Pacifiers... how old is too old?
April
I really don't ever post on this board, but I lurk ALOT :). I have a
question about my DS. He's 5.5 yo and still sleeps with a paci. He'd
use it all day if I kept it out (when he wakes up in the morn, I put
it up). During the day, when there's no paci, he chews on ANYTHING he
can find, cloth, paper, blankets, his denim jacket. So theres some
kind of an oral need? What's going on?
The reason I'm posting this here is because on most boards/lists the
reply would be to "just take it away". But I know that your
answers/suggestions will focus more on the why and *whether* or not I
should "just take it away".
Have any of you had similar experiences with your little ones? I have
to tell you that among those I know irl, this predicament is unique ;).
Thank you!!
April
question about my DS. He's 5.5 yo and still sleeps with a paci. He'd
use it all day if I kept it out (when he wakes up in the morn, I put
it up). During the day, when there's no paci, he chews on ANYTHING he
can find, cloth, paper, blankets, his denim jacket. So theres some
kind of an oral need? What's going on?
The reason I'm posting this here is because on most boards/lists the
reply would be to "just take it away". But I know that your
answers/suggestions will focus more on the why and *whether* or not I
should "just take it away".
Have any of you had similar experiences with your little ones? I have
to tell you that among those I know irl, this predicament is unique ;).
Thank you!!
April
Nicole Willoughby
April, It will either be late tonight or tomorrow before I can e-mail you but no, youre not the only one :) Please DONT just take it away.
DH is on lunch break right now and is about to have to take his computer back but Ill have some suggestions for you later.
Nicole
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DH is on lunch break right now and is about to have to take his computer back but Ill have some suggestions for you later.
Nicole
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
KARA CASSIDY
My 3 year old does the same thing he also grinds his teeth if he does not have it so I to would be interested in what others say my mother tells me to just throw it away but I am worried about the effect it will have on him.
----- Original Message -----
From: April<mailto:aprilsmapril@...>
To: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, January 02, 2007 4:48 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Pacifiers... how old is too old?
I really don't ever post on this board, but I lurk ALOT :). I have a
question about my DS. He's 5.5 yo and still sleeps with a paci. He'd
use it all day if I kept it out (when he wakes up in the morn, I put
it up). During the day, when there's no paci, he chews on ANYTHING he
can find, cloth, paper, blankets, his denim jacket. So theres some
kind of an oral need? What's going on?
The reason I'm posting this here is because on most boards/lists the
reply would be to "just take it away". But I know that your
answers/suggestions will focus more on the why and *whether* or not I
should "just take it away".
Have any of you had similar experiences with your little ones? I have
to tell you that among those I know irl, this predicament is unique ;).
Thank you!!
April
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
camden
Hi April,
You definitely are not the only one. My dd (adopted at the age of 18months) didn't have a pacifier but has always sucked on her tongue. Not her thumb but her tongue. When she first came here, she actually made major teeth marks on her tongue. I actually had never heard of anyone sucking their tongue ;)
She is now 11 and still does it. I think when she was a baby her bottle/paci was taken away way too early & this was her substitute. I think as long as they need it, let them have it. It drives my dh insane when she does it & will say "Please stop doing that" . I try & tell him she doesn't do it on purpose just to drive him crazy ~ sometimes he takes things so personally <g>. I know its something she does subconsciously, mostly when she is upset about something or is really concentrating on something she is doing.
Carol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You definitely are not the only one. My dd (adopted at the age of 18months) didn't have a pacifier but has always sucked on her tongue. Not her thumb but her tongue. When she first came here, she actually made major teeth marks on her tongue. I actually had never heard of anyone sucking their tongue ;)
She is now 11 and still does it. I think when she was a baby her bottle/paci was taken away way too early & this was her substitute. I think as long as they need it, let them have it. It drives my dh insane when she does it & will say "Please stop doing that" . I try & tell him she doesn't do it on purpose just to drive him crazy ~ sometimes he takes things so personally <g>. I know its something she does subconsciously, mostly when she is upset about something or is really concentrating on something she is doing.
Carol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christy Mahoney
My dd just turned 7, and she still chews on things a lot - mostly
her blanket and sleeves. She never used a pacifier, as she has
always been a thumb sucker. She still sucks her thumb occasionally
during the day, but only when she's having a little rest with her
blanket or something, and she sucks it at night when falling
asleep. Not that I control it in any way. She just never sucks her
thumb unless she's holding her blanket.
I don't know that there's much you should (or can) do really. Like
you said, he will find things to chew on. I would say yes, there is
a need there. Is there some reason it's a problem, or were you just
wondering if there were other kids who do this? My older daughter
also sucked her thumb, but she stopped at around age 5.
-Christy M.
--- In [email protected], "April" <aprilsmapril@...>
wrote:
her blanket and sleeves. She never used a pacifier, as she has
always been a thumb sucker. She still sucks her thumb occasionally
during the day, but only when she's having a little rest with her
blanket or something, and she sucks it at night when falling
asleep. Not that I control it in any way. She just never sucks her
thumb unless she's holding her blanket.
I don't know that there's much you should (or can) do really. Like
you said, he will find things to chew on. I would say yes, there is
a need there. Is there some reason it's a problem, or were you just
wondering if there were other kids who do this? My older daughter
also sucked her thumb, but she stopped at around age 5.
-Christy M.
--- In [email protected], "April" <aprilsmapril@...>
wrote:
>a
> I really don't ever post on this board, but I lurk ALOT :). I have
> question about my DS. He's 5.5 yo and still sleeps with a paci.He'd
> use it all day if I kept it out (when he wakes up in the morn, Iput
> it up). During the day, when there's no paci, he chews on ANYTHINGhe
> can find, cloth, paper, blankets, his denim jacket. So theres somethe
> kind of an oral need? What's going on?
>
> The reason I'm posting this here is because on most boards/lists
> reply would be to "just take it away". But I know that yournot I
> answers/suggestions will focus more on the why and *whether* or
> should "just take it away".have
>
> Have any of you had similar experiences with your little ones? I
> to tell you that among those I know irl, this predicament isunique ;).
