Heather

Hello. I think that Cosleeping has been addressed on this group
before so I am bringing a question that has me troubled. I/we co-
sleep w/ our three and 1/2 yr old son and almost 2 yr old daughter
and we are all happy with this practice. My daughter still nurses on
and off all night (only nurses at bedtime and during night as I have
weaned her off daytime nursing). Well... My Mother In Law this
morning on the phone when I was discussing a totally different
problem in my life with her, said she had some advice for me that
she knew wasn't her business but that she just felt compelled to
talk to me about anyway. Then she launched into how she thought
I "just need to get the kids out of our bed" and how "it's not good
for the kids nor for your marriage" and how "kids should see that
their parents are a separate unit from themselves and that they
don't need to see themselves as part of the marrital unit" (or
something like that?) and how "sleeping with them is more for YOU
than it is for THEM" and how they're never going to grow into self
reliant individuals if I keep them in our bed etc etc etc, yatta
yatta yatta... As usual, my blood pressure went right up and I just
kept stammering "I'll give it some thought" etc etc. I never know
what to say to her when she goes off like that. As you can imagine,
she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot. I've asked the same
sort of question before when she lambbasted me about homeschooling
being a bad idea... Maybe I should just talking with her? Hard for
me though 'cause she's been more of a mother to me for my whole
marriage (15yrs) than my own Mom, who I was astranged for like 8yrs.
(yet ANOTHER story). Advice please!

Ginger Sabo

Heather,

Try not to take it personally, as she is only expressing her opinion. That opinion is something that seems not to work for you. Attachment Parenting International has many support groups and maybe there is one in your area that could help. Here in Nashville, we discussed this very topic just this last meeting.

Remember...it's what works for your immediate family. I have found just thanking the individual for their concern (even restating what they have just said) and then dropping it to work best when dealing with my own relatives. They are not going to suddenly change their minds, and the have been given the opportunity to explore other ways of living. Nothing I say is going to change their opinion.

Listen to your heart, it's already telling you what you need to do. Differences in opinion don't have to lead to astrangement of family or friends.

In Peace,
Ginger
Kai(7) and Kade(5)

LOVE has impact.

"It's not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences." - Audre Lorde



____________________________________________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

honor_beings

--- In [email protected], "Heather" <johevili72@...>
wrote:
>
> Hello. I think that Cosleeping has been addressed on this group
> before so I am bringing a question that has me troubled. I/we co-
> sleep w/ our three and 1/2 yr old son and almost 2 yr old daughter
> and we are all happy with this practice. My daughter still nurses
on
> and off all night (only nurses at bedtime and during night as I
have
> weaned her off daytime nursing). Well... My Mother In Law this
> morning on the phone when I was discussing a totally different
> problem in my life with her, said she had some advice for me that
> she knew wasn't her business but that she just felt compelled to
> talk to me about anyway. Then she launched into how she thought
> I "just need to get the kids out of our bed" and how "it's not
good
> for the kids nor for your marriage" and how "kids should see that
> their parents are a separate unit from themselves and that they
> don't need to see themselves as part of the marrital unit" (or
> something like that?) and how "sleeping with them is more for YOU
> than it is for THEM" and how they're never going to grow into self
> reliant individuals if I keep them in our bed etc etc etc, yatta
> yatta yatta... As usual, my blood pressure went right up and I
just
> kept stammering "I'll give it some thought" etc etc. I never know
> what to say to her when she goes off like that. As you can
imagine,
> she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
> issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
> cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot. I've asked the
same
> sort of question before when she lambbasted me about homeschooling
> being a bad idea... Maybe I should just talking with her? Hard for
> me though 'cause she's been more of a mother to me for my whole
> marriage (15yrs) than my own Mom, who I was astranged for like
8yrs.
> (yet ANOTHER story). Advice please!


