Tonya Matthews

Hi All,
I'm looking for some wisdom here. Anyone that knows me knows that
I'm not big into pets. I think of the mess before anything else. I
*have* been a dog owner though so I do know what it entails somewhat.

What I haven't had, though, is experience with a family dog(as a
parent, had a dog for a short time as a teen). The dog we had when
the kids were little was my husband's old dog. It was given back to
us after my mom couldn't take care of him anymore and I wouldn't
regard him as a family pet as he was outside/in the basement most of
the short time we had him.

I listed to my husband all the reasons why NOT to have a dog. I got
to my second set of fingers (meaning more than 10) before I started
to slow down. I then tried to mention the things that were pros and
only got to 3.

We have the opportunity to get a 3 yr old choc lab. The fact that
he's not a chew-the-furniture-go-on-the-floor age is a major plus so
I'm happy with that. When we mentioned it to the kids, they were
estatic with the idea, but aren't most kids?

Any really important reasons why I should consider this??

Thanks for your input. If you'd like you can email me offlist @
cheftonya@...

Thanks again in advance,
Tonya in Auburn

[email protected]

In a message dated 2/7/2007 1:53:35 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
godzilla.matthews@... writes:

We have the opportunity to get a 3 yr old choc lab. The fact that
he's not a chew-the-furniture-he's not ahe's not a
chew-the-furniture-<WBR>go-o
I'm happy with that. When we mentioned it to the kids, they were
estatic with the idea, but aren't most kids?

Any really important reasons why I should consider this??




you should consider it because the chocolate lab will show you how to love
the way God loves; how to forgive unconditionally, how to be happy even when
in pain or even when not treated exactly the way you want to be treated. He
will teach you lessons about how to be a better human being that no human being
can teach you. He will fill your house with joy, give your life more
purpose, and when he dies you will not know how to live one second without him. You
will see him in every corner and you'll think you hear his footsteps at
night. You will look at the foot of the bed and cry because you wish he was still
there. THERE IS NOTHING like a dog to make your family whole - complete - and
wonderful! And a chocolate lab! WOW, what a great breed! There is nothing
like a lab - America's favorite breed!!!

We pick up our 4th dog Gershwin, a white/cream Labradoodle this Friday
morning. The kids and I can barely sleep at night from excitement.

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A DOG!!!!!!!!!!!
Please give this a try!

Adriana




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Feb 7, 2007, at 1:49 PM, Tonya Matthews wrote:

> Any really important reasons why I should consider this??

Basically it boils down to a good experience for the kids which is a
way bigger point than any of the others.

If you were to do the same kind of pros and cons for having kids, I
think the cons would come out way ahead. ;-) Kids *are* inconvenient.
Dogs are too.

We make the effort to get kids to the museum, to fireworks, to weekly
dance classes because it's something they value not because the
number of pros outnumber the cons.

That doesn't make the cons of dogs go away ;-) I think the most
helpful mindset with getting pets for the kids is that it's an
experience we want to give them and to expect to take care of the
ptes while inviting the kids along to help.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: godzilla.matthews@...

I listed to my husband all the reasons why NOT to have a dog. I got
to my second set of fingers (meaning more than 10) before I started
to slow down. I then tried to mention the things that were pros and
only got to 3.

-=-=-=-

Would you care to elaborate? Maybe I could turn a few cons into pros....

-=-=-=-=-

We have the opportunity to get a 3 yr old choc lab. The fact that
he's not a chew-the-furniture-go-on-the-floor age is a major plus so
I'm happy with that. When we mentioned it to the kids, they were
estatic with the idea, but aren't most kids?

Any really important reasons why I should consider this??

-=-=-=-=-

Wouldn't your children's ecstatic emotions be enough? <bwg>


Older dogs make GREAT pets usually, although they too can come with
issues. Why is the family giving him away?

