Another sleep post
Carrie
Hi all,
After the resounding success of implementing the suggestions from my
last diaper problem post, I have another "lifestyle" question.. this
time involving sleep. Once again I need a new perspective, new points
of view, or someone to just reassure me that I am not being a terrible
parent. I did troll the archives but haven't found exactly what I'm
looking for.
My son, Nathan, turned 2 in October. Since he was 4 months old it's
been very obvious when he was tired -- yawning, rubbing eyes, etc. He
was ready for bed around 7pm, which considering my husband and I are
night owls was a bit of a shock for us.
Well, since around September, Nathan has decided he's no longer into
sleeping. I've read many of the posts here about respecting and
trusting your children and I'm trying to do that. He simultaneously
started dropping naps and staying up very late. I can understand
dropping naps, I know that happens eventually. I can understand
wanting to stay up with us, that seems only natural.
What mystifies me is how he keeps going. He's like the energizer
bunny. All sleepy signals are GONE. It can be midnight and I'm yawning
and fighting to stay up myself, and he's just go go go. It was like a
switch went off and he's just no longer tired. I do try and make it to
bed myself around 10 and he'll come with me (I'm pregnant and need the
sleep what with no naps!). But often we just don't make it until midnight.
I am concerned that he's becoming utterly exhausted though. A few
times a week now he'll fall asleep during dinner, literally, in his
food. He'll sleep for a few hours and then won't want to go to bed, of
course. He's started sleeping in later, which is fine, unless we have
something planned and then of course I get irritated and he's a bear
to wake up. Things are better if he falls asleep in the car on the way
home, even if briefly. Then he's able to stay up until bedtime.
He gets maybe 8 sometimes 9 or 10 hours of sleep a night, and that's
pretty much it. I know that since I've read "the books" that there are
alarm bells going off in my head because that's not "normal". I'm not
overly concerned about following normality, but I do worry that he's
getting chronically tired. He gets grouchier throughout the afternoon
and evening, and if he sleeps in the evening he doesn't sleep as well
at night. It's impossible to keep him up though.
I've asked several people about this and of course the advice I get is
just to put him to bed earlier. This seems wrong to me -- he's not
acting tired. I can't force him to sleep. He does come by it honestly
-- both DH and I have trouble sleeping and are night owls too. So many
people are telling us this is unhealthy, that it will stunt his
growth, etc.
I guess I'm just worried that he's not getting enough sleep. I'm
confident this will work itself out in time, but it is a struggle now.
Does anyone else have any similar stories? Anyone else have a child
who switched sleeping habits like this? I'm not harming him by
facilitating his staying up late, am I? I guess I thought we wouldn't
lose BOTH naps and bedtime at the same time! :)
Thanks for listening,
Carrie Yandell
After the resounding success of implementing the suggestions from my
last diaper problem post, I have another "lifestyle" question.. this
time involving sleep. Once again I need a new perspective, new points
of view, or someone to just reassure me that I am not being a terrible
parent. I did troll the archives but haven't found exactly what I'm
looking for.
My son, Nathan, turned 2 in October. Since he was 4 months old it's
been very obvious when he was tired -- yawning, rubbing eyes, etc. He
was ready for bed around 7pm, which considering my husband and I are
night owls was a bit of a shock for us.
Well, since around September, Nathan has decided he's no longer into
sleeping. I've read many of the posts here about respecting and
trusting your children and I'm trying to do that. He simultaneously
started dropping naps and staying up very late. I can understand
dropping naps, I know that happens eventually. I can understand
wanting to stay up with us, that seems only natural.
What mystifies me is how he keeps going. He's like the energizer
bunny. All sleepy signals are GONE. It can be midnight and I'm yawning
and fighting to stay up myself, and he's just go go go. It was like a
switch went off and he's just no longer tired. I do try and make it to
bed myself around 10 and he'll come with me (I'm pregnant and need the
sleep what with no naps!). But often we just don't make it until midnight.
