My rant
Maisha Khalfani
Bright blessings -
I don't post as much as I'd like to, but I'm always reading the posts, and challenging my own assumptions about being a parent and an adult.
I just wanted to share with you all something that I wrote on my blog. A lot has clicked for me lately, living with my mother and sister in law....they are not child friendly AT ALL. They are down right abusive. And if there was anyplace else for us to stay we would have been there already. So we've decided to send Safiya and Dakari to stay with my mom in NYC for a few weeks. She's wanted them to come and visit and my children love her sooo much (she's the 'good' grandma). Rohana, who gets the totality of the bad treatment from my inlaws, will go and stay with a friend of hers. Jabari, the two young ones, and I will remain at my inlaws. Once again, our family will be split up....but not for long. I'm sure having 3 of my children away from me willl make me REALLY appreciate them all when we are together again. Anyway.....here's my "rant" from my blog. I hope it helps those of you who are teetering on the fence of ru, cl, and any other letters of the alphabet
that are shorthand for living joyfully and in freedom (thanks Ren and Joyce) with your children:
"I'm so anxious to learn more about living joyfully and parenting unconditionally.....this living situation is definitely testing the boundaries of my patience, and I feel like I'm failing miserably. My children....I love them more now than I did yesterday. Little pieces of the Universe in my care.....they are so special, so pure....and their souls have entrusted me to guide them through this life. I will not let them down. I will do what is necessary. I will sacrifice and die 'unto myself' that they will live and have life. Isn't that the message of all organized religions? I digress.....my children mean more to me than my own life. And I firmly believe that living consensually and joyfully and radically unschooling is the path for us - there's no doubt in my mind....I have been convinced - I am a convert. Now comes the hard part....putting into practice the ideals that I hold so highly now. Catching myself at my weak moments. Delving into my own soul to dig up my dirt,
hold it up to the light and analyze it. I have to if I'm to move forward, and allow my children to be who they are to be. I love them more than my hurt and pain. I love them more than my desire to look like a "good mother" in others eyes. I love them more than my shortcomings. And I will grow in this path."
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I don't post as much as I'd like to, but I'm always reading the posts, and challenging my own assumptions about being a parent and an adult.
I just wanted to share with you all something that I wrote on my blog. A lot has clicked for me lately, living with my mother and sister in law....they are not child friendly AT ALL. They are down right abusive. And if there was anyplace else for us to stay we would have been there already. So we've decided to send Safiya and Dakari to stay with my mom in NYC for a few weeks. She's wanted them to come and visit and my children love her sooo much (she's the 'good' grandma). Rohana, who gets the totality of the bad treatment from my inlaws, will go and stay with a friend of hers. Jabari, the two young ones, and I will remain at my inlaws. Once again, our family will be split up....but not for long. I'm sure having 3 of my children away from me willl make me REALLY appreciate them all when we are together again. Anyway.....here's my "rant" from my blog. I hope it helps those of you who are teetering on the fence of ru, cl, and any other letters of the alphabet
that are shorthand for living joyfully and in freedom (thanks Ren and Joyce) with your children:
"I'm so anxious to learn more about living joyfully and parenting unconditionally.....this living situation is definitely testing the boundaries of my patience, and I feel like I'm failing miserably. My children....I love them more now than I did yesterday. Little pieces of the Universe in my care.....they are so special, so pure....and their souls have entrusted me to guide them through this life. I will not let them down. I will do what is necessary. I will sacrifice and die 'unto myself' that they will live and have life. Isn't that the message of all organized religions? I digress.....my children mean more to me than my own life. And I firmly believe that living consensually and joyfully and radically unschooling is the path for us - there's no doubt in my mind....I have been convinced - I am a convert. Now comes the hard part....putting into practice the ideals that I hold so highly now. Catching myself at my weak moments. Delving into my own soul to dig up my dirt,
hold it up to the light and analyze it. I have to if I'm to move forward, and allow my children to be who they are to be. I love them more than my hurt and pain. I love them more than my desire to look like a "good mother" in others eyes. I love them more than my shortcomings. And I will grow in this path."