I understand your frustrations. I have been in similar situations
in the past. I have changed my behavior which has helped. I no
longer talk/discuss matters so close to my heart. I remind myself
to keep the conversation bases on "light touch" topics. I too have
a mother in law that is more like a mom. I have learned through
many conversations that she was not going to give me the 100%
approval that I wanted. So, gradually I learned what was safe to
discuss with her and what wasn't. Now, our relationship has grown
tremendously. She supports me and she doesn't know the details.
She knows general things and if she askes me for specifics, I rarely
give them. It was difficult at first and sometimes I slip and
discuss something I regret(something I feel very strongly about). I
am only sharing my situation, but I am happier. Now, I discuss my
holistic parenting/unschooling with people that are safe. I rarely
have heated discussions and that I am grateful for! Good luck to
you.

In light,
Kimberly Payne

Kelly Weyd

Somebody had said (don't know if it was this particular subject or another subject) to ask the person to do some research on the subject before you would be willing to have a discussion about the subject. That makes sense to me. I would ask her to do some research (and not just cons against cosleeping) but about pros and cons of cosleeping, and then you could talk about it. But ultimately these children belong to you and your husband.....the two of you have to decide how to best raise them. Honestly, your children won't still be sleeping with you when they are 25. I think nurturing and loving them in this way at their ages are a beautiful thing!
Kelly

Heather <johevili72@...> wrote:
Hello. I think that Cosleeping has been addressed on this group
before so I am bringing a question that has me troubled. I/we co-
sleep w/ our three and 1/2 yr old son and almost 2 yr old daughter
and we are all happy with this practice. My daughter still nurses on
and off all night (only nurses at bedtime and during night as I have
weaned her off daytime nursing). Well... My Mother In Law this
morning on the phone when I was discussing a totally different
problem in my life with her, said she had some advice for me that
she knew wasn't her business but that she just felt compelled to
talk to me about anyway. Then she launched into how she thought
I "just need to get the kids out of our bed" and how "it's not good
for the kids nor for your marriage" and how "kids should see that
their parents are a separate unit from themselves and that they
don't need to see themselves as part of the marrital unit" (or
something like that?) and how "sleeping with them is more for YOU
than it is for THEM" and how they're never going to grow into self
reliant individuals if I keep them in our bed etc etc etc, yatta
yatta yatta... As usual, my blood pressure went right up and I just
kept stammering "I'll give it some thought" etc etc. I never know
what to say to her when she goes off like that. As you can imagine,
she is also against homeschooling as well, but that is another
issue. What do you all say to the naysayers in your lives re:
cosleeping or attachement parenting or whatnot. I've asked the same
sort of question before when she lambbasted me about homeschooling
being a bad idea... Maybe I should just talking with her? Hard for
me though 'cause she's been more of a mother to me for my whole
marriage (15yrs) than my own Mom, who I was astranged for like 8yrs.
(yet ANOTHER story). Advice please!






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heather Cuoio

Hello again all,
I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and support and to tell you I wrote my MIL an e-mail telling her that, while I appreciate her concern and realize that she likely just voiced it because she wants what is best for us and our kids, that we are going to continue to co-sleep as long as it is working for us and that right now, it's working. I don't know how she'll 'take it' but I have decided that it's time to grow a backbone and call her on what feel like 'potshots' to my parenting style and choices. As many of you have said, these are my kids and I need to raise them in the way's I believe, that she has 'had her chance' with raising kids. I am very happy to have found this group so it can help soothe my fears when I hear such things and get a bit 'uneasy'. Have a lovely day everyone!
Smiles,
Heather



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rshoulla

Our two youngest are 2 and 1 and the littlest co-sleeps every night,
the 2yo only sometimes either with me or our 13yo ds. The past few
months the 1yo has started tossing and turning, which doesn't bother
me at all, but keeps my dh up all night so he's taken to sleeping
whereever he feels comfortable - the 2yo's twin bed, the couch, our
oldest's bed when he's not home... Our dd (1yo) still does most of
her nursing at night, like every 2-3 hours, we both sleep through
it ... ah, the joys of co-sleeping. My dh could care less about
where he sleeps and finds the nursing much more important and
realizes this too shall pass when the time is right. So we're all
happy with the situation.

