Punishment
Wildflower
I am still new to the yahoo group thing, so I am posting this on
several sites, sorry for the inbox filler if you belong to all of
them like I do! I had a website maintained for a log time and it
crashed, but the group thing is fairly new and I'm not sure of the
multi group netiquette.
I would like share something that might be interesting or maybe
helpful to some of you.
I was pulled from public school when I was 12, my parents unschooled
me my whole life, but didn't "pull me" until we moved.
I have been reading some of your post on punishments and thought it
might be interesting to know that my parent never spanked me,
grounded me, or anything else that might be considered punishment.
If it matters,I am one of 11 children.
Anyway, I was taught through example and discussion to talk to my
brothers when I was mad at them. My parents would help me define my
emotions, using terms like, "I think" or "I feel" at the right time.
Instead of saying "I feel like he's being mean." I would be asked
if "I felt mad and thought he was being mean" was more what I was
trying to say. They were real big on helping me find the real issue.
It was fine if I wanted to smack my brother in the head, but I
learned to tell him instead of do it most times.
The funny part is, that when all else failed, and because of
violence or failed discussion, my parents were brought in, we
thought that was punishment! We all agreed on one thing, that it was
easier to work it out somehow, even if it meant a difficult
compromise. Not because my parent would be angry or anything, it was
just that they had us work it out with so much talking and listening
to each other. We were even taught the old, "hit the pillow instead
of the person". I still use that when I release the urge for
physical anger.
I don't know if I think that is good or bad, I still use all of it
in my own way with my children. But I didn't know I was an
unschooler until my oldest was in 2nd grade, I just thought I was a
bad homeschooler! :)
peace,
Wildflower
several sites, sorry for the inbox filler if you belong to all of
them like I do! I had a website maintained for a log time and it
crashed, but the group thing is fairly new and I'm not sure of the
multi group netiquette.
I would like share something that might be interesting or maybe
helpful to some of you.
I was pulled from public school when I was 12, my parents unschooled
me my whole life, but didn't "pull me" until we moved.
I have been reading some of your post on punishments and thought it
might be interesting to know that my parent never spanked me,
grounded me, or anything else that might be considered punishment.
If it matters,I am one of 11 children.
Anyway, I was taught through example and discussion to talk to my
brothers when I was mad at them. My parents would help me define my
emotions, using terms like, "I think" or "I feel" at the right time.
Instead of saying "I feel like he's being mean." I would be asked
if "I felt mad and thought he was being mean" was more what I was
trying to say. They were real big on helping me find the real issue.
It was fine if I wanted to smack my brother in the head, but I
learned to tell him instead of do it most times.
The funny part is, that when all else failed, and because of
violence or failed discussion, my parents were brought in, we
thought that was punishment! We all agreed on one thing, that it was
easier to work it out somehow, even if it meant a difficult
compromise. Not because my parent would be angry or anything, it was
just that they had us work it out with so much talking and listening
to each other. We were even taught the old, "hit the pillow instead
of the person". I still use that when I release the urge for
physical anger.
I don't know if I think that is good or bad, I still use all of it
in my own way with my children. But I didn't know I was an
unschooler until my oldest was in 2nd grade, I just thought I was a
bad homeschooler! :)
peace,
Wildflower
Kelly Weyd
That is a great story. Your parents set such a wonderful example. And it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with your own children. Now if I could just accomplish that in my own house with my 6 year who does not understand.
Kelly
Wildflower <unschoolfool@...> wrote:
I am still new to the yahoo group thing, so I am posting this on
several sites, sorry for the inbox filler if you belong to all of
them like I do! I had a website maintained for a log time and it
crashed, but the group thing is fairly new and I'm not sure of the
multi group netiquette.
I would like share something that might be interesting or maybe
helpful to some of you.
---------------------------------
Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Yahoo! Small Business.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly
Wildflower <unschoolfool@...> wrote:
I am still new to the yahoo group thing, so I am posting this on
several sites, sorry for the inbox filler if you belong to all of
them like I do! I had a website maintained for a log time and it
crashed, but the group thing is fairly new and I'm not sure of the
multi group netiquette.
I would like share something that might be interesting or maybe
helpful to some of you.
---------------------------------
Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Yahoo! Small Business.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wildflower Car
I just hate the idea that my kids might consider me punishment, or at least
that style of parenting punishment. But when I look back at it, I loved to
be around my parents any other time. I do have to admit that they were
talkers, as am I. So I have to actively work at listening to my children and
silently watching them. My parents wanted to teach my SO much about the
world and how to make a difference that it was sometimes like a lecture
because they get so passionate about things. Now as adult I understand!
WIldflower
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that style of parenting punishment. But when I look back at it, I loved to
be around my parents any other time. I do have to admit that they were
talkers, as am I. So I have to actively work at listening to my children and
silently watching them. My parents wanted to teach my SO much about the
world and how to make a difference that it was sometimes like a lecture
because they get so passionate about things. Now as adult I understand!
WIldflower
>From: Kelly Weyd <kellmar98@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Punishment
>Date: Mon, 16 Oct 2006 05:59:39 -0700 (PDT)
>
>That is a great story. Your parents set such a wonderful example. And it
>sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with your own children. Now if I
>could just accomplish that in my own house with my 6 year who does not
>understand.
> Kelly
>
>Wildflower <unschoolfool@...> wrote:
> I am still new to the yahoo group thing, so I am posting this on
>several sites, sorry for the inbox filler if you belong to all of
>them like I do! I had a website maintained for a log time and it
>crashed, but the group thing is fairly new and I'm not sure of the
>multi group netiquette.
>
>I would like share something that might be interesting or maybe
>helpful to some of you.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
>Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Yahoo! Small
>Business.
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
Try Search Survival Kits: Fix up your home and better handle your cash with
Live Search!
http://imagine-windowslive.com/search/kits/default.aspx?kit=improve&locale=en-US&source=hmtagline