"Getting it"
Katharine Wise
I'm not sure which posts on which thread this was in, but I was thinking about some of the discussion about people's not "getting it" despite reading Sandra Dodd's site and others and the books and lists.
Perhaps it's not so much about "not getting it" as it is about not fully believing it -- wanting to believe it but not being sure. After all, most of us don't know any older unschoolers in real life -- especially not older radical unschoolers. So all we have to go on are our own leanings and printed resources. I think that's why some of the questions are repeated over and over, even when they're addressed on Sandra's website and other places. Asking the questions on the lists feels a step closer to "knowing" real people who've btdt.
Personally, I never doubted that my child would learn to read in his own time. My own background supported that belief. I believed implicitly, much as I believed that I could breastfeed my baby. In a lot of earlier parenting decisions (co-sleeping, child-led weaning) I had mentors with older children whom I knew in real life and could look up to and ask questions. But when it comes to RU questions -- I don't know anyone IRL (with one exception, but her kids are the ages of my younger two) who tries to parent the way I want to. (I know some lovely parents, but they still definitely start with a "mommy knows best" approach even if it's "gentle".)
This may also explain why people want or need to slowly make the transition to unschooling or RU. Yes, they hear you saying, "It works. It's wonderful. It's joyful," loud and clear. But from their perspective, if they follow your suggestions they are trusting total strangers. They've never seen you or your kids. They are taking a big risk and going against the advice of everyone they know and love. They're probably also following their hearts, but most of us have had our hearts make mistakes before:-) Their lives are okay now, not ideal, but usually they can live with it. What if RU turns out to be a disaster? It might not be so easy to undo and go back to the old way. Changing one thing at a time seems safer. Then, when the results are good, they try the next thing.
Just some thoughts that I thought might shed light on the perspective of "newbies".
Katharine
____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for earth-friendly autos?
Browse Top Cars by "Green Rating" at Yahoo! Autos' Green Center.
http://autos.yahoo.com/green_center/
Perhaps it's not so much about "not getting it" as it is about not fully believing it -- wanting to believe it but not being sure. After all, most of us don't know any older unschoolers in real life -- especially not older radical unschoolers. So all we have to go on are our own leanings and printed resources. I think that's why some of the questions are repeated over and over, even when they're addressed on Sandra's website and other places. Asking the questions on the lists feels a step closer to "knowing" real people who've btdt.
Personally, I never doubted that my child would learn to read in his own time. My own background supported that belief. I believed implicitly, much as I believed that I could breastfeed my baby. In a lot of earlier parenting decisions (co-sleeping, child-led weaning) I had mentors with older children whom I knew in real life and could look up to and ask questions. But when it comes to RU questions -- I don't know anyone IRL (with one exception, but her kids are the ages of my younger two) who tries to parent the way I want to. (I know some lovely parents, but they still definitely start with a "mommy knows best" approach even if it's "gentle".)
This may also explain why people want or need to slowly make the transition to unschooling or RU. Yes, they hear you saying, "It works. It's wonderful. It's joyful," loud and clear. But from their perspective, if they follow your suggestions they are trusting total strangers. They've never seen you or your kids. They are taking a big risk and going against the advice of everyone they know and love. They're probably also following their hearts, but most of us have had our hearts make mistakes before:-) Their lives are okay now, not ideal, but usually they can live with it. What if RU turns out to be a disaster? It might not be so easy to undo and go back to the old way. Changing one thing at a time seems safer. Then, when the results are good, they try the next thing.
Just some thoughts that I thought might shed light on the perspective of "newbies".
Katharine
____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for earth-friendly autos?
Browse Top Cars by "Green Rating" at Yahoo! Autos' Green Center.
http://autos.yahoo.com/green_center/
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: katharinewise@...
I'm not sure which posts on which thread this was in, but I was
thinking about
some of the discussion about people's not "getting it" despite reading
Sandra
Dodd's site and others and the books and lists.
Perhaps it's not so much about "not getting it" as it is about not
fully
believing it -- wanting to believe it but not being sure. After all,
most of us
don't know any older unschoolers in real life -- especially not older
radical
unschoolers. So all we have to go on are our own leanings and printed
resources. I think that's why some of the questions are repeated over
and over,
even when they're addressed on Sandra's website and other places.