I am concerned that he's becoming utterly exhausted though. A few
times a week now he'll fall asleep during dinner, literally, in his
food. He'll sleep for a few hours and then won't want to go to bed, of
course. He's started sleeping in later, which is fine, unless we have
something planned and then of course I get irritated and he's a bear
to wake up. Things are better if he falls asleep in the car on the way
home, even if briefly. Then he's able to stay up until bedtime.
He gets maybe 8 sometimes 9 or 10 hours of sleep a night, and that's
pretty much it. I know that since I've read "the books" that there are
alarm bells going off in my head because that's not "normal". I'm not
overly concerned about following normality, but I do worry that he's
getting chronically tired. He gets grouchier throughout the afternoon
and evening, and if he sleeps in the evening he doesn't sleep as well
at night. It's impossible to keep him up though.
I've asked several people about this and of course the advice I get is
just to put him to bed earlier. This seems wrong to me -- he's not
acting tired. I can't force him to sleep. He does come by it honestly
-- both DH and I have trouble sleeping and are night owls too. So many
people are telling us this is unhealthy, that it will stunt his
growth, etc.
I guess I'm just worried that he's not getting enough sleep. I'm
confident this will work itself out in time, but it is a struggle now.
Does anyone else have any similar stories? Anyone else have a child
who switched sleeping habits like this? I'm not harming him by
facilitating his staying up late, am I? I guess I thought we wouldn't
lose BOTH naps and bedtime at the same time! :)
Thanks for listening,
Carrie Yandell
Deb Lewis
***Does anyone else have any similar stories? ***
Dylan was not a napper. Naps made him cranky because he thought he was
missing something while asleep. He still does not like to sleep, though
right now he's sleeping about nine hours a night. He still thinks it's a
waste of time. <g>
In the evenings I used to quiet the house. I'd turn down the lights, turn
down the volume on the TV if it was on. I'd turn the heat up a little, put
my pj's on and get cozy on the sofa with a blanket. Lots of times Dylan
would join me. Sometimes he'd fall asleep. Sometimes David (dh) would go
to bed and invite Dylan to join him for a story. Sometimes Dylan would fall
asleep, sometimes not, but we would make his environment sleep friendly. <g>
Dylan had a little tent in the living room and I would make a nest in there
with blankets and pillows and he would wiggle in there and sometimes fall
asleep.
You said you're pregnant, are you maybe doing fewer energy burning
activities with your little guy during the day? That might account for his
abundance of energy at night. If you could get to the park to play and run
it might help to make him more ready for sleep in the evenings. Maybe hard
on you though, if you're way pregnant. <g>
Is there a young person in your neighborhood who might come and play with
your son, in your house, for an hour or so in the afternoon so you could
nap? You'd be right there if you were needed but he'd be busy and safe.
(Sometimes two year olds just want mom, though. <g>)
My son is fourteen. He sleeps when he's tired and he sleeps almost every
night. <g> He has never been happy about needing to sleep but he learned
what his body was capable of and when he needs sleep, he sleeps. He did
not nap as a toddler, not since he was about fourteen months old. He had
some late nights and some times of feeling cranky because he didn't have
enough sleep, but here he is, a big kid who sleeps anyway! <g>
Deb Lewis
Dylan was not a napper. Naps made him cranky because he thought he was
missing something while asleep. He still does not like to sleep, though
right now he's sleeping about nine hours a night. He still thinks it's a
waste of time. <g>
In the evenings I used to quiet the house. I'd turn down the lights, turn
down the volume on the TV if it was on. I'd turn the heat up a little, put
my pj's on and get cozy on the sofa with a blanket. Lots of times Dylan
would join me. Sometimes he'd fall asleep. Sometimes David (dh) would go
to bed and invite Dylan to join him for a story. Sometimes Dylan would fall
asleep, sometimes not, but we would make his environment sleep friendly. <g>
Dylan had a little tent in the living room and I would make a nest in there
with blankets and pillows and he would wiggle in there and sometimes fall
asleep.
