m_srevatsa

My dd is currently trying out her strength by pushing, wrestling,
knocking us down. She would ask, "I am going to kick you. What will
happen?" - "well, i will save myself by defending just like this" - it
is just like a play. But sometimes, this week in special, she gets
angry for something and kicks, punches me. earlier she would cry and
express in words that she is upset. but now she started to scream at
the top of the voice and kick me, roll me down. I know she is trying
different ways of letting out her anger - but sometimes i lose being
calm and slowly talk in a very firm voice. So it is mostly my voice
that makes a difference - which I dont want to happen - i try to
explain aftermath that her being so hard in expressing her feelings
even though I am trying to understand her point, but slowly I too get
angry as I am physically challenged. I am not able to think any
further please help me. Malini

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], "m_srevatsa"
<m_srevatsa@...> wrote:
>I know she is trying
> different ways of letting out her anger - but sometimes i lose
being
> calm and slowly talk in a very firm voice.

And say what? There's nothing wrong with telling a child "I don't
like/want to be hit!"

Outside of the moment I'd look for other solutions to offer when
she's upset - would she like to hit something else? a pillow? a
doll? whack the bed with a bat or tennis racket? would she like to
throw something? Ask her if she has some ideas for what would help
her feel better when she's soooooo mad.

At the same time, its good to be on the lookout for patterns and
triggers - is there a way to make the situation better *before* she
gets to the meltdown point? Do you need to offer snacks more often
(that's my kids!) or offer to help her with things more? Is she
hearing a lot of "laters" and "waits" and "just a seconds"? Maybe
she's feeling her needs aren't being met or she isn't being heard
and is using physical force in an attempt to express that.

---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)