I, however, made the stupid mistake of casually mentioning this in
conversation with some relatives. Now I'm privy to all sorts of
unsolicited advice and judgement. My sister thinks it's awful that
our 2yo is allowed to sleep with me in bed, in his own bed, on our
bedroom floor, camping in the living room or anywhere he decides
he's comfortable. She thinks he needs "routine." I say, this IS
our routine and we're all pretty happy with it. Am I crazy? Does
anyone here thing 2yo is too young to have this kind of freedom? He
gets plenty of sleep, is healthy, very active and so happy complete
strangers comment on a regular basis on what a happy, loving he
child he is.

My aunt thinks we're sabotaging our marriage and won't ever have
time for intimacy (as adults, we've figured this one out too!). Has
anyone else had this in their marriage? We seem to be doing fine,
but they've made me feel like I'm making all the wrong choices and
will pay for it later in irreversible consequences.

Thanks,
Robin

Elissa Jill

Does
anyone here thing 2yo is too young to have this kind of freedom? He
gets plenty of sleep, is healthy, very active and so happy complete
strangers comment on a regular basis on what a happy, loving he
child he is.
*******
You've answered your own question!
My aunt thinks we're sabotaging our marriage and won't ever have
time for intimacy (as adults, we've figured this one out too!).
*********
You could offer her some details on the intimacy of your marriage if she brings it up again. <bwg> I bet she'll stop asking!
Elissa Jill
A Kindersher saychel iz oychet a saychel.
"A Child's wisdom is also wisdom." ~Yiddish Proverb

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

rshoulla

Thanks to everyone for all the great words of encouragement. We only
pulled our kids out of ps a year ago and it's been such an evolution
learning who we are and what makes us happy. I really enjoy lurking
here.

>>You could offer her some details on the intimacy of your marriage if
she brings it up again. <bwg> I bet she'll stop asking!<<

Oh my! After I stopped laughing, I realized you are right. I'm just
ornery enough to try that one. ;)

>>My husband and i will have many years to sleep together by ourselves
after the kiddos move out of the room.<<

Yes! Yes! This is how we feel.

>>Secondly its important to remember our culture sees sleeping
arrangements as sexual. Where as in most cultures outside western
civilization they see it as a social thing.<<

I think there are probably a number of things we do in our family that
more traditional western folks would see a sexual, which I think is a
ridiculous notion. Our oldest ds was there when our youngest was
born. It fantastically educational experience for him, but more
importantly a bonding experience both between us and him and him and
his sister. He proudly says, "I'm the first face she saw!" Others
think we're weird because I let my 12yo ds watch me give birth. I
don't care about what they think about that though, so it's funny that
I've been unable to break the conditioning of where/when/with whom we
should all be sleeping when we're perfectly happy.

I too, remember not wanting to go to bed and it had nothing to do with
not wanting to go to sleep. I just didn't like being alone in my
cold, dark room! I hadn't thought about this, but it brings back a
lot of memories I don't want my children to have.

This has really been bugging me and I appreciate the support. I will
*try* to work on worrying less and just letting things be. I think
that's the biggest lesson I continually learn lurking here... :)

[email protected]

I'm a bit behind so I'll be brief.
This week a friend and I did an interview for the news on unschooling(it
hasn't aired yet..next week).
The reporter was talking to us off camera about her 13 mo. She asked about
co sleeping and then told us her friends read the experts books on parenting.
She said her 13 mo slept with them (I can't recall if she said full time? I
was still trying to get air as I was nervous AND she had a mic pack in her hand
so I was wondering about that).
Anyway.. She said she was uneasy about sharing that with her friends as they
may find issue with it.
At 37 I think I have been in her shoes however.. now 4 children later it
sounded so odd that she would feel such outside pressure and that her friendship
was based on agreement.
I was shocked when I said it but it did fall out of my face. I told her
that I learned over the years that people don't need to know everything and if
you know they are going to take issue don't bother telling them.
She seemed a bit more not so odd and her face relaxed.

I think it's hard for some to relate to emotionally attached parenting(if
those are the right words). Or maybe they have regrets about their own
parenting? Thing is you may never know unless they share it. What people say in the
moment when they are judging is often not really their position, it's more
fear..