Asking the
questions on the lists feels a step closer to "knowing" real people
who've btdt.
Personally, I never doubted that my child would learn to read in his
own time.
My own background supported that belief. I believed implicitly, much
as I
believed that I could breastfeed my baby. In a lot of earlier
parenting
decisions (co-sleeping, child-led weaning) I had mentors with older
children
whom I knew in real life and could look up to and ask questions. But
when it
comes to RU questions -- I don't know anyone IRL (with one exception,
but her
kids are the ages of my younger two) who tries to parent the way I want
to. (I
know some lovely parents, but they still definitely start with a "mommy
knows
best" approach even if it's "gentle".)
This may also explain why people want or need to slowly make the
transition to
unschooling or RU. Yes, they hear you saying, "It works. It's
wonderful. It's
joyful," loud and clear. But from their perspective, if they follow
your
suggestions they are trusting total strangers. They've never seen you
or your
kids. They are taking a big risk and going against the advice of
everyone they
know and love. They're probably also following their hearts, but most
of us
have had our hearts make mistakes before:-) Their lives are okay now,
not
ideal, but usually they can live with it. What if RU turns out to be a
disaster? It might not be so easy to undo and go back to the old way.
Changing
one thing at a time seems safer. Then, when the results are good, they
try the
next thing.
Just some thoughts that I thought might shed light on the perspective
of
"newbies".
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
All the more reason to seek out a conference near you!
Hundreds of unschoolers all in one place. All ages and life
experiences. People who are kind and gentle with their kids. No one
asks what curriculum you use. <g> It's really something!
ANd why I started the first conference six years ago! Because how could
these people be REAL? I needed PROOF!
But we're out there. And it's really important to make those real, live
contacts!
Make the effort to get to a conference. It will really change your
lives.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
across the web, free AOL Mail and more.
From: katharinewise@...
I'm not sure which posts on which thread this was in, but I was
thinking about
some of the discussion about people's not "getting it" despite reading
Sandra
Dodd's site and others and the books and lists.
Perhaps it's not so much about "not getting it" as it is about not
fully
believing it -- wanting to believe it but not being sure. After all,
most of us
don't know any older unschoolers in real life -- especially not older
radical
unschoolers. So all we have to go on are our own leanings and printed
resources. I think that's why some of the questions are repeated over
and over,
even when they're addressed on Sandra's website and other places.
Asking the
questions on the lists feels a step closer to "knowing" real people
who've btdt.
Personally, I never doubted that my child would learn to read in his
own time.
My own background supported that belief. I believed implicitly, much
as I
believed that I could breastfeed my baby. In a lot of earlier
parenting
decisions (co-sleeping, child-led weaning) I had mentors with older
children
whom I knew in real life and could look up to and ask questions. But
when it
comes to RU questions -- I don't know anyone IRL (with one exception,
but her
kids are the ages of my younger two) who tries to parent the way I want
to. (I
know some lovely parents, but they still definitely start with a "mommy
knows
best" approach even if it's "gentle".)
This may also explain why people want or need to slowly make the
transition to
unschooling or RU. Yes, they hear you saying, "It works. It's
wonderful. It's
joyful," loud and clear. But from their perspective, if they follow
your
suggestions they are trusting total strangers. They've never seen you
or your
kids. They are taking a big risk and going against the advice of
everyone they
know and love. They're probably also following their hearts, but most
of us
have had our hearts make mistakes before:-) Their lives are okay now,
not
ideal, but usually they can live with it. What if RU turns out to be a
disaster? It might not be so easy to undo and go back to the old way.
Changing
one thing at a time seems safer. Then, when the results are good, they
try the
next thing.
Just some thoughts that I thought might shed light on the perspective
of
"newbies".
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
All the more reason to seek out a conference near you!
Hundreds of unschoolers all in one place. All ages and life
experiences. People who are kind and gentle with their kids. No one
asks what curriculum you use. <g> It's really something!
ANd why I started the first conference six years ago! Because how could
these people be REAL? I needed PROOF!
But we're out there. And it's really important to make those real, live
contacts!
Make the effort to get to a conference. It will really change your
lives.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
across the web, free AOL Mail and more.