>
> Thank you!!
> April
>
alisonslp
April,
Have you tried offering substitutes during the day, like chewing gum?
I'm a speech therapist and work with some children who have big oral
needs. Sometimes offering chewy and crunchy foods throughout the day (
bagels, thick pretzels) helps to quench their mouthing needs. Also,
having those rubber scrunchy key chains (the spiral ones that you can
wear on your wrist) or small pieces (6 inches) of aquarium tubing
available for the times when he has the need to chew. For most kids,
pacifiers just become a habit and they don't want to part with them,
but in your son's case, he is showing that he has a physical oral
need, as he's trying to substitute the paci. when he doesn't have it.
alison
Have you tried offering substitutes during the day, like chewing gum?
I'm a speech therapist and work with some children who have big oral
needs. Sometimes offering chewy and crunchy foods throughout the day (
bagels, thick pretzels) helps to quench their mouthing needs. Also,
having those rubber scrunchy key chains (the spiral ones that you can
wear on your wrist) or small pieces (6 inches) of aquarium tubing
available for the times when he has the need to chew. For most kids,
pacifiers just become a habit and they don't want to part with them,
but in your son's case, he is showing that he has a physical oral
need, as he's trying to substitute the paci. when he doesn't have it.
alison
Suzanne
Carol,
My son (now 12) has sucked hid tongue since the day he was born. He
"wouldn't" take a pacifier and just preferred his tongue. It was easy for
me so I didn't fight it.
Blessings, Suzanne
Married to the "Love of my life"; blessed with nine wonderful children.
"Blessings come in a number of ways. The Lord doesn't give you what you want
- the Lord gives you what you need". ~ Eric Davis
For info on Discovery Toys email <mailto:psalm63@...>
psalm63@....
For Website Design/Hosting and Promotional/Printed Products contact
<http://www.plscorporate.com> www.plscorporate.com.
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of camden
Sent: Tuesday, January 02, 2007 6:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Pacifiers... how old is too old?
Hi April,
You definitely are not the only one. My dd (adopted at the age of 18months)
didn't have a pacifier but has always sucked on her tongue. Not her thumb
but her tongue. When she first came here, she actually made major teeth
marks on her tongue. I actually had never heard of anyone sucking their
tongue ;)
She is now 11 and still does it. I think when she was a baby her bottle/paci
was taken away way too early & this was her substitute. I think as long as
they need it, let them have it. It drives my dh insane when she does it &
will say "Please stop doing that" . I try & tell him she doesn't do it on
purpose just to drive him crazy ~ sometimes he takes things so personally
<g>. I know its something she does subconsciously, mostly when she is upset
about something or is really concentrating on something she is doing.
Carol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My son (now 12) has sucked hid tongue since the day he was born. He
"wouldn't" take a pacifier and just preferred his tongue. It was easy for
me so I didn't fight it.
Blessings, Suzanne
Married to the "Love of my life"; blessed with nine wonderful children.
"Blessings come in a number of ways. The Lord doesn't give you what you want
- the Lord gives you what you need". ~ Eric Davis
For info on Discovery Toys email <mailto:psalm63@...>
psalm63@....
For Website Design/Hosting and Promotional/Printed Products contact
<http://www.plscorporate.com> www.plscorporate.com.
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of camden
Sent: Tuesday, January 02, 2007 6:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Pacifiers... how old is too old?
Hi April,
You definitely are not the only one. My dd (adopted at the age of 18months)
didn't have a pacifier but has always sucked on her tongue. Not her thumb
but her tongue. When she first came here, she actually made major teeth
marks on her tongue. I actually had never heard of anyone sucking their
tongue ;)
She is now 11 and still does it. I think when she was a baby her bottle/paci
was taken away way too early & this was her substitute. I think as long as
they need it, let them have it. It drives my dh insane when she does it &
will say "Please stop doing that" . I try & tell him she doesn't do it on
purpose just to drive him crazy ~ sometimes he takes things so personally
<g>. I know its something she does subconsciously, mostly when she is upset
about something or is really concentrating on something she is doing.
Carol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Priscilla
--- In [email protected], "April" <aprilsmapril@...>
wrote:
...... my DS. He's 5.5 yo and still sleeps with a paci......
April,
Pacifier, thumb, whatever, it's all self comforting behavior. DD13.5
still sucks her thumb when no one is looking and she's tired or
stressed. I think it was Berry Brazelton, the child psychologist, that
said something like "braces are cheaper than therapy". When I was
really worried about it when dd was 6 or 7, LOTS of MOMS told me they
had sucked their thumb til they were 16! If you take the paci away,
the self comforting paci might be replaced with a behavior you (or
other adults) find much more unacceptable. You would also be telling
your child that they are not good enough and that they don't know what
they want and need. Besides, how are the adults who think your child
should dump the paci comforting THEMSELVES???.... with alcohol,
cigarettes?? Stick up for you child's right to do what they need to do
to cope. The stress over it will only cause them to have more to cope
with!
Priscilla
wrote:
...... my DS. He's 5.5 yo and still sleeps with a paci......
April,
Pacifier, thumb, whatever, it's all self comforting behavior. DD13.5
still sucks her thumb when no one is looking and she's tired or
stressed. I think it was Berry Brazelton, the child psychologist, that
said something like "braces are cheaper than therapy". When I was
really worried about it when dd was 6 or 7, LOTS of MOMS told me they
had sucked their thumb til they were 16! If you take the paci away,
the self comforting paci might be replaced with a behavior you (or
other adults) find much more unacceptable. You would also be telling
your child that they are not good enough and that they don't know what
they want and need. Besides, how are the adults who think your child
should dump the paci comforting THEMSELVES???.... with alcohol,
cigarettes?? Stick up for you child's right to do what they need to do
to cope. The stress over it will only cause them to have more to cope
with!
