alisonslp

I really want to get a handle on this but I don't know how. I have a
6yr old with some mild sensory integration issues. I'm an early
intervention speech therapist so I noticed the issues very early on
and worked with him throughout the years. He's a twin, born at 31 wks
and had 2 brain bleeds as well. When he was younger, he had motor
planning and visual/auditory issues but these have pretty much
disappeared.

One thing that is occuring now is his need to be touching me when we
are in public. I am not talking about holding my hand. I mean
literally being attached to me. If we are walking, he tends to put out
his elbow so that it's touching my leg. If we are standing still and
he's infront, he backs up until he can feel his head against me or he
will pull his elbows back to me. In the grocery store, he has the need
to hold the grocery cart and gets very anxious if he can't (he holds
the side and if another cart is trying to pass, he has to let go and
move away). This isn't about unfamiliar people, per se. It seems to be
more about his place in space (the sensory part of it). Like I said,
holding hands doesn't really help, as he is away from my body.

I need to make clear that this is a kid who now has average motor
skills. He learned to ride a bike early and is beginning to roller
skate. He loves baseball and street hockey. So it's not motor
planning. It's more his awareness in space and his need for external
confirmation.

He has no problem going out and playing and there are times when he
will be atteched and all of a sudden just go off and go explore (ex.
in the museum today, he would go explore and then come right back to me).

Any tips or experiences are appreciated. I don't let it show to him,
but it's really wearing on me. I love his hugs and holding his hand.
But the "having an extra body attached to me" is wearing on me...

alison

Kelly Weyd

Alison,
My daughter (also 6) has SPD or SID, but has it much worse than your son. She also has Asperger's Syndrome, and the diagnoses probably don't stop there. We are seeing the Pediatric Neurologist on Monday, and will probably move onto the Child Phychiatrist from there. Anyway, do you belong to any of the SPD or SID yahoo groups, because there are a number of them and they are very helpful. Personally, I don't have much advice because Mariah does not hang on me constantly. Sometimes I wish she would in public. We seem to have the opposite problem. Mariah is usually doing something very dangerous or very inappropriate in public. If this is your only sensory issues, my guess is that it will probably work itself in time as your little guy gets a little more confident in the world.
Kelly

alisonslp <alisonslp@...> wrote:
I really want to get a handle on this but I don't know how. I have a
6yr old with some mild sensory integration issues. I'm an early
intervention speech therapist so I noticed the issues very early on
and worked with him throughout the years. He's a twin, born at 31 wks
and had 2 brain bleeds as well. When he was younger, he had motor
planning and visual/auditory issues but these have pretty much
disappeared.

One thing that is occuring now is his need to be touching me when we
are in public. I am not talking about holding my hand. I mean
literally being attached to me. If we are walking, he tends to put out
his elbow so that it's touching my leg. If we are standing still and
he's infront, he backs up until he can feel his head against me or he
will pull his elbows back to me. In the grocery store, he has the need
to hold the grocery cart and gets very anxious if he can't (he holds
the side and if another cart is trying to pass, he has to let go and
move away). This isn't about unfamiliar people, per se. It seems to be
more about his place in space (the sensory part of it). Like I said,
holding hands doesn't really help, as he is away from my body.

I need to make clear that this is a kid who now has average motor
skills. He learned to ride a bike early and is beginning to roller
skate. He loves baseball and street hockey. So it's not motor
planning. It's more his awareness in space and his need for external
confirmation.

He has no problem going out and playing and there are times when he
will be atteched and all of a sudden just go off and go explore (ex.
in the museum today, he would go explore and then come right back to me).

Any tips or experiences are appreciated. I don't let it show to him,
but it's really wearing on me. I love his hugs and holding his hand.
But the "having an extra body attached to me" is wearing on me...

alison






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alisonslp

--- In [email protected], "wuweimama" <wuweimama@...>
wrote:
>
> Alison, do you know about these weighted vests, blankets, collars, and
> lovey animals?



Thanks Pat... I have worked with other children using the vests and
blankets but never thought of it for ds. I will look into it. Thanks!

alison

woodhaven_farm

I am a single mom to a 4 yr old ds with fairly major sensory issues
and a whole list of other labels. He likes to be attached as well.
His coping mechanism is stroking MY face, right around my lips, over
and over again. I am not a huge fan of being touched, especially in
this very sensitive area of my face. DS's touch can be very
aggressive, he seems to have trouble preceiving the level of his
touch, so he needs guidance with the level of touch as well.

When he is really struggling he can require what seems likes hours of
touch. I felt obligated to meet his needs, but it was breeding
resentment in me, which in turn, caused ds more stress. Even when I
felt like i was meeting his needs, he did not seem content.

So I talked to ds's occupational therapist. I have and am struggling
with addressing ds's needs, professional assistance, and my parenting
beliefs. I am fortunate that most of ds's therapists are pretty
respectful folks, and I currently believe that their assistance is
helpful, pleasant for ds, and legally necessary (I am going through a
custody battle as well).

