Homeschooling an only child
kristina pickens
I have only one child and she sees a psychiatrist. This woman is deadset against my homeschooling this child since there are no other children and therefore "peers" in the house and feels it would stop her from gaining socialization skills. My daughter is 12 and is very sociable and articulate around adults, feels very at home with them but it is the school where she has problems making and keeping friends......any thoughts on this? ANY input would be much appreciated.
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Lesa
Oh, that's hogwash! My DD is an only child and she sees many *peers* during
the week because we are active. And seriously... I don't look at it the way
that psychiatrist is looking at a *peer*. As an adult my peers are of all
ages... so why should that be different for my child? It doesn't and it's
not.
You do what you know in your heart is best for your DD! And that may also
mean taking your child to see a different psychiatrist.
Lesa
http://lifeacademy.homeschooljournal.net
-------Original Message-------
From: kristina pickens
Date: 09/19/06 12:17:16
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Homeschooling an only child
I have only one child and she sees a psychiatrist. This woman is deadset
against my homeschooling this child since there are no other children and
therefore "peers" in the house and feels it would stop her from gaining
socialization skills. My daughter is 12 and is very sociable and articulate
around adults, feels very at home with them but it is the school where she
has problems making and keeping friends......any thoughts on this? ANY input
would be much appreciated.
---------------------------------
All-new Yahoo! Mail - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done
faster.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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the week because we are active. And seriously... I don't look at it the way
that psychiatrist is looking at a *peer*. As an adult my peers are of all
ages... so why should that be different for my child? It doesn't and it's
not.
You do what you know in your heart is best for your DD! And that may also
mean taking your child to see a different psychiatrist.
Lesa
http://lifeacademy.homeschooljournal.net
-------Original Message-------
From: kristina pickens
Date: 09/19/06 12:17:16
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Homeschooling an only child
I have only one child and she sees a psychiatrist. This woman is deadset
against my homeschooling this child since there are no other children and
therefore "peers" in the house and feels it would stop her from gaining
socialization skills. My daughter is 12 and is very sociable and articulate
around adults, feels very at home with them but it is the school where she
has problems making and keeping friends......any thoughts on this? ANY input
would be much appreciated.
---------------------------------
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faster.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[email protected]
If you wish to continue this discussion with this psychiatrist (and you
don't HAVE to), you might ask her *exactly* what skills she thinks will be
lacking at home. I think you'll find that most are not exclusive to school and
easily accomplished through other activities.
If she is having trouble making friends at school and she wants help to make
friends, this would be more naturally done within the scope of her
interests. It would be safer emotionally in a small group.
I also have never quite understood why being in a room full of thirty people
your age equals socialization. Adults are required to "socialize" with a
very wide range of people: older, younger, smarter, not very intelligent,
professional, laborer.....those people aren't necessarily your friends but people
you work with, for and get services from. A child, even an only child, will
accompany the parent in the real world of social/professional interactions.
Their model for interaction isn't a room full of other kids, but adults
doing adult things!
In addition, does she *want* friends her age? There is nothing wrong with
wanting to be around older/younger people. I think my grandmother was my best
friend when I was having a difficult time with my school peers.
There is so much to say here! But I will stop. I have a fashion show to
attend. :)
Leslie in SC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
don't HAVE to), you might ask her *exactly* what skills she thinks will be
lacking at home. I think you'll find that most are not exclusive to school and
easily accomplished through other activities.
If she is having trouble making friends at school and she wants help to make
friends, this would be more naturally done within the scope of her
interests. It would be safer emotionally in a small group.
I also have never quite understood why being in a room full of thirty people
your age equals socialization. Adults are required to "socialize" with a
very wide range of people: older, younger, smarter, not very intelligent,
professional, laborer.....those people aren't necessarily your friends but people
you work with, for and get services from. A child, even an only child, will
accompany the parent in the real world of social/professional interactions.
Their model for interaction isn't a room full of other kids, but adults
doing adult things!
In addition, does she *want* friends her age? There is nothing wrong with
wanting to be around older/younger people. I think my grandmother was my best
friend when I was having a difficult time with my school peers.
There is so much to say here! But I will stop. I have a fashion show to
attend. :)
Leslie in SC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michelle Leifur Reid
On 9/19/06, kristina pickens <jories_mom2000@...> wrote:
unsupportive of a decision that you see as being right for your child?
That would be the first thing that I would change. Ask around the
homeschool community for a supportive therapist. Just because there
are no other children in the house doesn't mean that your child is
deprived of "socialization" This is a huge misunderstanding in the
non-homeschool community. People assume that because our children
aren't in school that they are void of all socialization. They don't
realize that our children are involved in sports, theatre, music,
gymnastics, scouting, church groups *and* that they get to meet and
*socialize* with people of *all* ages, not just a set of peers of
their own age (and generally social background)!! My 11 yo considers
Rose (on this list) to be one of her friends and invited Rose to her
10th birthday party. My son's "best friend" is my 34yo brother. And
my almost 14yo adores little 3yo Daisy and likes to spend time with
her! While they lament not having more friends their own ages, their
social circle is so much bigger than children aged 8, 11, and 14.
Do you know if this therapist is giving your daughter messages about
"fitting in" at school or if this therapist's "goal" is to get your
daughter to a point where she will want to go to school? I would be
concerned about this. Just as I wouldn't go to a therapist who wasn't
respectful of my sexuality and religious beliefs, neither would I use
the services of a therapist who us disrespectful of my
home/unschooling.
--
Michelle
> I have only one child and she sees a psychiatrist. This woman is deadset against my homeschooling this child since there are no other children and therefore "peers" in the house and feels it would stop her from gaining socialization skills. My daughter is 12 and is very sociable and articulate around adults, feels very at home with them but it is the school where she has problems making and keeping friends......any thoughts on this? ANY input would be much appreciated.Why do you continue having your daughter see a therapist who is
>
unsupportive of a decision that you see as being right for your child?