Although I don't do well with sibling issues or highly
sensitive/explosive/angry/difficult child questions, I can help with
*this*. <bwg>

~Kelly



Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org


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Marieke Willis

--- kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
> -----Original Message-----
> From: godzilla.matthews@...
> We have the opportunity to get a 3 yr old choc lab. The fact that
> he's not a chew-the-furniture-go-on-the-floor age is a major plus so
> I'm happy with that. When we mentioned it to the kids, they were
> estatic with the idea, but aren't most kids?
>
> Any really important reasons why I should consider this??
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> Wouldn't your children's ecstatic emotions be enough? <bwg>

Personally I would've said to do w/e, but considering you mentioned it
to your kids (even if qualified with a 'maybe'), I find it kinda cruel
to then say 'no'.

Marieke



____________________________________________________________________________________
Get your own web address.
Have a HUGE year through Yahoo! Small Business.
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Kristen Hendricks

Another reason... (totally has nothing to do with the kids)...

There are so many animals out there who get put to sleep everyday. I think that if you are willing to open your heart and home to a dog, then that is awesome!

I run an animal rescue and see so many homeless animals.. I think if everyone would make the consideration you are... then there would be alot more happy endings for the dogs (AND for the happy kids who now have a pet!!)

Thanks for considering it!! Thats a topic that is close to the heart for me :)


*Kristen*
Kendall MacKenzie
8/30/2003
Riley Elizabeth
11/7/2005
Nolan Alexander
9/20/2006





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

<<We have the opportunity to get a 3 yr old choc lab. The fact that
he's not a chew-the-furniture-he's not ahe's not a chew-the-furniture-
I'm happy with that. When we mentioned it to the kids, they were
estatic with the idea, but aren't most kids?

Any really important reasons why I should consider this??>>
*************************************************************************

Companionship
Memories
Happy memories
Lasting memories
Giggles and smiles

A little story for you.
As a small child living in Ayer , MA my father used to bring home stray
dogs. Mom hated it. I don't remember that part much but what i do remember is dad
leaving and the dogs leaving too. I spent a good 8+ years longing for a dog
every holiday and birthday. I was heart broken every time those days came and
went.

My mother never got it bc she couldn't be bothered with the upkeep. It was
more about the cleaning than the connection to her. My story is one of
separation and divorce but I have happier days to share.
I breed Brittanys now.. we have 5 of them 2 males and 3 females(which are
expecting ). Our children still light up when they see the dogs and cuddle when
one of the dogs comes to lay down. Our dogs have been through every test you
can imagine and some day I swear they wouldn't have it any other way:) You
see they are part of the family. They are part of who we are. Each year we
have 1-3 litters and our children get to see every happy face that comes through
our door. Memories and stories of past dogs being replaced with new and
those who never owned a dog making new memories. Nervous parents with happy
giggling children running around the yard with their new puppy.
We can deny what we fear... the feelings we may never know we had.... but we
will never know until we open that door of hope... A smile, a dream.. a
memory to last a lifetime...of what could be..

Laura
_http://www.drewsbrittanys.com_ (http://www.drewsbrittanys.com)
_http://www.unschoolingmaine.com_ (http://www.unschoolingmaine.com)
_http://www.countrymoosekids.com_ (http://www.countrymoosekids.com)
BTW I finally talked my mom into buying a dog when I was 20. She's had one
ever since:)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra Rossing

One thing I'd for sure want to know is WHY a 3 yr old dog is needing a
new home. Is he coming from a shelter? Is the current owner's lifestyle
changing (moving to an apartment for instance)?

I'd also want to meet the dog first for a good long visit, with the
whole family there. Just because he's 3 don't discount the fact that
labs can sometimes be very 'mouthy' and want to chew - plan on having
lots of big bones and other chewables - keep in mind that labs are
designed to retrieve - pick up things in their mouths. It won't be
'teething' that you'd have with a puppy but there still might be chewing
situations.

When we started looking for a dog, DS was about 4. I grew up with dogs,
so I was really excited about it when we finally had our own home and
could even think about being owned by a pup. I also had a checklist of
behavioral 'tests' in my head for any potential dog addition to our
family. We found our pup (he's now about 6 years old, a yellow
lab/golden retriever mix) at a shelter. I watched -really- carefully to
see how he would react to DH (6 feet tall, big, bearded male) and how he
would react to DS (at the time, 4 yr old, excited, bouncy child). I
wanted to NOT see cowering or cringing toward DH - a scared dog is more
likely to feel cornered and react aggressively. I also did not want to
see aggression toward DS, a 'smaller' member of the 'pack'.