Anyway, she suggusted meeting the need for some amount of time, no
discussion. Then at some point, say ten minutes or so, telling him
that I needed a break, discussing options, and helping him to engage
in another activity. If he is insistant that he must continue, then
to set a timelimit for another round, do so willingly, then when the
time is up, say "ok time to xyz,and moving on to an engaging activity
(one that can meet the need that he seems to need - like jumping on
the trampoline, or a deep massage, or putting pillows on him and
laying on him).

I thought she was crazy as she went through this with me - ds is very
paasionate to say the least and I felt pretty confidant that he would
end up exploding if I said no, but I realized that it was about not
saying no, but finding more mutually acceptable ways to cope.

Anyway, it has worked. Since I know that it is not going to go on
forever, and I look at it as a learning experience about my child. My
child (I hope)knows that I am going to meet his needs.

I am learning more about his limits and triggers and not taking him
to his edge, equiping him with the ability to voice his feelings and
needs, and actively problem solving with him to meet those needs.

I have been pleasantly surprised by his ability to tell me what he
needs lately. Sometimes it is very raw, but he is now able to reach
out to me in the heat of his passion and ask for help -a huge his
step for him. He is also able to hear me and see that I am trying to
help.

I have yet to try the weighted vests, but I have experimented with
different textures and objects for ds to touch. Any substitutions
would just send him over the edge.

Good luck. My ds also has an articulation disorder, a receptive
language disorder, pragmatic language disorder, and auditory
processing disorder, so language can be a real challenge for us.
He is also considered to be globally developmentally delayed, with
planning difficulties, muscular incoridination and weakness, and
visual/spatial difficulties.

As I am sure you know, this must make life so challenging for him. I
find it very challenging, especially as a single parent, but it
really does help to try and look at things from his point of view. I
find myself evualating new situations, looking for triggers, and then
trying to help ds navigate, with out "crowding" him, per se.

Kepp your chin up, it sounds like ds is fortunate to have a dm who
cares so much.

--- In [email protected], "alisonslp"
<alisonslp@...> wrote:
>
> I really want to get a handle on this but I don't know how. I have a
> 6yr old with some mild sensory integration issues. I'm an early
> intervention speech therapist so I noticed the issues very early on
> and worked with him throughout the years. He's a twin, born at 31
wks
> and had 2 brain bleeds as well. When he was younger, he had motor
> planning and visual/auditory issues but these have pretty much
> disappeared.
>
> One thing that is occuring now is his need to be touching me when we
> are in public. I am not talking about holding my hand. I mean
> literally being attached to me. If we are walking, he tends to put
out
> his elbow so that it's touching my leg. If we are standing still and
> he's infront, he backs up until he can feel his head against me or
he
> will pull his elbows back to me. In the grocery store, he has the
need
> to hold the grocery cart and gets very anxious if he can't (he holds
> the side and if another cart is trying to pass, he has to let go and
> move away). This isn't about unfamiliar people, per se. It seems to
be
> more about his place in space (the sensory part of it). Like I said,
> holding hands doesn't really help, as he is away from my body.
>
> I need to make clear that this is a kid who now has average motor
> skills. He learned to ride a bike early and is beginning to roller
> skate. He loves baseball and street hockey. So it's not motor
> planning. It's more his awareness in space and his need for
external
> confirmation.
>
> He has no problem going out and playing and there are times when he
> will be atteched and all of a sudden just go off and go explore (ex.
> in the museum today, he would go explore and then come right back
to me).
>
> Any tips or experiences are appreciated. I don't let it show to him,
> but it's really wearing on me. I love his hugs and holding his hand.
> But the "having an extra body attached to me" is wearing on me...
>
> alison
>

alisonslp

Thanks for your experiences, Woodhaven

It helps to know I'm not the only one dealing with it (I *know* that
already. But when you're in the middle of it all it seems like I'm the
only one sometimes.

I took DS to a hockey game tonight - just the two of us and we got to
talk a little. He was able to put some of his feelings and fears into
words and I have a little bit better understanding of what he's going
through. I was also able to give him alot of extra hugs and touching -
and then it hit me why sometimes I get so frustrated. It usually
happens when I have all three children with me. I'm a little
flustered, just trying to keep everyone with me, fielding all their
comments, making sure nothing gets broken in the stores, trying to
remember why I'm at the store, etc. And DS begins with all his extra
needs. I just can't deal with it given all the other stuff I'm
thinking about at that time, so I think it wears on me quicker and
harder. But tonight, being alone with him, it was very different. he
was still the same with his needs - more so because it was SO crowded,
but I had no problem giving him the extras he needed. I was calm and
relaxed, not having all the extra thoughts of errands, kids, etc.

So I came away from tonight with better insight, both on him and me. I
am going to have to brainstorm on how to make those situations better
for all of us...

alison

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: alisonslp@...

Any tips or experiences are appreciated. I don't let it show to him,
but it's really wearing on me. I love his hugs and holding his hand.
But the "having an extra body attached to me" is wearing on me...

-=-=-==-

I know I'm really late getting back to you---very busy month or so.

Really and truly---all these things that seem like SOOO much now will
not be so big in a few years.

Take deep breaths as often as you can. He gets older every day.

When he's 20, you'll miss this time and think back on it fondly.
Really, really, really!

~Kelly
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