Re: correcting my daughter
kristenhendricks55
I'm going to straight shoot here... but if it were me... I would let
her call it a damn penguin if she wanted to.
I am all about letting kids pretend and explore.
So in my way of thinking... who are you to tell her shes wrong?
Unless you have thoroughly examined that statue... it could be a
reindeer in a moose costume- and then she would be RIGHT!
Okay, but all joking aside... I think at three years old (my dd is
three also) they are not in any hurry to know all the answers to
everything right now. If Kendall asks me "what is that statue of" I
would say "its a moose". If she tells me its a reindeer... well then
it's a reindeer. If she asks me how to spell a word, then I will
tell her. If she tells me that it is spelled a certain way... then I
say- Go on Girl... you spell it however YOU can read it!!
So anyway... if she says its a reindeer... then its a reindeer :)
--- In [email protected], Kendrah Nilsestuen
<carebear-79@...> wrote:
her call it a damn penguin if she wanted to.
I am all about letting kids pretend and explore.
So in my way of thinking... who are you to tell her shes wrong?
Unless you have thoroughly examined that statue... it could be a
reindeer in a moose costume- and then she would be RIGHT!
Okay, but all joking aside... I think at three years old (my dd is
three also) they are not in any hurry to know all the answers to
everything right now. If Kendall asks me "what is that statue of" I
would say "its a moose". If she tells me its a reindeer... well then
it's a reindeer. If she asks me how to spell a word, then I will
tell her. If she tells me that it is spelled a certain way... then I
say- Go on Girl... you spell it however YOU can read it!!
So anyway... if she says its a reindeer... then its a reindeer :)
--- In [email protected], Kendrah Nilsestuen
<carebear-79@...> wrote:
>a 3.5 y/o
> Hi Everyone,
> I'm fairly new here. I've only posted a couple times. I have
> daughter and a 9 month old son. I'm finding that i am having aif
> difficult time correcting my daughter about some things. Not sure
> this stems from constantly being corrected myself as a child. Letme
> give some examples. We go to a Wildlife Museum out here once aweek (we
> have a membership) walking up to the museum they have a hugestatue of
> a moose. My daughter since we have started going has called it areindeer"
> reindeer, i've always let her. She'll say "mommy look at the
> and i'll say "oh yeah look at that" or something to that affect.Well
> last week my dh came with us for the first time and shesaid "daddy
> look at the reindeer" to which he replied "well actually honeythat is
> a moose" to which she said as the excitement faded from herface "mama
> never says its a moose". I know i could correct her but i don't,she
> thinks its a reindeer and i let her. Another example happenedtoday-
> she knows her alphabet and is really getting interested inspelling
> words. She has those alphabet magnets for the fridge and said tome
> proudly "mama the word one starts with the letter P" to which ireplied
> "it does?" and she said yes. I didn't correct her. She is stillvery
> young and i don't want to crush her desire in things by constantlyhow to
> correcting them. These seem like such small things. So what if she
> thinks its a reindeer, what does it really matter? She'll learn
> spell the words someday, at three do i really need to be making abig
> deal about it? Her face lights up thinking its a reindeer,thinking
> that the word one starts with P seems to me that spark ofhappiness in
> her is what matters most. I'm new to US so i need some thoughtshere.
> Kendrah
>
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jan 10, 2007, at 1:04 AM, Kendrah Nilsestuen wrote:
a too serious aura around it so it seems even bigger.
Kids are used to the world changing from what they think it is. It's
a pretty much constant state of affairs for them!
I'd treat it a lot lighter. Rather than focusing on *her*, focus on
the delight of exploring together. Rather than saying some form of
"Oh, no, sweetie, that's not a reindeer, that's a moose," say, "Oh, I
think it might be a moose!" Because at anytime, at any point when you
think you're absolutely right, you could be wrong! Share the delight
of discovery together. :-)
For the letters I would have said in a light tone of sharing my
opinion, "It looks like an 'O' to me."