Priscilla
Alice Roddy
I�m afraid that there is a good reason to discourage
extensive use of a pacifier: muscles can pull bones out of shape. At one time
there was a website put together by a dentist, Dr. Brian Palmer, who did a good
deal of research on this topic. I don�t know whether it is still up but it
would be worth looking for. It seems that a pacifier has enough substance so
that the muscles of the mouth in order to accommodate it pull the bones out of
alignment, creating dental and other problems. I seem to recall Dr Palmer
saying that these abnormalities are so common now in the age of bottles and
pacifiers that many dentists don�t even realize that they are not normal. I
wince when I see a mother pop a pacifier into the mouth of a quiet and
contented baby in anticipation of later need.
What you can do about a 5.5 yr old who is very much attached
to his pacifier, I don�t know. Long, long before I read Dr Palmer, I let my son
use a pacifier until it finally wore out. He rejected the new ones I bought
because they didn�t have the old, comfortable feel in his mouth. He was 3 or
maybe 4.
April, you wrote: �when there's no paci, he chews on
ANYTHING he can find, cloth, paper, blankets, his denim jacket. So there�s some
kind of an oral need? What's going on?� I think you are asking the right
question when you look for the cause of the behavior (beyond simply being a
habit), the oral need. What does he say?
Presumably he�s sucking or mouthing things for comfort. I�m
sure you�ve considered stresses in his life that would make him seek comfort
but could there be some imperceptible problem, such as an allergy or bone
misalignment, that makes him uncomfortable?
Good luck in sleuthing and let us know how things work out.
Gramma Alice
Breastfeeding is the biological norm for infants. It is a relationship that provides food, connection, protection from illness to the baby and stress reducing hormones to the mother.
__________________________________________________
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Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
extensive use of a pacifier: muscles can pull bones out of shape. At one time
there was a website put together by a dentist, Dr. Brian Palmer, who did a good
deal of research on this topic. I don�t know whether it is still up but it
would be worth looking for. It seems that a pacifier has enough substance so
that the muscles of the mouth in order to accommodate it pull the bones out of
alignment, creating dental and other problems. I seem to recall Dr Palmer
saying that these abnormalities are so common now in the age of bottles and
pacifiers that many dentists don�t even realize that they are not normal. I
wince when I see a mother pop a pacifier into the mouth of a quiet and
contented baby in anticipation of later need.
What you can do about a 5.5 yr old who is very much attached
to his pacifier, I don�t know. Long, long before I read Dr Palmer, I let my son
use a pacifier until it finally wore out. He rejected the new ones I bought
because they didn�t have the old, comfortable feel in his mouth. He was 3 or
maybe 4.
April, you wrote: �when there's no paci, he chews on
ANYTHING he can find, cloth, paper, blankets, his denim jacket. So there�s some
kind of an oral need? What's going on?� I think you are asking the right
question when you look for the cause of the behavior (beyond simply being a
habit), the oral need. What does he say?
Presumably he�s sucking or mouthing things for comfort. I�m
sure you�ve considered stresses in his life that would make him seek comfort
but could there be some imperceptible problem, such as an allergy or bone
misalignment, that makes him uncomfortable?
Good luck in sleuthing and let us know how things work out.
Gramma Alice
Breastfeeding is the biological norm for infants. It is a relationship that provides food, connection, protection from illness to the baby and stress reducing hormones to the mother.
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~My older daughter
also sucked her thumb, but she stopped at around age 5.~~
I have one child that sucked his thumb until age 11ish, one that never
sucked anything (other than the breast), one that still sucks her
thumb occasionally at night and youngest that never sucked anything
other than the breast either, but didn't self-wean until age 4.:)
I think it's VERY natural for most children to need something to suck
on until age 6-8, and some kids before or after that range. Other
children need something in their mouths regardless of the need to
suck, I notice Jalen wanting to chew on things occasionally even
though he's never had a thumb or pacifier.
I believe in a child's right to bodily autonomy. I don't believe
anyone should force a child to give up a paci, thumb or any other
self-comforting tool. I agree wholeheartedly with Priscilla that
dental work is a lot cheaper than a psychiatrist!!
If my child isn't harming another person or themselves, I just can't
see the point in trying to re-channel the behavior. Quit taking the
paci away during the daytime, trust that he needs it! I wouldn't like
it if someone took my tea away because they decided I drank too much
each day. It feels a lot worse for a child that needs to comfort
themselves to have that item removed.
The only reason parents typically feel the need to remove those items,
is societal pressure. I say we owe our children, not the rest of
society and they deserve to be protected from any of that pressure.
Oh, and my long-term thumbsuckers have very straight teeth btw.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
also sucked her thumb, but she stopped at around age 5.~~
I have one child that sucked his thumb until age 11ish, one that never
sucked anything (other than the breast), one that still sucks her
thumb occasionally at night and youngest that never sucked anything
other than the breast either, but didn't self-wean until age 4.:)
I think it's VERY natural for most children to need something to suck
on until age 6-8, and some kids before or after that range. Other
children need something in their mouths regardless of the need to
suck, I notice Jalen wanting to chew on things occasionally even
though he's never had a thumb or pacifier.
I believe in a child's right to bodily autonomy. I don't believe
anyone should force a child to give up a paci, thumb or any other
self-comforting tool. I agree wholeheartedly with Priscilla that
dental work is a lot cheaper than a psychiatrist!!
If my child isn't harming another person or themselves, I just can't
see the point in trying to re-channel the behavior. Quit taking the
paci away during the daytime, trust that he needs it! I wouldn't like
it if someone took my tea away because they decided I drank too much
each day. It feels a lot worse for a child that needs to comfort
themselves to have that item removed.
The only reason parents typically feel the need to remove those items,
is societal pressure. I say we owe our children, not the rest of
society and they deserve to be protected from any of that pressure.
