unschool an aspie?
thisismaggiesemailaddress
Hi,
Is there anyone out there unschooling a child with Asperger's
syndrome? I'd love to hear from someone in a similar circumstance and
unschooling.
I've recently met someone who has a child similar to my son and after
speaking to the mother I really feel for her, but there's something I
don't get. She feels raising her child is very challenging and has
her son in a lot of different programs to help him.
I can't help but wonder if I'm doing a disservice to my son, however
to us he seems just fine so I don't know. Are special social skill
classes etc necessary or can we continue teaching him as we go about
our life? It seems to work but am I wrong.
The other day she told me that she fought with her son for 2 hrs and
wanted to know if that ever happened to me. It never has. I have a
very happy child. ( just lucky?)
I've given him a lot of freedom. If he wants to eat ketchup on a
fried egg, fine, go ahead. Don't want a jacket? That's fine, it's in
the car if you change your mind. Paper air plane in the living room?
Hang a ghost from the light? Knock yourself out. :-)
My concern, is it ok to give such a child all the freedom I'm giving
him? Will I hurt him in the long run? Is it ok to totally unschool an
aspie? He's learning tons and I like him the way he is. He's friendly
and easy to get along with.
I'd love to here from someone who may know.
Thanks for listening to my rambling and for any comments. Hope you
all have a great day!
Maggie
Is there anyone out there unschooling a child with Asperger's
syndrome? I'd love to hear from someone in a similar circumstance and
unschooling.
I've recently met someone who has a child similar to my son and after
speaking to the mother I really feel for her, but there's something I
don't get. She feels raising her child is very challenging and has
her son in a lot of different programs to help him.
I can't help but wonder if I'm doing a disservice to my son, however
to us he seems just fine so I don't know. Are special social skill
classes etc necessary or can we continue teaching him as we go about
our life? It seems to work but am I wrong.
The other day she told me that she fought with her son for 2 hrs and
wanted to know if that ever happened to me. It never has. I have a
very happy child. ( just lucky?)
I've given him a lot of freedom. If he wants to eat ketchup on a
fried egg, fine, go ahead. Don't want a jacket? That's fine, it's in
the car if you change your mind. Paper air plane in the living room?
Hang a ghost from the light? Knock yourself out. :-)
My concern, is it ok to give such a child all the freedom I'm giving
him? Will I hurt him in the long run? Is it ok to totally unschool an
aspie? He's learning tons and I like him the way he is. He's friendly
and easy to get along with.
I'd love to here from someone who may know.
Thanks for listening to my rambling and for any comments. Hope you
all have a great day!
Maggie
Ren Allen
~~My concern, is it ok to give such a child all the freedom I'm giving
him? Will I hurt him in the long run? Is it ok to totally unschool an
aspie? He's learning tons and I like him the way he is. He's friendly
and easy to get along with.~~
Isn't his happiness enough to let you know that you're doing just fine?
Why would you want to emulate someone that fought with her child for
TWO hours?? Yuck.
Keep trusting him. I think children with these traits are MUCH better
served with the unschooling lifestyle and have less challenges as
adults because of that freedom.
It sounds like he's happy and learning, what more could you want?
And yes, there are a lot of families dealing with Aspergers and Autism
traits.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
him? Will I hurt him in the long run? Is it ok to totally unschool an
aspie? He's learning tons and I like him the way he is. He's friendly
and easy to get along with.~~
Isn't his happiness enough to let you know that you're doing just fine?
Why would you want to emulate someone that fought with her child for
TWO hours?? Yuck.
Keep trusting him. I think children with these traits are MUCH better
served with the unschooling lifestyle and have less challenges as
adults because of that freedom.
It sounds like he's happy and learning, what more could you want?
And yes, there are a lot of families dealing with Aspergers and Autism
traits.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Michelle Leifur Reid
On 11/16/06, thisismaggiesemailaddress
<thisismaggiesemailaddress@...> wrote:
argument for 2 HOURS with her child?
