Caring for adult children (subject change)
Michelle Leifur Reid
On 10/2/06, Vickisue Gray <vickisue_gray@...> wrote:
in our house. It seems to be that the general consensus of most
parents is that their job extends only until the child either a) turns
18 and moves out b) finishes college or c) needs a place in the
"between times." Preferably a or b. Get the kids to "move on" with
their lives. There is a cute/funny movie on DVD called "Failure to
Launch." In this movie the parents of a 30-something yo guy hire a
woman to convince their son to move out on his own. Towards the end
of the movie the son (who has caught on to what is happening)
announces that it is time for him to take on adult responsibilities
and wants to share his life with the "extractor." The parents are
aglow! Success! Then the son announces how if the knock out this
wall and change this around that he and his (supposed) girlfriend can
live upstairs and the parents can live downstairs and they can all
live together as one big happy family. Personally, I LOVE this idea.
A huge extended family living together.
I don't think our responsibilities end when a child reaches a certain
point. As long as there is a need it must be fulfilled. Why suddenly
would I become "tough love" after decades of gentle parenting? If my
child starts a path and falters or stumbles, YES I want to be able to
be there to help them. If they decide that living at home is what
they wish to continue to do, then great! Not only do I think that we
are supposed to be there to help them along the way, but I *want* to
be there. I realize that one day my children will most likely venture
off on their owns. Maybe sooner than I want them too (maybe later,
who knows.) But I am not going to begrudge them the assistance that
they need.
Michelle
> I have two teenager girls that I have talked extensively to. I highly recommend they pursue higher education. Strive for their dreams. But am I to continue to feed and house them if they chose to not pursue a life in their adulthood?I wanted to comment on this. This is something that we have discussed
in our house. It seems to be that the general consensus of most
parents is that their job extends only until the child either a) turns
18 and moves out b) finishes college or c) needs a place in the
"between times." Preferably a or b. Get the kids to "move on" with
their lives. There is a cute/funny movie on DVD called "Failure to
Launch." In this movie the parents of a 30-something yo guy hire a
woman to convince their son to move out on his own. Towards the end
of the movie the son (who has caught on to what is happening)
announces that it is time for him to take on adult responsibilities
and wants to share his life with the "extractor." The parents are
aglow! Success! Then the son announces how if the knock out this
wall and change this around that he and his (supposed) girlfriend can
live upstairs and the parents can live downstairs and they can all
live together as one big happy family. Personally, I LOVE this idea.
A huge extended family living together.
I don't think our responsibilities end when a child reaches a certain
point. As long as there is a need it must be fulfilled. Why suddenly
would I become "tough love" after decades of gentle parenting? If my
child starts a path and falters or stumbles, YES I want to be able to
be there to help them. If they decide that living at home is what
they wish to continue to do, then great! Not only do I think that we
are supposed to be there to help them along the way, but I *want* to
be there. I realize that one day my children will most likely venture
off on their owns. Maybe sooner than I want them too (maybe later,
who knows.) But I am not going to begrudge them the assistance that
they need.
Michelle
Vickisue Gray
Actually, I totally agree. My mother-in-law lives with us. My parents live down the road. The extended family is an awesome idea. My oldest wishes to live in Europe but would like us to build a house big enough to house her (and her future family) when they are in the states. My youngest (8) plans on living on our twenty acre farm for the rest of his life and has already told us that he plans to care for us as we care for his grandmother. We really need to get that bigger house built.
Michelle Leifur Reid <pamperedmichelle@...> wrote: On 10/2/06, Vickisue Gray <vickisue_gray@...> wrote:
in our house. It seems to be that the general consensus of most
parents is that their job extends only until the child either a) turns
18 and moves out b) finishes college or c) needs a place in the
"between times." Preferably a or b. Get the kids to "move on" with
their lives. There is a cute/funny movie on DVD called "Failure to
Launch." In this movie the parents of a 30-something yo guy hire a
woman to convince their son to move out on his own. Towards the end
of the movie the son (who has caught on to what is happening)
announces that it is time for him to take on adult responsibilities
and wants to share his life with the "extractor." The parents are
aglow! Success! Then the son announces how if the knock out this
wall and change this around that he and his (supposed) girlfriend can
live upstairs and the parents can live downstairs and they can all
live together as one big happy family. Personally, I LOVE this idea.
