Wildflower Car

I have noticed several post, even my own, starting to be somewhat hostile.

Just a suggestion that I'm going to take.

We are on here to help and encourage one another in unschooling. Any open
constructive criticism should be taken as just that. Anything said in anger
should be ignored or taken to private conversation.

I personally appreciate the frank discussions we have. One thing I try to
remember to do is close the post with a friendly signature or note in hopes
that it will be taken as just that.

We aren't assembly line people and we don't all think the same thing. What a
beautiful thing!


Much Love!
Wildflower

_________________________________________________________________
From photos to predictions, The MSN Entertainment Guide to Golden Globes has
it all. http://tv.msn.com/tv/globes2007/?icid=nctagline1

Ren Allen

~~Anything said in anger
should be ignored or taken to private conversation.~~

Please don't take it to private conversation in anger. Please don't
take it to private conversation unless both parties are willing for
it. I had a member emailed in a very hostile manner recently and I
really do NOT think that is a helpful thing to do, nor should anyone
have to deal with offlist emails unless they want to engage in that.

Also, rather than telling the list how to post, just post in the
manner you believe is most helpful. When posts start giving advice to
other people about how to post, that is a meta-discussion and that
isn't something we want on the list.

Thanks!

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Brian & Alexandra Polikowsky

I write directly and short because I don't have time and have an eleven month old baby walking and am super busy. I apologize if it "sounds" rude. Not my intention. I am just giving it straight.
I was once in the same "mind set" as some of the posters here. I have come along way because of people that gave it to me straight.
Thank you for the ones who challenged my previous ideas of parenting and made me get closer to unschooling and a better mom.
Alex

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Alice Roddy

Alex wrote:


�I write directly and short because I don't have time and
have an eleven month old baby walking and am super busy. I apologize if it
"sounds" rude. Not my intention. I am just giving it straight.�





Alex, this makes perfect sense to me. I�m retired and don�t
have the excuse of a small baby and I still say things that sound rude or
unpleasant to others. I don�t always anticipate how things will sound to other
people. Sometimes words have different connotations for them than for me.





I think that those who perceive some messages as hostile are
not feeling entirely safe here. They may become defensive and hesitate to post
in the future for fear what they say won�t be taken well and that they will be
criticized, even attacked.





Here�s the paradox: we want our children to feel
unconditionally accepted. If we say things to each other on this list that come
across as rude, is it possible that we also say rude things to our children?
How can we be sure? So I think it is valuable feedback to learn that some are
finding hostility in some messages. And that it�s worth asking what our
messages here may reveal about our messages in other venues.





I�m striving (but don�t always achieve) to first convey
respect. If it�s clear I respect the person I�m dealing with I think they will
feel safe dealing with me and see I just offering a different perspective, not
attacking them.





What do you think?





Gramma Alice
Breastfeeding is the biological norm for infants. It is a relationship that provides food, connection, protection from illness to the baby and stress reducing hormones to the mother.



__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Brian & Alexandra Polikowsky

First of all this has become a meta-post and is not allowed.
Second- I do no think I or anyone else has been disrespectful
Third- I am typing with one hand now nursing my baby- she takes priority
over me typing.

It is not the poster's fault if people get defensive because their ideas
have been challenged as this is a discussion list.
Lets keep talkind and moving towards unschooling-I am sure someone is
getting a lot out of this exchnge of posts/ideas.
Sincerely,
Alex
----- Original Message -----
From: "Alice Roddy" <amar0514412000@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, January 08, 2007 7:47 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Hostility on the Group?!?!




Alex wrote:


"I write directly and short because I don't have time and
have an eleven month old baby walking and am super busy. I apologize if it
"sounds" rude. Not my intention. I am just giving it straight."





Alex, this makes perfect sense to me. I'm retired and don't
have the excuse of a small baby and I still say things that sound rude or
unpleasant to others. I don't always anticipate how things will sound to
other
people. Sometimes words have different connotations for them than for me.





I think that those who perceive some messages as hostile are
not feeling entirely safe here. They may become defensive and hesitate to
post
in the future for fear what they say won't be taken well and that they will
be
criticized, even attacked.





Here's the paradox: we want our children to feel
unconditionally accepted. If we say things to each other on this list that
come
across as rude, is it possible that we also say rude things to our children?
How can we be sure? So I think it is valuable feedback to learn that some
are
finding hostility in some messages. And that it's worth asking what our
messages here may reveal about our messages in other venues.