That would be the first thing that I would change. Ask around the
homeschool community for a supportive therapist. Just because there
are no other children in the house doesn't mean that your child is
deprived of "socialization" This is a huge misunderstanding in the
non-homeschool community. People assume that because our children
aren't in school that they are void of all socialization. They don't
realize that our children are involved in sports, theatre, music,
gymnastics, scouting, church groups *and* that they get to meet and
*socialize* with people of *all* ages, not just a set of peers of
their own age (and generally social background)!! My 11 yo considers
Rose (on this list) to be one of her friends and invited Rose to her
10th birthday party. My son's "best friend" is my 34yo brother. And
my almost 14yo adores little 3yo Daisy and likes to spend time with
her! While they lament not having more friends their own ages, their
social circle is so much bigger than children aged 8, 11, and 14.
Do you know if this therapist is giving your daughter messages about
"fitting in" at school or if this therapist's "goal" is to get your
daughter to a point where she will want to go to school? I would be
concerned about this. Just as I wouldn't go to a therapist who wasn't
respectful of my sexuality and religious beliefs, neither would I use
the services of a therapist who us disrespectful of my
home/unschooling.
--
Michelle
kristina pickens
AMEN.
I AM VERY unhappy about the response my childs "shrink' gave me and I AM actively in search for another. Thank you for your support. I KNOW I'm right. I JUST wanted to see whether anyone saw it my way.........
thanks again,
Kristina
Michelle Leifur Reid <pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
I AM VERY unhappy about the response my childs "shrink' gave me and I AM actively in search for another. Thank you for your support. I KNOW I'm right. I JUST wanted to see whether anyone saw it my way.........
thanks again,
Kristina
Michelle Leifur Reid <pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
On 9/19/06, kristina pickens <jories_mom2000@...> wrote:
> I have only one child and she sees a psychiatrist. This woman is deadset against my homeschooling this child since there are no other children and therefore "peers" in the house and feels it would stop her from gaining socialization skills. My daughter is 12 and is very sociable and articulate around adults, feels very at home with them but it is the school where she has problems making and keeping friends......any thoughts on this? ANY input would be much appreciated.
>
Why do you continue having your daughter see a therapist who is
unsupportive of a decision that you see as being right for your child?
That would be the first thing that I would change. Ask around the
homeschool community for a supportive therapist. Just because there
are no other children in the house doesn't mean that your child is
deprived of "socialization" This is a huge misunderstanding in the
non-homeschool community. People assume that because our children
aren't in school that they are void of all socialization. They don't
realize that our children are involved in sports, theatre, music,
gymnastics, scouting, church groups *and* that they get to meet and
*socialize* with people of *all* ages, not just a set of peers of
their own age (and generally social background)!! My 11 yo considers
Rose (on this list) to be one of her friends and invited Rose to her
10th birthday party. My son's "best friend" is my 34yo brother. And
my almost 14yo adores little 3yo Daisy and likes to spend time with
her! While they lament not having more friends their own ages, their
social circle is so much bigger than children aged 8, 11, and 14.
Do you know if this therapist is giving your daughter messages about
"fitting in" at school or if this therapist's "goal" is to get your
daughter to a point where she will want to go to school? I would be
concerned about this. Just as I wouldn't go to a therapist who wasn't
respectful of my sexuality and religious beliefs, neither would I use
the services of a therapist who us disrespectful of my
home/unschooling.
--
Michelle
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[email protected]
Hi Kristina: I am an unschooling mother of an only child. and I am also a a psychotherapist, although I see primarily adults and not children. In my work with adults who bring up their concerns as parents, I try not to get involved in discussions about issues they don't see as a problem. This is unless I consider some subject they not considering as absolutely central and crucial.
I would suggest you ask yourself, whether you are bringing the homeschooling up as a topic for the psychiatrist to comment on. If that is so, you should reconsider. This psychiatrist is obviously not the person to help you in your journey as an unschooler. You will never get her approval or even helpful feedback about this.
Psychiatrists are just people with their own limitations and biases. Many psychiatrists are only trained to provide medication and diagnoses and have no ability to conduct therapy. You should let her know that you do not need help about your decision to homeschool and are not interested in discussing this issue. If the psychiatrist accepts these terms, then you can move onto and talk with her about whatever other concerns that motivates to to bring your daughter for treatment. You can confine your discussion to those topics, even if it is just about medication. Stick with what you want from the psychiatrist.
If the psychiatrist can't let go of homeschooling as an issue, even if you are clear that you do not want to discuss this, than you need to find someone else who will be clearer about their role and respect your boundaries and decisions more.
Regards,
Andrea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I would suggest you ask yourself, whether you are bringing the homeschooling up as a topic for the psychiatrist to comment on. If that is so, you should reconsider. This psychiatrist is obviously not the person to help you in your journey as an unschooler. You will never get her approval or even helpful feedback about this.
Psychiatrists are just people with their own limitations and biases. Many psychiatrists are only trained to provide medication and diagnoses and have no ability to conduct therapy. You should let her know that you do not need help about your decision to homeschool and are not interested in discussing this issue. If the psychiatrist accepts these terms, then you can move onto and talk with her about whatever other concerns that motivates to to bring your daughter for treatment. You can confine your discussion to those topics, even if it is just about medication. Stick with what you want from the psychiatrist.
If the psychiatrist can't let go of homeschooling as an issue, even if you are clear that you do not want to discuss this, than you need to find someone else who will be clearer about their role and respect your boundaries and decisions more.
Regards,
Andrea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]