Oh, and my long-term thumbsuckers have very straight teeth btw.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
jlh44music
My dd is 14, rejected pacifiers when an infant, had trouble latching
on to the breast (combined with flat nipples, she never did),
rejected most nipples on bottles (finally found a really bulbous
one), and used it until she was 3 or 4 (at night mostly, then we
found a sippy cup top to replace the nipple in the bottle so she
still held the bottle). She's always been very oral, it caused
problems in day care because she would put things in her mouth (or
one time it was a paperclip that was on the floor) etc. I didn't
know it then but looking back I realize she was comforting herself
with whatever the item was by holding it in her mouth, moving it
around, it was something she could control herself.
She still chews on things, her finger nails (she has none) paper,
soda can pop tops (although she's worked hard to stop after
discussing it with the dentist and how it's chipping her teeth), raw
spagetti (she goes through phases of needing to crunch and eat tons
of it!), and especially GUM. We always try to have gum, she needs to
be moving her mouth.
Two things that I've learned about how and that have helped are that
she's a Highly Sensitive Person (book by same name, also Highly
Sensitive Child) http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Elaine-
Aron/dp/0553062182/sr=8-1/qid=1167792506/ref=pd_bbs_1/105-0812726-
6393259?ie=UTF8&s=books
website www.hsperson.com
as well as another book that talks about Visual Spatial Learners
where I found some things that have helped me understand her as
well "Upside-Down Brilliance...." by Linda Silverman
http://www.amazon.com/Upside-Down-Brilliance-Visual-Spatial-
Learner/dp/193218600X/sr=1-1/qid=1167792635/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-
0812726-6393259?ie=UTF8&s=books (NOTE: it sometimes goes out of
stock, and doesn't cost $44 new! someone is just being greedy)
website www.visualspatial.org
NOT trying to suggest labels, only sharing what I'VE been through
(we've only found unschooling in the past couple of years), things I
wish I had known back at the beginning of her life. It would have
saved me many, many hours of pain and anguish because I didn't
understand. I've read MANY, many books, some of which didn't help,
some that did. I take what works and leave the rest.
Jann
on to the breast (combined with flat nipples, she never did),
rejected most nipples on bottles (finally found a really bulbous
one), and used it until she was 3 or 4 (at night mostly, then we
found a sippy cup top to replace the nipple in the bottle so she
still held the bottle). She's always been very oral, it caused
problems in day care because she would put things in her mouth (or
one time it was a paperclip that was on the floor) etc. I didn't
know it then but looking back I realize she was comforting herself
with whatever the item was by holding it in her mouth, moving it
around, it was something she could control herself.
She still chews on things, her finger nails (she has none) paper,
soda can pop tops (although she's worked hard to stop after
discussing it with the dentist and how it's chipping her teeth), raw
spagetti (she goes through phases of needing to crunch and eat tons
of it!), and especially GUM. We always try to have gum, she needs to
be moving her mouth.
Two things that I've learned about how and that have helped are that
she's a Highly Sensitive Person (book by same name, also Highly
Sensitive Child) http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Elaine-
Aron/dp/0553062182/sr=8-1/qid=1167792506/ref=pd_bbs_1/105-0812726-
6393259?ie=UTF8&s=books
website www.hsperson.com
as well as another book that talks about Visual Spatial Learners
where I found some things that have helped me understand her as
well "Upside-Down Brilliance...." by Linda Silverman
http://www.amazon.com/Upside-Down-Brilliance-Visual-Spatial-
Learner/dp/193218600X/sr=1-1/qid=1167792635/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-
0812726-6393259?ie=UTF8&s=books (NOTE: it sometimes goes out of
stock, and doesn't cost $44 new! someone is just being greedy)
website www.visualspatial.org
NOT trying to suggest labels, only sharing what I'VE been through
(we've only found unschooling in the past couple of years), things I
wish I had known back at the beginning of her life. It would have
saved me many, many hours of pain and anguish because I didn't
understand. I've read MANY, many books, some of which didn't help,
some that did. I take what works and leave the rest.
Jann
Ren Allen
~~At one time there was a website put together by a dentist, Dr. Brian
Palmer, who did a good deal of research on this topic. ~~
There's plenty of research to refute that too. There's "research"
that dentists spout off, without much thought. Including how terrible
long-term thumb sucking is for the mouth. I know several long-term
thumbsuckers in my life (9-13 years of age) and only one had any kind
of malformation of the mouth. Interestingly enough, her sister had the
same buck teeth and overbite and never sucked her thumb. My own sister
sucked until close to teen years and has perfect teeth, never had
braces like me who stopped at five! Two of my children sucked the
thumb long-term and have straight teeth, so whatever.
I think a lot of what they attribute to thumb or paci sucking is just
genetics. If not, I reiterate my point that dental work is cheaper
than counseling or psychiatric treatment!!
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Palmer, who did a good deal of research on this topic. ~~
There's plenty of research to refute that too. There's "research"
that dentists spout off, without much thought. Including how terrible
long-term thumb sucking is for the mouth. I know several long-term
thumbsuckers in my life (9-13 years of age) and only one had any kind
of malformation of the mouth. Interestingly enough, her sister had the
same buck teeth and overbite and never sucked her thumb. My own sister
sucked until close to teen years and has perfect teeth, never had
braces like me who stopped at five! Two of my children sucked the
thumb long-term and have straight teeth, so whatever.
I think a lot of what they attribute to thumb or paci sucking is just
genetics. If not, I reiterate my point that dental work is cheaper
than counseling or psychiatric treatment!!
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Nicole Willoughby
People have posted a lot of what I was going to say already :) I have an autistic son who has a major oral need. He constantly puts everything in his mouth including rocks!
The only reason I quit giving him paci's is that I can find one that he dosent bite the nipple part off of the day he gets it and Im afraid of choking.
My 7 year old also has a huge oral need. She has chosen to go to school and is having a hard time handling it but wants to say . The things we do to help fill the oral need are.........
Ill bring her a milk shake at lunch that she will drink through a straw, we put aquarium tubing on the end of her pencil to chew on, and lots of hard candy and gum . She says the sucking and chewing helps calm her.
However since your son ( Im assuming) isnt going to school and dosent seem to want to quit the paci why not let him have it?