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~ I love them more than my hurt and pain. I love them more than my
desire to look like a "good mother" in others
eyes. I love them more than my shortcomings. And I will grow in this
path."~~
I really, really love this.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Maisha...it's been inspirational to
read about your journey into Radical Unschooling.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
desire to look like a "good mother" in others
eyes. I love them more than my shortcomings. And I will grow in this
path."~~
I really, really love this.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Maisha...it's been inspirational to
read about your journey into Radical Unschooling.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Tricia Mccay
Thank You Maisha,
Because of reading your post I have decided that yes, I can do this!
You give me inspiration with each and every post you send.
Thank you for being apart of this group.
I very rarely post but I read for hours here
and at other sites every day,looking for ways to better myself as a parent.
I do not express myself well in an email and so I don't usually post unless I am desperate for help,but I felt that I must let you know how much I appreciate your posts and how much they help me in my walk with my kids.
Tricia
Maisha Khalfani <maitai373@...> wrote: Bright blessings -
I don't post as much as I'd like to, but I'm always reading the posts, and challenging my own assumptions about being a parent and an adult.
I just wanted to share with you all something that I wrote on my blog. A lot has clicked for me lately, living with my mother and sister in law....they are not child friendly AT ALL. They are down right abusive. And if there was anyplace else for us to stay we would have been there already. So we've decided to send Safiya and Dakari to stay with my mom in NYC for a few weeks. She's wanted them to come and visit and my children love her sooo much (she's the 'good' grandma). Rohana, who gets the totality of the bad treatment from my inlaws, will go and stay with a friend of hers. Jabari, the two young ones, and I will remain at my inlaws. Once again, our family will be split up....but not for long. I'm sure having 3 of my children away from me willl make me REALLY appreciate them all when we are together again. Anyway.....here's my "rant" from my blog. I hope it helps those of you who are teetering on the fence of ru, cl, and any other letters of the alphabet
that are shorthand for living joyfully and in freedom (thanks Ren and Joyce) with your children:
"I'm so anxious to learn more about living joyfully and parenting unconditionally.....this living situation is definitely testing the boundaries of my patience, and I feel like I'm failing miserably. My children....I love them more now than I did yesterday. Little pieces of the Universe in my care.....they are so special, so pure....and their souls have entrusted me to guide them through this life. I will not let them down. I will do what is necessary. I will sacrifice and die 'unto myself' that they will live and have life. Isn't that the message of all organized religions? I digress.....my children mean more to me than my own life. And I firmly believe that living consensually and joyfully and radically unschooling is the path for us - there's no doubt in my mind....I have been convinced - I am a convert. Now comes the hard part....putting into practice the ideals that I hold so highly now. Catching myself at my weak moments. Delving into my own soul to dig up my dirt,
hold it up to the light and analyze it. I have to if I'm to move forward, and allow my children to be who they are to be. I love them more than my hurt and pain. I love them more than my desire to look like a "good mother" in others eyes. I love them more than my shortcomings. And I will grow in this path."
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Because of reading your post I have decided that yes, I can do this!
You give me inspiration with each and every post you send.
Thank you for being apart of this group.
I very rarely post but I read for hours here
and at other sites every day,looking for ways to better myself as a parent.
I do not express myself well in an email and so I don't usually post unless I am desperate for help,but I felt that I must let you know how much I appreciate your posts and how much they help me in my walk with my kids.
Tricia
Maisha Khalfani <maitai373@...> wrote: Bright blessings -
I don't post as much as I'd like to, but I'm always reading the posts, and challenging my own assumptions about being a parent and an adult.