My question would be, if your child is happy, friendly, easy to get
along with, and learning tons, why wouldn't you want to continue doing
what you are doing? It sounds as if something is working right. :)
What is it you feel he would be missing by going to traditional
schools? What do you think he would gain from such a venture? Can
you meet his needs yourself? Unfortunately, I have met many parents
who have the attitude of "This is too hard for me so I am going to let
someone else deal with this." (This being their child.) I ran into a
high school friend the other day. She is a local "celebrity" in that
she had a set of quints 11 years ago (they are the same age almost to
the day as my 11 year old.) We chatted for a while as I watched her
boys reading books and loving being in a bookstore. She asked me what
grade the kids were in now and I said, "Um, I don't know. We
homeschool and I don't keep up with grades." She then went on about
how hard it was to raise 5 children and how she was SO glad that there
was free public education so she didn't have to "deal" with her
children all day and how she could never homeschool because her
children are so vastly different with IQ's from 95 to 170 and it
wouldn't be fair to homeschool them since the smart one would make the
not-so-smart one feel stupid all the time. Yet she has her children
(all age 11) in three different grade levels and in two different
schools. Yeah, that's fair. All I could think about was how cool her
kids are and how much fun it would be to set out on an adventure with
the five of them and explore the all the world had to offer. All she
could see was work. She thought I was "wonderful" to be able to
homeschool my three vastly different kids. I just had to chuckle to
myself because she just didn't get it.
I'm betting your friend doesn't get it either. The system has made
raising a child with different needs seem more difficult than it is.
I bet with some gentle parenting and some reevaluation as to what is
important that the arguments and such would diminish greatly.
Michelle
<thisismaggiesemailaddress@...> wrote:
> The other day she told me that she fought with her son for 2 hrs andWow, what was so important that she felt it necessary to continue and
> wanted to know if that ever happened to me. It never has. I have a
> very happy child. ( just lucky?)
argument for 2 HOURS with her child?
> My concern, is it ok to give such a child all the freedom I'm givingI have a child who is in the autistic spectrum with aspie tendencies.
> him? Will I hurt him in the long run? Is it ok to totally unschool an
> aspie? He's learning tons and I like him the way he is. He's friendly
> and easy to get along with.
My question would be, if your child is happy, friendly, easy to get
along with, and learning tons, why wouldn't you want to continue doing
what you are doing? It sounds as if something is working right. :)
What is it you feel he would be missing by going to traditional
schools? What do you think he would gain from such a venture? Can
you meet his needs yourself? Unfortunately, I have met many parents
who have the attitude of "This is too hard for me so I am going to let
someone else deal with this." (This being their child.) I ran into a
high school friend the other day. She is a local "celebrity" in that
she had a set of quints 11 years ago (they are the same age almost to
the day as my 11 year old.) We chatted for a while as I watched her
boys reading books and loving being in a bookstore. She asked me what
grade the kids were in now and I said, "Um, I don't know. We
homeschool and I don't keep up with grades." She then went on about
how hard it was to raise 5 children and how she was SO glad that there
was free public education so she didn't have to "deal" with her
children all day and how she could never homeschool because her
children are so vastly different with IQ's from 95 to 170 and it
wouldn't be fair to homeschool them since the smart one would make the
not-so-smart one feel stupid all the time. Yet she has her children
(all age 11) in three different grade levels and in two different
schools. Yeah, that's fair. All I could think about was how cool her
kids are and how much fun it would be to set out on an adventure with
the five of them and explore the all the world had to offer. All she
could see was work. She thought I was "wonderful" to be able to
homeschool my three vastly different kids. I just had to chuckle to
myself because she just didn't get it.
I'm betting your friend doesn't get it either. The system has made
raising a child with different needs seem more difficult than it is.
I bet with some gentle parenting and some reevaluation as to what is
important that the arguments and such would diminish greatly.