If other people have a problem with your son's paci use its their issue that they need to deal with :)
Nicole
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The only reason I quit giving him paci's is that I can find one that he dosent bite the nipple part off of the day he gets it and Im afraid of choking.
My 7 year old also has a huge oral need. She has chosen to go to school and is having a hard time handling it but wants to say . The things we do to help fill the oral need are.........
Ill bring her a milk shake at lunch that she will drink through a straw, we put aquarium tubing on the end of her pencil to chew on, and lots of hard candy and gum . She says the sucking and chewing helps calm her.
However since your son ( Im assuming) isnt going to school and dosent seem to want to quit the paci why not let him have it?
If other people have a problem with your son's paci use its their issue that they need to deal with :)
Nicole
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julie
Hi--
My ds is 7 and sucks and chews all sorts of things. He's doing it
right now as I type and he's reading over my shoulder---which is very
exciting for me because his reading is pretty brand new around
here. :)
But I wouldn't worry about the paci. I believe there's some studies
on sucking and brain developement and that connection. Maybe it was
La Leche League where I heard it from? It's worth a look. Maybe your
dh would appreciate that line of investigation.
My partner said something interesting right now (as we are all
talking about this as I write)...he said there *is* no age limit for
sucking a pacifier, the limit is when or if damage occurs---and it
may never occur, as others have pointed out. And as far as the social
aspect to it--our society is truly unfriendly towards ANY kind of
self care or nurturing, so it'd be up to you to...what's the
word?..protect/help/guide your son so that he can navigate any
potential flak given by relatives or whatever. And continue to suck
his paci if he wants to.
ok...I've been working all day, my family's hankering for my
attention..gotta go. :)
~~Julie.
My ds is 7 and sucks and chews all sorts of things. He's doing it
right now as I type and he's reading over my shoulder---which is very
exciting for me because his reading is pretty brand new around
here. :)
But I wouldn't worry about the paci. I believe there's some studies
on sucking and brain developement and that connection. Maybe it was
La Leche League where I heard it from? It's worth a look. Maybe your
dh would appreciate that line of investigation.
My partner said something interesting right now (as we are all
talking about this as I write)...he said there *is* no age limit for
sucking a pacifier, the limit is when or if damage occurs---and it
may never occur, as others have pointed out. And as far as the social
aspect to it--our society is truly unfriendly towards ANY kind of
self care or nurturing, so it'd be up to you to...what's the
word?..protect/help/guide your son so that he can navigate any
potential flak given by relatives or whatever. And continue to suck
his paci if he wants to.
ok...I've been working all day, my family's hankering for my
attention..gotta go. :)
~~Julie.
Schuyler
I had a boyfriend who at 22 was still sucking his thumb. Whenever he got
stressed or upset and he was in a private place he'd suck his thumb and rub
his nose. It was very cute, in that way that your first real boyfriend doing
anything can be. It didn't hinder him from anything, he was socially very
gifted. And I imagine now that he is in his 40's he may still suck his
thumb.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
stressed or upset and he was in a private place he'd suck his thumb and rub
his nose. It was very cute, in that way that your first real boyfriend doing
anything can be. It didn't hinder him from anything, he was socially very
gifted. And I imagine now that he is in his 40's he may still suck his
thumb.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ren Allen" <starsuncloud@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 3:56 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Pacifiers... how old is too old?
> ~~At one time there was a website put together by a dentist, Dr. Brian
> Palmer, who did a good deal of research on this topic. ~~
>
>
> There's plenty of research to refute that too. There's "research"
> that dentists spout off, without much thought. Including how terrible
> long-term thumb sucking is for the mouth. I know several long-term
> thumbsuckers in my life (9-13 years of age) and only one had any kind
> of malformation of the mouth. Interestingly enough, her sister had the
> same buck teeth and overbite and never sucked her thumb. My own sister
> sucked until close to teen years and has perfect teeth, never had
> braces like me who stopped at five! Two of my children sucked the
> thumb long-term and have straight teeth, so whatever.
>
> I think a lot of what they attribute to thumb or paci sucking is just
> genetics. If not, I reiterate my point that dental work is cheaper
> than counseling or psychiatric treatment!!
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
Schuyler
I should add that I took Simon's pacifier away from him when he was almost
4. I've always said it was because we couldn't find any pacifiers in Japan,
and that was true (although we did find a few a couple of months later) but
I could have gotten my mom or dad to send some from the U.S. I didn't like
them. And so he found other things to suck. He doesn't suck anything now at
9. But he needed at almost 4 and I didn't make room for that. I decided that
it wasn't important enough, or that it was wrong and made me look like a
bad, indulging mother. If I were the mother then that I am now, he'd have
pacifiers until he was done with them.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
4. I've always said it was because we couldn't find any pacifiers in Japan,
and that was true (although we did find a few a couple of months later) but
I could have gotten my mom or dad to send some from the U.S. I didn't like
them. And so he found other things to suck. He doesn't suck anything now at
9. But he needed at almost 4 and I didn't make room for that. I decided that
it wasn't important enough, or that it was wrong and made me look like a
bad, indulging mother. If I were the mother then that I am now, he'd have
pacifiers until he was done with them.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Schuyler" <s.waynforth@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 1:07 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Pacifiers... how old is too old?
> I had a boyfriend who at 22 was still sucking his thumb. Whenever he got
> stressed or upset and he was in a private place he'd suck his thumb and
> rub
> his nose. It was very cute, in that way that your first real boyfriend
> doing
> anything can be. It didn't hinder him from anything, he was socially very
> gifted. And I imagine now that he is in his 40's he may still suck his
> thumb.
>
> Schuyler
> www.waynforth.blogspot.com
April
--- In [email protected], "jlh44music"
<jlh44music@...> wrote:
gum as well... I'm just glad to know others do this.
