Ren Allen

"Perhaps some would disagree with me, but I would have separated your
dd from your ds... but would have tried to not use the separation as
a punishment."

I totally agree with Nancy.

One of my older children tends to instigate when he's bored or
tired. I remind him that if he doesn't want to contribute to the
peace and happiness of the other people in the room, that he should
find another place in the house to be.
I can be quite forceful if someone is bent on hurting another human
being in any way. :)
I don't punish him, I DO try to maintain the comfort level of the
other people that don't deserve his actions.

Allowing one child to make another child miserable, is ignoring our
duties in my opinion.

I try to get to the root of the problem, asking him if he needs some
one on one time, or to get out of the house, or some food...or
whatever. I think by dialoguing these things it will help him
eventually notice this behavior rising up and he'll have ways to
deal with it before it becomes a problem.

Removing a problem person from the vicinity is how I'd deal with
anyone that was verbally or physically trying to harm anyone else in
my family. Heck, sometimes *I* am the one that needs removing, and
my dh steps in and reminds me to get away from everyone before doing
something stupid. I have a temper, and I'm not safe around anyone
when I'm really pissed....so it's good to have family reminding each
other when it's time to take a break. Isolating oneself can be
really helpful...sometimes our children need a reminder that they
aren't safe around other people at that moment.

Ren