I just wanted to share with you all something that I wrote on my blog. A lot has clicked for me lately, living with my mother and sister in law....they are not child friendly AT ALL. They are down right abusive. And if there was anyplace else for us to stay we would have been there already. So we've decided to send Safiya and Dakari to stay with my mom in NYC for a few weeks. She's wanted them to come and visit and my children love her sooo much (she's the 'good' grandma). Rohana, who gets the totality of the bad treatment from my inlaws, will go and stay with a friend of hers. Jabari, the two young ones, and I will remain at my inlaws. Once again, our family will be split up....but not for long. I'm sure having 3 of my children away from me willl make me REALLY appreciate them all when we are together again. Anyway.....here's my "rant" from my blog. I hope it helps those of you who are teetering on the fence of ru, cl, and any other letters of the alphabet
that are shorthand for living joyfully and in freedom (thanks Ren and Joyce) with your children:
"I'm so anxious to learn more about living joyfully and parenting unconditionally.....this living situation is definitely testing the boundaries of my patience, and I feel like I'm failing miserably. My children....I love them more now than I did yesterday. Little pieces of the Universe in my care.....they are so special, so pure....and their souls have entrusted me to guide them through this life. I will not let them down. I will do what is necessary. I will sacrifice and die 'unto myself' that they will live and have life. Isn't that the message of all organized religions? I digress.....my children mean more to me than my own life. And I firmly believe that living consensually and joyfully and radically unschooling is the path for us - there's no doubt in my mind....I have been convinced - I am a convert. Now comes the hard part....putting into practice the ideals that I hold so highly now. Catching myself at my weak moments. Delving into my own soul to dig up my dirt,
hold it up to the light and analyze it. I have to if I'm to move forward, and allow my children to be who they are to be. I love them more than my hurt and pain. I love them more than my desire to look like a "good mother" in others eyes. I love them more than my shortcomings. And I will grow in this path."
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maisha Khalfani
I really, really love this.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Maisha...it's been inspirational to
read about your journey into Radical Unschooling.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
*******************************************************************
Thanks Ren - you are definitely a big inspiration for me; especially since you have four children - LOL.
Here's a question for you and the others......how do you get past the guilt? Once you learn about ru, and get those AHA moments, after that comes "oh gosh! I can't believe I used to do XYZ!!!" I'm reading Unconditional Parenting and....I admit...I've done the Love Withdrawl method. I've even gotten pissed off and started to walk away from my children while they were crying, only for them to cry even more, screaming "mommy, wait!" That only aggravated more - how sad!
Now I look back and I'm so ashamed, and feel so sad that I would make one of my children feel that way. Some days I think "gosh, I wish I knew about this stuff when I first met my gift daughter. I would have unschooled her from the start, and then my other four would have just joined us on that journey. I'm encouraged by Ren who talks about how she parented her older two vs. her younger two, and then I have faith that the older ones will be okay.Do any of you have those days? How do you get past that guilt of what you used to do in the past?
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Maisha...it's been inspirational to
read about your journey into Radical Unschooling.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
*******************************************************************
Thanks Ren - you are definitely a big inspiration for me; especially since you have four children - LOL.
Here's a question for you and the others......how do you get past the guilt? Once you learn about ru, and get those AHA moments, after that comes "oh gosh! I can't believe I used to do XYZ!!!" I'm reading Unconditional Parenting and....I admit...I've done the Love Withdrawl method. I've even gotten pissed off and started to walk away from my children while they were crying, only for them to cry even more, screaming "mommy, wait!" That only aggravated more - how sad!
Now I look back and I'm so ashamed, and feel so sad that I would make one of my children feel that way. Some days I think "gosh, I wish I knew about this stuff when I first met my gift daughter. I would have unschooled her from the start, and then my other four would have just joined us on that journey. I'm encouraged by Ren who talks about how she parented her older two vs. her younger two, and then I have faith that the older ones will be okay.Do any of you have those days? How do you get past that guilt of what you used to do in the past?
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maisha Khalfani
Thank You Maisha,
Because of reading your post I have decided that yes, I can do this!
You give me inspiration with each and every post you send.
Thank you for being apart of this group.
************************************************************
Awww....thanks Tricia! Like you I'm always reading. I'm always at someone's blog, looking to learn more.
I realized something....I'm sooo schooled! I've been programmed to do things FAST because in school the faster you did something showed how "smart" you were. It's like I'm still trying to beat the clock, ya know? Everything is a race. At least I've gotten rid of my desire to have things done in a "certain way". Well....mostly.
And going along with doing a good job.....Khalid left the house in his pajamas today. A definite no-no in my mom's book of good mommyhood - LOL. And all of the kids have worn the same outfit about twice in a row - hey, laundry takes a backseat to library hopping and hanging out with friends. <g>
Tricia Mccay <unskoolerz@...> wrote:
Thank You Maisha,
Because of reading your post I have decided that yes, I can do this!
You give me inspiration with each and every post you send.
Thank you for being apart of this group.
I very rarely post but I read for hours here
and at other sites every day,looking for ways to better myself as a parent.