One thing to consider (if you haven't already) is that labs need lots of
exercise and play. And, they want to be WITH you, they are very social.
They are not happy if left alone a lot. Our lab thinks he's a lap dog -
anyone sitting on the couch can expect him to climb up onto their lap if
they aren't paying attention (though you can also teach him to stay off
the furniture - we don't bother - our third hand couch is fine for dogs
and kids, we deliberately don't have 'good' furniture at this stage).
One positive is that labs are super trainable specifically because they
are such pack, people pleaser critters. Once you establish yourself
(you, DH, the kids) as the top of the pecking order and the dog at the
bottom, they will do just about anything you care to teach them. When we
got Bucky (our lab), we also got the invisible fence so he could go in
and out at will and have the run of the yard. The trainer (came with the
purchase of the fence) noted that labs are particularly easy to train
because they want to please.

Can you maybe arrange a weekend 'trial visit' with no strings - "pet
sitting" if you will. That way you'd get to see the dog in your
environment. The shelter we got our lab from *requires* an overnight
'trial' visit before they will finalize the adoption (even though I knew
right away that this was Our Dog, I complied and then went back the next
day they were open and did the paperwork).

I'd also want to prep the kids ahead of time as to how to 'meet' a new
dog so there are no mishaps due to excitement - approaching slowly, one
hand out slightly palm down to allow the dog to sniff you before you
even touch the dog to start with. Don't raise your hand quickly above
the dogs head since they can't see there and might consider it a threat
(particularly if they've been smacked for misbehaving) - this is a tough
one because it seems everyone wants to just scratch a pup's head or ears
(it's SOOOOO soft there). It can be better to start with patting the
mid-back, the head and throat area are more likely to evoke a 'threat'
reaction than the middle of the back.

Having a good family dog is really worth it (speaking as both a person
who always had a dog around growing up and now as a parent with a family
dog)

Deb

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra Rossing

Kristen

Wish we were near you - we'd probably have a houseful of adoptees! Okay,
probably not - DH's limit is two (or one very active lab LOL). I'd
volunteer to help you with the animal care though if you needed it. And,
our current dog is a rescue from a shelter near us (a no-kill shelter
BTW. Bucky was a stray picked up in the city near us and the city pound
has a strict limit on the length of stay, if they aren't adopted or
reclaimed, that's it. So, the shelter will go and 'adopt' any that are
near the end of their stay that they have room for in their facility.
That's how we got Bucky)

Deb

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kristenhendricks55

Okay I dont want to make this long.. so I just wanted to say that..
with dogs- they are way more likely to follow the "nurture" than
the "nature".

This dog is three. If he was never given a chew toy, he probably has
no will to chew. He is beyond his puppy stage and is probably set in
his ways. However, if hes a chewer you will know right away. Try
taking a chew toy with you when you go see him (n orawhides) and see
what he does.

And the question "why does he need a new home when hes three".... if
you only knew. Most people who get large breed dogs just simply
don't realize how big the dog will get and decide its not for them.

If you'd like to chat with me about "2nd chance" animals.. (meaning
animals who have already had a previous home).. feel free to email
me off-list. While I'm sure the below poster means well (and has
alot of good points in there if youre starting with a puppy or very
young dog).. I do this every day of my life and I know what to look
for and what to expect in dogs out of their "puppy stage".
Especially with large breed dogs :)

One other thing I'd like to add that I noticed was mentioned...
invisible fences are nice.. but only for the convenience of the
owner.

Invisible fences MAY keep your dog in, but what keeps other dogs
out? How do you keep strays from coming into your yard and fighting
with your dog? How do you keep out disease-ridden critters without a
true fence (a structure, not a buried wire)? How do you insure that
a child doesnt wander into your yard and stratle your dog and your
dog possibly bites this child. Now you are left with a lawsuit and
your dog to be put to sleep.

Another FYI... there was recently a test using german shepards,
cocker spaniels, and toy poodles, all of three different sizes..
where they were exposed to a dog being walked by on the other side
of the "invisible fence". In over 70% of the trials, the dog in
question ran right through the fence. None of the three dogs were
more or less likely to do so. Something to think about...