. I wish you the best in those conversations and I know family can be like
feeding starving dogs but maybe they will, with your help, move on to a new
stage in life. If not spare yourself the comments and smile.
(((hugs)))

Laura~ Maine
Mom of 4 with two cosleepers, one tv room sleeper and one random gamer who
likes to shop with me at midnight:)
Unschoolingmaine.com



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heather

Robin,

I feel your pain... I asked the same sort of question of the group
about a week ago myself after my Mother-In-Law took me to task yet
again for our co-sleeping with our kids. (son 3.5 and daughter
almost 2) My daughter still nurses at night and my son is a very
sensitive little guy who just sleeps better with us (he wakes up on
occaision still and, finding us there ready to rub his back or hold
his hand, goes back to sleep pretty much right away) I took the
advice of many on the group and addressed it with my MIL. I wrote
her an e-mail and attached several co-sleeping articles that someone
had sent me the link to that talked about the benefits of
cosleeping. I am not sure she read them, but now that I've sent them
to her, I don't plan to ever let her bring it up with me again. I
thought it was great, the person who commented that 'if she's
worried about your sex life, you could give her the details and
that'd shut her up pretty quick'... Laughed out loud at that one! I
think, even if we didn't co-sleep with our kids, or especially if we
didn't, we'd still have to be 'creative' about our sex life at this
stage of our lives (having small kids). If we didn't cosleep, I
suspect that bedtime would be such a stressful time that after we
finally 'fought the kids' into bed, we'd likely be so drained that
we'd be like 'forget it, I am tired!" LOL! B/t/w my husband also
sleeps on the couch or in the 'kids room' sometimes... He's been an
insomniac his whole life (hmmmm... Wonder if he'd have had that
problem if his parents had EVER let him have a bit of comfort at
night, but I digress...) and so he sort of sleeps where he CAN
sleep... But he's been that way our whole marriage (15yrs) and our
kids are only 3.5 and ~2, so I don't see how they or cosleeping
could be 'blamed' for that...

What irritates me, and has been on my mind lately, is that many of
the naysayers I've read about are (I suspect and I know my MIL is)
from the 'Babyboomer' Generation. (I am 34, a Gen-Xr myself) That
was a generation that SUPPOSEDLY prided themselves on 'thinking
outside the box' and 'questioning convention' etc etc etc... Well...
I suppose that must've only applied to questioning the convention's
that THEY wanted to... Since my MIL and many of her generation seem
to come unglued at the thought of long-term nursing, co-sleeping,
homeschooling (or God Forbid! Unschooling!!!). Yet the same people
seem to have no problem with the practice of dropping a 6wk old
child off in Daycare (or Paycare or whatever you want to call it)
and I am sure that the same people wouldn't be as shocked if your
son had gone and gotten some girl pregnant at 12 than they were at
him watching his Mum bring his sister in the world... Ok... Who's on
a rant now? Me! Guilty! I will probably get cross words from some
people for such broad generalizations, but I was just musing about
these things and as I sat down to type a response, out they came...

Smiles,
Heather

--- In [email protected], "rshoulla" <rshoulla@...>
wrote:
>
> Our two youngest are 2 and 1 and the littlest co-sleeps every
night,
> the 2yo only sometimes either with me or our 13yo ds. The past
few
> months the 1yo has started tossing and turning, which doesn't
bother
> me at all, but keeps my dh up all night so he's taken to sleeping
> whereever he feels comfortable - the 2yo's twin bed, the couch,
our
> oldest's bed when he's not home... Our dd (1yo) still does most of
> her nursing at night, like every 2-3 hours, we both sleep through
> it ... ah, the joys of co-sleeping. My dh could care less about
> where he sleeps and finds the nursing much more important and
> realizes this too shall pass when the time is right. So we're all
> happy with the situation.
>
> I, however, made the stupid mistake of casually mentioning this in
> conversation with some relatives. Now I'm privy to all sorts of
> unsolicited advice and judgement. My sister thinks it's awful
that
> our 2yo is allowed to sleep with me in bed, in his own bed, on our
> bedroom floor, camping in the living room or anywhere he decides
> he's comfortable. She thinks he needs "routine." I say, this IS
> our routine and we're all pretty happy with it. Am I crazy? Does
> anyone here thing 2yo is too young to have this kind of freedom?
He
> gets plenty of sleep, is healthy, very active and so happy
complete
> strangers comment on a regular basis on what a happy, loving he
> child he is.
>
> My aunt thinks we're sabotaging our marriage and won't ever have
> time for intimacy (as adults, we've figured this one out too!).
Has
> anyone else had this in their marriage? We seem to be doing fine,
> but they've made me feel like I'm making all the wrong choices and
> will pay for it later in irreversible consequences.
>
> Thanks,
> Robin
>

