cyberstalking/internet harassment/sexual predators
[email protected]
I dont know whether this is appropriate for this site as it has nothing to do with unschooling. But the subject has come up so I thought I would comment on what I have learned about the issue. If its not appropriate please let me know.
Cyberstalking is a form of internet harassment that sexual predators use. I would like to believe that unschoolers are immune to it but I doubt it. I have been in the unfortunate position of having witnessed it for myself, and therefore researched it and consulted with the police on it. Apparently every segment of the population, of every age and demographic group have been the victim of some form of cyberstalking and/or internet harassment. Sexual predators have a variety of techniques they use to "get" to children that include stalking (following the child to different sites and chat rooms) intimidation, threatening, gaining confidence, posing as someone they are not, etc. These guys are crafty and they dont just show up in a chat room and say "hey meet me at the mall." Often they will lurk sites and chatrooms for months and quietly gather information about a child and build a "portfolio" of the child well before they even contact the child. It is not difficult to find informatio
n on people in cyberspace. Kids have blogs and webpages and cyberpals. They post pictures of their friends on MySpace (or other sites) where the predator can get the email or IM/ICQ screennames of their friends and approach them posing as someone else to get information on the targe child. That is a very common tactic for predators-to get information through other kids. Sexual predators and internet harrassers take time to do what they do. They take time to build relationships, not only with the target child but with other children the target child communicates with in cyberspace. They are capable of gaining so much information about a child that when they make contact, they can choose a method that works on the child. Sometimes its a mild form of intimidation that escalates into a power play. The child gets a mildly insulting IM and feels indignant rather than threatened and responds by retort to "hold their own" in the conversation and therefore slips right into the power play t
he predator is seeking. Another tactic is to work to tear down the self-esteem of kids to make them vulnerable. Sometimes they use the information thay have gained to pose as someone the childs age, and they begin to "mirror" the child's vocabulary and emotional responses. Through thier internet surveillance activities they learn about something the child likes, and they use it to become someone the child thinks "understands me and is SO much like me!" They can nurture these relationships for a long time before they venture into anything that appears inappropriate. Other times they never reveal their true age and identity and when they finally set up a meeting, the child is met with a grown adult who sexually assaults them. There are also the "harassers," who have no intention of ever meeting a child, they just send threatening instant messages like this one sent to my friend's 12 y/o daughter: "Hey ugly bitch, you are so ugly you deserve to be SHOT. I know because I know where y
ou live and I've seen you. You'd better suck my cock when I come over. And then swallow and I'll let you go." There are dangerous people trolling the internet. Blocking this guy's screenname did nothing. He just created a new one and showed up again. This kind of harassment is terrifying to anyone and even a kid who would never meet up in real life with anyone they met in cyberspace can be terrified by it. Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cyberstalking is a form of internet harassment that sexual predators use. I would like to believe that unschoolers are immune to it but I doubt it. I have been in the unfortunate position of having witnessed it for myself, and therefore researched it and consulted with the police on it. Apparently every segment of the population, of every age and demographic group have been the victim of some form of cyberstalking and/or internet harassment. Sexual predators have a variety of techniques they use to "get" to children that include stalking (following the child to different sites and chat rooms) intimidation, threatening, gaining confidence, posing as someone they are not, etc. These guys are crafty and they dont just show up in a chat room and say "hey meet me at the mall." Often they will lurk sites and chatrooms for months and quietly gather information about a child and build a "portfolio" of the child well before they even contact the child. It is not difficult to find informatio
n on people in cyberspace. Kids have blogs and webpages and cyberpals. They post pictures of their friends on MySpace (or other sites) where the predator can get the email or IM/ICQ screennames of their friends and approach them posing as someone else to get information on the targe child. That is a very common tactic for predators-to get information through other kids. Sexual predators and internet harrassers take time to do what they do. They take time to build relationships, not only with the target child but with other children the target child communicates with in cyberspace. They are capable of gaining so much information about a child that when they make contact, they can choose a method that works on the child. Sometimes its a mild form of intimidation that escalates into a power play. The child gets a mildly insulting IM and feels indignant rather than threatened and responds by retort to "hold their own" in the conversation and therefore slips right into the power play t
he predator is seeking. Another tactic is to work to tear down the self-esteem of kids to make them vulnerable. Sometimes they use the information thay have gained to pose as someone the childs age, and they begin to "mirror" the child's vocabulary and emotional responses. Through thier internet surveillance activities they learn about something the child likes, and they use it to become someone the child thinks "understands me and is SO much like me!" They can nurture these relationships for a long time before they venture into anything that appears inappropriate. Other times they never reveal their true age and identity and when they finally set up a meeting, the child is met with a grown adult who sexually assaults them. There are also the "harassers," who have no intention of ever meeting a child, they just send threatening instant messages like this one sent to my friend's 12 y/o daughter: "Hey ugly bitch, you are so ugly you deserve to be SHOT. I know because I know where y
ou live and I've seen you. You'd better suck my cock when I come over. And then swallow and I'll let you go." There are dangerous people trolling the internet. Blocking this guy's screenname did nothing. He just created a new one and showed up again. This kind of harassment is terrifying to anyone and even a kid who would never meet up in real life with anyone they met in cyberspace can be terrified by it. Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Weyd
Kathryn,
Thanks for posting this. Very Scary!
