Sandy

We are a few weeks into deschooling and dh hasn't said one negative
thing. I've forwarded short snippets of articles from Sandra Dodd's
and Joyce Fetteroll's websites about deschooling and gaming, I'm not
sure if he is reading them but I'm sending them anyway.

Zak seems to be going through what I believe Kelly said that her son
Cameron went through; a dark time. He is joyful when playing
RuneScape but when we go somewhere or anything like that he seems very
depressed. I must say that it is very, very hard for me to watch him
go through this. He still loves to play the guitar but his Bonsai
desire when right out the door. He said that ALL he wants to do is
play Runescape and the guitar. RuneScape is played literally from
7-10 hours a day, he doesn't want to go outside or anything. I've let
him know that if there are any outside activities that he wants to do
like sports, karate, etc. all he has to do is let us know. He says,
"I only want to play RuneScape and the guitar. When I'm away from
RuneScape it is all I think about. We've gone to museums and parks
and walks, he just has a very moopy expression. He keeps insisting
that he is happy. We also have almost no social life because most of
his friends are busy participating in things outside of the home so
everyone is literally too busy for us and he has no desire to play or
participate in what his friends are doing.

I have NO intentions of giving up, just sharing. We have great
conversations and everything and he tells me he doesn't want to ever
go to school. As a matter of fact, he wants to quit blended school
(which is one day a week) because he finds it boring and this despite
the fact that is where most of his friends are. I ask him all the
time about his game and I am genuinely interested in hearing about
what he finds so fascinating about it; he glows and is all smiles
telling me about various challenges and how he only has so many to go
before reaching another level, etc.

Maybe I'm reading too much into what I see as him being depressed? I
love him so much but hate seeing him sad. He really had it tough with
me over the years (keep in mind that I was a bible thumper from ages
5-10 with him...no Christmas, no Easter, nothing)its now been over 2
years since I deconverted from the Christian religion.

Our 8yo dd is doing wonderful, she was never as badly "damaged" as our
12yo ds though. It mattered not what kind of homeschooling we did, it
never stopped creativity nor did it ever hinder her love for learning,
but unlike her brother, she always "got it". She isn't better or
smarter than him but to put it in better prespective, she'd probably
fit easily into public schools and make all A's with little effort.
However, she has absolutely no desire to go to school at all. :-)

I'm finished rambling...

~Sandy

Ren Allen

Hang in there Sandy!! He's doing some serious healing. Runescape is a
fabulous mind challenge, so he's going to be learning a lot while he's
doing this necessary work of healing. It might take a year, it might
take longer. Keep on trusting him.

Take him food, watch him play, ask him questions.
And don't worry about the future, it will take care of itself. Those
gamers are going on to do great things!:)

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Sandy

> Hang in there Sandy!! He's doing some serious healing. Runescape is a
> fabulous mind challenge, so he's going to be learning a lot while he's
> doing this necessary work of healing. It might take a year, it might
> take longer. Keep on trusting him.

I will. :-)


> Take him food, watch him play, ask him questions.
> And don't worry about the future, it will take care of itself. Those
> gamers are going on to do great things!:)


Will do and thank you.

~Sandy :-)

Joanne

Hi Sandy...

I just wanted to offer a bit of "been there, done that". Hang in
there, sounds like you're doing fine. :-)
I think it's so important for us as parents, to deschool ourselves
also. Sometimes it's hard for us to do that than for our kids to.

Here's some thoughts on deschooling that may be of use.
http://tinyurl.com/ymudas


~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (8), Shawna (11) & Cimion (14)
Adopted into our hearts October 2003
************************************
Unschooling Voices ~ Add Your Voice
www.foreverparents.com/UnschoolingVoices.html




--- In [email protected], "Sandy"
<sereneaspirations@...> wrote:
>
> We are a few weeks into deschooling and dh hasn't said one negative
> thing. I've forwarded short snippets of articles from Sandra
Dodd's
> and Joyce Fetteroll's websites about deschooling and gaming, I'm
not
> sure if he is reading them but I'm sending them anyway.
>
> Zak seems to be going through what I believe Kelly said that her
son
> Cameron went through; a dark time. He is joyful when playing
> RuneScape but when we go somewhere or anything like that he seems
very
> depressed. I must say that it is very, very hard for me to watch
him
> go through this. He still loves to play the guitar but his Bonsai
> desire when right out the door. He said that ALL he wants to do is
> play Runescape and the guitar. RuneScape is played literally from
> 7-10 hours a day, he doesn't want to go outside or anything. I've
let
> him know that if there are any outside activities that he wants to
do
> like sports, karate, etc. all he has to do is let us know. He
says,
> "I only want to play RuneScape and the guitar. When I'm away from
> RuneScape it is all I think about. We've gone to museums and parks
> and walks, he just has a very moopy expression. He keeps insisting
> that he is happy. We also have almost no social life because most
of
> his friends are busy participating in things outside of the home so
> everyone is literally too busy for us and he has no desire to play
or
> participate in what his friends are doing.
>
> I have NO intentions of giving up, just sharing. We have great
> conversations and everything and he tells me he doesn't want to
ever
> go to school. As a matter of fact, he wants to quit blended school
> (which is one day a week) because he finds it boring and this
despite
> the fact that is where most of his friends are. I ask him all the
> time about his game and I am genuinely interested in hearing about
> what he finds so fascinating about it; he glows and is all smiles
> telling me about various challenges and how he only has so many to
go
> before reaching another level, etc.
>
> Maybe I'm reading too much into what I see as him being
depressed? I
> love him so much but hate seeing him sad. He really had it tough
with
> me over the years (keep in mind that I was a bible thumper from
ages
> 5-10 with him...no Christmas, no Easter, nothing)its now been over
2
> years since I deconverted from the Christian religion.
>
> Our 8yo dd is doing wonderful, she was never as badly "damaged" as
our
> 12yo ds though. It mattered not what kind of homeschooling we
did, it
> never stopped creativity nor did it ever hinder her love for
learning,
> but unlike her brother, she always "got it". She isn't better or
> smarter than him but to put it in better prespective, she'd
probably
> fit easily into public schools and make all A's with little
effort.
> However, she has absolutely no desire to go to school at all. :-)
>
> I'm finished rambling...
>
> ~Sandy
>

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: sereneaspirations@...

Maybe I'm reading too much into what I see as him being depressed? I
love him so much but hate seeing him sad. He really had it tough with
me over the years (keep in mind that I was a bible thumper from ages
5-10 with him...no Christmas, no Easter, nothing)its now been over 2
years since I deconverted from the Christian religion.


-=-=-==-=

My dad's a psychiatrist. His first question to people who come in for
depression is, "What do you do for fun?"

Their answers can be very helpful in diagnosing depression. If your son
is DOING what makes him happy---going after it, it's probably not
*depression*. I'd say he's just *really* focused! <g>

Keep giving him what he needs. Keep offering alternatives. Revel in
what he delights in.

He won't play Runescape only for the rest of his life. He'll grow and
change. Five years from now, you'll look back and laugh! <G>

~Kelly
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