I'm striving (but don't always achieve) to first convey
respect. If it's clear I respect the person I'm dealing with I think they
will
feel safe dealing with me and see I just offering a different perspective,
not
attacking them.





What do you think?





Gramma Alice
Breastfeeding is the biological norm for infants. It is a relationship that
provides food, connection, protection from illness to the baby and stress
reducing hormones to the mother.



__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




Yahoo! Groups Links

Ren Allen

~~If we say things to each other on this list that come across as rude,~~

What one person finds rude, another finds amusing or straight-forward,
or??
It's not a list designed to discuss how we post, in fact people who do
so will find themselves on moderation. And now I'm bordering on
meta-discussion myself, so let's move on with the unschooling
discussion shall we?

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

kristenhendricks55

I think when you read something online you automatically assign a
tone to that you are reading. And then when a word of phrase comes
up that may not be hostile at all, the tone you are assuming the
poster is making it seem more than what it really is.

I was given a good piece of advice from a friend of mine...

When you are in a discussion or even a disagreement with someone you
do not know online... imagine your best friend saying the words you
are reading with a smile on her face.

It helps :)

--- In [email protected], Alice Roddy
<amar0514412000@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> Alex wrote:
>
>
> "I write directly and short because I don't have time and
> have an eleven month old baby walking and am super busy. I
apologize if it
> "sounds" rude. Not my intention. I am just giving it straight."
>
>
>
>
>
> Alex, this makes perfect sense to me. I'm retired and don't
> have the excuse of a small baby and I still say things that sound
rude or
> unpleasant to others. I don't always anticipate how things will
sound to other
> people. Sometimes words have different connotations for them than
for me.
>
>
>
>
>
> I think that those who perceive some messages as hostile are
> not feeling entirely safe here. They may become defensive and
hesitate to post
> in the future for fear what they say won't be taken well and that
they will be
> criticized, even attacked.
>
>
>
>
>
> Here's the paradox: we want our children to feel
> unconditionally accepted. If we say things to each other on this
list that come
> across as rude, is it possible that we also say rude things to our
children?
> How can we be sure? So I think it is valuable feedback to learn
that some are
> finding hostility in some messages. And that it's worth asking
what our
> messages here may reveal about our messages in other venues.
>
>
>
>
>
> I'm striving (but don't always achieve) to first convey
> respect. If it's clear I respect the person I'm dealing with I
think they will
> feel safe dealing with me and see I just offering a different
perspective, not
> attacking them.
>
>
>
>
>
> What do you think?
>
>
>
>
>
> Gramma Alice
> Breastfeeding is the biological norm for infants. It is a
relationship that provides food, connection, protection from illness
to the baby and stress reducing hormones to the mother.
>
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Wildflower Car

What is a meta-post?

_________________________________________________________________
The MSN Entertainment Guide to Golden Globes is here. Get all the scoop.
http://tv.msn.com/tv/globes2007/?icid=nctagline2

Joanne

In [email protected], "Wildflower Car"
<unschoolfool@...> wrote:
>>>What is a meta-post?>>>>

**copied from the group guidelines**

1) No discussions will be allowed about posts. This is called a "meta-
discussion" (discussing the discussion) and posts analyzing another
person's post or posting style will be rejected and the member put on
moderation. If there is something about a post that bothers you, stick
to discussing the ideas presented, rather than the post itself.

walker_unschool

Well, first off lets take a look at the title of the
list....UNschoolingbasics...that to me means that the majority of the
people on this list are new to the lifestyle of life learning and
therefor should have some patience with themselves and with other
people. The other part of the list are people who have been LIVING
this lifestyle for some time and quite frankly know what their
talking about. Not everything can be coloured gold, some things are
going to come across harsh when your first learning about them, but
take a deep breath and realize that all comments are one persons
perspective of whats going on AND maybe harsh is what you need to
make you REALLY GET unschooling. Alot of people call themselves
unschoolers but dont truly GET IT, and most people who have been
living this lifestyle for awhile and can look back and think of THE
moment when they DID GET IT. I urge everyone to just take a step back
before you go barking up a tree beucase everything has another side.
There is no need to get your panties in a knot becuase someone
disagrees with you...we all have the ability to raise our own
children the way we see fit. What people are trying to do however is
give you tools to bring you closer to the unschooling lifestlye that
you claim you want to live. People who have lived it, walked the
walk, do know what their talking about. In most cases. anyway,
everyone doesnt have to agree all the time, thats the great thing
about being a human bean!
cheers
sarah