem with collars...
And I thought those years were tough...LOL
My 7 yo ds ... He also has extraordinarily sensitive feet. We have
lots of issues about shoes fitting right and sock seams.
was that way from about 3 yrs to 9 yrs. He hated lotion (it made him
itchy), so we switched to Gold Bond powder and after awhile, he
stopped needing it. I can't remember what socks we bought at that
age, but the seams were good. He used to say "I'm having a sock
problem". Also had a problem with collars...
And I thought those years were tough...LOL
My 7 yo ds ... He also has extraordinarily sensitive feet. We have
lots of issues about shoes fitting right and sock seams.
>
> I hear your frustration. Good luck
> Rachel
Katharine Wise
Thanks, Lisa and Rachel,
Glad to know I'm not alone in having a child (or two -- my 4yo is leaning this way too) who doesn't want to go anywhere (or at least, very, very often doesn't:-).
In this case, going later really wasn't an option, although certainly other times it might be. We did end up having a pleasant afternoon anyway. I held my eldest while he (and I as well, but quietly) cried. Told 7yo that we were sad -- 10yo b/c of not going and me b/c of not going but also b/c I could tell that he was feeling angry about going and I didn't really know why (or something like that). Then 10yo and I read together for awhile, by which point 7yo had unlocked the door. When he came out, we all built bridges with K'nex.
Aside from the one sentence I spoke through the door, I never said anything more about it to my 7yo. Just gave him a hug when I saw him again after he'd come out. I'm not sure if I should try to talk with him about it. He tends to cover his face, trying not to smile. If I ask questions trying to get at what was going on for him or what we could do differently to help him, he just says, "I don't know."
I do generally try to look for ways my 7yo doesn't have to go places if he doesn't want to. Sometimes he can go to dh's office or dh can come home to work. Sometimes I can get a ride to/from an activity for my oldest (or dh can take him). But there are times when, in order to get 10yo to karate, the younger boys and I need to take him or pick him up.
This raises a broader question or two I've been wondering recently: how do others with multiple children (but no-one old enough to stay home alone or with littler ones) handle making decisions to go someplace? Do others with a child (or more) who generally don't like to go places and/or are very shy worry about it? It seems very limiting, not just for the rest of us, but also for the child who wants to stay at home (and usually, inside).
Katharine
----- Original Message ----
From: Lisa Heyman <Lmanathome@...>
For future planning - Was this date planned with everyone in agreement to
start with? Had he been consulted on the plans in advance? Was he involved
in something more important to him when it was time to leave? Do you have
any idea why he is resistant to going?
____________________________________________________________________________________
Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast
with the Yahoo! Search weather shortcut.
http://tools.search.yahoo.com/shortcuts/#loc_weather
Glad to know I'm not alone in having a child (or two -- my 4yo is leaning this way too) who doesn't want to go anywhere (or at least, very, very often doesn't:-).
In this case, going later really wasn't an option, although certainly other times it might be. We did end up having a pleasant afternoon anyway. I held my eldest while he (and I as well, but quietly) cried. Told 7yo that we were sad -- 10yo b/c of not going and me b/c of not going but also b/c I could tell that he was feeling angry about going and I didn't really know why (or something like that). Then 10yo and I read together for awhile, by which point 7yo had unlocked the door. When he came out, we all built bridges with K'nex.
Aside from the one sentence I spoke through the door, I never said anything more about it to my 7yo. Just gave him a hug when I saw him again after he'd come out. I'm not sure if I should try to talk with him about it. He tends to cover his face, trying not to smile. If I ask questions trying to get at what was going on for him or what we could do differently to help him, he just says, "I don't know."
I do generally try to look for ways my 7yo doesn't have to go places if he doesn't want to. Sometimes he can go to dh's office or dh can come home to work. Sometimes I can get a ride to/from an activity for my oldest (or dh can take him). But there are times when, in order to get 10yo to karate, the younger boys and I need to take him or pick him up.
This raises a broader question or two I've been wondering recently: how do others with multiple children (but no-one old enough to stay home alone or with littler ones) handle making decisions to go someplace? Do others with a child (or more) who generally don't like to go places and/or are very shy worry about it? It seems very limiting, not just for the rest of us, but also for the child who wants to stay at home (and usually, inside).
Katharine
----- Original Message ----
From: Lisa Heyman <Lmanathome@...>
For future planning - Was this date planned with everyone in agreement to
start with? Had he been consulted on the plans in advance? Was he involved
in something more important to him when it was time to leave? Do you have
any idea why he is resistant to going?
