That word "mess" was us/hs speakers
Deb Lewis
***As for their rooms and the sunroom we have (its our resource room -
puzzles, games, toys, building blocks, etc) they can make a mess all
they want. ***
It might be helpful to stop thinking of our children's things as "mess."
We have stuff around the house don't we? We put rugs on the floor and we
put doo-dads, plants, baskets, photos, vases, collectables, around the
house. Why are those things "decor" and our children's things "mess?"
It's true, my household "decor" is different from my rug making stuff when
I've pulled it out and I'm cutting, or whatever. And it's different from my
writing stuff when I have post-it notes sticking on everything or recipe
card notes spread out on the coffee table. But I seldom think of my stuff
as "mess." I think of it as "stuff." Is that not enough difference to
wonder about? <G>
If you think of your own stuff as "mess" maybe you could change that in your
minds to "stuff." Then you could begin to make that shift from negative to
positive. If you can view your things, your stuff, and your children's
stuff as belonging in the house equally with rugs and photos and whatnot
then it is less stress to you when "stuff" is left out.
There will be times when you want to move some stuff so people can sit and
eat or sit and watch TV or get up and dance but if it's not a "mess to clean
up" and it's simply "stuff to move or put away" it's different in your head,
it's not stress inducing, doesn't attach bad feelings or resentment.
I think my house could be a lot more convenient to my husband if I didn't
have a potted plant on every flat surface. He could stack his car manuals
there instead. If I didn't have wooden ducks on the piano he could put his
baseball caps up there. So, my "decor" really could be viewed by other
family members as "mess in the way of their stuff" if they wanted to look at
it like that.
If you (generic/general you) didn't have that table crammed with
photographs, couldn't your kids use it to build a Lego castle? Why haven't
you cleaned up that mess? <g>
Kids should be able to have their things around them. Kids are closer to
the floor and the seats of chairs and sofas. Those are the natural, logical
places for kid things. <g>
Deb Lewis
puzzles, games, toys, building blocks, etc) they can make a mess all
they want. ***
It might be helpful to stop thinking of our children's things as "mess."
We have stuff around the house don't we? We put rugs on the floor and we
put doo-dads, plants, baskets, photos, vases, collectables, around the
house. Why are those things "decor" and our children's things "mess?"
It's true, my household "decor" is different from my rug making stuff when
I've pulled it out and I'm cutting, or whatever. And it's different from my
writing stuff when I have post-it notes sticking on everything or recipe
card notes spread out on the coffee table. But I seldom think of my stuff
as "mess." I think of it as "stuff." Is that not enough difference to
wonder about? <G>
If you think of your own stuff as "mess" maybe you could change that in your
minds to "stuff." Then you could begin to make that shift from negative to
positive. If you can view your things, your stuff, and your children's
stuff as belonging in the house equally with rugs and photos and whatnot
then it is less stress to you when "stuff" is left out.
There will be times when you want to move some stuff so people can sit and
eat or sit and watch TV or get up and dance but if it's not a "mess to clean
up" and it's simply "stuff to move or put away" it's different in your head,
it's not stress inducing, doesn't attach bad feelings or resentment.
I think my house could be a lot more convenient to my husband if I didn't
have a potted plant on every flat surface. He could stack his car manuals
there instead. If I didn't have wooden ducks on the piano he could put his
baseball caps up there. So, my "decor" really could be viewed by other
family members as "mess in the way of their stuff" if they wanted to look at
it like that.
If you (generic/general you) didn't have that table crammed with
photographs, couldn't your kids use it to build a Lego castle? Why haven't
you cleaned up that mess? <g>
Kids should be able to have their things around them. Kids are closer to
the floor and the seats of chairs and sofas. Those are the natural, logical
places for kid things. <g>
Deb Lewis
Ren Allen
~~"It might be helpful to stop thinking of our children's things as
"mess.""~~
Good point.
Last summer when we were visiting family in Alaska, we stayed at my
Grandma's house for a few days. One afternoon we were all in a hurry
to get somewhere and we left a lot of toys all over her basement. On
the way out the door I said "Sorry we're leaving a disaster, we'll get
it when we get back" to which she responded
"Children's play is NOT disaster!!"
I just hugged her and told her how cool she is.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
"mess.""~~
Good point.
Last summer when we were visiting family in Alaska, we stayed at my
Grandma's house for a few days. One afternoon we were all in a hurry
to get somewhere and we left a lot of toys all over her basement. On
the way out the door I said "Sorry we're leaving a disaster, we'll get
it when we get back" to which she responded
"Children's play is NOT disaster!!"
I just hugged her and told her how cool she is.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Vickisue Gray
I agree...another post to send to my spouse, collector of stuff... <smiles>
----- Original Message ----
From: Deb Lewis <d.lewis@...>
To: UBLIST <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, October 21, 2006 10:26:35 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] That word "mess" was us/hs speakers
***As for their rooms and the sunroom we have (its our resource room -
puzzles, games, toys, building blocks, etc) they can make a mess all
they want. ***
It might be helpful to stop thinking of our children's things as "mess."
