Sad News about our family
[email protected]
We have some very sad news to share. I am posting this to several groups,
and I hope you'll be patient with me.
As many of you know, our family began the process to adopt a child last
January. After the required classes and home study, we had a little girl named
Jackie, who is 5, placed with our family in July. She attended the Live and
Learn conference with us in Albuquerque.
We have had many struggles with Social Services, not getting much support or
information. And we have discovered that Jackie has many, many problems,
including significant mental illness. She has many needs that we are not
equipped to handle. Many of these should have been obvious to the professionals when
we were matched, but our home study was essentially ignored, as the social
workers chose us for Jackie for very bad reasons. We have found that the
things that are best about Beth and I as parents are the hardest things for
Jackie.
Beth and I, with Julian, have agonized over this decision and tried very
hard to make this work. We are not going to continue with the placement, and we
are working with our caseworkers to ensure that DSS does not fail Jackie
again. We love her very, very much, and we are heartbroken that for our family
and for Jackie, it is best for us to not parent her.
Jackie will be moving tomorrow to a specialized foster home to help
stabilize her and hopefully prepare her for a permanent home. The hope is that they
will be able to avoid residential treatment.
We are very sad about this, but we are also very clear that it is the right
decision for us and for Jackie. I just wanted to let people know.
Kathryn Baptista
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
and I hope you'll be patient with me.
As many of you know, our family began the process to adopt a child last
January. After the required classes and home study, we had a little girl named
Jackie, who is 5, placed with our family in July. She attended the Live and
Learn conference with us in Albuquerque.
We have had many struggles with Social Services, not getting much support or
information. And we have discovered that Jackie has many, many problems,
including significant mental illness. She has many needs that we are not
equipped to handle. Many of these should have been obvious to the professionals when
we were matched, but our home study was essentially ignored, as the social
workers chose us for Jackie for very bad reasons. We have found that the
things that are best about Beth and I as parents are the hardest things for
Jackie.
Beth and I, with Julian, have agonized over this decision and tried very
hard to make this work. We are not going to continue with the placement, and we
are working with our caseworkers to ensure that DSS does not fail Jackie
again. We love her very, very much, and we are heartbroken that for our family
and for Jackie, it is best for us to not parent her.
Jackie will be moving tomorrow to a specialized foster home to help
stabilize her and hopefully prepare her for a permanent home. The hope is that they
will be able to avoid residential treatment.
We are very sad about this, but we are also very clear that it is the right
decision for us and for Jackie. I just wanted to let people know.
Kathryn Baptista
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cookiebaker
So sorry to hear that. Best of everything to you and your family and especially little Jackie. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. :o)
Valerie K
Valerie K
----- Original Message -----
From: KathrynJB@...
To: [email protected] ; [email protected] ; [email protected] ; UnschoolingDiscussion@...
Sent: Wednesday, November 15, 2006 3:59 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Sad News about our family
We have some very sad news to share. I am posting this to several groups,
and I hope you'll be patient with me.
As many of you know, our family began the process to adopt a child last
January. After the required classes and home study, we had a little girl named
Jackie, who is 5, placed with our family in July. She attended the Live and
Learn conference with us in Albuquerque.
We have had many struggles with Social Services, not getting much support or
information. And we have discovered that Jackie has many, many problems,
including significant mental illness. She has many needs that we are not
equipped to handle. Many of these should have been obvious to the professionals when
we were matched, but our home study was essentially ignored, as the social
workers chose us for Jackie for very bad reasons. We have found that the
things that are best about Beth and I as parents are the hardest things for
Jackie.
Beth and I, with Julian, have agonized over this decision and tried very
hard to make this work. We are not going to continue with the placement, and we
are working with our caseworkers to ensure that DSS does not fail Jackie
again. We love her very, very much, and we are heartbroken that for our family
and for Jackie, it is best for us to not parent her.
Jackie will be moving tomorrow to a specialized foster home to help
stabilize her and hopefully prepare her for a permanent home. The hope is that they
will be able to avoid residential treatment.
We are very sad about this, but we are also very clear that it is the right
decision for us and for Jackie. I just wanted to let people know.