In my opinion... invisible fences are one of the warst things you
can do to your pet.

I'll get off my soap box now.. sorry :)


--- In [email protected], "Debra Rossing"
<debra.rossing@...> wrote:
>
> One thing I'd for sure want to know is WHY a 3 yr old dog is
needing a
> new home. Is he coming from a shelter? Is the current owner's
lifestyle
> changing (moving to an apartment for instance)?
>
> I'd also want to meet the dog first for a good long visit, with the
> whole family there. Just because he's 3 don't discount the fact
that
> labs can sometimes be very 'mouthy' and want to chew - plan on
having
> lots of big bones and other chewables - keep in mind that labs are
> designed to retrieve - pick up things in their mouths. It won't be
> 'teething' that you'd have with a puppy but there still might be
chewing
> situations.
>
> When we started looking for a dog, DS was about 4. I grew up with
dogs,
> so I was really excited about it when we finally had our own home
and
> could even think about being owned by a pup. I also had a
checklist of
> behavioral 'tests' in my head for any potential dog addition to our
> family. We found our pup (he's now about 6 years old, a yellow
> lab/golden retriever mix) at a shelter. I watched -really-
carefully to
> see how he would react to DH (6 feet tall, big, bearded male) and
how he
> would react to DS (at the time, 4 yr old, excited, bouncy child). I
> wanted to NOT see cowering or cringing toward DH - a scared dog is
more
> likely to feel cornered and react aggressively. I also did not
want to
> see aggression toward DS, a 'smaller' member of the 'pack'.
>
> One thing to consider (if you haven't already) is that labs need
lots of
> exercise and play. And, they want to be WITH you, they are very
social.
> They are not happy if left alone a lot. Our lab thinks he's a lap
dog -
> anyone sitting on the couch can expect him to climb up onto their
lap if
> they aren't paying attention (though you can also teach him to
stay off
> the furniture - we don't bother - our third hand couch is fine for
dogs
> and kids, we deliberately don't have 'good' furniture at this
stage).
> One positive is that labs are super trainable specifically because
they
> are such pack, people pleaser critters. Once you establish yourself
> (you, DH, the kids) as the top of the pecking order and the dog at
the
> bottom, they will do just about anything you care to teach them.
When we
> got Bucky (our lab), we also got the invisible fence so he could
go in
> and out at will and have the run of the yard. The trainer (came
with the
> purchase of the fence) noted that labs are particularly easy to
train
> because they want to please.
>
> Can you maybe arrange a weekend 'trial visit' with no strings -
"pet
> sitting" if you will. That way you'd get to see the dog in your
> environment. The shelter we got our lab from *requires* an
overnight
> 'trial' visit before they will finalize the adoption (even though
I knew
> right away that this was Our Dog, I complied and then went back
the next
> day they were open and did the paperwork).
>
> I'd also want to prep the kids ahead of time as to how to 'meet' a
new
> dog so there are no mishaps due to excitement - approaching
slowly, one
> hand out slightly palm down to allow the dog to sniff you before
you
> even touch the dog to start with. Don't raise your hand quickly
above
> the dogs head since they can't see there and might consider it a
threat
> (particularly if they've been smacked for misbehaving) - this is a
tough
> one because it seems everyone wants to just scratch a pup's head
or ears
> (it's SOOOOO soft there). It can be better to start with patting
the
> mid-back, the head and throat area are more likely to evoke
a 'threat'
> reaction than the middle of the back.
>
> Having a good family dog is really worth it (speaking as both a
person
> who always had a dog around growing up and now as a parent with a
family
> dog)
>
> Deb
>
>
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*
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> intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom
they
> are addressed. If you have received this email in error please
notify
> the system manager.
>
> This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept
by
> MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
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> CNC Software, Inc.
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>
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*
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Tonya Matthews

Thank you, Everyone, for all of your input.

I do want to let you know that the dog is with the dad of the owners
who had to give him up because of a move. He's not in rescue or
anything.

Honestly, we haven't really figured it out yet but I do appreciate all
of your very positive input.