riasplace3

--- In [email protected], "Heather" <johevili72@...>
wrote:
after my Mother-In-Law took me to task yet
> again for our co-sleeping with our kids. (son 3.5 and daughter
> almost 2)

This has just been on my mind ever since this thread was started...
My "little" brother has been co-cleeping since birth, he's just moved
into his own room-some of the time-this fall. He's 14. He's the most
loving, sweetest guy ever!
Really, it's only the business of the people in the bed who else is in
there.

Just my .02 cents. ; )
Ria

Kelly Weyd

You have been married for 15 years, since you were 19 by my calculations........yet your MIL is worried about your marriage because the kids are sleeping in your bed. I think 15 years speaks for itself. I think if the marriage was gonna be in trouble it would not have anything to do with the kids in your bed. Like someone said people think of the bed as sexual type of place, when that stuff can happen other places. But same goes for the marriage in general........the marriage does not just exist in the bedroom only.
Kelly

Heather <johevili72@...> wrote:
Robin,

I feel your pain... I asked the same sort of question of the group
about a week ago myself after my Mother-In-Law took me to task yet
again for our co-sleeping with our kids. (son 3.5 and daughter
almost 2) My daughter still nurses at night and my son is a very
sensitive little guy who just sleeps better with us (he wakes up on
occaision still and, finding us there ready to rub his back or hold
his hand, goes back to sleep pretty much right away) I took the
advice of many on the group and addressed it with my MIL. I wrote
her an e-mail and attached several co-sleeping articles that someone
had sent me the link to that talked about the benefits of
cosleeping. I am not sure she read them, but now that I've sent them
to her, I don't plan to ever let her bring it up with me again. I
thought it was great, the person who commented that 'if she's
worried about your sex life, you could give her the details and
that'd shut her up pretty quick'... Laughed out loud at that one! I
think, even if we didn't co-sleep with our kids, or especially if we
didn't, we'd still have to be 'creative' about our sex life at this
stage of our lives (having small kids). If we didn't cosleep, I
suspect that bedtime would be such a stressful time that after we
finally 'fought the kids' into bed, we'd likely be so drained that
we'd be like 'forget it, I am tired!" LOL! B/t/w my husband also
sleeps on the couch or in the 'kids room' sometimes... He's been an
insomniac his whole life (hmmmm... Wonder if he'd have had that
problem if his parents had EVER let him have a bit of comfort at
night, but I digress...) and so he sort of sleeps where he CAN
sleep... But he's been that way our whole marriage (15yrs) and our
kids are only 3.5 and ~2, so I don't see how they or cosleeping
could be 'blamed' for that...

What irritates me, and has been on my mind lately, is that many of
the naysayers I've read about are (I suspect and I know my MIL is)
from the 'Babyboomer' Generation. (I am 34, a Gen-Xr myself) That
was a generation that SUPPOSEDLY prided themselves on 'thinking
outside the box' and 'questioning convention' etc etc etc... Well...
I suppose that must've only applied to questioning the convention's
that THEY wanted to... Since my MIL and many of her generation seem
to come unglued at the thought of long-term nursing, co-sleeping,
homeschooling (or God Forbid! Unschooling!!!). Yet the same people
seem to have no problem with the practice of dropping a 6wk old
child off in Daycare (or Paycare or whatever you want to call it)
and I am sure that the same people wouldn't be as shocked if your
son had gone and gotten some girl pregnant at 12 than they were at
him watching his Mum bring his sister in the world... Ok... Who's on
a rant now? Me! Guilty! I will probably get cross words from some
people for such broad generalizations, but I was just musing about
these things and as I sat down to type a response, out they came...