Kathryn Baptista
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Weyd
So sorry to hear this. I have to say I completely understand. I've been through it, more than once. Hubby and I were foster parents for 5 years. We adopted two of our foster children. One of which has problems and issues. We will be having her evaluated once again to try and get to the bottom of what those issues are, but she comes from two mentally ill birth parents. I know the heart break of having a child leave that the whole family has become attached to, and it's a pain that I can not even begin to describe. We also had a child placed with us that was a bad placement, and we were not informed prior about this little boys mental illness issues. We could not keep him, because he was harming our other children that were much smaller than him. The system is seriously in trouble. I hear stories like yours all the time where people are not told critical information. I'm sorry this happened to your family. I wish you all the best, and I wish little Jackie the
best.
Kelly
KathrynJB@... wrote:
We have some very sad news to share. I am posting this to several groups,
and I hope you'll be patient with me.
As many of you know, our family began the process to adopt a child last
January. After the required classes and home study, we had a little girl named
Jackie, who is 5, placed with our family in July. She attended the Live and
Learn conference with us in Albuquerque.
We have had many struggles with Social Services, not getting much support or
information. And we have discovered that Jackie has many, many problems,
including significant mental illness. She has many needs that we are not
equipped to handle. Many of these should have been obvious to the professionals when
we were matched, but our home study was essentially ignored, as the social
workers chose us for Jackie for very bad reasons. We have found that the
things that are best about Beth and I as parents are the hardest things for
Jackie.
Beth and I, with Julian, have agonized over this decision and tried very
hard to make this work. We are not going to continue with the placement, and we
are working with our caseworkers to ensure that DSS does not fail Jackie
again. We love her very, very much, and we are heartbroken that for our family
and for Jackie, it is best for us to not parent her.
Jackie will be moving tomorrow to a specialized foster home to help
stabilize her and hopefully prepare her for a permanent home. The hope is that they
will be able to avoid residential treatment.
We are very sad about this, but we are also very clear that it is the right
decision for us and for Jackie. I just wanted to let people know.
Kathryn Baptista
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
best.
Kelly
KathrynJB@... wrote:
We have some very sad news to share. I am posting this to several groups,
and I hope you'll be patient with me.
As many of you know, our family began the process to adopt a child last
January. After the required classes and home study, we had a little girl named
Jackie, who is 5, placed with our family in July. She attended the Live and
Learn conference with us in Albuquerque.
We have had many struggles with Social Services, not getting much support or
information. And we have discovered that Jackie has many, many problems,
including significant mental illness. She has many needs that we are not
equipped to handle. Many of these should have been obvious to the professionals when
we were matched, but our home study was essentially ignored, as the social
workers chose us for Jackie for very bad reasons. We have found that the
things that are best about Beth and I as parents are the hardest things for
Jackie.
Beth and I, with Julian, have agonized over this decision and tried very
hard to make this work. We are not going to continue with the placement, and we
are working with our caseworkers to ensure that DSS does not fail Jackie
again. We love her very, very much, and we are heartbroken that for our family
and for Jackie, it is best for us to not parent her.
Jackie will be moving tomorrow to a specialized foster home to help
stabilize her and hopefully prepare her for a permanent home. The hope is that they
will be able to avoid residential treatment.
We are very sad about this, but we are also very clear that it is the right
decision for us and for Jackie. I just wanted to let people know.
Kathryn Baptista
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Sponsored Link
Mortgage rates near 39yr lows. $310,000 Mortgage for $999/mo - Calculate new house payment
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanne
Kathryn,
We've posted back and forth about this at Forever Parents so I'll
keep this short and just give you a (((cyberhug))) and support
through this time. I know how hard it is.
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (8), Shawna (11) & Cimion (14)
Adopted into our hearts October 2003
************************************
Unschooling Voices ~ Add Your Voice
www.foreverparents.com/UnschoolingVoices.html
We've posted back and forth about this at Forever Parents so I'll
keep this short and just give you a (((cyberhug))) and support
through this time. I know how hard it is.