Warm regards,
Tonya in MA

[email protected]

In a message dated 2/9/2007 9:38:05 PM Eastern Standard Time,
godzilla.matthews@... writes:
I do want to let you know that the dog is with the dad of the owners
who had to give him up because of a move. He's not in rescue or
anything



Hi Tonya,

Its taken me awhile to respond to this but here's a story. My kids had
begged for a dog for years. With the rabbits and fish and other critters we've
had, the responsibility for their care has always been up to me so I was sure I
didn't want to add a dog to the mix. One day last summer I saw an ad on
freecycle from a family who was desperate to find a loving home for their
kid-friendly, 4 year old black lab. After considering it for a few days, I responded to
the ad with a bunch of questions. The family had two young children (3 and
4) who loved the dog, rode on him etc. They were unable to keep the dog due to
their living situation. We went, just to meet the dog, that afternoon and
figured out from the appearance of things that these people were either about to
become homeless or were moving in with someone. The dog had not been to the
vet in years, had no rabies shots or heartworm tests, etc. He was a
beautiful, overweight black lab with a shabby coat and some serious, flaky excema. We
took him home. On the ride, he puked all over our van--his fat stomach was
full of grapes (he had been eating from their yard) and rock hard chunks of
Italian bread. They had no dog food or bowls or a leash for the dog. We
immediately brought him to the vet and he got caught up on his shots and got a clean
bill of health except that he weighed 88 lbs which was a bit overweight. He's
been with us since July and we have NO regrets. He warns us of any intruders
or passersby. My husband works odd hours so it has been very reassuring
having our watch dog here to let us know when someone is coming. He is very
protective of the children and I have no doubt that if a coyote came into the yard
(or anyone) he would kill to protect them. His one tragic flaw is that he
likes his freedom and does not come when we call him. Thanks to our dog whisperer
friend who has been helping us train him, he is doing better but not
completely. I still chase him around the neighborhood at least once a week but it
used to be ten times a day.

Here's the most telling story about how much we love this dog; his name is
Lucky. My three year old has never really had an indoor animal. When she was
born we had two cats but both met their demise in our yard with some coyotes so
she has had very limited interaction with cats and dogs. In the beginning
she was constantly torturing the dog, squeezing her arms tightly around his neck
and calling it hugging, yanking him around on the leash, pulling his tail and
so on. The worst thing she did was that she occasionally grabbed his penis,
the red, sensitive part that pops out (we call it his lipstick). He usually
yelped and we corrected her and told her that that was his private penis and
that it hurt him when it was touched. One night she got him good. We were all
sitting right there but nobody is exactly sure what she did to cause him to
yelp in pain and lash out at her. The dog bit her face, scraping his canine
teeth and his tiny front teeth across her cheek. We all freaked out and we found
a new home for the dog. The family that was planning to take Lucky needed a
week to prepare for his arrival so we agreed to keep him away from our three
year old until they could come for him. During that week I mourned the loss of
him and we realized we loved him so much (the kids and I cried daily about
parting with him) and that we would never find a dog that would be as perfect
for us as he was. We decided to give it another shot and be hyper vigilant when
the 3 year old was around him. It has been months since the bite and most
people think we were nuts to "sacrifice" our daughter's face and keep the dog,
but we have no regrets. The baby is completely healed (no scars) and the dog
is hers. He guards her 24/7 and sleeps at the foot of the bed/couch/hammock
wherever she is. She has learned to respect him and has not tried to grab his
penis or hurt him since his reaction.

Anyway Tonya, let your kids get the dog! I'd take a vote and agree to go
with what the majority decides. Kids (families) need dogs!

My alcoholic neighbor, a MA state trooper, used to lurk around our yard at
night. I'd find his cigarette butts in my driveway and would often smell smoke
wafting through the windows at night while my husband was working. We live
far enough from each other that we cannot smell his smoke or even hear each
other if we stay in our own yards. He has even been in our pool on hot summer
nights, drunk and without permission. He had become a liability and we installed
motion sensored lighting just for him. Since we got Lucky, he has stopped
lurking. Just another reason to have an alert dog around.

Go for it! What have you got to lose?

Love,
Robin


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]