I do not express myself well in an email and so I don't usually post unless I am desperate for help,but I felt that I must let you know how much I appreciate your posts and how much they help me in my walk with my kids.
Tricia
Maisha Khalfani <maitai373@...> wrote: Bright blessings -
I don't post as much as I'd like to, but I'm always reading the posts, and challenging my own assumptions about being a parent and an adult.
I just wanted to share with you all something that I wrote on my blog. A lot has clicked for me lately, living with my mother and sister in law....they are not child friendly AT ALL. They are down right abusive. And if there was anyplace else for us to stay we would have been there already. So we've decided to send Safiya and Dakari to stay with my mom in NYC for a few weeks. She's wanted them to come and visit and my children love her sooo much (she's the 'good' grandma). Rohana, who gets the totality of the bad treatment from my inlaws, will go and stay with a friend of hers. Jabari, the two young ones, and I will remain at my inlaws. Once again, our family will be split up....but not for long. I'm sure having 3 of my children away from me willl make me REALLY appreciate them all when we are together again. Anyway.....here's my "rant" from my blog. I hope it helps those of you who are teetering on the fence of ru, cl, and any other letters of the alphabet
that are shorthand for living joyfully and in freedom (thanks Ren and Joyce) with your children:
"I'm so anxious to learn more about living joyfully and parenting unconditionally.....this living situation is definitely testing the boundaries of my patience, and I feel like I'm failing miserably. My children....I love them more now than I did yesterday. Little pieces of the Universe in my care.....they are so special, so pure....and their souls have entrusted me to guide them through this life. I will not let them down. I will do what is necessary. I will sacrifice and die 'unto myself' that they will live and have life. Isn't that the message of all organized religions? I digress.....my children mean more to me than my own life. And I firmly believe that living consensually and joyfully and radically unschooling is the path for us - there's no doubt in my mind....I have been convinced - I am a convert. Now comes the hard part....putting into practice the ideals that I hold so highly now. Catching myself at my weak moments. Delving into my own soul to dig up my dirt,
hold it up to the light and analyze it. I have to if I'm to move forward, and allow my children to be who they are to be. I love them more than my hurt and pain. I love them more than my desire to look like a "good mother" in others eyes. I love them more than my shortcomings. And I will grow in this path."
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Because of reading your post I have decided that yes, I can do this!
You give me inspiration with each and every post you send.
Thank you for being apart of this group.
************************************************************
Awww....thanks Tricia! Like you I'm always reading. I'm always at someone's blog, looking to learn more.
I realized something....I'm sooo schooled! I've been programmed to do things FAST because in school the faster you did something showed how "smart" you were. It's like I'm still trying to beat the clock, ya know? Everything is a race. At least I've gotten rid of my desire to have things done in a "certain way". Well....mostly.
And going along with doing a good job.....Khalid left the house in his pajamas today. A definite no-no in my mom's book of good mommyhood - LOL. And all of the kids have worn the same outfit about twice in a row - hey, laundry takes a backseat to library hopping and hanging out with friends. <g>
Tricia Mccay <unskoolerz@...> wrote:
Thank You Maisha,
Because of reading your post I have decided that yes, I can do this!
You give me inspiration with each and every post you send.
Thank you for being apart of this group.
I very rarely post but I read for hours here
and at other sites every day,looking for ways to better myself as a parent.
I do not express myself well in an email and so I don't usually post unless I am desperate for help,but I felt that I must let you know how much I appreciate your posts and how much they help me in my walk with my kids.
Tricia
Maisha Khalfani <maitai373@...> wrote: Bright blessings -
I don't post as much as I'd like to, but I'm always reading the posts, and challenging my own assumptions about being a parent and an adult.