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (8), Shawna (11) & Cimion (14)
Adopted into our hearts October 2003
************************************
Unschooling Voices ~ Add Your Voice
www.foreverparents.com/UnschoolingVoices.html
--- In [email protected], KathrynJB@... wrote:
>
>
> We have some very sad news to share. I am posting this to several
groups,
> and I hope you'll be patient with me.
> As many of you know, our family began the process to adopt a child
last
> January. After the required classes and home study, we had a
little girl named
> Jackie, who is 5, placed with our family in July. She attended
the Live and
> Learn conference with us in Albuquerque.
> We have had many struggles with Social Services, not getting much
support or
> information. And we have discovered that Jackie has many, many
problems,
> including significant mental illness. She has many needs that we
are not
> equipped to handle. Many of these should have been obvious to the
professionals when
> we were matched, but our home study was essentially ignored, as
the social
> workers chose us for Jackie for very bad reasons. We have found
that the
> things that are best about Beth and I as parents are the hardest
things for
> Jackie.
> Beth and I, with Julian, have agonized over this decision and
tried very
> hard to make this work. We are not going to continue with the
placement, and we
> are working with our caseworkers to ensure that DSS does not
fail Jackie
> again. We love her very, very much, and we are heartbroken that
for our family
> and for Jackie, it is best for us to not parent her.
> Jackie will be moving tomorrow to a specialized foster home to
help
> stabilize her and hopefully prepare her for a permanent home. The
hope is that they
> will be able to avoid residential treatment.
> We are very sad about this, but we are also very clear that it is
the right
> decision for us and for Jackie. I just wanted to let people know.
> Kathryn Baptista
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Dawn Bennink
My heart goes out to you, to your family and to Jackie. I really believe
you are doing the absolute best thing.
A dear friend of mine had her family very nearly destroyed by adopting a
girl who they'd had off and on for years through the foster parent system.
She too had serious mental health issues which worsened as she went through
puberty. The girl is no longer in their home, but is safe and in treatment.
But by adopting her, they are completely responsible for her until she is an
adult. It is incredibly difficult, emotionally, physically and financially,
and heart-wrenching for the family and all of us who love them dearly. I am
glad that you were able to make the right call for your family and for
Jackie before it went any farther.
I'll light a candle of peace and calming for you this evening.
Dawn
you are doing the absolute best thing.
A dear friend of mine had her family very nearly destroyed by adopting a
girl who they'd had off and on for years through the foster parent system.
She too had serious mental health issues which worsened as she went through
puberty. The girl is no longer in their home, but is safe and in treatment.
But by adopting her, they are completely responsible for her until she is an
adult. It is incredibly difficult, emotionally, physically and financially,
and heart-wrenching for the family and all of us who love them dearly. I am
glad that you were able to make the right call for your family and for
Jackie before it went any farther.
I'll light a candle of peace and calming for you this evening.
Dawn
Sylvia Toyama
Oh, Kathryn & Beth, I am so sorry. I can not even imagine how you all must be feeling. I really enjoyed meeting Jackie. I still have the picture she colored for me pinned to the wall in my bedroom, and think of her sweet spirit every time I see it.
I hope whatever powers that be in this situation are able to find the best placement for Jackie, to best provide for her life and well being. I know she'll be blessed by your love for her, even tho your home isn't the right one for her.
I'll be thinking of you all.
Sylvia
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I hope whatever powers that be in this situation are able to find the best placement for Jackie, to best provide for her life and well being. I know she'll be blessed by your love for her, even tho your home isn't the right one for her.
I'll be thinking of you all.
Sylvia
---------------------------------
Sponsored Link
$200,000 mortgage for $660/mo - 30/15 yr fixed, reduce debt, home equity - Click now for info
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jlh44music
Kathryn, Beth and Julian,
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I know it must have been
a hard decision. I send you healing vibes and hope that things will
work out for Jackie. There are so many needy children, we can only
do our best.
Hugs,
Jann
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I know it must have been
a hard decision. I send you healing vibes and hope that things will
work out for Jackie. There are so many needy children, we can only
do our best.
Hugs,
Jann