<jlh44music@...> wrote:
>Wow.. that's interesting to know, Ds5 LOVES raw spaghetti, paper and
> She still chews on things, her finger nails (she has none) paper,
> soda can pop tops (although she's worked hard to stop after
> discussing it with the dentist and how it's chipping her teeth), raw
> spagetti (she goes through phases of needing to crunch and eat tons
> of it!), and especially GUM. We always try to have gum, she needs to
> be moving her mouth.
gum as well... I'm just glad to know others do this.
April
I DO appreciate all of the well thought out answers!! So much more
helpful than I would have received elsewhere. The main reason it's
even an issue is the hole he's chewed in his jacket (a BIG hole :))
and the holes in our throw blankets. I think I'll just start free
access to his paci and see if it doesn't help.
I'm also going to check out those websites for highly sensitive
people, thanks!!
The thing is, I had a paci until I was 6 (nighttime only, but
still...) and gave it up myself, I have no oral issues now, so maybe
that's why.
*sigh*, I'm going to have to have a "talk" with DH now :P lol.
Thank you thank you!!
helpful than I would have received elsewhere. The main reason it's
even an issue is the hole he's chewed in his jacket (a BIG hole :))
and the holes in our throw blankets. I think I'll just start free
access to his paci and see if it doesn't help.
I'm also going to check out those websites for highly sensitive
people, thanks!!
The thing is, I had a paci until I was 6 (nighttime only, but
still...) and gave it up myself, I have no oral issues now, so maybe
that's why.
*sigh*, I'm going to have to have a "talk" with DH now :P lol.
Thank you thank you!!
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "April" <aprilsmapril@...>
wrote:
nearly 40. I have some "teething rings" around here that I try to
keep by the computer for this reason - saves my nails and keeps me
from snacking just to have something to do with my mouth. My 5yr old
keeps taking them, though. She's not a big chewer, but they're
pretty, so she uses them for jewelry.
My mom used to tear the corners off paper and chew on them (among
other things). My brother and I had a standing joke - my Mom ate my
homework! So I guess its one of those odd-ball genetic things.
I'd look for a variety of things for him to chew and keep them
handy.
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
wrote:
>>During the day, when there's no paci, he chews on ANYTHING heEspecially if I'm sitting down, I love to chew on things, and I'm
> can find, cloth, paper, blankets, his denim jacket. So theres some
> kind of an oral need? What's going on?
nearly 40. I have some "teething rings" around here that I try to
keep by the computer for this reason - saves my nails and keeps me
from snacking just to have something to do with my mouth. My 5yr old
keeps taking them, though. She's not a big chewer, but they're
pretty, so she uses them for jewelry.
My mom used to tear the corners off paper and chew on them (among
other things). My brother and I had a standing joke - my Mom ate my
homework! So I guess its one of those odd-ball genetic things.
I'd look for a variety of things for him to chew and keep them
handy.
---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)
Meridith Richardson
What does everyone think of growth charts? Ihave a 5
yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even a
smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
height. I am 5'5".
Meridith
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yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even a
smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
height. I am 5'5".
Meridith
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jlh44music
>jlh44music@> wrote:soda can pop tops (although she's worked hard to stop after
> She still chews on things, her finger nails (she has none) paper,
discussing it with the dentist and how it's chipping her teeth), raw
spagetti (she goes through phases of needing to crunch and eat tons
of it!), and especially GUM. We always try to have gum, she needs to
be moving her mouth.>
aprilsmapril wrote:
>> Wow.. that's interesting to know, Ds5 LOVES raw spaghetti, paperand gum as well... I'm just glad to know others do this.>>
She was actually chomping on spaghetti when I wrote that last night!
Wish I had known this long ago, which is why I shared.(it wasn't
limited to those items, it was many a small toy in years past, the
neck of her tee shirts were constantly in her mouth and ended up with
holes, nothing was exempt! I've forgotten a lot of it to be
honest!). The first 6 years of her life were awful for her, because
I didn't know about the highly senstitive temperament and didn't
always know what to do to help, it's just who she IS (and dh too!).
It's helped me be able to handle the "differences" (from me!) so much
better. And it's lessened as she's gotten older, but I think the
need will always be part of her. As long as she keeps it safe etc
(keeping things out that chip her teeth!).
Jann
Christy Mahoney
Oh, I should have mentioned that my oldest dd who stopped sucking her
thumb at age 5 has been chewing on straws ever since then. I buy a
box of bendy straws every week when I shop. They're cheap, like 50
cents a box. She uses the plastic cups from restaurants, and always
has a cup of water with a straw. They used to get completely chewed
up, and I would just replace the straw (and the water) throughout the
day. Now she's almost 12, and the straws aren't so chewed up anymore.
-Christy M.
*And I used to love uncooked spaghetti. And my mom used to crunch on
ice all day.
thumb at age 5 has been chewing on straws ever since then. I buy a
box of bendy straws every week when I shop. They're cheap, like 50
cents a box. She uses the plastic cups from restaurants, and always
has a cup of water with a straw. They used to get completely chewed
up, and I would just replace the straw (and the water) throughout the
day. Now she's almost 12, and the straws aren't so chewed up anymore.
-Christy M.
*And I used to love uncooked spaghetti. And my mom used to crunch on
ice all day.
>
[email protected]
My physician doesn't use growth charts. As long as we know we are providing them with a healthy diet, and they clearly are growing then everything is fine. I don't know if this is true for growth charts today but I do know that for many years the growth charts were based on a study of an Ohio town in the 1950's. At that time in our history and still common today, different ethnic groups tended to live in the same neighborhoods. The Ohio town in the study was primarily caucasian with the same racial heritage (I don't remember what heritage). So when you are in the 25th percentile, your child is the same size as 25% of the children in "whiteville", Ohio in the 1950's.
Mindy
-----Original Message-----
From: ruttegar@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, 3 Jan 2007 11:17 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Growth Charts
What does everyone think of growth charts? Ihave a 5
yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even a
smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
height. I am 5'5".
Meridith
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Mindy
-----Original Message-----
From: ruttegar@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, 3 Jan 2007 11:17 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Growth Charts
What does everyone think of growth charts? Ihave a 5
yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even a
smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
height. I am 5'5".