Joyce
> She has those alphabet magnets for the fridge and said to meI think you may be treating a problem that doesn't exist and creating
> proudly "mama the word one starts with the letter P" to which i
> replied
> "it does?" and she said yes. I didn't correct her. She is still very
> young and i don't want to crush her desire in things by constantly
> correcting them.
a too serious aura around it so it seems even bigger.
Kids are used to the world changing from what they think it is. It's
a pretty much constant state of affairs for them!
I'd treat it a lot lighter. Rather than focusing on *her*, focus on
the delight of exploring together. Rather than saying some form of
"Oh, no, sweetie, that's not a reindeer, that's a moose," say, "Oh, I
think it might be a moose!" Because at anytime, at any point when you
think you're absolutely right, you could be wrong! Share the delight
of discovery together. :-)
For the letters I would have said in a light tone of sharing my
opinion, "It looks like an 'O' to me."
Joyce
Ariannah Armstrong
kristenhendricks55 wrote:
I miss the days where she would sing, "You are my sunshine, my only
sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grapes". I accidentally sang
"grey" along with her grapes and she asked me why, and I said, "Oh
that's the way I am used to singing it, I guess" and she started saying
grey too.
Another favorite is, "Eeny meeny miney mo, Ketchup tiger by the toe"...
one day SHE said, "Mom, it's not 'ketchup', its CATCH A" She no longer
says "ketchup" unless it's preceded by "Please pass the". Ahh growing up.
Such a logical and literal child now too, but we always encourage her to
pretend... and if she really thinks one thing is another, I enjoy
letting her, as the older kids are too interested in "teaching" her what
it really is <grin>
Ariannah in Nova Scotia
--
"May we all have a vision now and then
Of a world where every neighbour is a friend"
Abba "Happy New Year" 1980
Personal Blog: http://ec.lecti.ca
> I'm going to straight shoot here... but if it were me... I would letI'm enjoying this more and more with my youngest daughter (Joanna, 5)
> her call it a damn penguin if she wanted to.
>
> I am all about letting kids pretend and explore.
I miss the days where she would sing, "You are my sunshine, my only
sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grapes". I accidentally sang
"grey" along with her grapes and she asked me why, and I said, "Oh
that's the way I am used to singing it, I guess" and she started saying
grey too.
Another favorite is, "Eeny meeny miney mo, Ketchup tiger by the toe"...
one day SHE said, "Mom, it's not 'ketchup', its CATCH A" She no longer
says "ketchup" unless it's preceded by "Please pass the". Ahh growing up.
Such a logical and literal child now too, but we always encourage her to
pretend... and if she really thinks one thing is another, I enjoy
letting her, as the older kids are too interested in "teaching" her what
it really is <grin>
Ariannah in Nova Scotia
--
"May we all have a vision now and then
Of a world where every neighbour is a friend"
Abba "Happy New Year" 1980
Personal Blog: http://ec.lecti.ca
plaidpanties666
> She'll say "mommy look at the reindeer"Well
> and i'll say "oh yeah look at that" or something to that affect.
> last week my dh came with us for the first time and shesaid "daddy
> look at the reindeer" to which he replied "well actually honeythat is
> a moose"There are lots of ways to share information and discovery in between
those two extremes. Depending on the child, you might say "does it
look like a reindeer to you? it looks like a moose, to me", or go a
different direction entirely and ask her some questions: how can she
tell it's a reindeer? or: does the statue make her think of Santa?
or: would you like to look at pictures of reindeer when we get home?
I don't mean ask her as though you were quizzing her, just friendly
chitchat. She might be happy to explore the subject further, or even
trying to initiate conversation.
> to which she said as the excitement faded from her face "mamaThat, right there, makes me wonder if she would like more
> never says its a moose".
information than what she's getting. Mo often makes statements
rather than asking questions, so I'm used to offering a little bit
more information just to find out if she's "fishing" as it were. I
could also see a curious child wondering *why* momma never mentioned
something that daddy brings up.