Michelle
Dawn Bennink
I know OF some families unschooling their children with Asperger's, and it's
working out very well for them. Have you thought about looking into an
Asperger's homeschooling yahoo group? There is at least one. I'm not sure
if anyone there could help you, but you never know.
Sorry I cannot offer first hand advice.
Dawn
working out very well for them. Have you thought about looking into an
Asperger's homeschooling yahoo group? There is at least one. I'm not sure
if anyone there could help you, but you never know.
Sorry I cannot offer first hand advice.
Dawn
Kelly Weyd
Oh Maggie, I'm so glad you posted. I have an undiagnosed Aspie. We are in the process of getting her diagnosed. She SOOOO fits the criteria though.........Terrible Social Skills, Hand Flapping, Rages, Anxieties and Fixations, Sensory Processing Disorder, the list goes on and on. Anyway my daughter is 6 and has Oh, so many issues we are dealing with right now. She flies into rages where she kicks and punches the walls, screams bloody murder.......I'm sure the neighbors will be calling the cops and or social services on us. She can't control her impulses......etc. etc. Now I know any number of parents also that say Oh, I can't deal with that, let the school system come up with a way to deal with that. NO WAY! I pulled my girls out of school in September and it's one of best darn decisions I ever made. My daughter hated school......both of my daughters actually. School put my daughter into sensory overload and she would come home after school and rage for two hours
everyday. She learns differently than other kids. The school system was not going to honor that. My daughter was expected to sit in a desk for long period. That just did a number on her sensory issues. Here at home she does not have to sit in a chair or desk. Often she eats while standing at the table or writes in her journal while standing. At school she was constantly in trouble, and for things I saw as non-issues.....but the school saw them as issues. I remember her coming home one day and saying she got in trouble because she was reading a book and would not put it down. OK, I get that the class was moving onto something else, but OMG it was a big eye opener for me. If my child wants to read for two hours why not? My daughter was also bored to tears in school. She was so far ahead of the other kids. It just was not gonna work. As far as classes/services/therapies etc. well that is up to each individual. We will probably get Mariah some Occupational
Therapy for her Sensory Issues. She has had it in the past and it's helped a lot. Other Therapies I am not sure yet. Now I have a friend that is an adult aspie. She to this day can't stand anything social. If you think you are going to her house for a BBQ......no way. But anyway she total functions in society. She has worked for the US Government for 20 years. She is extremely intelligent, has a advanced degree. She has two kids (one of them an aspie) and a husband. Her husband is kind of anti-social like her so it works out fine. She is happy and life is fine. Anyway my point to that is she tells me all the time about how school was pure hell for her. College and beyond were fine, because then it was on her terms. She sends her kids to an excellent private school for special needs kids, but she is strongly in favor of homeschooling. So I love having the adult aspie perspective on this one. So if you ask my opinion, Yes, an aspie can be homeschooled and/or
Unschooled. I love my daughter and I know I am doing the best thing for her. She loves being home and she loves learning in freedom. She's six, and just last night wrote a book about gardening with illustrations and all. She did it because she wanted to and enjoyed it, not because it was being forced on her. I am amazed at the wonderful things she does everyday. I hope I've eased your mind. I think you are doing the right thing.
Kelly
thisismaggiesemailaddress <thisismaggiesemailaddress@...> wrote:
Hi,
Is there anyone out there unschooling a child with Asperger's
syndrome? I'd love to hear from someone in a similar circumstance and
unschooling.
I've recently met someone who has a child similar to my son and after
speaking to the mother I really feel for her, but there's something I
don't get. She feels raising her child is very challenging and has
her son in a lot of different programs to help him.
I can't help but wonder if I'm doing a disservice to my son, however
to us he seems just fine so I don't know. Are special social skill
classes etc necessary or can we continue teaching him as we go about
our life? It seems to work but am I wrong.
The other day she told me that she fought with her son for 2 hrs and
wanted to know if that ever happened to me. It never has. I have a
very happy child. ( just lucky?)