Meridith
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mtc
My understanding is that as long as a child is above the 3rd, everything is
fine. There's a lot of room for variability.
--Tom C.
fine. There's a lot of room for variability.
--Tom C.
On 1/3/07, Meridith Richardson <ruttegar@...> wrote:
>
> What does everyone think of growth charts? Ihave a 5
> yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even a
> smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
> height. I am 5'5".
> Meridith
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Weyd
My 8 1/2 year old daughter is 41 lbs., not sure about the height, but she is extremely short. Believe it or not (and I won't bore everyone with the long story) I actually got accused of starving her. Yes, I was turned into social services. She is adopted first off. Hubby and I took her to a top notch Pediatric Endocrynologist who went to bat for us. He said "There is nothing wrong with this child." He said not only does the blood work prove she is healthy, but look at her beautiful skin and hair.......she would not have those if you were starving her. We proved to the state that our child was healthy and just fine. The thing that pissed me off so bad is my daughter is not even skinny, thin & petite yes, skinny no. But they looked at this little tiny kid and assumed something must be wrong. Our daughter is not even anywhere close to being on the chart. Her birth mother is 4'9" and the Endo said that our daughter will also be about the same height as her birth
mother. My daughter is also hispanic with a birth mother from Mexico. My kid is always gonna be a peanut, but she is fine. She does not need growth hormones or anything like that. So if you ask me growth charts are just a tool, but not always an accurate tool. You have to consider ethnic background, genetics, etc. I look at all the little chinese girls being adopted from China. There is no way you can use a standard growth chart with them.
Kelly
Meridith Richardson <ruttegar@...> wrote:
What does everyone think of growth charts? Ihave a 5
yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even a
smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
height. I am 5'5".
Meridith
__________________________________________________
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mother. My daughter is also hispanic with a birth mother from Mexico. My kid is always gonna be a peanut, but she is fine. She does not need growth hormones or anything like that. So if you ask me growth charts are just a tool, but not always an accurate tool. You have to consider ethnic background, genetics, etc. I look at all the little chinese girls being adopted from China. There is no way you can use a standard growth chart with them.
Kelly
Meridith Richardson <ruttegar@...> wrote:
What does everyone think of growth charts? Ihave a 5
yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even a
smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
height. I am 5'5".
Meridith
__________________________________________________
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Manisha Kher
25 percentile means that 25% of kids are shorter than
her. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, there's
nothing wrong with whatever percentile, including 3.
Growth charts are good for tracking progress. But
that's all. Nobody should pay any attention to what
percentile the child is in, as long as he/she is
growing and is healthy.
Manisha
--- Meridith Richardson <ruttegar@...> wrote:
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her. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, there's
nothing wrong with whatever percentile, including 3.
Growth charts are good for tracking progress. But
that's all. Nobody should pay any attention to what
percentile the child is in, as long as he/she is
growing and is healthy.
Manisha
--- Meridith Richardson <ruttegar@...> wrote:
> What does everyone think of growth charts? Ihave amailto:[email protected]
> 5
> yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even a
> smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
> height. I am 5'5".
> Meridith
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
> protection around
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>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> (Yahoo! ID required)
>
>
>__________________________________________________
>
>
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Meridith Richardson
Thanks!
--- mtc <ensign.tom@...> wrote:
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--- mtc <ensign.tom@...> wrote:
> My understanding is that as long as a child is above__________________________________________________
> the 3rd, everything is
> fine. There's a lot of room for variability.
>
> --Tom C.
>
> On 1/3/07, Meridith Richardson <ruttegar@...>
> wrote:
> >
> > What does everyone think of growth charts? Ihave
> a 5
> > yr old girl who isin the 25 percentile (maybe even
> a
> > smidge under. Is this ok? My husband and I are avg
> > height. I am 5'5".
> > Meridith
> >
> >
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
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alisonslp
--- In [email protected], JAROCKI9@... wrote:
cross section of the nation, including ethnic backgrounds and feeding
preferences, though I'm sure it's not perfectly representative. The
CDC was trying to put together another set of charts for long-term
nursing infants, as they tend to gain weight differently than formula
fed babies, but the charts haven't been made yet. Still, the new 2000
charts (you can get them on the CDC website) take in a larger number
of breastfed babies - somewhere around 25%, I think.
The best way of using growth charts is over time. It's not where a
child is at a particular point. It's more important that the child is
following a particular curve across time and that the child isn't
crossing two percentiles in a short time (either up or down). Of
course, there are always exceptions - alot of small babies might make
a huge leap in growth, which is their natural genetic tendency. Same
with larger that average babies from birth (partic. true in babies of
moms with gestational diabetes.
25% is fine. Not everyone can be perfectly at 50%, nor would you want
it that way. Another thing to watch for is that the weight and height
are within one percentile of each other. If there is a big gap (95th
weight, 25th height) then the drs. will be more watchful of a pattern...
alison
>Actually, the growth charts were re-done in 2000 and are a greater
> I don't know if this is true for growth charts today but I do know
>that for many years the growth charts were based on a study of an
>Ohio town in the 1950's. At that time in our history and still
>common today, different ethnic groups tended to live in the same
>neighborhoods. The Ohio town in the study was primarily caucasian
>with the same racial heritage (I don't remember what heritage).
cross section of the nation, including ethnic backgrounds and feeding
preferences, though I'm sure it's not perfectly representative. The
CDC was trying to put together another set of charts for long-term
nursing infants, as they tend to gain weight differently than formula
fed babies, but the charts haven't been made yet. Still, the new 2000
charts (you can get them on the CDC website) take in a larger number
of breastfed babies - somewhere around 25%, I think.
The best way of using growth charts is over time. It's not where a
child is at a particular point. It's more important that the child is
following a particular curve across time and that the child isn't
crossing two percentiles in a short time (either up or down). Of
course, there are always exceptions - alot of small babies might make
a huge leap in growth, which is their natural genetic tendency. Same
with larger that average babies from birth (partic. true in babies of
moms with gestational diabetes.