> to me that spark of happiness inI agree! Sometimes giving a little "more" can help a kid fan those
> her is what matters most.
sparks into passion.
I'd be a little gentle with your dh, too, when you talk with him
about this subject. He may be thinking that "dispensing accurate
information" is part of his job as a dad, so framing his desire to
do that as "correcting" may come across as a slam against his
parenting. It might be better to talk about facilitating exploration
and discovery - focus on the positive, not the negative. From that
perspective, comments to your dd like "do you think so? I think xyz"
(assuming she's receptive to that) will provide some modelling for
dh of a different way to communicate, too.
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
walker_unschool
Hey ya Kendrah
First off, welcome to the group!
This is a tough one for me, becuase I am very much the same way, so I
am jsut going to share what we did on this homefront. lol.. Instead
of "correcting" her about the reindeer, I would get a whole bunch of
books out of the library on reindeers, leave them strewed around the
house and when she goes to look at them she will realize in her own
mind, oh hey, its not a reindeer , then she will ask, "mom if its not
a reindeer becuase this is a reindeer, then what is it?" then you
can say, "well hun I think its a moose. lets get some books out on
that".
I dont "correct" my children unless I am asked to do so, for example,
if your daughter had asked "is that a reindeer?" you could say, "I
think its a moose. Lets look it up or ask one of the museum people" .
If she isnt asking you a question, then shes not asking you to
correct her. As for the letter P. I would say well the letter P makes
phhh (the sound of p lol), and one sounds whhh (sound of o lol) whats
your thoughts?
That way your not squashing her at all, your giving her the tools to
think deeper. If she chooses to look at you and say nope its a
P...then let her be, she has plenty of time to figure it all out.
cheers
sarah
First off, welcome to the group!
This is a tough one for me, becuase I am very much the same way, so I
am jsut going to share what we did on this homefront. lol.. Instead
of "correcting" her about the reindeer, I would get a whole bunch of
books out of the library on reindeers, leave them strewed around the
house and when she goes to look at them she will realize in her own
mind, oh hey, its not a reindeer , then she will ask, "mom if its not
a reindeer becuase this is a reindeer, then what is it?" then you
can say, "well hun I think its a moose. lets get some books out on
that".
I dont "correct" my children unless I am asked to do so, for example,
if your daughter had asked "is that a reindeer?" you could say, "I
think its a moose. Lets look it up or ask one of the museum people" .
If she isnt asking you a question, then shes not asking you to
correct her. As for the letter P. I would say well the letter P makes
phhh (the sound of p lol), and one sounds whhh (sound of o lol) whats
your thoughts?
That way your not squashing her at all, your giving her the tools to
think deeper. If she chooses to look at you and say nope its a
P...then let her be, she has plenty of time to figure it all out.
cheers
sarah
[email protected]
Hello -
I'm fairly new to unschoolingbasics, but I saw your post and had to
respond. I am exactly the same way with my two daughters - not
correcting them, enjoying their excitement - "right" answer or not. My
older daughter was unusually interested in letters and numbers from a
very young age. She could barely talk, but she could babytalk the
names of numbers and letters. One "mistake" she used to make was
turning her head upside-down and then calling a "W" an "M". It seemed
so absurd to me to be correcting a 15-month-old, so I'd just smile or
say "yay" or kind of mirror her excitement. If I would see a "W", I
would call it a "W", but I wouldn't make a point of doing it at all.
Well, all of those "mistakes" just were magically corrected by her,
without any coaching from me. And she literally learned how to read -
sounding words out and everything - beginning at the age of 2 1/2.
This also seemed to happen magically. All I had done up to that point
was read to her and answer her questions when she pointed to a word and
asked me what it said. She's now 5 1/2 and loves reading and learning.
That's really my goal - to make it fun and positive.
My younger daughter isn't quite as precocious as far as reading goes
(she's just 2 1/2 now), but she is very aware and observant and verbal,
and the not correcting thing seems to work really well with her, too.
