Re: [unschoolingbasics] Question on dealing with family..
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/22/2006 7:37:25 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
How do you handle situations with people who just don't
get what you are saying?<<<<<
I don't usually get into the parenting issue with them I just ask them what
they really want. Just an example, a mom brought candy to the park one day,
this was like 3 years ago so my youngest was probably around 6. Every child
had a piece and as my youngest was walking away he dropped a piece of candy
wrapper on the ground, he didn't know this. One mom said "you need to pick up
your trash, we don't want to pollute this beautiful park etc etc." My son
looked at her and I think was a bit confused but he just walked away. I just
reached down and picked it up for him. After all there were a bunch of us
sitting around, he wasn't the only one in the park that could pick it up. LOL.
Anyway she started saying that "I was not trying to get mom to pick up the
trash, I was trying to get the child to pick up the trash". All I said was
"so really you were not wanting the trash picked up to not pollute the park as
you stated, you were trying to *teach* my child a lesson." She got the hint
and was quiet. LOL.
I might have asked my MIL what she really wanted, "do you really want help
with your chair, if you do I am more than willing to help you with your chair,
I am just sitting here and then my daughter can enjoy the time she has hear
and play with the others, we so enjoy coming here and enjoy the company."
That might have diffused the situation. So you wouldn't get into it with
her at all. Where you see them frequently maybe it would be easier to see her
when there are not a lot of other adults around. I think sometimes older
people feel a need to "take control" and "be right" in front of others. Like
some pack mentality, have to stay on top.
Also talk with your daughter at home, let her express her feelings and her
wants and needs in a situation like that. Maybe roll play some other ways of
communicating.
Just a thought,
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
How do you handle situations with people who just don't
get what you are saying?<<<<<
I don't usually get into the parenting issue with them I just ask them what
they really want. Just an example, a mom brought candy to the park one day,
this was like 3 years ago so my youngest was probably around 6. Every child
had a piece and as my youngest was walking away he dropped a piece of candy
wrapper on the ground, he didn't know this. One mom said "you need to pick up
your trash, we don't want to pollute this beautiful park etc etc." My son
looked at her and I think was a bit confused but he just walked away. I just
reached down and picked it up for him. After all there were a bunch of us
sitting around, he wasn't the only one in the park that could pick it up. LOL.
Anyway she started saying that "I was not trying to get mom to pick up the
trash, I was trying to get the child to pick up the trash". All I said was
"so really you were not wanting the trash picked up to not pollute the park as
you stated, you were trying to *teach* my child a lesson." She got the hint
and was quiet. LOL.
I might have asked my MIL what she really wanted, "do you really want help
with your chair, if you do I am more than willing to help you with your chair,
I am just sitting here and then my daughter can enjoy the time she has hear
and play with the others, we so enjoy coming here and enjoy the company."
That might have diffused the situation. So you wouldn't get into it with
her at all. Where you see them frequently maybe it would be easier to see her
when there are not a lot of other adults around. I think sometimes older
people feel a need to "take control" and "be right" in front of others. Like
some pack mentality, have to stay on top.
Also talk with your daughter at home, let her express her feelings and her
wants and needs in a situation like that. Maybe roll play some other ways of
communicating.
Just a thought,
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]