Smiles,
Heather

--- In [email protected], "rshoulla" <rshoulla@...>
wrote:
>
> Our two youngest are 2 and 1 and the littlest co-sleeps every
night,
> the 2yo only sometimes either with me or our 13yo ds. The past
few
> months the 1yo has started tossing and turning, which doesn't
bother
> me at all, but keeps my dh up all night so he's taken to sleeping
> whereever he feels comfortable - the 2yo's twin bed, the couch,
our
> oldest's bed when he's not home... Our dd (1yo) still does most of
> her nursing at night, like every 2-3 hours, we both sleep through
> it ... ah, the joys of co-sleeping. My dh could care less about
> where he sleeps and finds the nursing much more important and
> realizes this too shall pass when the time is right. So we're all
> happy with the situation.
>
> I, however, made the stupid mistake of casually mentioning this in
> conversation with some relatives. Now I'm privy to all sorts of
> unsolicited advice and judgement. My sister thinks it's awful
that
> our 2yo is allowed to sleep with me in bed, in his own bed, on our
> bedroom floor, camping in the living room or anywhere he decides
> he's comfortable. She thinks he needs "routine." I say, this IS
> our routine and we're all pretty happy with it. Am I crazy? Does
> anyone here thing 2yo is too young to have this kind of freedom?
He
> gets plenty of sleep, is healthy, very active and so happy
complete
> strangers comment on a regular basis on what a happy, loving he
> child he is.
>
> My aunt thinks we're sabotaging our marriage and won't ever have
> time for intimacy (as adults, we've figured this one out too!).
Has
> anyone else had this in their marriage? We seem to be doing fine,
> but they've made me feel like I'm making all the wrong choices and
> will pay for it later in irreversible consequences.
>
> Thanks,
> Robin
>






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heather

Kelly,

Amen! We've 'survived' in our marriage through my hubby bein' in
the Army for four of them (and he was gone through deployements etc
for two of those years) and adjusting to civilian life (after four
yrs of Army and our whole lives as Military 'Brats') and moves
across the country and changing careers etc etc etc... I am pretty
sure that our sleeping arraingements won't be the death of our
marriage... ;) Not to mention, we got married as 'teenagers' and
everyone at our wedding thought we'd be done in 6mnths at that
point, so I think we're here to 'stay' as a couple. Too bad she
(MIL) can't have a little more faith in that... But I am not
worrying about it anymore. Just going to live my life, our lives, in
ways that make us happy and try and ignore people's 'reviews'. One
nice thing about having been married 15 yrs (and since I was 18, [I
just turned 34 last month) is that it helps you put time in
perspective... It feels like just yesterday I GOT MARRIED and by
those calculations, our kids will also be grown in a blink of an eye
and I'll be missing them, not only the sweet cuddles we have as we
all wake up, but them being in our home as before I know it, they'll
be off living thier own lives. Thank God I listen to my gut and
enjoy my sweet babies despite 'naysayers'! ;)