____________________________________________________________________________________
Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast
with the Yahoo! Search weather shortcut.
http://tools.search.yahoo.com/shortcuts/#loc_weather
Rachel Salavon
This is a hard one. In my case, my 7yo is the oldest. With twin
toddlers, it is easier for us to just stay home. We stay home as
much as possible - which is almost all the time. If we have to go
pick up/ drop off, I try to make it as painless as possible for
him. He'll sometimes stay in the car while I run in (it's better if
he doesn't have to wear shoes!). My 5yo is very social and loves to
go places and be with people. He just recently started going to
Judo with my DH. He seems happy about it (although I hate
competitive sports for young children). I try to run all errands
while DH is home -- which sometimes means groceries at midnight.
And I take one or two of the younger ones with me on other trips. I
have to admit, we would probably go to the zoo and the park a lot
more often if my 7yo was willing. He has made it very clear that he
does not like going anywhere. For some reason he just needs to be
home. But my other children are young enough that they are happy
being home too.
I have a friend who says parkdays and get togethers with other
unschoolers are more for the moms than the kids. I think she's
right. We need some adult human contact. I'm glad I at least have
the internet for some interaction with other moms.
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
while he (and I as well, but quietly) cried. Told 7yo that we were
sad -- 10yo b/c of not going and me b/c of not going but also b/c I
could tell that he was feeling angry about going and I didn't really
know why (or something like that). Then 10yo and I read together
for awhile, by which point 7yo had unlocked the door. When he came
out, we all built bridges with K'nex.
those moments - especially if another child is hurting. But that is
when they need your understanding the most. I suppose in time, he
will be able to tell you why. At least he has the freedom to be
honest about his needs.
Rachel
toddlers, it is easier for us to just stay home. We stay home as
much as possible - which is almost all the time. If we have to go
pick up/ drop off, I try to make it as painless as possible for
him. He'll sometimes stay in the car while I run in (it's better if
he doesn't have to wear shoes!). My 5yo is very social and loves to
go places and be with people. He just recently started going to
Judo with my DH. He seems happy about it (although I hate
competitive sports for young children). I try to run all errands
while DH is home -- which sometimes means groceries at midnight.
And I take one or two of the younger ones with me on other trips. I
have to admit, we would probably go to the zoo and the park a lot
more often if my 7yo was willing. He has made it very clear that he
does not like going anywhere. For some reason he just needs to be
home. But my other children are young enough that they are happy
being home too.
I have a friend who says parkdays and get togethers with other
unschoolers are more for the moms than the kids. I think she's
right. We need some adult human contact. I'm glad I at least have
the internet for some interaction with other moms.
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
>We did end up having a pleasant afternoon anyway. I held my eldest
while he (and I as well, but quietly) cried. Told 7yo that we were
sad -- 10yo b/c of not going and me b/c of not going but also b/c I
could tell that he was feeling angry about going and I didn't really
know why (or something like that). Then 10yo and I read together
for awhile, by which point 7yo had unlocked the door. When he came
out, we all built bridges with K'nex.
>That is beautiful. It's hardest to show your love and generosity in
those moments - especially if another child is hurting. But that is
when they need your understanding the most. I suppose in time, he
will be able to tell you why. At least he has the freedom to be
honest about his needs.
Rachel
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], Katharine Wise
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
at home with our neighbor. The neighbor's a bit more of the: "I'm
the adult so we're doing it my way" persuasion, but Mo likes her, so
I'm reasonably comfortable with the situation.
If/when we don't have that option, I load up the car with a whole
bunch of stuff for Mo to do *in* the car to make the trip more
palatable to her - she might want to get out and play or socialize
wherever we are going, but I don't count on it. The portable DVD
player helps to sweeten this a Lot - unfortunately it's having
technical problems at the moment, so I have to look for other ways
for Mo to get her needs met. Packing toys or books she hasn't seen
for awhile helps, or stopping to get something new at the dollar
store.
for a period of time before interacting - that's usually considered
a problem, but its a way of learning. Mo needs to watch people for
awhile before she'll interact ("shy"), but will launch herself into
a physical situation with no hesitation. Her best pal is exactly the
opposite - she'll run up to complete strangers and start a
conversation, but hold back and need to watch Mo (or someone else
she knows) *do* something physical before trying it.
Going new places or meeting new people can be stressful. Both Mo and
her pal will opt to stay home if they aren't up for the stress of
dealing with "newness". I work around that as much as I can with Mo -
I feel the same way, myself pretty often, so staying home is just
fine with me. *I* don't feel limited by staying home most of the
time.
My stepson's a lot more social, though, so we're working on finding
ways for him to get *out* more that also respect Mo's needs - mostly
finding people-resources, in our case.
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
>> This raises a broader question or two I've been wonderingToday I'm going to the skatepark with my stepson while Mo hangs out
>recently: how do others with multiple children (but no-one old
>enough to stay home alone or with littler ones) handle making
>decisions to go someplace?
at home with our neighbor. The neighbor's a bit more of the: "I'm
the adult so we're doing it my way" persuasion, but Mo likes her, so
I'm reasonably comfortable with the situation.