Kelly
airokat@... wrote:
I dont know whether this is appropriate for this site as it has nothing to do with unschooling. But the subject has come up so I thought I would comment on what I have learned about the issue. If its not appropriate please let me know.
Cyberstalking is a form of internet harassment that sexual predators use. I would like to believe that unschoolers are immune to it but I doubt it. I have been in the unfortunate position of having witnessed it for myself, and therefore researched it and consulted with the police on it. Apparently every segment of the population, of every age and demographic group have been the victim of some form of cyberstalking and/or internet harassment. Sexual predators have a variety of techniques they use to "get" to children that include stalking (following the child to different sites and chat rooms) intimidation, threatening, gaining confidence, posing as someone they are not, etc. These guys are crafty and they dont just show up in a chat room and say "hey meet me at the mall." Often they will lurk sites and chatrooms for months and quietly gather information about a child and build a "portfolio" of the child well before they even contact the child. It is not difficult to find
informatio
n on people in cyberspace. Kids have blogs and webpages and cyberpals. They post pictures of their friends on MySpace (or other sites) where the predator can get the email or IM/ICQ screennames of their friends and approach them posing as someone else to get information on the targe child. That is a very common tactic for predators-to get information through other kids. Sexual predators and internet harrassers take time to do what they do. They take time to build relationships, not only with the target child but with other children the target child communicates with in cyberspace. They are capable of gaining so much information about a child that when they make contact, they can choose a method that works on the child. Sometimes its a mild form of intimidation that escalates into a power play. The child gets a mildly insulting IM and feels indignant rather than threatened and responds by retort to "hold their own" in the conversation and therefore slips right into the power
play t
he predator is seeking. Another tactic is to work to tear down the self-esteem of kids to make them vulnerable. Sometimes they use the information thay have gained to pose as someone the childs age, and they begin to "mirror" the child's vocabulary and emotional responses. Through thier internet surveillance activities they learn about something the child likes, and they use it to become someone the child thinks "understands me and is SO much like me!" They can nurture these relationships for a long time before they venture into anything that appears inappropriate. Other times they never reveal their true age and identity and when they finally set up a meeting, the child is met with a grown adult who sexually assaults them. There are also the "harassers," who have no intention of ever meeting a child, they just send threatening instant messages like this one sent to my friend's 12 y/o daughter: "Hey ugly bitch, you are so ugly you deserve to be SHOT. I know because I know
where y
ou live and I've seen you. You'd better suck my cock when I come over. And then swallow and I'll let you go." There are dangerous people trolling the internet. Blocking this guy's screenname did nothing. He just created a new one and showed up again. This kind of harassment is terrifying to anyone and even a kid who would never meet up in real life with anyone they met in cyberspace can be terrified by it. Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thanks for posting this. Very Scary!
Kelly
airokat@... wrote:
I dont know whether this is appropriate for this site as it has nothing to do with unschooling. But the subject has come up so I thought I would comment on what I have learned about the issue. If its not appropriate please let me know.
Cyberstalking is a form of internet harassment that sexual predators use. I would like to believe that unschoolers are immune to it but I doubt it. I have been in the unfortunate position of having witnessed it for myself, and therefore researched it and consulted with the police on it. Apparently every segment of the population, of every age and demographic group have been the victim of some form of cyberstalking and/or internet harassment. Sexual predators have a variety of techniques they use to "get" to children that include stalking (following the child to different sites and chat rooms) intimidation, threatening, gaining confidence, posing as someone they are not, etc. These guys are crafty and they dont just show up in a chat room and say "hey meet me at the mall." Often they will lurk sites and chatrooms for months and quietly gather information about a child and build a "portfolio" of the child well before they even contact the child. It is not difficult to find
informatio
n on people in cyberspace. Kids have blogs and webpages and cyberpals. They post pictures of their friends on MySpace (or other sites) where the predator can get the email or IM/ICQ screennames of their friends and approach them posing as someone else to get information on the targe child. That is a very common tactic for predators-to get information through other kids. Sexual predators and internet harrassers take time to do what they do. They take time to build relationships, not only with the target child but with other children the target child communicates with in cyberspace. They are capable of gaining so much information about a child that when they make contact, they can choose a method that works on the child. Sometimes its a mild form of intimidation that escalates into a power play. The child gets a mildly insulting IM and feels indignant rather than threatened and responds by retort to "hold their own" in the conversation and therefore slips right into the power
play t
he predator is seeking. Another tactic is to work to tear down the self-esteem of kids to make them vulnerable. Sometimes they use the information thay have gained to pose as someone the childs age, and they begin to "mirror" the child's vocabulary and emotional responses. Through thier internet surveillance activities they learn about something the child likes, and they use it to become someone the child thinks "understands me and is SO much like me!" They can nurture these relationships for a long time before they venture into anything that appears inappropriate. Other times they never reveal their true age and identity and when they finally set up a meeting, the child is met with a grown adult who sexually assaults them. There are also the "harassers," who have no intention of ever meeting a child, they just send threatening instant messages like this one sent to my friend's 12 y/o daughter: "Hey ugly bitch, you are so ugly you deserve to be SHOT. I know because I know
where y
ou live and I've seen you. You'd better suck my cock when I come over. And then swallow and I'll let you go." There are dangerous people trolling the internet. Blocking this guy's screenname did nothing. He just created a new one and showed up again. This kind of harassment is terrifying to anyone and even a kid who would never meet up in real life with anyone they met in cyberspace can be terrified by it. Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Want to start your own business? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], airokat@... wrote:
over my shoulder (he gets it from his dad!) and reading posts, and
he was fascinated: "Why the heck would an Adult want to have sex
with a Kid?" Thanks for providing me with an opportunity to chat
with him on the subject!