I've given him a lot of freedom. If he wants to eat ketchup on a
fried egg, fine, go ahead. Don't want a jacket? That's fine, it's in
the car if you change your mind. Paper air plane in the living room?
Hang a ghost from the light? Knock yourself out. :-)
My concern, is it ok to give such a child all the freedom I'm giving
him? Will I hurt him in the long run? Is it ok to totally unschool an
aspie? He's learning tons and I like him the way he is. He's friendly
and easy to get along with.
I'd love to here from someone who may know.
Thanks for listening to my rambling and for any comments. Hope you
all have a great day!
Maggie
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
everyday. She learns differently than other kids. The school system was not going to honor that. My daughter was expected to sit in a desk for long period. That just did a number on her sensory issues. Here at home she does not have to sit in a chair or desk. Often she eats while standing at the table or writes in her journal while standing. At school she was constantly in trouble, and for things I saw as non-issues.....but the school saw them as issues. I remember her coming home one day and saying she got in trouble because she was reading a book and would not put it down. OK, I get that the class was moving onto something else, but OMG it was a big eye opener for me. If my child wants to read for two hours why not? My daughter was also bored to tears in school. She was so far ahead of the other kids. It just was not gonna work. As far as classes/services/therapies etc. well that is up to each individual. We will probably get Mariah some Occupational
Therapy for her Sensory Issues. She has had it in the past and it's helped a lot. Other Therapies I am not sure yet. Now I have a friend that is an adult aspie. She to this day can't stand anything social. If you think you are going to her house for a BBQ......no way. But anyway she total functions in society. She has worked for the US Government for 20 years. She is extremely intelligent, has a advanced degree. She has two kids (one of them an aspie) and a husband. Her husband is kind of anti-social like her so it works out fine. She is happy and life is fine. Anyway my point to that is she tells me all the time about how school was pure hell for her. College and beyond were fine, because then it was on her terms. She sends her kids to an excellent private school for special needs kids, but she is strongly in favor of homeschooling. So I love having the adult aspie perspective on this one. So if you ask my opinion, Yes, an aspie can be homeschooled and/or
Unschooled. I love my daughter and I know I am doing the best thing for her. She loves being home and she loves learning in freedom. She's six, and just last night wrote a book about gardening with illustrations and all. She did it because she wanted to and enjoyed it, not because it was being forced on her. I am amazed at the wonderful things she does everyday. I hope I've eased your mind. I think you are doing the right thing.
Kelly
thisismaggiesemailaddress <thisismaggiesemailaddress@...> wrote:
Hi,
Is there anyone out there unschooling a child with Asperger's
syndrome? I'd love to hear from someone in a similar circumstance and
unschooling.
I've recently met someone who has a child similar to my son and after
speaking to the mother I really feel for her, but there's something I
don't get. She feels raising her child is very challenging and has
her son in a lot of different programs to help him.
I can't help but wonder if I'm doing a disservice to my son, however
to us he seems just fine so I don't know. Are special social skill
classes etc necessary or can we continue teaching him as we go about
our life? It seems to work but am I wrong.
The other day she told me that she fought with her son for 2 hrs and
wanted to know if that ever happened to me. It never has. I have a
very happy child. ( just lucky?)
I've given him a lot of freedom. If he wants to eat ketchup on a
fried egg, fine, go ahead. Don't want a jacket? That's fine, it's in
the car if you change your mind. Paper air plane in the living room?
Hang a ghost from the light? Knock yourself out. :-)
My concern, is it ok to give such a child all the freedom I'm giving
him? Will I hurt him in the long run? Is it ok to totally unschool an
aspie? He's learning tons and I like him the way he is. He's friendly
and easy to get along with.
I'd love to here from someone who may know.
Thanks for listening to my rambling and for any comments. Hope you
all have a great day!
Maggie
---------------------------------
Sponsored Link
Mortgage rates near 39yr lows. $510,000 Mortgage for $1,698/mo - Calculate new house payment
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]