If/when we don't have that option, I load up the car with a whole
bunch of stuff for Mo to do *in* the car to make the trip more
palatable to her - she might want to get out and play or socialize
wherever we are going, but I don't count on it. The portable DVD
player helps to sweeten this a Lot - unfortunately it's having
technical problems at the moment, so I have to look for other ways
for Mo to get her needs met. Packing toys or books she hasn't seen
for awhile helps, or stopping to get something new at the dollar
store.
>Do others with a child (or more) whoSome people need to watch or otherwise "take in" a new environment
>generally don't like to go places and/or are very shy worry about
>it? It seems very limiting, not just for the rest of us, but also
>for the child who wants to stay at home (and usually, inside).
for a period of time before interacting - that's usually considered
a problem, but its a way of learning. Mo needs to watch people for
awhile before she'll interact ("shy"), but will launch herself into
a physical situation with no hesitation. Her best pal is exactly the
opposite - she'll run up to complete strangers and start a
conversation, but hold back and need to watch Mo (or someone else
she knows) *do* something physical before trying it.
Going new places or meeting new people can be stressful. Both Mo and
her pal will opt to stay home if they aren't up for the stress of
dealing with "newness". I work around that as much as I can with Mo -
I feel the same way, myself pretty often, so staying home is just
fine with me. *I* don't feel limited by staying home most of the
time.
My stepson's a lot more social, though, so we're working on finding
ways for him to get *out* more that also respect Mo's needs - mostly
finding people-resources, in our case.
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
Ginger Sabo
I have a 7 year old that hates to go places. I let him know far in advance that we have to go someplace. Then if he says he doesn't want to go I say we can try the neighbors we have that can watch him. I also mention that if they are not home or not available that he will have to come. When I can each of the 3, I make sure he is in earshot so that he know. After I finish the call I let him know if I was able to talk with the potential 'sitter' or if I left a message. I also try and say something that lets him know I am doing everything I can to honor his need. If all else fails, he had to come with us. I try and make sure he has food and a toy(s) for the car and trip. If he is aware of all that I try and do for him, he's ok with going (not happy with it, but not complaining either). This has been the case for over 6 months now...hoping for him to find a solution within himself.
In Peace,
Ginger
Kai(7) and Kade(5)
LOVE has impact.
"It's not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences." - Audre Lorde
----- Original Message ----
From: Katharine Wise <katharinewise@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, March 7, 2007 7:26:03 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] refusal
Thanks, Lisa and Rachel,
Glad to know I'm not alone in having a child (or two -- my 4yo is leaning this way too) who doesn't want to go anywhere (or at least, very, very often doesn't:-).
In this case, going later really wasn't an option, although certainly other times it might be. We did end up having a pleasant afternoon anyway. I held my eldest while he (and I as well, but quietly) cried. Told 7yo that we were sad -- 10yo b/c of not going and me b/c of not going but also b/c I could tell that he was feeling angry about going and I didn't really know why (or something like that). Then 10yo and I read together for awhile, by which point 7yo had unlocked the door. When he came out, we all built bridges with K'nex.
Aside from the one sentence I spoke through the door, I never said anything more about it to my 7yo. Just gave him a hug when I saw him again after he'd come out. I'm not sure if I should try to talk with him about it. He tends to cover his face, trying not to smile. If I ask questions trying to get at what was going on for him or what we could do differently to help him, he just says, "I don't know."
I do generally try to look for ways my 7yo doesn't have to go places if he doesn't want to. Sometimes he can go to dh's office or dh can come home to work. Sometimes I can get a ride to/from an activity for my oldest (or dh can take him). But there are times when, in order to get 10yo to karate, the younger boys and I need to take him or pick him up.
This raises a broader question or two I've been wondering recently: how do others with multiple children (but no-one old enough to stay home alone or with littler ones) handle making decisions to go someplace? Do others with a child (or more) who generally don't like to go places and/or are very shy worry about it? It seems very limiting, not just for the rest of us, but also for the child who wants to stay at home (and usually, inside).
Katharine
----- Original Message ----
From: Lisa Heyman <Lmanathome@msn. com>
For future planning - Was this date planned with everyone in agreement to
start with? Had he been consulted on the plans in advance? Was he involved
in something more important to him when it was time to leave? Do you have
any idea why he is resistant to going?
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast
with the Yahoo! Search weather shortcut.
http://tools. search.yahoo. com/shortcuts/ #loc_weather
____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a PS3 game guru.
Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Yahoo! Games.
http://videogames.yahoo.com/platform?platform=120121
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
In Peace,
Ginger
Kai(7) and Kade(5)
LOVE has impact.
