pamela6000

Help
I have a 2 and half yr old dd. She is my second dd. She seems to
just refuse to want to use the potty. She did a bit when we were in
Italy(we live there part of the year in the summers). Then we got
back to Florida and is not interested. I never tried to train her..I
just showed her the little seat and let her watch us. She would tell
me..."poopies" and would go into the bathroom..esp at night before
bed while in Italy. Now I explain to her how it might feel better to
go on the potty, as I am cleaning her up from her diaper..and she
says ..."no mamma..I like the diaper". SO my question is..how does
one "unschool" on this one? I did train my first and aside from over
night..she was easy. I did use rewards with her of little M&M's. It
did work well. Now I am letting my second just learn for
herself..yet she does not seem to want to. If I remover her
diaper..she just does it wherever she pleases adn never near the
bathroom. I am tired of cleaning the couch, carpets, etc. I am
thinking of reverting to "teach" and reward her...
ANY ADVICE????
Thanks
pam

julie

--- In [email protected], "pamela6000"
<pamela6000@...> wrote:

>..and she
> says ..."no mamma..I like the diaper". SO my question is..how does
> one "unschool" on this one?

Hi--
Well, it looks like your daughter has already told you. :) She likes
the diaper right now. It's not forever. I found that when I gave my
son a choice--an real choice--it was easy. I trusted that he would
learn on his own time. When I could tell he needed to go (and he was
naked), I'd ask, "Do you want to go in the potty or in a diaper?" And
he'd say, "in my diaper." That was my answer. He guided me on how he
wanted to do it. I just helped with the diaper or with wiping him up.
It's up to us to let go of our arbitrary timetables with potty
training.
hth,
~~Julie

MrsStranahan

I did not potty train my oldest son. It wasn't my plan to not train him I
just didn't get around to it .. I bought the potty chair and right away he
took it out of the bathroom and put it in front of the TV and watched
cartoons on it. One day I came into the living room to find him sitting on
the potty naked from the waste down and going in it. From then on he used
the potty. He didn't have accidents and went from diapers to regular
underwear.

I did try to train my daughter and a lot of it went like you are describing
.. sometimes she would be happy to use the potty but other times she wanted
her diaper. For a short period I was asking if she needed to use the potty a
lot, she'd always say no and took to hiding in the hallway to poop. As soon
as I realized she was hiding to do her business I stopped the training.

With my 3rd child I went back to just leaving the potty chair out for him
and he used it when he was ready and aside from some video game induced
accidents he really didn't have any accidents either. He did poop on the
floor next to the potty chair a couple times, though.

In my experience the two kids I did not train went from diapers to undies
very smoothly. My daughter didn't like the training and I think she held on
to her diapers longer because I tried to get her out of them. I think she
was about 3 1/2 before she was completely out of diapers. The boys were both
right about 3 when they started using the potty by choice.

My advice would be to do nothing. Use the diapers for now and when she
doesn't want the diapers anymore she'll let you know.

hth,
Lauren


On 12/19/06, julie <juillet727@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> "pamela6000"
> <pamela6000@...> wrote:
>
> >..and she
> > says ..."no mamma..I like the diaper". SO my question is..how does
> > one "unschool" on this one?
>
> Hi--
> Well, it looks like your daughter has already told you. :) She likes
> the diaper right now. It's not forever. I found that when I gave my
> son a choice--an real choice--it was easy. I trusted that he would
> learn on his own time. When I could tell he needed to go (and he was
> naked), I'd ask, "Do you want to go in the potty or in a diaper?" And
> he'd say, "in my diaper." That was my answer. He guided me on how he
> wanted to do it. I just helped with the diaper or with wiping him up.
> It's up to us to let go of our arbitrary timetables with potty
> training.
> hth,
> ~~Julie
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Carrie Yandell

Since we're doing this now too I thought I'd throw out some
thoughts... My son started refusing diapers though so totally
different scenario. But still..

