help with ds--sex
Ren Allen
~~I'm not sure where this
embarrassment comes from. Could it just be his age?~~
Absolutely. Without reading the whole thread, I'm just going to
respond to what my first thought was.....you gave him too much
information.
Yes, we need to be honest with our children. Yes, we need to tell the
whole truth, but not all at once. I'm thinking he started down a line
of questioning and wanted SOME information, but maybe got more than he
was ready for? Maybe?
So he's sorting through all that information and feeling overwhelmed.
I would let him know that I honor his feelings but he can't call me
names and try to make ME feel badly about something that is natural.
I'd let him know that when I was a kid, I thought it was gross too and
that's very normal and natural. I'd tell him that next time he asks
questions about a topic that is uncomfortable for him, you're going to
give shorter and more general answers for now.
Sex has always been discussed very naturally here, so there was never
a point at which anyone was really surprised by any information. They
just slowly wanted more details and some of it grossed them out of
course, but there was never a strong reaction.
I can't possibly know why he's reacting so strongly, but I'm just
guessing he got TMI.:) Sometimes when our kids ask, we need to be
brief and only add on after they ask more. If he kept on wanting more
and more, then he got what he needed and it's the processing that he's
having a hard time with. I wouldn't hesitate to let someone know they
aren't going to call me names and treat me badly, as upset as they
are. It's ok to think what you want to think, it's not cool to go
around attacking someone all day.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
embarrassment comes from. Could it just be his age?~~
Absolutely. Without reading the whole thread, I'm just going to
respond to what my first thought was.....you gave him too much
information.
Yes, we need to be honest with our children. Yes, we need to tell the
whole truth, but not all at once. I'm thinking he started down a line
of questioning and wanted SOME information, but maybe got more than he
was ready for? Maybe?
So he's sorting through all that information and feeling overwhelmed.
I would let him know that I honor his feelings but he can't call me
names and try to make ME feel badly about something that is natural.
I'd let him know that when I was a kid, I thought it was gross too and
that's very normal and natural. I'd tell him that next time he asks
questions about a topic that is uncomfortable for him, you're going to
give shorter and more general answers for now.
Sex has always been discussed very naturally here, so there was never
a point at which anyone was really surprised by any information. They
just slowly wanted more details and some of it grossed them out of
course, but there was never a strong reaction.
I can't possibly know why he's reacting so strongly, but I'm just
guessing he got TMI.:) Sometimes when our kids ask, we need to be
brief and only add on after they ask more. If he kept on wanting more
and more, then he got what he needed and it's the processing that he's
having a hard time with. I wouldn't hesitate to let someone know they
aren't going to call me names and treat me badly, as upset as they
are. It's ok to think what you want to think, it's not cool to go
around attacking someone all day.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Momma
Yes, I told him that I was concerned when he first started asking questions
that I might give him too much information. We went to the dictionary
several times to find a basic definition of certain words.
There were several things he asked that I really didn't think he was ready
to know but I didn't want to tell him, "You're too young to know those
things." Adults said that to me all the time when I was a kid and it
infuriated me. I was wrong I guess. He is not the type of person that is
happy with vague answers and can see right away when you are trying to gloss
over something.
How could I have handled that better?
Dawn
~~I'm not sure where this
embarrassment comes from. Could it just be his age?~~
Absolutely. Without reading the whole thread, I'm just going to
respond to what my first thought was.....you gave him too much
information.
Yes, we need to be honest with our children. Yes, we need to tell the
whole truth, but not all at once. I'm thinking he started down a line
of questioning and wanted SOME information, but maybe got more than he
was ready for? Maybe?
So he's sorting through all that information and feeling overwhelmed.
I would let him know that I honor his feelings but he can't call me
names and try to make ME feel badly about something that is natural.
I'd let him know that when I was a kid, I thought it was gross too and
that's very normal and natural. I'd tell him that next time he asks
questions about a topic that is uncomfortable for him, you're going to
give shorter and more general answers for now.
Sex has always been discussed very naturally here, so there was never
a point at which anyone was really surprised by any information. They
just slowly wanted more details and some of it grossed them out of
course, but there was never a strong reaction.
I can't possibly know why he's reacting so strongly, but I'm just
guessing he got TMI.:) Sometimes when our kids ask, we need to be
brief and only add on after they ask more. If he kept on wanting more
and more, then he got what he needed and it's the processing that he's
having a hard time with. I wouldn't hesitate to let someone know they
aren't going to call me names and treat me badly, as upset as they
are. It's ok to think what you want to think, it's not cool to go
around attacking someone all day.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
that I might give him too much information. We went to the dictionary
several times to find a basic definition of certain words.
There were several things he asked that I really didn't think he was ready
to know but I didn't want to tell him, "You're too young to know those
things." Adults said that to me all the time when I was a kid and it
infuriated me. I was wrong I guess. He is not the type of person that is
happy with vague answers and can see right away when you are trying to gloss
over something.
How could I have handled that better?
Dawn
~~I'm not sure where this
embarrassment comes from. Could it just be his age?~~
Absolutely. Without reading the whole thread, I'm just going to
respond to what my first thought was.....you gave him too much
information.
Yes, we need to be honest with our children. Yes, we need to tell the
whole truth, but not all at once. I'm thinking he started down a line
of questioning and wanted SOME information, but maybe got more than he
was ready for? Maybe?
So he's sorting through all that information and feeling overwhelmed.
I would let him know that I honor his feelings but he can't call me
names and try to make ME feel badly about something that is natural.
I'd let him know that when I was a kid, I thought it was gross too and
that's very normal and natural. I'd tell him that next time he asks
questions about a topic that is uncomfortable for him, you're going to
give shorter and more general answers for now.
Sex has always been discussed very naturally here, so there was never
a point at which anyone was really surprised by any information. They
just slowly wanted more details and some of it grossed them out of
course, but there was never a strong reaction.
I can't possibly know why he's reacting so strongly, but I'm just
guessing he got TMI.:) Sometimes when our kids ask, we need to be
brief and only add on after they ask more. If he kept on wanting more
and more, then he got what he needed and it's the processing that he's
having a hard time with. I wouldn't hesitate to let someone know they
aren't going to call me names and treat me badly, as upset as they
are. It's ok to think what you want to think, it's not cool to go
around attacking someone all day.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
I would have answered that question with a question..."What do you
mean?" or "What do you think?". Sometimes learning isn't about
hearing the answers, but having the opportunity to sound out your
thoughts on another person. Maybe the clash between what he was
thinking and what you were saying was too much ;-)
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
mean?" or "What do you think?". Sometimes learning isn't about
hearing the answers, but having the opportunity to sound out your
thoughts on another person. Maybe the clash between what he was
thinking and what you were saying was too much ;-)
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Oct 3, 2006, at 11:45 AM, Momma wrote:
> Yes, I told him that I was concerned when he first started asking
> questions
> that I might give him too much information. We went to the dictionary
> several times to find a basic definition of certain words.
>
> There were several things he asked that I really didn't think he
> was ready
> to know but I didn't want to tell him, "You're too young to know those
> things." Adults said that to me all the time when I was a kid and it
> infuriated me. I was wrong I guess. He is not the type of person
> that is
> happy with vague answers and can see right away when you are trying
> to gloss
> over something.
>
> How could I have handled that better?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]