"It's not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences." - Audre Lorde
----- Original Message ----
From: Katharine Wise <katharinewise@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, March 7, 2007 7:26:03 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] refusal
Thanks, Lisa and Rachel,
Glad to know I'm not alone in having a child (or two -- my 4yo is leaning this way too) who doesn't want to go anywhere (or at least, very, very often doesn't:-).
In this case, going later really wasn't an option, although certainly other times it might be. We did end up having a pleasant afternoon anyway. I held my eldest while he (and I as well, but quietly) cried. Told 7yo that we were sad -- 10yo b/c of not going and me b/c of not going but also b/c I could tell that he was feeling angry about going and I didn't really know why (or something like that). Then 10yo and I read together for awhile, by which point 7yo had unlocked the door. When he came out, we all built bridges with K'nex.
Aside from the one sentence I spoke through the door, I never said anything more about it to my 7yo. Just gave him a hug when I saw him again after he'd come out. I'm not sure if I should try to talk with him about it. He tends to cover his face, trying not to smile. If I ask questions trying to get at what was going on for him or what we could do differently to help him, he just says, "I don't know."
I do generally try to look for ways my 7yo doesn't have to go places if he doesn't want to. Sometimes he can go to dh's office or dh can come home to work. Sometimes I can get a ride to/from an activity for my oldest (or dh can take him). But there are times when, in order to get 10yo to karate, the younger boys and I need to take him or pick him up.
This raises a broader question or two I've been wondering recently: how do others with multiple children (but no-one old enough to stay home alone or with littler ones) handle making decisions to go someplace? Do others with a child (or more) who generally don't like to go places and/or are very shy worry about it? It seems very limiting, not just for the rest of us, but also for the child who wants to stay at home (and usually, inside).
Katharine
----- Original Message ----
From: Lisa Heyman <Lmanathome@msn. com>
For future planning - Was this date planned with everyone in agreement to
start with? Had he been consulted on the plans in advance? Was he involved
in something more important to him when it was time to leave? Do you have
any idea why he is resistant to going?
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast
with the Yahoo! Search weather shortcut.
http://tools. search.yahoo. com/shortcuts/ #loc_weather
____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a PS3 game guru.
Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Yahoo! Games.
http://videogames.yahoo.com/platform?platform=120121
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
I have a few kids as well who don't always like to go places. My 12 year old is old enough
to stay home, and since he's done his first aid training he will keep the 8 yo OR the 7yo
home with him if they don't want to go. I try to not do both at the same time since they
tend to squabble until violence occurs. We also have a neighbor who works irregular
hours, so I can always call and ask them to walk over to keep an eye on kids.
But generally we sweeten the pot until everyone wants to go. Playdate? well, if you can
suck it up for an hour with your gameboy, DS or library book, then I think it would be fair
to stop for a smoothie. Library? Well, take what you want to play with, and you can play
while everyone else is looking. We try to keep it shorter if people didn't want to go, and we
take a ton of treasures to keep people busy. The extra trips usually double our time out of
the house, especially if Josh says, "Well, I want to go but only if we can stop by Borders,"
and Emily says "I want to swing by Toys R Us and see how much X, Y and Z is", and Rachel
want's the icee from 7-11, but Sam want's a smoothie from Braums, and Breanna want's
the mall and the candy store.
It's probably also some remnant of our mommy/kid dates too, that they just like to get out
of the house. Having choices on what to do when out helps a lot.
Melissa
to stay home, and since he's done his first aid training he will keep the 8 yo OR the 7yo
home with him if they don't want to go. I try to not do both at the same time since they
tend to squabble until violence occurs. We also have a neighbor who works irregular
hours, so I can always call and ask them to walk over to keep an eye on kids.
But generally we sweeten the pot until everyone wants to go. Playdate? well, if you can
suck it up for an hour with your gameboy, DS or library book, then I think it would be fair
to stop for a smoothie. Library? Well, take what you want to play with, and you can play
while everyone else is looking. We try to keep it shorter if people didn't want to go, and we
take a ton of treasures to keep people busy. The extra trips usually double our time out of
the house, especially if Josh says, "Well, I want to go but only if we can stop by Borders,"
and Emily says "I want to swing by Toys R Us and see how much X, Y and Z is", and Rachel
want's the icee from 7-11, but Sam want's a smoothie from Braums, and Breanna want's
the mall and the candy store.
It's probably also some remnant of our mommy/kid dates too, that they just like to get out
of the house. Having choices on what to do when out helps a lot.
Melissa
--- In [email protected], Katharine Wise <katharinewise@...> wrote:
> This raises a broader question or two I've been wondering recently: how do others with
multiple children (but no-one old enough to stay home alone or with littler ones) handle
making decisions to go someplace? Do others with a child (or more) who generally don't
like to go places and/or are very shy worry about it? It seems very limiting, not just for the
rest of us, but also for the child who wants to stay at home (and usually, inside).