At his mom's home his computer use has been somewhat limited - and
obviously she hasn't had a meaningful conversation with him on the
subject. That's disturbing to me - and I can't help but wonder how
many other young teens are in the same boat. Its no wonder kids are
running into problematic situations if no-one is telling them
Anything.
Ray's gf is in a similar-but-different situation, she's been
*told* "you can't go on Myspace b/c there are evil people there
waiting to molest children". Since she knows a dozen kids IRL who
have Myspace accounts, she doesn't believe a word of it. Mom's a
nutcase, doesn't know what she's talking about. That may be even
worse than not telling a kid anything at all - now there's no way
this girl will ever tell her mom if she gets into Any kind of
sexually threatening situation.
Its so easy to undermine trust and so hard to build it back.
hands or you'll get hit by a car, brush your teeth or you'll lose
them, go to school or you'll be a dummy. Its no wonder kids are
vulnerable to it.
ribbons Already. Last night we were talking about....what the heck
was it...oh, I know! our neighbor Mir was over and made a pun about
Ray's name - Rayan//rayon. I could tell Ray was feeling a little
defensive about being compared to a piece of fabric so I
deliberately made a comment along the lines of "well, I wouldn't
want you for a table-cloth, but I also don't thing a piece of fabric
is nearly as fun and interesting to talk to as you are". He was
flabergasted.
It's not going to foster his self-esteem to limit his computer use
or tell him he's "too young to know better" though. Nor will it
improve our communication.
Oops, now my 5yr old is telling me its time to limit *my* computer
use ;)
---Meredith (Mo 5, dss Ray 13)
>Sexual predators and internet harrassers take time to do what theyUseful information, to be sure. My stepson has been enjoying lurking
>do. They take time to build relationships, not only with the target
>child but with other children the target child communicates with in
>cyberspace. They are capable of gaining so much information about a
>child that when they make contact, they can choose a method that
>works on the child. Sometimes its a mild form of intimidation that
>escalates into a power play. The child gets a mildly insulting IM
>and feels indignant rather than threatened and responds by retort
>to "hold their own" in the conversation and therefore slips right
>into the power play the predator is seeking. Another tactic is to
>work to tear down the self-esteem of kids to make them vulnerable.
over my shoulder (he gets it from his dad!) and reading posts, and
he was fascinated: "Why the heck would an Adult want to have sex
with a Kid?" Thanks for providing me with an opportunity to chat
with him on the subject!
At his mom's home his computer use has been somewhat limited - and
obviously she hasn't had a meaningful conversation with him on the
subject. That's disturbing to me - and I can't help but wonder how
many other young teens are in the same boat. Its no wonder kids are
running into problematic situations if no-one is telling them
Anything.
Ray's gf is in a similar-but-different situation, she's been
*told* "you can't go on Myspace b/c there are evil people there
waiting to molest children". Since she knows a dozen kids IRL who
have Myspace accounts, she doesn't believe a word of it. Mom's a
nutcase, doesn't know what she's talking about. That may be even
worse than not telling a kid anything at all - now there's no way
this girl will ever tell her mom if she gets into Any kind of
sexually threatening situation.
Its so easy to undermine trust and so hard to build it back.
>Sometimes its a mild form of intimidation that escalates into aSo much traditional parenting revolves around this very idea: hold
>power play
hands or you'll get hit by a car, brush your teeth or you'll lose
them, go to school or you'll be a dummy. Its no wonder kids are
vulnerable to it.
>Another tactic is to work to tear down the self-esteem of kids toThis one worries me most, b/c Ray's had his self-esteem slashed to
>make them vulnerable.
ribbons Already. Last night we were talking about....what the heck
was it...oh, I know! our neighbor Mir was over and made a pun about
Ray's name - Rayan//rayon. I could tell Ray was feeling a little
defensive about being compared to a piece of fabric so I
deliberately made a comment along the lines of "well, I wouldn't
want you for a table-cloth, but I also don't thing a piece of fabric
is nearly as fun and interesting to talk to as you are". He was
flabergasted.
It's not going to foster his self-esteem to limit his computer use
or tell him he's "too young to know better" though. Nor will it
improve our communication.
Oops, now my 5yr old is telling me its time to limit *my* computer
use ;)
---Meredith (Mo 5, dss Ray 13)