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In a message dated 10/8/2006 9:30:29 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
pamperedmichelle@... writes:

Being polite means just
not being offensive. I have never stressed the "ma'am and sir" thing.
Never. Even before I was unschooling. I also don't insist that my
children call adults by Mr. or Mrs. _______. Just their names.
That's how I introduce them to my adults friends. "Martha this is my
daughter Emily. Emily this is my friend Martha."



**********

I missed the original post on this.

I treat my kids the way I believe they will be "expected" to treat someone
else. I live in the land of "ma'am" and "sir". I speak that way to other
people naturally and I speak that way to my children. That sounds weird <g>

When my daughter says "mom????", I say pleasantly "yes, ma'am?" But I would
never insist on her saying it back. If she is going someplace where that
sort of thing is expected, I might talk to her about being mindful of it.

I introduce or talk about adults the way the adult would like to be called.
So our neighbors are "Miss Marcie" and "Mrs. Smith" and "Linda".....all
about the same age.

Like all things in social interractions, there is a huge spectrum of
possibilities. Manners are a custom to help people speak a common language of
respect and kindness. Like all other languages, children will pick up what is
useful for them and we will emphasize some things that will help them navigate.
I think they become more intuned with time and experience.

If a person feels disrespected just because someone left out a "ma'am",
well, that is their problem. I used to get in trouble when we moved to New
Jersey when I was a child because I said "yes ma'am!", they thought I was being
elitist.

By the way, my husband used to be on the Presidential helicopters. I never
got to meet either the Clintons or the Bushes, but many of my friends did.
One friend even had Thanksgiving dinner at Camp David with the Clintons.
Anyhoo, the staff makes sure that you know your presidential etiquette before you
talk with them. I'll have to ask my husband when he wakes up if he ever saw
someone act "inappropriately" (gasp!) and see what happened.

Leslie in SC




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In a message dated 10/8/2006 8:30:30 AM Central Daylight Time,
pamperedmichelle@... writes:

Being polite means just
not being offensive. I have never stressed the "ma'am and sir" thing


I just wanted to share a funny we have never use yes sir or yes ma'am, my
husband was in the navy and has some serious issues with the phrase Yes Sir so
we just dont say it.... Anyhow my 7 yr old about a yr ago started using
the phrases to put us in our place. If we are being too authoritive we get Yes
Ma'am. Its not said disrespectfully at all so at first it took a few time
to figure out hey hes actually pointing out OUR bad behavior. Now its nice I
always know when I go a step too far in his world... example would be Jacob
go clean your room NOW hed reply Yes Ma'am.... to which I now go ouch
guess that was a bit rough how about I help you pick up your toys so the dog
doesnt chew anything up... and then I get ok Mom!!! Smiles

Chrissy in IL


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