A huge extended family living together.
I don't think our responsibilities end when a child reaches a certain
point. As long as there is a need it must be fulfilled. Why suddenly
would I become "tough love" after decades of gentle parenting? If my
child starts a path and falters or stumbles, YES I want to be able to
be there to help them. If they decide that living at home is what
they wish to continue to do, then great! Not only do I think that we
are supposed to be there to help them along the way, but I *want* to
be there. I realize that one day my children will most likely venture
off on their owns. Maybe sooner than I want them too (maybe later,
who knows.) But I am not going to begrudge them the assistance that
they need.
Michelle
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michelle Leifur Reid <pamperedmichelle@...> wrote: On 10/2/06, Vickisue Gray <vickisue_gray@...> wrote:
> I have two teenager girls that I have talked extensively to. I highly recommend they pursue higher education. Strive for their dreams. But am I to continue to feed and house them if they chose to not pursue a life in their adulthood?I wanted to comment on this. This is something that we have discussed
in our house. It seems to be that the general consensus of most
parents is that their job extends only until the child either a) turns
18 and moves out b) finishes college or c) needs a place in the
"between times." Preferably a or b. Get the kids to "move on" with
their lives. There is a cute/funny movie on DVD called "Failure to
Launch." In this movie the parents of a 30-something yo guy hire a
woman to convince their son to move out on his own. Towards the end
of the movie the son (who has caught on to what is happening)
announces that it is time for him to take on adult responsibilities
and wants to share his life with the "extractor." The parents are
aglow! Success! Then the son announces how if the knock out this
wall and change this around that he and his (supposed) girlfriend can
live upstairs and the parents can live downstairs and they can all
live together as one big happy family. Personally, I LOVE this idea.
A huge extended family living together.
I don't think our responsibilities end when a child reaches a certain
point. As long as there is a need it must be fulfilled. Why suddenly
would I become "tough love" after decades of gentle parenting? If my
child starts a path and falters or stumbles, YES I want to be able to
be there to help them. If they decide that living at home is what
they wish to continue to do, then great! Not only do I think that we
are supposed to be there to help them along the way, but I *want* to
be there. I realize that one day my children will most likely venture
off on their owns. Maybe sooner than I want them too (maybe later,
who knows.) But I am not going to begrudge them the assistance that
they need.
Michelle
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
Yesyesyes! Why has our society adapted SO much that this sounds
bizarre? It happens all over the world, for a long time! I think we'd
need a MUCH bigger house though ;-) if all our kids got married and
started families with us.
In fact, Emily's life goal is to get married and be a mom *with* me,
not like me, but WITH me. yay!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
bizarre? It happens all over the world, for a long time! I think we'd
need a MUCH bigger house though ;-) if all our kids got married and
started families with us.
In fact, Emily's life goal is to get married and be a mom *with* me,
not like me, but WITH me. yay!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Oct 3, 2006, at 2:07 PM, Michelle Leifur Reid wrote:
> There is a cute/funny movie on DVD called "Failure to
> Launch." In this movie the parents of a 30-something yo guy hire a
> woman to convince their son to move out on his own. Towards the end
> of the movie the son (who has caught on to what is happening)
> announces that it is time for him to take on adult responsibilities
> and wants to share his life with the "extractor." The parents are
> aglow! Success! Then the son announces how if the knock out this
> wall and change this around that he and his (supposed) girlfriend can
> live upstairs and the parents can live downstairs and they can all
> live together as one big happy family. Personally, I LOVE this idea.
> A huge extended family living together.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]