Deb Lewis

***Think about what you are saying - you want newbies to sit back and take
it
all in and not ask questions or ponder our thoughts aloud. ***

For coming up on three years I've thought carefully about what I post to
this list.
And I didn't ask all new members to stop posting. I asked newer members to
post less and read more.

Some newer members have posted many times to the list and in not very clear
or well thought out ways. I'm asking that they consider reading more and
posting less. It's a suggestion, made as kindly as possible, with the
smooth operation of the list in mind. It's only a useful list to the most
people when we all think carefully about what we're posting.

***Being an US-er, I would think one would welcome all questions. ***

We are always happy to answer questions about how unschooling works and
questions about how specific situations might be handled by unschoolers. We
don't have a responsibility to listen to the wild fears and rantings of
people who don't want to think very hard. We're always trying to find
ways to give good, clear, thoughtful answers to questions about unschooling.

***That's like
telling your child - "now, don't talk - just listen to Dad and me talk
- you'll pick it up eventually. When you have listened long enough
(you'll know when), then you can chime in" ... Sounds a bit
ridiculous, doesn't it?***

The people posting here aren't children. They are grown adults who found
their way here out of what I hope is an interest in learning about
unschooling. And since this is a place to become familiar with the basics
of unschooling, by asking questions, yes, and by reading, it is the goal of
this list to offer advice that is consistent with the unschooling
philosophy. Many posts by new people cannot and have not been doing that.
Advice to be afraid of candy or chipmunks or whatever other personal boogie
man an individual may have is not good unschooling advice. Questions
about how to manage, cope with, or get rid of personal boogie men are
welcome.

Deb Lewis
moderator

alisonslp

Deb,

Thanks for the expansion. Your request makes a lot more sense now...

alison

Ariannah Armstrong

Thank you Deb,

That makes sense. I actually lurked and read *every* post (with a huge
head nod several times, sitting on my hands to avoid posting a silly "I
agree!" to a post months old haha), even dug back into the archives, for
weeks and weeks, and then made an introduction. Many of the posts
resonated with me like being reunited with parts of my own mindset again.

We live our lifestyle with joy and positivity and grace and beauty, and
fear just doesn't enter into the picture. So in any lifestyle, be it
sugar-free, meat-free, scent-free, environmentally conscious or
less-wasteful or consumeristic, or whatever... for US, the clear
definition is in how we *live*, does it give us joy? Or do *we* feel
deprived and like we're missing out? And do we *behave* like *we* are
clearly deprived and are trying really hard to restrict? Abundance is a
mindset we've adopted, and we live a life of joy, gratitude and
friendship to others.

I know people who are older and bitter about not having this or that or
the other thing, so I have sometimes either taken money and bought
people something they were hankering for or found a good deal on it, and
been able to give it to them anonymously (if I could, as that is my
belief in giving, that it not be about *me* but about the other person),
and they don't have *joy*... they're not satisfied. We choose to
celebrate the positive and the joy in life, and help other people (if we
can) who have plenty of reason to feel hurt and sad.

Our kids still do get sugar, but they get very little of it from our
house simply because we live in a neighbourhood where their friends
consume a very high amount of sugar. I buy a 1kg (2kg?) bag of white
sugar and a 1kg bag of "brown sugar", and our children are free to make
cookies/cakes whenever they want, but they rarely feel like it. We just
don't even think of anything we do as "missing out" or anything. It's
joyful and abundant :)

And our children enjoy it, and that's what unschooling is all about,
from the many posts I read here and in the shine with unschooling group,
the joy of celebrating children!

All the best to everyone, and I'll enjoy continuing to read, and post
where I can join in the conversation :)
This group is very welcoming, and is a joy to participate in.

Ariannah in Nova Scotia