We have stuff around the house don't we? We put rugs on the floor and we
put doo-dads, plants, baskets, photos, vases, collectables, around the
house. Why are those things "decor" and our children's things "mess?"
It's true, my household "decor" is different from my rug making stuff when
I've pulled it out and I'm cutting, or whatever. And it's different from my
writing stuff when I have post-it notes sticking on everything or recipe
card notes spread out on the coffee table. But I seldom think of my stuff
as "mess." I think of it as "stuff." Is that not enough difference to
wonder about? <G>
If you think of your own stuff as "mess" maybe you could change that in your
minds to "stuff." Then you could begin to make that shift from negative to
positive. If you can view your things, your stuff, and your children's
stuff as belonging in the house equally with rugs and photos and whatnot
then it is less stress to you when "stuff" is left out.
There will be times when you want to move some stuff so people can sit and
eat or sit and watch TV or get up and dance but if it's not a "mess to clean
up" and it's simply "stuff to move or put away" it's different in your head,
it's not stress inducing, doesn't attach bad feelings or resentment.
I think my house could be a lot more convenient to my husband if I didn't
have a potted plant on every flat surface. He could stack his car manuals
there instead. If I didn't have wooden ducks on the piano he could put his
baseball caps up there. So, my "decor" really could be viewed by other
family members as "mess in the way of their stuff" if they wanted to look at
it like that.
If you (generic/general you) didn't have that table crammed with
photographs, couldn't your kids use it to build a Lego castle? Why haven't
you cleaned up that mess? <g>
Kids should be able to have their things around them. Kids are closer to
the floor and the seats of chairs and sofas. Those are the natural, logical
places for kid things. <g>
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
----- Original Message ----
From: Deb Lewis <d.lewis@...>
To: UBLIST <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, October 21, 2006 10:26:35 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] That word "mess" was us/hs speakers
***As for their rooms and the sunroom we have (its our resource room -
puzzles, games, toys, building blocks, etc) they can make a mess all
they want. ***
It might be helpful to stop thinking of our children's things as "mess."
We have stuff around the house don't we? We put rugs on the floor and we
put doo-dads, plants, baskets, photos, vases, collectables, around the
house. Why are those things "decor" and our children's things "mess?"
It's true, my household "decor" is different from my rug making stuff when
I've pulled it out and I'm cutting, or whatever. And it's different from my
writing stuff when I have post-it notes sticking on everything or recipe
card notes spread out on the coffee table. But I seldom think of my stuff
as "mess." I think of it as "stuff." Is that not enough difference to
wonder about? <G>
If you think of your own stuff as "mess" maybe you could change that in your
minds to "stuff." Then you could begin to make that shift from negative to
positive. If you can view your things, your stuff, and your children's
stuff as belonging in the house equally with rugs and photos and whatnot
then it is less stress to you when "stuff" is left out.
There will be times when you want to move some stuff so people can sit and
eat or sit and watch TV or get up and dance but if it's not a "mess to clean
up" and it's simply "stuff to move or put away" it's different in your head,
it's not stress inducing, doesn't attach bad feelings or resentment.
I think my house could be a lot more convenient to my husband if I didn't
have a potted plant on every flat surface. He could stack his car manuals
there instead. If I didn't have wooden ducks on the piano he could put his
baseball caps up there. So, my "decor" really could be viewed by other
family members as "mess in the way of their stuff" if they wanted to look at
it like that.
If you (generic/general you) didn't have that table crammed with
photographs, couldn't your kids use it to build a Lego castle? Why haven't
you cleaned up that mess? <g>
Kids should be able to have their things around them. Kids are closer to
the floor and the seats of chairs and sofas. Those are the natural, logical
places for kid things. <g>
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cara
> It might be helpful to stop thinking of our children's thingsas "mess."
My original post was just stating that the sunroom and their bedrooms
are theirs to create whatever they will and I don't have to nag them
about picking it up off the floor. I didn't mean to imply that their
stuff is "mess" and mine is "decor". I just conveyed our solution to
our family cleaning up process. We all clean up our own mess in the
common areas of the house (family room, kitchen, dining room) but
other areas like our bedrooms and the sunroom are ours to do with as
we please.
I guess what I was trying to say, was I don't mind when their areas
become messy, i.e. not orderly. When our sunroom has more toys on the
floor than floor space I do think that is messy. Just when I have
more sewing fabric on the table than table space that is messy. Or
when hubby leaves his hunting supplies and magazines all over the
bedroom floor while he's organizing for this year's season it is messy.
I didn't mean to imply that I don't care about my children's things by
calling them 'mess'. I just meant that I don't mind their things
being strewn all over their spaces as far as cleaning went.
Blessings,
Cara :)