Alice Roddy

Kelly wrote:
A child who is told he is "gifted" all his young

life and who has big things expected of him because of the labeling

(and DON'T think that doesn't happen every day!!), can easily feel like

a failure if he, not only doesn't live up to expectations, but doesn't

EXCEED expectations! It *can* damage him for life.

I heartily endorse this, having lived all my life as the younger sister of someone who couldn't possibly live up to the expectations placed upon him. He was (and I guess still is) very bright but what my parents didn't see or misinterpreted were signs that would now be recognized as obsessive-compulsive disorder and probably Asperger's. They weren't known when my brother was young in the 30s. Pushing him along a predetermined path rather than letting him seek his own was damaging for the whole family and disasterous for him.

I've tried all my life to figure out what the hell was going on in my family, why things just didn't seem to work. I quess the 'lemons' that were my family's dilemma became my 'lemonade' as I struggled to understand and to find a better way. I'm sure it has a lot to do with why I, an old lady, get home-based, interest-driven learning. Interestingly enough my kids, schooled as they were, don't really get it, at least not yet.

I find Faber and Mazlish's book Siblings Without Rivalry very helpful in making clear how and why positive labels are negative and I recommend it to anyone who thinks a label is OK as long at it is positive.


Gramma Alice

Breastfeeding is the biological norm for infants. It is a relationship that provides food, connection, protection from illness to the baby and stress reducing hormones to the mother.





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