I just wanted to share with you all something that I wrote on my blog. A lot has clicked for me lately, living with my mother and sister in law....they are not child friendly AT ALL. They are down right abusive. And if there was anyplace else for us to stay we would have been there already. So we've decided to send Safiya and Dakari to stay with my mom in NYC for a few weeks. She's wanted them to come and visit and my children love her sooo much (she's the 'good' grandma). Rohana, who gets the totality of the bad treatment from my inlaws, will go and stay with a friend of hers. Jabari, the two young ones, and I will remain at my inlaws. Once again, our family will be split up....but not for long. I'm sure having 3 of my children away from me willl make me REALLY appreciate them all when we are together again. Anyway.....here's my "rant" from my blog. I hope it helps those of you who are teetering on the fence of ru, cl, and any other letters of the alphabet
that are shorthand for living joyfully and in freedom (thanks Ren and Joyce) with your children:
"I'm so anxious to learn more about living joyfully and parenting unconditionally.....this living situation is definitely testing the boundaries of my patience, and I feel like I'm failing miserably. My children....I love them more now than I did yesterday. Little pieces of the Universe in my care.....they are so special, so pure....and their souls have entrusted me to guide them through this life. I will not let them down. I will do what is necessary. I will sacrifice and die 'unto myself' that they will live and have life. Isn't that the message of all organized religions? I digress.....my children mean more to me than my own life. And I firmly believe that living consensually and joyfully and radically unschooling is the path for us - there's no doubt in my mind....I have been convinced - I am a convert. Now comes the hard part....putting into practice the ideals that I hold so highly now. Catching myself at my weak moments. Delving into my own soul to dig up my dirt,
hold it up to the light and analyze it. I have to if I'm to move forward, and allow my children to be who they are to be. I love them more than my hurt and pain. I love them more than my desire to look like a "good mother" in others eyes. I love them more than my shortcomings. And I will grow in this path."
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Namaste
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life" ~ The Dalai Lama
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ariannah Armstrong
Maisha Khalfani wrote:
unschooling and parenting my children with more freedom and choices are
thoughts I wish I had always exhibited. I know for now this is "the
real me", and "coming into my own", as it felt like coming HOME when the
light came on.
My children are still youngish and they are very forgiving, thank
Goodness. It's nice to get a second chance... but the thought that at
times I'd be harsh and hard on them for things that really were not
worth all that, It makes me shudder to think I used to BE like that.
I'm the kind of person who, when I change, I don't do "baby steps" I
jump into it with my whole heart and soul, because I either believe in
something or I don't. The children are getting used to the "new me",
and embracing our life together with love.
I cannot change the past. My children know, due to me being honest with
them (I showed my oldest daughter "Parenting from the Heart" by Jan
Hunt), that I wish I had been that way with them from day one. Being
honest with your children, letting them know that just because you're a
grown-up chronologically doesn't mean there's no room for change, that's
been a big one for me.
They know I am disgusted by my past attitudes and reactions towards
them. I've divorced myself from the person I used to be, and my
children are truly the blessing in my life they were from the beginning,
but I didn't "get it". Now, I am moving onward. But the past guilt
sometimes haunts me.
Ariannah in Nova Scotia
> Now I look back and I'mMaisha this is my current experience. My current thoughts about
> so ashamed, and feel so sad that I would make one of my children feel
> that way. Some days I think "gosh, I wish I knew about this stuff
> when I first met my gift daughter. I would have unschooled her from
> the start, and then my other four would have just joined us on that
> journey. I'm encouraged by Ren who talks about how she parented her
> older two vs. her younger two, and then I have faith that the older
> ones will be okay.Do any of you have those days? How do you get past
> that guilt of what you used to do in the past?
unschooling and parenting my children with more freedom and choices are
thoughts I wish I had always exhibited. I know for now this is "the
real me", and "coming into my own", as it felt like coming HOME when the
light came on.
My children are still youngish and they are very forgiving, thank
Goodness. It's nice to get a second chance... but the thought that at
times I'd be harsh and hard on them for things that really were not
worth all that, It makes me shudder to think I used to BE like that.
I'm the kind of person who, when I change, I don't do "baby steps" I
jump into it with my whole heart and soul, because I either believe in
something or I don't. The children are getting used to the "new me",
and embracing our life together with love.
I cannot change the past. My children know, due to me being honest with
them (I showed my oldest daughter "Parenting from the Heart" by Jan
Hunt), that I wish I had been that way with them from day one. Being
honest with your children, letting them know that just because you're a
grown-up chronologically doesn't mean there's no room for change, that's
been a big one for me.
They know I am disgusted by my past attitudes and reactions towards
them. I've divorced myself from the person I used to be, and my
children are truly the blessing in my life they were from the beginning,
but I didn't "get it". Now, I am moving onward. But the past guilt
sometimes haunts me.
Ariannah in Nova Scotia