The moose/reindeer thing would be a good example in which I would just
let it go - who really cares, after all? Interestingly, my older
daughter "goes along" with that, too - she won't "correct" her little
sister. Perhaps she somehow remembers and appreciates being treated
that way when she was little!
Good luck to you -
Michele
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I'm fairly new to unschoolingbasics, but I saw your post and had to
respond. I am exactly the same way with my two daughters - not
correcting them, enjoying their excitement - "right" answer or not. My
older daughter was unusually interested in letters and numbers from a
very young age. She could barely talk, but she could babytalk the
names of numbers and letters. One "mistake" she used to make was
turning her head upside-down and then calling a "W" an "M". It seemed
so absurd to me to be correcting a 15-month-old, so I'd just smile or
say "yay" or kind of mirror her excitement. If I would see a "W", I
would call it a "W", but I wouldn't make a point of doing it at all.
Well, all of those "mistakes" just were magically corrected by her,
without any coaching from me. And she literally learned how to read -
sounding words out and everything - beginning at the age of 2 1/2.
This also seemed to happen magically. All I had done up to that point
was read to her and answer her questions when she pointed to a word and
asked me what it said. She's now 5 1/2 and loves reading and learning.
That's really my goal - to make it fun and positive.
My younger daughter isn't quite as precocious as far as reading goes
(she's just 2 1/2 now), but she is very aware and observant and verbal,
and the not correcting thing seems to work really well with her, too.
The moose/reindeer thing would be a good example in which I would just
let it go - who really cares, after all? Interestingly, my older
daughter "goes along" with that, too - she won't "correct" her little
sister. Perhaps she somehow remembers and appreciates being treated
that way when she was little!
Good luck to you -
Michele
________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
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across the web, free AOL Mail and more.
Vanessa
I don't see any reason to correct your daughter either. If she
thinks it's a reindeer, than it's a reindeer. She is still young,
and the magic is still in her. Enjoy it while it's there. Besides,
maybe it really is a reindeer dressed as a moose . <BG>
thinks it's a reindeer, than it's a reindeer. She is still young,
and the magic is still in her. Enjoy it while it's there. Besides,
maybe it really is a reindeer dressed as a moose . <BG>
--- In [email protected], deweymdewey@... wrote:
>
> Hello -
>
> I'm fairly new to unschoolingbasics, but I saw your post and had
to
> respond. I am exactly the same way with my two daughters - not
> correcting them, enjoying their excitement - "right" answer or
not. My
> older daughter was unusually interested in letters and numbers
from a
> very young age. She could barely talk, but she could babytalk the
> names of numbers and letters. One "mistake" she used to make was
> turning her head upside-down and then calling a "W" an "M". It
seemed
> so absurd to me to be correcting a 15-month-old, so I'd just smile
or
> say "yay" or kind of mirror her excitement. If I would see a "W",
I
> would call it a "W", but I wouldn't make a point of doing it at
all.
> Well, all of those "mistakes" just were magically corrected by
her,
> without any coaching from me. And she literally learned how to
read -
> sounding words out and everything - beginning at the age of 2
1/2.
> This also seemed to happen magically. All I had done up to that
point
> was read to her and answer her questions when she pointed to a
word and
> asked me what it said. She's now 5 1/2 and loves reading and
learning.
> That's really my goal - to make it fun and positive.
>
> My younger daughter isn't quite as precocious as far as reading
goes
> (she's just 2 1/2 now), but she is very aware and observant and
verbal,
> and the not correcting thing seems to work really well with her,
too.
> The moose/reindeer thing would be a good example in which I would
just
> let it go - who really cares, after all? Interestingly, my older
> daughter "goes along" with that, too - she won't "correct" her
little
> sister. Perhaps she somehow remembers and appreciates being
treated
> that way when she was little!
>
> Good luck to you -
> Michele
>
>
>
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