25% is fine. Not everyone can be perfectly at 50%, nor would you want
it that way. Another thing to watch for is that the weight and height
are within one percentile of each other. If there is a big gap (95th
weight, 25th height) then the drs. will be more watchful of a pattern...
alison
Meridith Richardson
Wow, what a great amount of info! My daughter weight
is also in the same percentile, so she is
proportionate. I guess I will try not to dwell on
things. Everyone always says how cute and small she
is etc. So I measured her and looked up the CDC
charts. Guess I need to stop obsessing. She used to
be in the 95th percentile as an infant through about
18months. But then grew slower and slower. BUt DOES
grow. She is healthy and had bloodwork at her last
visit so I guess I need to just stop obsessing!! :)
Thanks so much,
Meridith
--- alisonslp <alisonslp@...> wrote:
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is also in the same percentile, so she is
proportionate. I guess I will try not to dwell on
things. Everyone always says how cute and small she
is etc. So I measured her and looked up the CDC
charts. Guess I need to stop obsessing. She used to
be in the 95th percentile as an infant through about
18months. But then grew slower and slower. BUt DOES
grow. She is healthy and had bloodwork at her last
visit so I guess I need to just stop obsessing!! :)
Thanks so much,
Meridith
--- alisonslp <alisonslp@...> wrote:
> --- In [email protected],__________________________________________________
> JAROCKI9@... wrote:
> >
> > I don't know if this is true for growth charts
> today but I do know
> >that for many years the growth charts were based on
> a study of an
> >Ohio town in the 1950's. At that time in our
> history and still
> >common today, different ethnic groups tended to
> live in the same
> >neighborhoods. The Ohio town in the study was
> primarily caucasian
> >with the same racial heritage (I don't remember
> what heritage).
>
> Actually, the growth charts were re-done in 2000 and
> are a greater
> cross section of the nation, including ethnic
> backgrounds and feeding
> preferences, though I'm sure it's not perfectly
> representative. The
> CDC was trying to put together another set of charts
> for long-term
> nursing infants, as they tend to gain weight
> differently than formula
> fed babies, but the charts haven't been made yet.
> Still, the new 2000
> charts (you can get them on the CDC website) take in
> a larger number
> of breastfed babies - somewhere around 25%, I think.
>
>
> The best way of using growth charts is over time.
> It's not where a
> child is at a particular point. It's more important
> that the child is
> following a particular curve across time and that
> the child isn't
> crossing two percentiles in a short time (either up
> or down). Of
> course, there are always exceptions - alot of small
> babies might make
> a huge leap in growth, which is their natural
> genetic tendency. Same
> with larger that average babies from birth (partic.
> true in babies of
> moms with gestational diabetes.
>
> 25% is fine. Not everyone can be perfectly at 50%,
> nor would you want
> it that way. Another thing to watch for is that the
> weight and height
> are within one percentile of each other. If there is
> a big gap (95th
> weight, 25th height) then the drs. will be more
> watchful of a pattern...
>
> alison
>
>
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woodhaven_farm
My ds has had his own little line off the growth chart since birth.
He looks "normal" to me, but apparently his head measures smaller
then his peers or something, whatever! Doesn't seem to mean much when
I buy him a bike hat, lol!
He jumps around in other areas too. At his last visit the nurse went
nuts because "he had not grown enough!" He went from the 95 th
percentile to the 70th in height (odd - he is really tall), yet his
weight went from the 20 th to the 50th (uh - he is really skinny). He
grew 4.5 inches and lost 2 pounds from his 3 year old checkup. The
doctor said he was great.
The next week we went to WIC and they (well the lady we had) went
nuts that my kid was too skinny. Mind you she measured him an inch
taller and three pounds heavier then the dr. I started to leave when
they wanted to take ds's blood dispite his wellness review from the
dr, but he consented to the prick. That person thought he was in
great shape and his hemocrit was great. Still the other lady began to
lecture me about his diet. She did not care that his doctor said he
was a perfect weight and build. He was in the at risk range on her
growth chart and required intervention! I told her what the dr said
again, and she told me very mater of factly that she had a growth
chart that compared all of the children in my state and he was only
in the 20th percentile or some crap. She went on to explain
percentiles to me. I explained to her that I simply could not help it
if the other kids in my state were fat, and maybe she should be more
worried about childhood obesity.
Also, according to the groth charts I was supposed to be 5'11 +. Well
I have been 5'6 since I was 11.
If your kid looks and acts healthy I wouldn't sweat it.
He looks "normal" to me, but apparently his head measures smaller
then his peers or something, whatever! Doesn't seem to mean much when
I buy him a bike hat, lol!
He jumps around in other areas too. At his last visit the nurse went
nuts because "he had not grown enough!" He went from the 95 th
percentile to the 70th in height (odd - he is really tall), yet his
weight went from the 20 th to the 50th (uh - he is really skinny). He
grew 4.5 inches and lost 2 pounds from his 3 year old checkup. The
doctor said he was great.
The next week we went to WIC and they (well the lady we had) went
nuts that my kid was too skinny. Mind you she measured him an inch
taller and three pounds heavier then the dr. I started to leave when
they wanted to take ds's blood dispite his wellness review from the
dr, but he consented to the prick. That person thought he was in
great shape and his hemocrit was great. Still the other lady began to
lecture me about his diet. She did not care that his doctor said he
was a perfect weight and build. He was in the at risk range on her
growth chart and required intervention! I told her what the dr said
again, and she told me very mater of factly that she had a growth
chart that compared all of the children in my state and he was only
in the 20th percentile or some crap. She went on to explain
percentiles to me. I explained to her that I simply could not help it
if the other kids in my state were fat, and maybe she should be more
worried about childhood obesity.
Also, according to the groth charts I was supposed to be 5'11 +. Well
I have been 5'6 since I was 11.
If your kid looks and acts healthy I wouldn't sweat it.