Smiles,
Heather

--- In [email protected], Kelly Weyd <kellmar98@...>
wrote:
>
> You have been married for 15 years, since you were 19 by my
calculations........yet your MIL is worried about your marriage
because the kids are sleeping in your bed. I think 15 years speaks
for itself. I think if the marriage was gonna be in trouble it
would not have anything to do with the kids in your bed. Like
someone said people think of the bed as sexual type of place, when
that stuff can happen other places. But same goes for the marriage
in general........the marriage does not just exist in the bedroom
only.
> Kelly
>
> Heather <johevili72@...> wrote:
> Robin,
>
> I feel your pain... I asked the same sort of question of the group
> about a week ago myself after my Mother-In-Law took me to task yet
> again for our co-sleeping with our kids. (son 3.5 and daughter
> almost 2) My daughter still nurses at night and my son is a very
> sensitive little guy who just sleeps better with us (he wakes up
on
> occaision still and, finding us there ready to rub his back or
hold
> his hand, goes back to sleep pretty much right away) I took the
> advice of many on the group and addressed it with my MIL. I wrote
> her an e-mail and attached several co-sleeping articles that
someone
> had sent me the link to that talked about the benefits of
> cosleeping. I am not sure she read them, but now that I've sent
them
> to her, I don't plan to ever let her bring it up with me again. I
> thought it was great, the person who commented that 'if she's
> worried about your sex life, you could give her the details and
> that'd shut her up pretty quick'... Laughed out loud at that one!
I
> think, even if we didn't co-sleep with our kids, or especially if
we
> didn't, we'd still have to be 'creative' about our sex life at
this
> stage of our lives (having small kids). If we didn't cosleep, I
> suspect that bedtime would be such a stressful time that after we
> finally 'fought the kids' into bed, we'd likely be so drained that
> we'd be like 'forget it, I am tired!" LOL! B/t/w my husband also
> sleeps on the couch or in the 'kids room' sometimes... He's been
an
> insomniac his whole life (hmmmm... Wonder if he'd have had that
> problem if his parents had EVER let him have a bit of comfort at
> night, but I digress...) and so he sort of sleeps where he CAN
> sleep... But he's been that way our whole marriage (15yrs) and our
> kids are only 3.5 and ~2, so I don't see how they or cosleeping
> could be 'blamed' for that...
>
> What irritates me, and has been on my mind lately, is that many of
> the naysayers I've read about are (I suspect and I know my MIL is)
> from the 'Babyboomer' Generation. (I am 34, a Gen-Xr myself) That
> was a generation that SUPPOSEDLY prided themselves on 'thinking
> outside the box' and 'questioning convention' etc etc etc...
Well...
> I suppose that must've only applied to questioning the
convention's
> that THEY wanted to... Since my MIL and many of her generation
seem
> to come unglued at the thought of long-term nursing, co-sleeping,
> homeschooling (or God Forbid! Unschooling!!!). Yet the same people
> seem to have no problem with the practice of dropping a 6wk old
> child off in Daycare (or Paycare or whatever you want to call it)
> and I am sure that the same people wouldn't be as shocked if your
> son had gone and gotten some girl pregnant at 12 than they were at
> him watching his Mum bring his sister in the world... Ok... Who's
on
> a rant now? Me! Guilty! I will probably get cross words from some
> people for such broad generalizations, but I was just musing about
> these things and as I sat down to type a response, out they
came...
>
> Smiles,
> Heather
>
> --- In [email protected], "rshoulla" <rshoulla@>
> wrote:
> >
> > Our two youngest are 2 and 1 and the littlest co-sleeps every
> night,
> > the 2yo only sometimes either with me or our 13yo ds. The past
> few
> > months the 1yo has started tossing and turning, which doesn't
> bother
> > me at all, but keeps my dh up all night so he's taken to
sleeping
> > whereever he feels comfortable - the 2yo's twin bed, the couch,
> our
> > oldest's bed when he's not home... Our dd (1yo) still does most
of
> > her nursing at night, like every 2-3 hours, we both sleep
through
> > it ... ah, the joys of co-sleeping. My dh could care less about
> > where he sleeps and finds the nursing much more important and
> > realizes this too shall pass when the time is right. So we're
all
> > happy with the situation.
> >
> > I, however, made the stupid mistake of casually mentioning this
in
> > conversation with some relatives. Now I'm privy to all sorts of
> > unsolicited advice and judgement. My sister thinks it's awful
> that
> > our 2yo is allowed to sleep with me in bed, in his own bed, on
our
> > bedroom floor, camping in the living room or anywhere he decides
> > he's comfortable. She thinks he needs "routine." I say, this IS
> > our routine and we're all pretty happy with it. Am I crazy? Does
> > anyone here thing 2yo is too young to have this kind of freedom?
> He
> > gets plenty of sleep, is healthy, very active and so happy
> complete
> > strangers comment on a regular basis on what a happy, loving he
> > child he is.
> >
> > My aunt thinks we're sabotaging our marriage and won't ever have
> > time for intimacy (as adults, we've figured this one out too!).
> Has
> > anyone else had this in their marriage? We seem to be doing
fine,
> > but they've made me feel like I'm making all the wrong choices
and
> > will pay for it later in irreversible consequences.
> >
> > Thanks,
> > Robin
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
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