When she's naked, does she have any particular patterns to where she
goes? My son did this for a while and there were several "repeat"
places that he would choose. I don't know what kind of diapers you
use, but I have several cloth prefolds that I just started leaving on
the floor around the areas that he was using. I also have a small
potty that I would leave nearby where he was going. He didn't use
that, but he did start squatting over the diapers. Then for a while he
would actually take a diaper off the table to squat over.

Eventually (after some much sought after advice :) I got yet another
little potty that was more comfortable (squashy seat) and he enjoys
that one for some reason. I don't know quite what made him decide to
use it, but he did.

Does your daughter help you clean up the "accidents" at all? My DS did
(his own choice, I didn't make him) -- he loves waving byebye to poop
and pee. Last thought -- my DS also loves that once upon a potty book.
It cracks him up to see poop in the potty.

HTH!
Carrie

Ellen

I, too, am currently in this situation so I don't really have an
answer but I do sympathize. My DD is 32 months old. About 2 months
ago, I introduced her to the toilet and she would sit on it while I
read her stories but nothing really happened.

We've also read potty training books to try to get the idea across.
The best 2 for her were Toilet Learning (if I have that right -- it's
got cheesy 1970s drawings but it does lay things out very well) and
Princess and the Potty. The latter one should have given me a hint of
where things were going to go since it resonated with her. It's about
a girl old enough to use the potty but she just does not choose to!

And that's pretty much where we are. After a few weeks, she started
balking at sitting on the toilet so I backed off of that. But I
decided the only way to make some progress was to put her in underwear
and let her learn that way. For her, that seemed to be the right
thing. She already seemed to have some control and that has helped her.

Now, she still won't use the toilet. She waits until she has a diaper
on for nap time or bed time. Or she'll have an accident, which she
really has not had many of once we were past the first week. As of
yesterday I think she made a step forward. She told me she needed a
diaper instead of having an accident. My pediatrician told me he
considers kids potty trained when they demonstrate the control to hold
it until they are on the toilet or have the diaper. So it's not so
much where they put it but that they can control it. Eventually it
will cross her mind to use the toilet instead so the actual transition
will seem easy.

The advice I've gotten has been essentially bribing her. Either by
rewards for going, which would not work for her, or by luring her to
the potty with the promise of some really pretty panties, which might
work with her. But I'm not quite ready to push her that way at this
time. I think I'll just wait a while longer and see what she does.

pamela6000

--- In [email protected], "Ellen" <ellen@...> wrote:
>
> I, too, am currently in this situation so I don't really have an
> answer but I do sympathize. My DD is 32 months old. About 2 months
> ago, I introduced her to the toilet and she would sit on it while I
> read her stories but nothing really happened.
>
> We've also read potty training books to try to get the idea across.
> The best 2 for her were Toilet Learning (if I have that right --
it's
> got cheesy 1970s drawings but it does lay things out very well) and
> Princess and the Potty. The latter one should have given me a hint
of
> where things were going to go since it resonated with her. It's
about
> a girl old enough to use the potty but she just does not choose to!
>
> And that's pretty much where we are. After a few weeks, she started
> balking at sitting on the toilet so I backed off of that. But I
> decided the only way to make some progress was to put her in
underwear
> and let her learn that way. For her, that seemed to be the right
> thing. She already seemed to have some control and that has helped
her.
>
> Now, she still won't use the toilet. She waits until she has a
diaper
> on for nap time or bed time. Or she'll have an accident, which she
> really has not had many of once we were past the first week. As of
> yesterday I think she made a step forward. She told me she needed a
> diaper instead of having an accident. My pediatrician told me he
> considers kids potty trained when they demonstrate the control to
hold
> it until they are on the toilet or have the diaper. So it's not so
> much where they put it but that they can control it. Eventually it
> will cross her mind to use the toilet instead so the actual
transition
> will seem easy.
>
> The advice I've gotten has been essentially bribing her. Either by
> rewards for going, which would not work for her, or by luring her
to
> the potty with the promise of some really pretty panties, which
might
> work with her. But I'm not quite ready to push her that way at this
> time. I think I'll just wait a while longer and see what she does.
>
Thanks much for all the advice from everyone!!!!!
This was easy for my first DD...thought it would be for the
second.!!!!pam