You said you're pregnant, are you maybe doing fewer energy burning
activities with your little guy during the day? That might account for his
abundance of energy at night. If you could get to the park to play and run
it might help to make him more ready for sleep in the evenings. Maybe hard
on you though, if you're way pregnant. <g>
Is there a young person in your neighborhood who might come and play with
your son, in your house, for an hour or so in the afternoon so you could
nap? You'd be right there if you were needed but he'd be busy and safe.
(Sometimes two year olds just want mom, though. <g>)
My son is fourteen. He sleeps when he's tired and he sleeps almost every
night. <g> He has never been happy about needing to sleep but he learned
what his body was capable of and when he needs sleep, he sleeps. He did
not nap as a toddler, not since he was about fourteen months old. He had
some late nights and some times of feeling cranky because he didn't have
enough sleep, but here he is, a big kid who sleeps anyway! <g>
Deb Lewis
Mindy Evans
My son is almost 6 and he is exactly the same. I have always been a night owl so the late nights made sense to me, but when he was not napping and only sleeping 9 hours a night, I was freaking out about him sleeping. I have come to realize though that my husband sleeps an average of 5 to 6 hours a night. He has always been that way. I can't grasp that because I am a 12 hour a day person if you let me! He doesn't actually "sleep" until around 1030-1100, and gets up around 730.
When he was little, he would not go to bed until like 2 in the morning, (but would sleep until 1000) despite my best efforts. I just started laying down with him around 1100 and making him stay in his room until whenever it was he fell asleep. Sometimes he would get up and play with his toys while I slept, which was fine as long as the door was locked and he couldn't get out. Now that has paid off as like I said he is sleepy around 1000.
About 7-8 at night EVERY NIGHT, he has this wind up hour where he is basically a little nut ball. He runs around in circles, does gymnastics in the living room, rolls around the floor, etc. He is just a little ball of energy. Then he crashes at like 9 and is mellow again. He gets plenty of exercise during the day, (we walk about a mile a day).
After many years of trying to figure it out, I had to just accept that this is his being. We all have rhythms, and I think the more you try to fight it the worse off you are.
My best advice is to get your rest when you need it, lock him in his room with you in there, turn on the tv (during the day if you need a nap since you are pregnant, not at night though) and sleep. He will learn to play on his own.
Worrying was the biggest thing I had to give up and I still do that so be encouraged, your child will figure out his needs. Baby whispers, well, never worked on my son and he is just fine!!!
God Bless You and yours
Mindy Evans
mindyevans@...
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When he was little, he would not go to bed until like 2 in the morning, (but would sleep until 1000) despite my best efforts. I just started laying down with him around 1100 and making him stay in his room until whenever it was he fell asleep. Sometimes he would get up and play with his toys while I slept, which was fine as long as the door was locked and he couldn't get out. Now that has paid off as like I said he is sleepy around 1000.
About 7-8 at night EVERY NIGHT, he has this wind up hour where he is basically a little nut ball. He runs around in circles, does gymnastics in the living room, rolls around the floor, etc. He is just a little ball of energy. Then he crashes at like 9 and is mellow again. He gets plenty of exercise during the day, (we walk about a mile a day).
After many years of trying to figure it out, I had to just accept that this is his being. We all have rhythms, and I think the more you try to fight it the worse off you are.
My best advice is to get your rest when you need it, lock him in his room with you in there, turn on the tv (during the day if you need a nap since you are pregnant, not at night though) and sleep. He will learn to play on his own.
Worrying was the biggest thing I had to give up and I still do that so be encouraged, your child will figure out his needs. Baby whispers, well, never worked on my son and he is just fine!!!
God Bless You and yours
Mindy Evans
mindyevans@...
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